The Romancer Opalbane
Episode Twenty-Six: Who's Marrying Whom Now? And WHY??
Alessandre and Onyxbane glared at each other for an impossible moment. The handsome rogue was taller than the warrior by a whole head, but Onyxbane was not one to be intimidated by a sheer size difference. Alessandre might be a professional assassin, but Onyxbane was a professional warrior in his own right. Opalbane's pale blue-skinned brother had stared down the gullets of horrible monsters in countless dungeons all over the face of Azeroth.
"Do you think I'm afraid of you because you've got that nice armor and a rapier?" Onyxbane mocked the assassin Alessandre.
"Do you think that monstrous battle axe intimidates me any? It just makes you even more slow than you are stupid." Alessandre scowled back.
"The ladies say you have pretty face," Onyxbane chuckled at Alessandre's expense, "but that just means you haven't been in any good fights. I think a black eye would go nicely with those so-called dark good looks." Onyxbane smiled at his clever joke. He didn't make too many of them, so he was especially proud of this one. "Sissy, hold the Reaper." Onyxbane actually handed the axe to his sister so that he could beat up her boyfriend.
Opalbane scowled and snatched the Arcanite Reaper from her brother. Her shadowform flared up instantly. "What is it that I've always told you about NOT TOUCHING MY THINGS!" she shouted at her little brother.
Onyxbane retorted, "We aren't talking about some doll of yours, Sissy. This man is an imposter, a murderer! I'll not allow you to marry him. And give me my Reaper back." Onyxbane stamped his foot and sounded like a little boy at the end of his tirade.
Opalbane pointed her finger in her little brother's face. "If you dare lay a hand on my Alessandre—"
"Hold on now, Opalbane. I can handle this myself. If it's a fight your brother wants…" and Alessandre began to roll up the long sleeves of his shirt.
"I'll kill you if you dare lay a hand on my little brother!" Opalbane suddenly flashed angry eyes at her boyfriend too. Both Onyxbane and Alessandre looked at each other, in genuine confusion.
"He started it!" they both burst forth at once.
Wisthera entered the little alcove then. "Now that's enough! Really! Onyxbane, you get away from that axe. We are not breaking up Al and your sister."
"Al?" Alessandre flinched. Opalbane was supposed to be the only one who called him that.
"But he's a murderer! Just look at him… he's not a good guy, plus he's a rogue!"
"I was found innocent." Alessandre flashed a look at Opalbane who seemed concerned. "It was just some confusion," he panicked and lied hurriedly. "I assassinated the wrong person, or so Shadowstep said." Alessandre cringed at being deceitful, but he just wanted to marry the woman he loved. He didn't want any complications.
Onyxbane insisted that Alessandre was no good, but then Wisthera flew into a tirade about how she was a rogue too, and that not all rogues were bad, just take herself for example… Of course, using herself as an example was a bad idea because Wisthera had been a successful con artist from the day she'd left Teldrassil as a novice until about two months ago when Priestess Feathershine found out and made her stop. Failing there, Wisthera mentioned other rogues she knew who could also be considered good people. But, as it turned out, Master Rogue Shadowstep, his Second Commander Myrielle, and some of her old girlfriends from Thelsamar were all horrible examples because they were conniving, manipulative shady types though stand up citizens by rogue standards.
Opalbane stared at Wisthera as she spoke. The way that other female elf stood, gesticulated, everything about her brother's girlfriend was off for some reason. At first Opalbane couldn't place it, but then Wisthera took a deep exhausted breath and rubbed her belly. Where was the tight form-fitting leather the seductive ex-con artist normally wore?
"You're pregnant!" Opalbane blurted out.
Wisthera paused mid-sentence. Her blue skin blushed until even the tips of her long ears started to look purple.
"I'm right?" Opalbane stammered.
"Well, I'm not getting fat, if that's what you mean. I only found out about a month ago, and then it turned out I was farther along than I thought. It's been about five months."
Everyone hesitated for a moment as they did a mental calculation as to the date the baby was made. Opalbane half worried that her brother wasn't the father, while Alessandre half worried that he was.
"Oh wait!" Alessandre announced triumphantly after a time. "You are the one woman on the face of Azeroth I didn't sleep with, thank the goddess. Wow, it really is a relief to not be worrying about that for once."
Opalbane glared at her boyfriend, and her shadowform flared menacingly before she put it out.
"Thank you for reminding me of that, Al." Wisthera folded her arms across her chest and grimaced.
"Why are you upset that you didn't sleep with my boyfriend?" Opalbane demanded of Wisthera.
