The Romancer Opalbane
Episode Twenty-Seven: A wedding is no place for a male elf fetish
"It's really her!" the Night Elf giggled. "Hey, can you design something special for my boyfriend?"
The Human mage Willypearl, affianced to paladin Sir Elec Pontier and owner of a trendy and highly successful chain of lingerie stores—the first ever in Azeroth—shrank behind her boyfriend and pulled the wide brim of her fancy cloth hat over her eyes.
The excitable Night Elf woman turned to the tall Human paladin next. "Are you really the Elec? Did she really cheat on you with that Night Elf? Is that Willy's secret?"
It was true. Knight Elec was compelled by his oath as a paladin to forgive innocents. He loved Willypearl a great deal, and had wanted to forgive her two months ago when she told him the news. However, that the Light demanded he not take revenge on people like the homewrecking Night Elf Onyxbane really tried Elec's patience. And recently, Willypearl's affair with the Night Elf had launched her tailoring career, made her dreams come true. Elec did not want to stand in the way of that. Though, it was hard to be a paladin, know the religious codes so well and not find some kind of loophole to revenge. In a spectacular show of passive aggression, Elec spread another rumor to go with the rumors already driving his fiancee's business: He told everyone who asked that though his girlfriend cheated on him and made extra large underwear for her Kaldorei paramour, she'd ultimately left the Night Elf because Elec was the one who actually fit the oversized male lingerie.
He flashed a winning smile at the woman who'd asked. "Why, yes I am." Willypearl frowned at her boyfriend and nudged him in the side.
"Honey, you didn't sneak me away from your family and put off our wedding for a whole month just to come down here and spread more rumors about my old love life, which I told you is over by the way."
Elec ignored Willypearl's warning and shook the young woman's hand. "You owe a visit to your friend Opalbane, and I want closure." he shrugged.
Elec's story about the underwear size wasn't exactly honest, but neither was Elec. Wielding a fiery orange war mace named after an Old God, the paladin was content to exact retribution from that no good home-wrecking Onyxbane elf wherever he went. In time, Elec knew, the rumors would reach the Night Elf's silly long ears and he would live in fear of the day when the better man—and the bigger man—came to make him pay for stealing his girlfriend. Whether or not his vow allowed Elec to actually pursue revenge wasn't for Onyxbane to know.
The woman screamed with delight, then grabbed Willypearl's hand. "My boyfriend is a Draenei! You need to make something to fit him!"she begged.
Willypearl cringed at all the crazy things they shouted at she and her boyfriend. Elec held his position bravely but the mob seemed to draw out all the people in the lonely city of Darnassus. She grabbed the golden-gauntleted hand of Knight Elec and rushed them to the only sanctuary in the city: The Temple of Elune.
A Sentinel standing guard at the Temple entrance gave them a warning look as they rushed inside, and Willypearl became self-conscious instantly. She pulled Elec aside and they slowed to a respectable walk once they got into the temple proper.
"I've never seen so many people here before, Willy." Elec gasped and tapped his girlfriend on the shoulder.
The scene inside the temple was so perfect it might as well have been a dream. Blue starlight rested on the finely dressed guests gathered about the sacred moonwell. Willypearl recognized Priestess Feathershine who stood on the ancient rock ledge. She raised her rose-colored arms, now an intoxicating lavender in this light up over her head. She made a graceful gesture before the crowd. Her bright blue mooncloth robe fairly glowed and she wore a cloth mantle on her shoulders that had slender tiered extensions, like wings. Priestess Feathershine wore a crown of the same and together they made her look like some other-worldly creature, as enchanting and awe-inspiring as a Naaru.
"A priestess of Elune." Elec wondered aloud. His warm chestnut eyes dazzled with awe. Then, with the dignified calm of a paladin, he took the hand of the woman he loved and reverently brought her to the source of the Light.
"We are gathered here today to bless the union of a new couple. Though they are not the first to stand beneath the feet of the goddess in the Temple of Elune, they will join a long tradition of married Kaldorei who came here, seeking the goddess' blessing of their love."
