Hello fellow gladiators-
I will be trying to update a minimum of once a week but hopefully more but it may be a little tough with a full time job and college classes. I am determined though to get this story out there!
Warning- This chapter may be a little tough to read
The only light in the room was coming from the short lamp sitting on a rounded table in the corner. Even that tiny bit of light being illuminated in the room was too much and caused his dull headache he has had for four days to start increasing to a more prominent pain. But even so this pain was faint and even welcomed compared to the pain he could not control or simmer, the pain of burying his son.
Looking around the room that so many dreamed of commanding and calling their office, he could only see it as a burden now. His son would be alive if he was not president, her mother would not have killed his son if he was not president, she would not have run if he was not president.
It has been four days since his son died, or was murdered to be exact. And today they buried him, with the world watching and over 500 people in attendance, he had to say goodbye to his son. The pain of knowing that he is the reason his sweet sweet boy would not graduate high school, or go to college, or even get to experience love, killed him in the inside. The bourbon was no longer working to block the pain and it was starting to become all too much.
What made everything that much worse was that fact that she ran, left him when he needed her the most. He understood why she did it, she felt responsible, but she must know that her leaving, leaving him during this was the worst thing she could of done. He needed to feel her, be comforted by her simple presence like he always was but now that was not an option. She left and didn't even go to his son's funeral.
Mellie had long gone to bed which she has not left aside for the funeral and the bathroom. Karen is already on her way back to school, she is in denial and probably feels going back to her normal routine would make it like her life has not just changed forever.
Fitz looks around the room again and then down at the desk he has his feet resting on as he is sitting back in his chair. Swiveling the chair so he could reach the top desk drawer, he opens it and retrieves the orange bottle with the white label showing a prescription of Xanax to an Oliver Williams. Of course he could not have the doctor prescribe it under his name but indeed these were for him.
Three days ago when he felt as if he could not breath and all was closing in on him, when Mellie called Olivia and she did not answer, when the weight of losing his son and the love of his life became too much, he was given these pills. Once a doctor arrived at the Oval and rushed over to Fitz who laid semi-conscious on the presidential seal, the doctor checked him over and it was diagnosed as a panic attack.
He was given the pills to help him relax but the amount of pills in the tube has not changed since they were handed to him. He didn't want to numb the pain because he felt he deserved to feel it, everything that had happened was his doing.
Tonight was different though. The pain was overbearing, especially since Tom informed him that OPA was closed down and Olivia's apartment was empty. She really was gone and hearing that news today the day of his son's funeral was too much for him to bare.
Who is he to be sitting in the most prestigious office in the world, who is he to be alive breathing, drinking delicious and expensive bourbon. He killed Jerry. He is the reason Mellie is ruined, he should have protected her from his disgusting father. He is the reason Karen left, he has not said a word to her since her brother's death. He is the reason Olivia felt the need to run. He is the reason Teddy will grow up in this broken, dysfunctional family.
Fitz picks up the bottle and looks inside to see the 20 long white rectangle 2.0 mg pills that could solve all of his problems and help rid of his demons. It would be better for everyone if he was no longer here. Mellie wouldn't have to deal with her cheating husband anymore and the American public would feel bad for her which would help in the politic career she is seeking for. Olivia would no longer be held down by him and she would finally be free to love openly and maybe actually find happiness. Teddy and Karen would no longer have a pathetic shell of a man as a father.
Those close to him would be better off and hell the American people would be better off having Andrew as their president right now than him. The only reason he won the re-election is because of his son's death, yet again he was not good enough to win on his own so they would most definitely be better off without him.
Getting up he walks over to the glass canister that has become one of his dearest friends and refills his glass of bourbon, he must of drank an entire canister today if not more but yet it keeps getting refilled, someone clearly knows what he needs.
Sitting down on the couch he looks around the room and takes it all in one last time.
"I'm sorry Jerry that I couldn't protect you, I am so sorry" Fitz says aloud to the room as he breaks down in sobs. This is the first time he has cried since his son has died.
He finally composes himself and opens the orange bottle again and pours half the bottle in his hand. In one quick motion he throws the handful of pills in his mouth and washes it down with his full glass of bourbon. Once the glass is empty Fitz leans back and lays down on the couch and fills his head of thoughts about Jerry and Olivia until the pain fades away.
"I need to see him, I know he does not want to bothered today out of all days but I need to talk to him" Cyrus was pacing back and forth outside of the oval where Tom and Hal stood securing the office and their president.