"And why do you have a nickname for Alessandre, if you didn't sleep with him?" Onyxbane likewise questioned Wisthera.
Alessandre shook his head with disappointment. "And who said you of all people were allowed to procreate? Like we need any more lying, cheating, whack-job women rogues running around Thelsamar ruining people's lives." Alessandre put in, slyly insulting Wisthera while her boyfriend the warrior was distracted.
Both Opalbane and Onyxbane left off questioning Wisthera and stared at Alessandre.
"Maybe she's your girlfriend Onyxbane," Alessandre defended himself, "and is going to make you an auntie Opalbane, but she's still my enemy. I refuse to be friendly towards you, you lying, heartless harpy witch!" Alessandre's began walking toward Wisthera, but Onyxbane put his naked palm flat against Alessandre's chest.
"Don't talk to my girlfriend like that." The warrior warned.
"You call that a girlfriend?" Alessandre smirked. Onyxbane's mouth opened in mute shock. He balled his free hand into a fist, and brought it around…
"Stop it, everyone! Please!" Wisthera pleaded and stepped imbetween Onyxbane and Alessandre. "This is all my fault… please, just let me explain. Alessandre, you have a good reason to hate me. In fact, everyone here does, especially Onyxbane. But he forgave me for that back in Silithus." Wisthera sighed unhappily. "I'm hoping that once I tell you what's really going on here, the two of you will forgive me also. We're practically family now… this is not the way to start our lives together."
"Hello? My girlfriend's brother just tried to kill me. I don't think that makes us relatives, but more like the opposite." Alessandre began to complain but Opalbane narrowed her eyes at him.
Wisthera took a deep breath, and started talking. "Five months ago, I met a man named Onyxbane, who I fell head over heels in love with, though I wasn't supposed to. It turned out that he was hunting the con artist who got his sister into trouble with the Stormwind Guard and he had no idea I was the woman he was looking for. And… it also turned out that he left me with child after that first night we spent together." Wisthera couldn't help smiling. "I'm glad I found out after we had our Wreathe Day. I certainly wasn't ready for the news until then, when I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my dear Onyx."
Onyxbane couldn't help smiling himself.
"Anyways, I later got thrown into jail and then tried in Darnassus for conning his sister Opalbane out of a lot of money over the last ten years. Priestess Feathershine was my jailor at the time, and she dragged me all over the world to look for the woman I wronged to make up for it. Two months ago, right around the time that you were hired Alessandre, my sentence finally ended and I was allowed to go and live with the love of my life. I suppose that most of you here know that part about my life already… the part you don't know is what happened when Onyxbane and I finally got home."
Alessandre rolled his eyes. "I really don't want to know what you do in the privacy of—"
"I felt really guilty about hurting my boyfriend's sister, so I set this whole thing up."
Alessandre stopped short. Opalbane shared a look with her brother, but Onyxbane just shrugged that it wasn't his fault.
"There is no way," Alessandre started to say.
"Alessandre, did you really believe it when Master Rogue Shadowstep summoned you to Darnassus about two months ago? I mean, could you really believe that he had a dream job waiting for you?"
Alessandre did not want to answer this. "Well, after you ruined my career back in Thelsamar, I didn't expect him to even consider me. But it's not like I'm completely incompetent—"
"No, you're not incompetent. You are a very capable agent. I know that better than anyone else because I was the one who had to sift through all your careful layers of secrecy in order to expose your investigation at Thelsamar. Back then, King Magni Bronzebeard hired you to do the most important work that could ever be done for the Dwarves in Ironforge. King Bronzebeard is wise. He chose you well. I was the one who leaked the secrets of the Maker's Terrace and destroyed his well-founded trust in you."
Wisthera rubbed her belly in idle circles as she continued. "I made it look like you couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it, ensuring that no sane spymaster would ever hire you for decent work again. Now, don't you dare think I did any of this because I felt I owed you any favors. I did all of this for Opalbane. When Onyxbane was forced to leave Stormwind and the Human lands because my bad reputation in the courts would not allow us to live there, he felt terrible about leaving his sister behind and alone. Onyxbane had a year-long Wreathe Day commitment to honor with me, but Ashenvale was the only place we could live. Then, I felt twice as guilty because Opalbane went to Silithus after my ten-year con fell through. That she was stuck recovering in Stormwind was mostly my fault. I wanted to do something nice for her."