Willypearl wasn't very tall for a Human woman and she struggled to look above the heads of the Night Elves gathered. Who were the bride and groom? Why was Priestess Feathershine marrying them?
"Today, I am pleased to be marrying my own child." Priestess Feathershine smiled so beautifully in the shimmering aqua light of the moonwell, it would have been easy to mistake her for Elune herself. "Some of you here are also priestesses, and you know that many orphans came to the Temple to be raised after the destruction of Felwood." Her expression grew stern. "There was no justice for the demons in those days, and the banishment of the Burning Legion from this world was hard won, our precious World Tree destroyed by it, our immortal lives ruined. And, it seems, the little children of Azeroth always suffer the greatest of all the losses, whether there is victory or no. Onyxbane and Opalbane were two such babies, come here when their parents were cruelly stolen from this world. You and I raised them. Though they are not our flesh and blood, they are like the children of Darnassus herself, a symbol of what one can do even after such devastation. The boy Onyxbane, now a grown man, is a warrior and an honorable soldier of the Alliance. Today, he is also a father."
Willypearl wasn't sure, but she sensed a hint of disdain in Priestess Feathershine's voice when she said the word 'father.'
"Wait! Onyxbane is a father? When in the heck did that happen, and with whom?" Willypearl blurt out. She couldn't help sounding jealous.
A handful of annoyed Night Elves turned around and shushed her. Elec wouldn't look at his fiancée but his jaw tightened and she felt his strong arm wrap around her waist possessively.
Priestess Feathershine peered over the crowd, trying to find the source of the interruption. When she saw Willypearl, she gave an indulgent smile. "And then there is my dearest foster daughter Opalbane." Priestess Feathershine continued. "Many times, we at the Temple of Elune feared for her life, for she seemed truly lost. Her grief for her murdered parents mired her in inexplicable pain, a hatred for demons so justified but yet so powerful that we hoped it would not consume her. I admit, against my wishes she traveled to Human lands and became a shadowpriestess and left this Temple of Elune behind." Priestess Feathershine's voice became very tender then. "But, if you look upon her now, in her exquisite black dress, the color of Elune's sacred nights, one can see how she turned that thirst for revenge into strength. She understands the light as well as the shadow, and uses both to demand justice of the world. I could not ask for a better recovery for my dearest children. Today, I hope you look at them and see perfect offerings before the idol of the goddess. This is what Elune can do if only you believe with all your heart, if you give your life over to her and pray to the Light to guide you."
"Praise be to the Light." Elec bowed his head reverently with the others. Willypearl was shocked, just shocked. She knew the traditional response to prayers dedicated to the Light, but she could not stop worrying about Onyxbane being a father, and getting married! As the crowd joined Priestess Feathershine in praying aloud the special words, Willypearl could only stare ahead, woodenly. She burned up with jealous fury. Onyxbane could not have possibly taken up with that vile woman…
"May I say a few words, Feathershine?"
A dark cloud passed over Priestess Feathershine's face on hearing Wisthera's voice. Willypearl inhaled a sharp angry breath and pushed in front of Elec to see for herself.
"That harlot!" she swore under her breath.
Wisthera's round belly made it more than obvious that she was the mother of Onyxbane's child. Onyxbane carefully helped her up to the edge of the moonwell so that she could address the crowd.
"She's a bit far along, don't you think so, Willy? Perhaps you're getting upset for no reason." Elec raised an eyebrow at his seething fiancée. Elec was very good at judging people in an instant, making them realize where they went wrong. But there was also spite in his voice. The scandal was finally getting to the patient paladin. Willypearl felt terrible for letting her old feelings for Onyxbane get the best of her in his presence. She apologized to her fiancée but Elec only grunted.
Wisthera patted her round belly before she spoke. "I've known Opalbane for most of her life. I got a little ahead of the ceremony for cutting you off Priestess Feathershine, before you could invite people to give the couple a blessing… but I wanted to be the first to say congratulations."
"It's Opalbane getting married!" Willypearl looked up at Elec, relieved. Elec glared back at her.
