Author note: Hi guys you probably all hate me because I have taken so long to update. More on this at the end. But for now enjoy our next class with our favorite Potion Master.
I settled into my seat at my desk once we got back from lunch. Granger was wandering aimlessly around the classroom her lip between her teeth obviously she was thinking about something. Shaking my head I went back to the papers in front of me dividing them between Granger and myself. This quietness was something that I once was so used to now it was glaringly obviously and something I couldn't stand.
"What are you thinking about- Hermione?" I felt a hiccup in my speech as I forced myself to call her by her first name. But even as I said it felt good to have that silence over.
"You going to think it is silly. I was trying to imagine what life would have been like had we not gone through the war. Like you and well everyone." She said after a few moments of quiet. Her eyes catching mine as she came over to the desk placing herself on one of the corners. It still amazed me at her relaxed nature around me.
"Well I wouldn't have this." I started thrusting out my wrist that stigma still on it. "I wouldn't have to force a potion down Albus's throat every three months to help him achieve the length of life he deserved before he so stupidly placed that ring on his hand. But at the same time I might not be standing before you. As the first rise the Dark Lord is what caused my mother to return from her broken state. But that is not my story to tell. The war took much from us all but at the same time it has given us a lot as well." I said with a light shrug of my shoulders as I leaned back into my chair. This was a topic I knew a lot about since I spent most of those first few months I was out of my coma thinking about it.
Granger nodded and then leaned her head back. He throat moving as she swallowed, obviously trying to buy time to think though she didn't need to. "But what would it really be like. Would I have ever even became friends with Harry and Ron? I mean we became friends because they saved me from the Troll. Would you be a single fat-?" Granger faltered as she snapped her head back up her gaze catching mine. Her cheeks growing rosier as she thought about what she had started to say.
"They would have become your friend no doubt. Potter showed that he cared for everyone Weasley may have only for your homework but Potter I have no doubt. As for me the fact I am a single father would have happened anyway. Andi was not one for the family life. I personally knew there was a chance she wouldn't be there one of the times I came back."
Granger nodded and opened her mouth to say something else but at that same moment the classroom door opened and the first years started to pour in. Both houses filed into one side of the classroom or the other neither wanting to be caught near the other. I was tired of the Gryffindor Slytherin battle. The war was over and if we were to fix all that had happened it was time to start with the houses. To end something so driven in to society we had to change how it started, these students would learn they are all the same.
"I see that you have picked your partners but I am going to try something different. Look across the classroom and the person sitting in the desk opposite you is your partner for the year." I stated coolly as I pushed up from my desk rising gracefully. I sent a smirk at a surprised Granger as I swept down the rows watching as kids scurried to follow my directions.
Once the kids had settled once more, this time much more uncomfortably both houses giving the other unsure looks. I started my normal speech and watched the kids. In the far corner was a Slytherin girl her head was whipping back and forth from me to her notebook-which as I moved closer was full of notes in a neat handwriting. This caused me to chuckle- albeit very lightly so as the students couldn't hear- looks like I had another Granger in our midst. After a few minutes I set them loose on their first essay.
I had originally planned for this to help them get used to one another without having to actively talk to or do anything with their partner. But as usual I had forgotten the stigma that befell both of these houses. It was only about ten minutes after I gave the assignment when I heard a yelp from the back corner. Snapping around I looked to see what was going on I saw the same girl from earlier holding her arm her eyes welling with tears.
"Are you alright hunny?" Granger was over there before I could even take a step in that direction. The girl quietly told her what had happened all the while the Gryffindor boy that was her partner was trying to defend himself so I slid over to the desk. The girl raised her eyes to me for a moment then dropped back to the desk.
"What is going on her Miss Granger?" I asked the question to Granger but my eyes was on the raised welt on the small girls arm. It looked uncomfortable so I pulled a salve out of my pocket and opened it. As Granger started to talk I motioned that I was going to put some of the salve on her arm and got to work
"Miss Wedel here said that she was working on her essay when she felt something cold and wet hit her right arm. When she glanced over Mr. Parks had an empty vial in his hand." Granger said as magicked up a long bandage to wind around the girls arm so that the salve could actually work and not get rubbed off as the girl went through her day.
"Mr. Parks why did you have a vial in the first place. You are supposed to be working on an essay and nothing more. Last I checked those required a quill and paper. So I hope you are happy to know you will be the first student serving detention with me this weekend as well as losing your house forty house points." I had to force myself not to snarl as I said it. There was no need to snarl the boy had raised his head and his eyes met mine and I saw a moment of fear cross his face. I glanced away and felt my heart drop. Even now after I had been honored as a hero people were still afraid of me. Even now to these kids I was nothing more than the monster I knew I was deep inside.