Wisthera began to pace and ended up standing next to Opalbane. "I'm sorry if it seems crude, Opal, but in my book, the greatest gift you can give a woman is a good lover. Though I hadn't tested him out myself, I knew that the best Kaldorei lover in all of Azeroth was a rogue named Alessandre: someone that I did not know well enough to ask any favors of, though I did have enough dirt on him to manipulate him into doing what I wanted."
Alessandre scowled. "Wisthera, this is ridiculous even for you. Is your ego so big that you're even going to claim that you made Opalbane and I fall in love? And what about Feathershine and the Master Rogue himself? They would never do what you wanted of them."
Wisthera smiled sadly. "Yes, Priestess Feathershine and Master Rogue Shadowstep are two people at the top of a long list of my enemies. They loathe me, and would never agree to help me get you and Opalbane in bed."
Opalbane blinked at her brother. Onyxbane looked around, as if he didn't know what Wisthera was talking about.
Wisthera patted Opalbane's shoulder. "Opal, forgive me for saying this, but you are three years older than your brother and before Alessandre came into your life you hadn't even kissed a man before. To put it nicely, you were heading to spinsterhood in a handbasket."
Opalbane started to object, but then she shrugged. "You'd be right about that." She conceded.
Wisthera smiled. "When Priestess Feathershine wrote to Onyxbane two months ago and asked him to suggest a warrior friend as a bodyguard for Opalbane, I saw my in. Of course Feathershine couldn't know that Alessandre was my suggestion, but if I got Onyxbane to go along with it, she would never have to know that it was my idea. Once one of her beloved children convinced Feathershine to hire Alessandre, she'd be tough as nails for Shadowstep to go against. Shadowstep would of course be wary of Feathershine's suggestion. However, the Master Rogue would recall the rumors about my ruining Alessandre's career in Thelsamar and become enamored with the prospect of getting me back for ruining his assignment to investigate the cultists in Silithus…" she paused for emphasis, "by giving my failed Twilight Cultist assignment to my number one enemy in the Kaldorei Rogue Network: Alessandre."
It was certainly a mouthful. Everyone in the garden waited for Wisthera to catch her breath.
"So you see, I played into Shadowstep's hatred of me to get Alessandre hired because I knew that the Master Rogue wouldn't pass up an opportunity to get me back for ruining an assignment. Feathershine is pretty easy to maneuver if you can get one of her children to do it. Alessandre would certainly take the job, since with his career in the garbage, he really had no other choice. That left only one problem: convincing Opalbane to give into this excellent lover once he arrived at her doorstep."
"Yes, how did you do that all the way across The Great Sea, from Ashenvale?" Alessandre still did not look convinced.
"Well, Opalbane probably doesn't like me very much, after what I did to her. I would bet good gold that she doesn't trust me either. I was tempted to just rely on Alessandre to do his usual thing and seduce a beautiful woman, but I know from experience that not everyone gets to bed the Alessandre." Wisthera still sounded bitter over missing her chance with the handsome rogue all those months ago. Onyxbane groaned loudly. "I needed someone else, someone that Opalbane trusted completely with her secrets… Onyxbane was out because I don't think that Opalbane would be comfortable talking to her brother about sex—"
"You told Willypearl to write those letters!" Opalbane concluded. "But, how did you ever convince her?"
"I didn't. In fact, if I made the first move, I knew that Willypearl would get suspicious. In fact, she wrote me a nasty letter that was dripping with suspicion and accusations after she found out that your new bodyguard just happened to be an old acquaintance of mine. She almost ruined everything."
Wisthera walked over to stand at Onyxbane's side. "I couldn't tell Willypearl what was going on, because she hates me too. But… I could pretty much guess what she would say if I told you to do something." Wisthera paused, grinning wide at the genius of it all. "I told her how much I hated Alessandre for rejecting me back in Thelsamar. I told her I was burning up with jealousy over it, and that no other woman deserved to have him, and that you Opalbane, shouldn't risk your neck to attract his attention."
"I don't see where you lied about any of that." Onyxbane shrugged.
Wisthera narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend but pressed forward with her story. "Willypearl, I'm sure, told you to do the exact opposite of whatever it is I said. Am I right?"
Opalbane nodded. Wisthera beamed. "I knew I could count on old Willy to get me back. Maybe she won't admit it if you ask her—she's far too nice for that—but she wants to get revenge on me as badly as Shadowstep or Alessandre. Opalbane, I even told you not to go after Alessandre, because I knew that you were upset with me deep down and would be tempted to do the opposite. And to seal the deal--and maybe I got too carried away by going this far--I told Opalbane a few little white lies about Alessandre."
Alessandre's dark blue eyebrows raised at this.