"The president gave instructions not to be disturbed" Hal stated calmly giving Cyrus a quick glance than returning his gaze forward.
"The man just buried his son, have you at least checked on him!" Cyrus' voice now rising with each word and getting more and more agitated that he could not get into the office. Thankfully Lauren was relieved of her duties earlier in the day and the halls were less lively than most days so no one was around to witness his antics.
"Following protocol we have checked in once every half hour, sir." Tom says to Cyrus unfazed by his rising voice which he has become accustomed to.
"How much longer?" Cyrus asked
"Two minutes, Sir." Tom replies not even looking at his watch
Cyrus stands there in completed silence for two minutes staring at the two men who are blocking his path to his president.
"Open the damn door!" Tom listens and opens the door while Cyrus plows through the two secret service agents.
Cyrus looks towards the couch and sees Fitz sleeping. Tom and Hal follow him in and they walk over to the couch and see the bottle of pills on the table in front of him and the typical glass of bourbon empty.
"The Fox is down, code red" Hal states rushed into his mouth piece. Tom checks for a pulse and does not find one, and tries to wake him up with no luck.
Cyrus is stilled by the scene before him, he knew Fitz had his demons and was in a world of pain but he never would think that his friend, his president would attempt to take his own life. He continues to stand frozen as he watched Tom and Hal try to revive the president.
Soon there are countless agents storming into the room and one of them runs right over to the president and has Tom move over. He sees the pill bottle and lifts the president's lifeless body up into a sitting positon.
"Get me a trash can, now!" The agent demands and one is brought over immediately.
The agent puts two fingers into the presidents mouth and down his throat and pushes them down until he feels bile coming up. This causes Fitz's body to jerk forward and Tom puts the trashcan up to his mouth as he started to throw up.
Fitz still has his eyes closed and seems to be completely out of it but his body continues to vomit up the alcohol and pills he consumed.
A doctor comes through the door and all the agents move aside to let him through to the president. He is shocked to see what is transpiring in front of his eyes but remains professional and keeps a calm face.
"We found him unconscious and he was not breathing but we were able to get him to throw up as much as possible but he is still unresponsive but he is breathing now" The agent who helped him throw up informs the doctor.
"Please everyone step aside" The doctor states as he moves over to Fitz who is now laying back down. The doctor examines him and takes a look at his eyes, then gives him a shot of naloxone, hoping this will help.
"What now, is he going to be okay, why is he not waking up?!" Cyrus finally finding his voice asked the doctor as he moves closer to Fitz.
"The fact that the agents were able to get him to throw most if not all of the pills up and the shot I just gave him should help but we can't be sure of the damage that it caused until we get him awake or to a hospital"
"Is there any way to help him here without bringing him to the hospital, we cannot have the world knowing the president of the United States tried to kill himself" Cyrus states as the doctor gives him a look of disapproval.
"Mr. President" Tom states as he sees Fitz eyes flutter open but they portray no emotion or life.
"Mr. President, can do you know where you are and what happened?" The doctor asks as Fitz slowly looks around the room that is filled with his secret service guards and his eyes land on a distraught Cyrus.
"Mr. President?" Cyrus asked slowly and moves closer to him
"Water…" Fitz says so low Cyrus almost didn't hear him.
"Someone grab me some water please?!" Cyrus demands trying to keep his emotions in check. One of the agents hands him a bottle of water.
"Can I help you try to sit up sir?" Cyrus asks Fitz and with the slightest nod he gives him permission.
Cyrus slowly grabs Fitz's shoulders and helps him sit up while Fitz immediately leans over the trash can and throws up again. Once he is down Cyrus holds the bottle of water and brings it to Fitz's mouth and helps him slowly drink a couple of sips.
"Mr. President, are you aware of what happened" The doctor asked again wanting to make sure.
Fitz looks around the room and it is clear on his face he is embarrassed and ashamed of his actions.
"Yes." He states simply and closes his eyes
"Can we please have the room?" Cyrus asked looking at all the secret service agents in the room
They all file out aside from Tom who stays behind and gives Cyrus a look clearly states he is not going anywhere.
The door closes and the only ones left in the room are Fitz, Cyrus, Tom, and the doctor. Cyrus turns back to the president and looks at him softly.
"Mr. President….why?"
And there it is. Please review and let me know what you think? I am just starting to get the hang of this