"For ten years, I conned Opalbane out of gold, true friendship, potions, you name it. Yes, I did deliver the Archmage's ring to her, but I demanded payment for too many years after. I told myself that I was giving her peace of mind in exchange, and that sort of thing was priceless so it was alright to scam her. But, Priestess Feathershine taught me I was wrong to do it. When I tricked Opalbane into wearing the Archmage's ring I set her down a dark path, that eventually led to Silithus and a lot of heartbreak for those who loved her. And now, by a lucky twist of fate, I am one of those people. I am so grateful that Priestess Feathershine took me along to save Opalbane… I don't know what I would have done if she didn't make it. For one thing, my baby might not ever know his father if Onyx and I couldn't reconcile. I would completely understand if he never wanted to speak to me or have anything to do with me again if I caused his sister to be lost forever. I thank Opalbane and her mother, and their whole family for teaching me about respect and the value of truth. I'm so glad that I'm going to be a part of the clan now."
Beside Wisthera, Priestess Feathershine obviously forced a smile. The Priestess' fists were balled up so tight at her sides, she looked like she might turn and knock Wisthera in the face at any moment.
"Oh, and for the groom." Wisthera's cocky con artist smile returned. Willypearl started to worry about where this was going. "I learned about Alessandre five months ago, around the time this baby was conceived." Priestess Feathershine turned on Wisthera then, but before she could flip out and strike the woman, Master Rogue Shadowstep expertly picked the majestic Priestess of Elune up by the waist and set her down very romantically from the stage. She blushed a deep purple as he wrapped a bold arm around her. Everyone in the crowd gasped and began mumbling that the rumors about the Master Rogue and the Priestess of Elune were true, but Wisthera cleared her throat for silence.
"As I was saying, Al is a pretty sexy guy, and anyone who sees him knows it. I wasn't one of the lucky women who got to experience him firsthand, but there are more than enough rumors to convince me that Opalbane is probably the luckiest woman on the face of Azeroth. Well…" she amended quickly, "Next to myself, because I adore my baby's daddy."
Priestess Feathershine groaned loudly at hearing such crude language used. As if the scandal of having a child out of wedlock wasn't bad enough.
"But, all in all, Al is a very lucky man to have Opalbane for a wife. I can't think of a better fit for an uptight shadowpriestess than a freak and lecher like him. I can't wait until they move to Ashenvale, near Onyxbane and me. I'm sure that it's going to be very entertaining to have those two as neighbors. Good luck to the happy couple!" Wisthera cheerfully waved to a hesitant crowd that half-clapped at her speech only to ease the disturbed silence that filled the temple.
Priestess Feathershine asked if anyone else would like to speak. Onyxbane ascended the moonwell. He looked very handsome in his three piece tuxedo. Ever a Human-lover at heart, he was the one Kaldorei so unusually dressed. He bowed uncomfortably, and said a brief 'congratulations to Al and my sister.'
Then silence. Opalbane was never the kind of person to have many friends, and it became clear that most of the people in the audience were there because the Temple of Elune was a public place and they'd been curious about the wedding. Elec exhaled a patient breath as he waited for Willypearl to work up the courage to go before all the Night Elves who'd turned her life into a confusing though profitable mess. No matter what, Opalbane was her friend and Willypearl certainly owed her an apology. Finally, Elec decided that he would bring his girlfriend to justice if she was too afraid to meet it herself. The paladin grabbed his fiancée's arm and dragged her to the moonwell.
"Willy!" Onyxbane startled when he saw his ex-girlfriend. Already comfortable in her self-made fortune and the rich family she was about to marry into, the awkward farm girl from Westfall had been transformed into a noble woman seemingly overnight. She wore a striking scarlet dress complete with a matching embroidered bodice, lace sleeves and gold fringed traveling cloak.