"Don't worry Al. It's just the standard sort of thing, that you're rich and powerful, but needed saving. That's all a woman really needs to know to get interested, at least in the first place. I certainly didn't know anything about you other than the rumors and that you are an excellent rogue. I felt you were trustworthy and honorable… well, you would do the job that Shadowstep put before you. I didn't need to trust you with Opalbane's honor, since I wanted you to take advantage of her."
Opalbane began shaking her head. "I don't understand… this whole thing… you were playing a game with us?" she started to sound upset. "You knew how to make us fall in love?"
Wisthera rested her head on Onyxbane's shoulder and patted her stomach. "Opal, sweetheart, I didn't know that would happen. In all honestly, I just wanted Alessandre to show you a good time so that you'd lighten up a bit. I wanted you to smile for once. Your brother wanted you to start smiling too, and he trusted me with the task. I did ask his permission first you know." Wisthera straightened. "The rest… is just good chemistry, or alchemy, whatever." She waved her hand dismissively. "I mean, just look at the two of you. You are so in love. It's obvious to anyone who sees you together."
"But you were the one who told me to trick Alessandre into giving me his Wreathe. You told me to act like a romancer, just like my brother."
Alessandre's eyes went wide. "Wisthera… you didn't push her into that, did you?"
Wisthera started to look worried. "It's not like it was a lie… Opalbane wanted to sleep with you… she loves you. That much was obvious from her letters."
Alessandre turned his back on all of them. His head bowed, and he covered his hands with his face.
"Al… Al, are you alright?" Opalbane fretted.
Alessandre came and seized Wisthera by the arm. Onyxbane made a move to stop the rogue but his sister made him stay calm. The two siblings watched as their lovers left the garden.
Alessandre forced Wisthera outside and around a private corner, but she broke free of his grasp at the last moment. "If you're mad at me, then fine." She sniped, "But I didn't do this to get back at you, Al. I did it to make Opalbane happy. And it worked."
Alessandre turned to face her. His eyes were wet.
"Do you even know…" it took him some time to control his voice. "The years of pain… ten lifetimes… that one selfless act has brought me the only joy I've felt in a thousand years."
Wisthera got quiet. She had no idea that Alessandre had lived so long. Nor had she ever seen him so overcome with emotion.
"I am indebted to you for bringing us together. I didn't believe you at first but… it makes so much sense. Shadowstep would have never selected me on his own. Of course Feathershine convinced him, and one of her own children would have to convince her… and who else would tell her son about me than someone who knew me well. You are the only one who could have done it. And that Wreathe Day was the most important thing. Do you know that I almost lost her, because I was so afraid to make a committment? If you hadn't pushed Opalbane into demanding love from me… I might have never confessed my true feelings for her."
Wisthera leaned against the wall. "Look, I've obviously upset you. I'm sorry—"
"Sorry? Why would you be sorry? I'm… I'm overjoyed! I found the woman I'd been searching for my entire life." Alessandre's rich voice broke. "How can I ever thank you?"
"Oh, you don't need to do that." Wisthera blushed purple again.
"Yes I do. Does Shadowstep know about this?"
Wisthera shrugged. "He almost found out earlier today, but I distracted him. Onyxbane and I just went and laid low afterwards. We didn't even want to tell your sister what we did. She was supposed to think that she attracted you on her own… I didn't want to say anything—"
"Well why not? What you did was ingenious. Whether you realize it or not, you sensed a great deal more about and Opalbane, myself, and probably all the others when you set the pieces in motion. You have a real knack for manipulating people."
"It's not really a talent. At my trial a few months back, Priestess Feathershine taught me that manipulating people is wrong and—"
"Priestess Feathershine is not a rogue. She doesn't understand that sometimes the darker arts of our profession can do a great deal of good. I hate to say this, but Myrielle and I have a lot more competition for Master Rogue than we first thought. You are incredibly talented, and deserve a chance at the position as well." Alessandre's scratched his goatee, thinking about the possibilities. Then, he smiled. "I am going to tell Shadowstep what you did."
Wisthera cringed.
"Come on, Wisthera. It is the least I can do. It is my dream to become Master Rogue someday, but it is yours too. Any good rogue would want a chance at it, and I'm the best one to tell him. If you did, he'd just think you were bragging." Alessandre looked into Wisthera's eyes. "After all you've done for me Wisthera, I'll be sure to put in a good word for you."
Wisthera bit her lower lip and looked off into the distance. "Dear goddess… thank you Alessandre. That is about the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."
"We're friends now. That's what friends do."