"Well Miss. Wedel you look like you will be alright, if it doesn't go down in a few hours you can come back to my office and I will see what I can do." I said addressing the girl who though no longer looked like she was going to cry but now had a semi cold look on her face. No one would understand the pain Slytherins must deal with daily. I nodded softly to Granger and returned to the front of the classroom.
I took up my normal position in the front of the classroom and slowly glanced from one side to the other. Slowly the class returned to their essays' and the silence once more returned. After a few minutes I stalked to my desk and settled into my seat rubbing at my throat as I pulled out the papers I needed to grade. A creak of my desk caused me to look up and see Granger sitting on the edge of my desk. I nodded my head to her and quietly pushed her stack of papers towards her. This was the first lesson she was going to learn, grade when you can during quiet times.
The rest of the class passed uneventful and I had been able to finish my stack of papers, I wasn't used to have so few, and I had spent the rest of the time sliding between the desks watching the students rush to get another inch or so onto their papers. Everyone seemed rushed besides Miss. Wedel and a few other students who were wrapping up their scrolls. The girl was still favoring her arm but from the looks of it she had almost doubled the required writing.
"You are dismissed leave your essays on the desk in the front of the room before you leave." I said coolly as I made my way back to the front of the room where Granger was watching me as she added her stack of papers to my own.
"So that was a lot more intense than I thought it would be." Granger said as she fell into the couch a book in her hand.
After the last student had left I had went straight to the rooms to grab a drink and relax a bit before dinner and the time that I was going to be able to have Emerence back with me. Despite Granger just moving in just recently I wasn't surprised when she spoke- that really meant something since I jumped at just about everything. She spoke quietly and would try to make a noise before she started talking.
"It'll get better, this was something new and it will take some getting used to. I glanced over the grades you gave your papers. You are almost harder on them than I am." I said glancing over the top of my potions weekly. After a few moments we fell into a sporadic conversation as we both read through our book, she had her own potion book and I mine so that is what most of the conversation was about, that and the classes we had all day, till she drifted off.
I jumped to my feet when I heard the light knock on the door around a half an hour later and I quickly hurried to the door so that whoever was there wouldn't wake Granger. Taking a deep breath I pulled open the door and my mother- who was holding a squirmy Emerence- stood on the other side and behind her I also saw Minerva who looks like she was in the middle of a conversation with my mother. I took the offered Emerence and then ushered them both into the room.
"Hermione, Minerva and my mother are here." I called out hopefully loud enough to wake her up, without unnerving her of course. I bounced Emerence on my hip and felt a wave of happiness wash over me as she giggled happily pulling at my shirt. Once I came into the living room I was pleased to see that Granger was up and looking at me.
"Oh Severus we were here just to discuss who would be taking Emerence over the next few days." Minerva said her eyes shining softly as she glanced from me to my mother. Right my mom had quite a few very volatile potions that she had to compete for a few contracts, something a small baby shouldn't not be around. Which meant she wouldn't be able to watch Emerence.
"By the look on your face Minerva you are hoping that I ask you. As I have said several times I would gladly have you and Albus watch Emerence while I am teaching." I said softly as I sat down with Emerence cuddling her to me even though she just wanted to play with her toys.
"It will probably also make him a little less anxious knowing she is in the castle. He has been so jumpy all day." Hermione added from her seat a few feet away and I threw her a glare that I knew held none of the usual coldness. It was true though I thought I hid the anxiety well apparently I hadn't.
"Well then tomorrow is my easy day so Albus would only have to watch her for an hour or two. Which is probably good for all of us that man spoils this girl like no one's business." Minerva said as she tickled Emerence's small stomach causing a whole new wave of giggles.
A few small conversations followed, My mother and I talked about how our days went and she told me about how Emerence got her out of having tea with one of her neighbors- 'she started to bawl as soon as we got there and didn't stop till we left'- and Granger and Minerva chatted about when they would have tea.
After my mother and Minerva finally left I fell into the chair next to Granger who was curled up on the couch grading essays. I grinned to her for a moment and then pulled out the vials from one of the classes earlier and begun to grade them on a pass fail was one of the few times I was rather glad to have an apprentice, the amount of work for a potion master was double the other classes, as it like all subjects would have a few essays but it also involved the actual act of potion making which I would of course have to grade. So being able to half it eventually would make it easier on me as well as give me more time with Emerence, as now I would only grade in the evening when she was asleep.
This is how it went for the next month. We would have classes, occasionally I would allow Hermione- as this is what she became to me as the time passed- to teach a lesson or two. We would retire to the rooms we shared to play with Emerence at the end of the day then once she was down we would grade work. As much as I didn't want to admit it, she was wonderful with Emerence and there were several time she had woken and taken care of her before I was even able to pull myself out of bed and into her room. But it had become such a ritual between the two of us that a part of me was finally starting to get more comfortable and happy to have her.