Alessandre stood nearby, holding his new wife's hand. "That's your friend, Moonlily?" he whispered to Opalbane. Opalbane looked shocked to see the Human woman too. The shadowpriestess wore a mooncloth robe similar to her mother's except that it had obviously been dyed black. It allowed the woman to be darkly beautiful the way she was, as a priestess of the shadow. Opalbane's feral markings around her eyes and over her cheeks matched the dress perfectly. A wreathe of large white roses and tiny black ribbons crowned the priestess' head and made the long simple braid she always wore look sweet and innocent, almost girlish save for the womanly dress. The dyed black mooncloth robe and wreathe caused Opalbane to look both alluring and incredibly dangerous. Alessandre was handsome in a black and gold festival suit. As he watched the recent Human celebrity ascend the makeshift dais, Alessandre kissed Opalbane's hand possessively. To Willypearl, it felt like a warning. It dared her to say the wrong thing, to continue acting like someone who was not his wife's friend.
Willypearl got the message loud and clear. Knight Elec watched his fiancee carefully as she worked up the courage to speak. Her best friend had been in a great deal of trouble, and she was only just now showing up at Opalbane's wedding by accident. And, this was also the worst possible time to observe that Wisthera had been exactly right about Opalbane's new husband. He was the sexiest male Night Elf she had ever seen. Seeing both the handsome Onyxbane and the gorgeous Alessandre standing mere inches from each other made Willypearl's old fetish flare up anew. Various new underwear designs flew through her head. However dignified the lingerie designer tried to appear, her knees went weak.
Willypearl cleared her throat nervously. "Um, well... maybe first I should–"
"The Pontier family is proud to extend its blessing on the friend of my betrothed." Elec interceded on Willypearl's behalf. He hugged his fiancée close with one arm, and raised the other over the crowd. Willypearl worried that his gesture felt cold. "Ten generations of loyal paladins are happy to extend a blessing on such noble people through me this day." Elec announced in his booming voice. Faint blue light rose up around Opalbane and Alessandre as he gestured. Elec opened his palm to the sky, beneath the statue of Elune and the magic of the Light filled him up. Then, he thrust out his hand and the ring of pulsating blue around Opalbane and Alessandre rose higher and higher, strengthening and almost singing with the harmony of powers Elec called down from the heavens to bless them. Finally, it coalesced over the heads of the couple sparkling in a shape of an opened book before fading from view.
Everyone gathered in the temple looked up at Elec, awestruck.
"If you don't mind," Elec glanced at Priestess Feathershine. She nodded eagerly for him to finish the service. "May all the kings of the Alliance look down upon you and bless you with their wisdom and strength. Now you make kiss the bride."
Alessandre turned to Opalbane and lovingly caressed the side of her face. Everyone waited for that fateful kiss, the sacred act that would seal the deal now and forever.
"Moonlily, I'm sorry." Alessandre paused. "I need to tell you—"
But Opalbane would not have any more delays. She reached up, wrapped her arms around Alessandre's neck and kissed him fiercely. She pulled him onto his knees and they knelt on the floor of the temple together, kissing and groping each other like teenagers until Onyxbane reached down and yanked Alessandre up by the arm and set him firmly on his feet.
"Sorry about that." Alessandre laughed, and Onyxbane's embarrassment faded when he saw his brother-in-law's jubilant face.
"I think I called the wrong person a freak." Wisthera mumbled as she passed the newly wed couple. She raised an eyebrow at Opalbane. "Oh! Can someone please get me some cake? Where is the reception again?" she then asked loudly and rubbed her belly.
The guests began to leave. Up on the moonwell, Willypearl hugged her Elec and thanked him for making peace with her old friends and saving the day.
"Every man is tempted by something, aren't they? No need to apologize to me about Onyxbane, love…" but Elec was grimacing the whole time he said it. "Or that Alessandre fellow just now... or your entire career choice." he frowned darkly. Willypearl didn't believe that her paladin boyfriend really felt in a forgiving mood, eventhough his training caused him to dole it out automatically. Her hesitation before Onyxbane and the others seemed to evoke the exact opposite reaction in Elec. "Where's my mace?" Elec suddenly said, coming out of his daze. He dry-washed his hands feverishly and sounded half-mad. "I think I need to talk to that prancing, homewrecking male elf…"