Not able to contain herself any longer, Wisthera hugged Alessandre tight against her. Then, she kissed him on the cheek.
"Now, tell me that I'm pretty."
Alessandre did a double take. This was going exactly the wrong way. "I don't think that's appropriate—"
"Just do it!" Wisthera commanded him. She put her hands on her hips.
"You're… pretty?"
"Like you mean it!"
Alessandre bowed down graciously, then told Wisthera that she was breathtaking. The wily female rogue giggled like a school girl.
"Good. Now we can be friends, with that out of the way. You know, I never got the chance to tell you how much it hurt when back in Thelsamar you looked me over like I was garbage and told me to 'get out of your sight.' That was really mean of you… you really hurt my feelings."
Alessandre raised his eyebrows. He finally understood why Wisthera had been so mad at him.
"I know that I have a problem with my ego. But everyone has their limit, you see." Wisthera explained. "But now that we're friends, and I know you find me attractive, that can be the end of it. I don't have to feel so bad anymore."
"I'm so sorry I was mean to you Wisthera."
"And I'm sorry that I ruined your life… and then was a bit devious while inadvertently saving it… and that I made you grope me just now."
Alessandre looked at her sideways.
"Yes, I planned that too." She winked at him.
Both rogues turned to the sound of their lovers clearing their throats. Onyxbane and Opalbane stood nearby, watching.
"Is everything alright now?" Opalbane worried.
"No, it isn't." Alessandre took cautious steps away from Wisthera. "I'm being treated like a part of this family, but I don't even know if it's official yet. You all interrupted me right when Opalbane was about to—"
"Yes!" Opalbane blurted out. "With all my heart… Oh Al, I love you so much. Of course I will be your wife."
Onyxbane and Wisthera smiled awkwardly as Alessandre embraced Opalbane and they kissed.
"You're next, little brother. Unless you want to create a scandal out of wedlock." Opalbane laughed over Alessandre's shoulder. He hugged Opalbane so tight that he lifted her off the ground. Then, he began to twirl Opalbane around in little circles.
Onyxbane exhaled deeply. "Riiight. Forgot about that. Feathershine will definitely freak out if she finds out Wisthera is giving her a grandchild, and I guess we'd better get married fast before it turns out to be a bastard grandchild. But, evenso… it doesn't change the fact that I'm happy about being a father." He wrapped his arm around Wisthera and smiled down at her.
"If you think I am going to let you steal Alessandre's thunder this evening by making a half-assed proposal of marriage to me, you've got another thing coming." Wisthera raised her eyebrows at Onyxbane.
"Looks like your girlfriend is going to make you work for it, brother-in-law." Alessandre stopped spinning Opalbane in giggling circles and cradled her in his arms. Opalbane held onto Alessandre to keep from getting dizzy off her feet, still laughing delightedly at his playful change of mood.
"Good grief. My brother-in-law is an assassin." Onyxbane suddenly worried.
"That's nothing. My brother-in-law carries an Arcanite Reaper wherever he goes, and he knows just how to use it against me."
Onyxbane chuckled at Alessandre's joke.
"Actually, it is a bit of a problem, Onyxbane. You're going to need to leave the axe home tomorrow, at least."
Onyxbane asked Alessandre why that was. Opalbane and Wisthera looked confused as well.
"Because I'm shipping out for Stormwind the day after tomorrow." Alessandre explained. "That means your sister and I need to get married and fast. No offense, but I won't have any gleaming weapons ruining our wedding portraits."
Opalbane and Wisthera began screaming instantly. "Will you be my maid of honor tomorrow?" Opalbane asked Wisthera.
"We have to pick out a dress!" Wisthera cheered. They clasped hands and began jumping up and down.
Onyxbane patted Alessandre on the back. "You're a braver man than I am." He congratulated his new brother-in-law.
Alessandre sighed, unable to banish all the sadness from his voice. "It isn't the best timing, but it has to be done before I go back to Stormwind. I'll be damned if Shadowstep or anyone else gets imbetween me and my wife." Perhaps Onyxbane should have been more concerned that this assassin he just met was rushing to marry his big sister. But Onyxbane was too happy for her to even consider what could possibly go wrong.
Author's Note:
omfg... the update actually worked. I nearly went crazy there. Well, in the future, you can read updates here on this website or you can check out my personal site and read episodes there if fanfictiondotnet ever lags. I updated my profile with a link to that site if you need it.
Also... Did you think I was really going to give up a chance to write a wedding scene! Eeeee! I'm so excited! Stay tuned…