A few weeks before Halloween came around my mother came while I was out, Hermione had offered to watch Emerence while I did a short shopping trip to Knockturn alley, and her story mostly came from the memory she showed me after the fact. I personally was surprised by this, as I had learned she- like me- was a very private person and this surprise happened until the end of the memory.
There was a light knock at the door and I watched as Hermione stood and placed the simple protection charm around Emerence as she played in the middle of the room. She then nervously made her way to the door and pulled it open to reveal my mother standing there with a small smile on her face.
"Eileen hi Severus isn't here right now but he should be back in a little bit you can come in and wait with me and Emerence if you want." She said after a few moments and I smiled as I watched, Hermione was one of the few people who were not nervous around my mother.
"Oh that is fine I actually wanted to talk to you a little if that is alright." My mother said as she walked in with Hermione and closed the door softly behind her. This surprised me- yes- Hermione and my mother had started a small friendship but they weren't one to have a chat over tea.
After the two settled in, with Emerence sitting on my mother's lap playing with the color changing bracelet on her wrist. "Severus loves Halloween it's his favorite holiday if you didn't know. When he was little I would hide a little money over time to get him a costume so he could go out with his friend." My mother started and looked at Hermione, whose face had a masked look of curiosity for a moment. "I know that look Severus has given it to me. He is rubbing off on you. But I want you to know."
She stood and placed Emerence on the ground and paced for a moment and for a split second I saw what she used to be when I was little. Her face though now not as thinned and ragged instead plump and had laugh lines from the years after my father had left. Her hair I realized were starting to show the faintest signs of gray at her roots. But still that haunted look I had grown so used to was back for a few moments and then she was back to before.
"Severus had an unhappy childhood as my marriage was strained and his father was a drunk who liked to throw punches. But no matter how bad it got I never saw Severus give up on what he wanted. He is what kept me going. So I felt I owed him," my mother took a deep breath and paced a few more steps, "And all I could give him were those scraps of fabric in whatever he wanted to dress as for Halloween, he went out and was a normal child for once." She smiled sadly her eyes glazing over for a moment and Hermione for the first time ever just sat there quietly
"We went through this till after Severus first year and I watched as the world around me cower in fear of something we didn't know about but that is what made me realize there was too much going on outside of our house to make Severus deal with the same at home. So during one of my husband's drunken nights I slid out of the house with him and returned to my families old home. But even after we got out I never stopped buying him costumes and even as he grew older he still was just as excited to get it as when he was a child." She finished softly and returned to her original seat.
Hermione sat there for a moment her eyes only moving to Emerence as she pulled herself up and started chattering. "Why are you telling me this? I mean I feel honored but it also confuses me slightly." She finally asked her eyebrows knitting together and her lip went between her teeth.
"Because you mean a lot to my son and from what I have seen he means a lot to you. I just thought you deserved to know that about him as well as more about me. You just seem like the person I can share the past with and not have you feel sorry for us." My mother said with a smile as she picked up Emerence. "Anyways I hope you enjoy Halloween because Severus normal does his rooms up all for it. But I hope you have a good day. Bye Bye Em I'll see you later baby" her smile grew larger and then she cuddled Emerence for a moment then placed her down. That is where the memory ends.
When I stepped back from the memory I was in awe. My mother had shared some of the darkest times in her life with Hermione, which was something that I knew was hard for her, and had done it because she cared for me.
As a child I was so happy to see the costume laying out on my bed when I came home from school. Because like she said I could be just like everyone. As I grew older I became more aware of what my mother had to go through to be able to buy it for me. It should have made me hate it but instead it made me love it more fiercely. Her determination to make sure I was like the other kids are what made me stronger and that same determination I saw in Hermione and I think is what drew me to her in the first place.
To my child brain it also made me wonder if my mother could read minds. Because no matter how much I wanted a certain costume I never said it out loud to her. I had too much of a fear that it would stop that I wouldn't get a costume that year. But what I didn't know was that my mother could see my eyes linger on a certain costume, barely a few seconds more than the others. She noticed and she knew what to get.
Then with a sudden debilitating thought. My mother hit it on the head I cared for Hermione, but just how much I never really thought about. That memory made it clear. Hermione was much more important than I ever though there was a tug in my chest but I pushed it away and went back to Hermione. We had a ritual to uphold and I had a new book to read.
Note: I have had a bit of trouble with this story, not in ideas but more so with the abilities of babies. I personally do not know when babies do certain things, I am basically basing it off of different sites. I also know that England is not as big into Halloween as the US but I like the idea of little Severus dressing up. But our older kids will be getting a taste of class next chapter. Thank you everyone for reading reveiwing and favoriting this it gives me such a warm feeling to get notified about it.