Interludes

Chapter 4: Cinder

Author's Note: More full disclosure, this one was not easy to write. Cinder is hard...

Disclaimer: All characters and previous events belong to Marissa Meyer and The Lunar Chronicles

Cinder did her best to emulate Thorne, when she propped her boots on the console in the cockpit. She tucked her folded hand under her chin and did her best to look confident as she stared out the window and into a vast field of stars.

As she got to know her "captain" friend more and more, she realized how completely he flew by the seat of his pants. He was so clueless in most situations, it was actually impressive.

She heaved a heavy sigh through her pursed lips, fluttering stray strands of hair away from her face. Of course, she would never be Thorne. Could never be. That's probably why she was doing all of this to begin with. She cared too much, both about the result of her actions and the cause they were fighting against.

Mankind?

Earth?

Androids?

Cinder rolled her eyes and clasped her fingers in her lap, forcing herself to be herself for just a few minutes. The inside of her head was more dangerous than ever. It was a whirring tornado of ideas, fear, bravery, and in indisputable amount of computer-driven rationality. It was turning out to be quite the buzzkill.

Even now, her vision targeted stars and planets and flashed mileage and statistics over her eyes. Fortunately, for now, Luna wasn't visible from the cockpit. She didn't really want to consider how close or far they were from the ghostly moon.

A blinking red light in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and then she heard him before she saw him. Her sensors were alerting her to an increased heart rate before she felt two hands settle lightly on her shoulders. They squeezed gently, soothingly and she melted.

"Hey," Kai said, leaning close to her ear. She felt the scratch of stubble from his chin on her cheek and bit her lips to hold back a grin.

"Hi."

His hands lingered on her shoulder as he walked around her and sat in the opposite chair. "You doing okay in here?"

For being a kidnapped emperor, Kai had taken very quickly to the "revolutionary" life. It was easy to forget their different lives, and remember the boy in the hoodie who'd come looking for her in the market. She supposed that she was the reasoning behind his calm demeanor. If anyone else had kidnapped him, it was a sure bet that he would be putting up a fight. Thoughts about destiny and fate floated through her mind and she waved them away.

"Yeah," Cinder sighed eventually. She watched him for a second as he marveled at the view out the large window. His dark brown eyes were sparkling in the starlight. He looked back at her after a moment, and smirked.

"You planning on changing course?" he asked, mirroring her position and propping his boots next to hers on the console. He nudged her foot with his toe.

She smiled at their feet before answering. "I'm trying to get inspiration from Thorne."

Kai scrunched his nose. "From Thorne?"

"He never has any idea what he's doing, and yet he's so confident. I need that."

The lay in silence for another few beats as their eyes followed a tiny flashing satellite across the sky. Eventually, he lifted his legs off the console and leaned forward. His hair flopped over his forehead. "Confidence doesn't mean much when it comes down to it," he said. "I would know."

Cinder pursed her lips to the side before reached for one of his hands with her robotic one. Kai didn't hesitate before taking it in both of his. He squeezed her thin, dirty fingers between his own.

"I don't know what to do anymore," she admitted in a near whisper. Her voice shook in the near darkness of the room.

Kai lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. "What can I do?"

A tiny, fluttering sigh tugged on her diaphragm and she closed her eyes to quiet the flashing alerts. "This," she said, before thinking.

She felt another kiss to her fingers, then another. Too afraid to end the moment, she kept her eyes closed tight as Kai rotated her hand in his and pressed a kiss to the smooth expanse of her metal wrist. She gasped and her eyes flew open.

He was smiling when she met his eyes. "Come on, this can't be what the universe really needs."

Kai was joking, of course, but the reminder of reality hit her in the stomach like a punch in the gut. She tried to tug her hand away but he didn't let go. "Oh come on, I was just teasing," he said placatingly, now kissing the top of her hand.

"You're right though," she said, still tugging at her hand.

"Even revolutionary leaders need a few minutes to themselves." He relinquished her hand, only to lean forward and slip his hand around her neck. "Can you spare me a few?"

He was dangerously close now. As her retina display was reminding her, he had been this close several times since their first kiss in the hangar. A fact that even Thorne was reluctant to believe. Ignorant cad. Her eyes lingered on the smooth pink curve of his upper lip and the length of his dark lashes.

She let her eyes fall closed as he pressed his lips to hers. With a flash of pride, she recalled how familiar this felt now. The way he was so gentle with her, as though her machine parts made her fragile, when really her hand could probably crush the bones in his wrist. Eventually, he seemed to remember this, and as he wove his hands into her hair she let him deepen the kiss.

If Thorne caught them in here like this, he would never forgive her or forget. The possibility gave her a bit of trepidation. However, the feel of Kai's lips on her jaw…

"You can't expect me to come up with a plan like this," she said, breathlessly as he dragged his fingertip down her neck.

"I'm just trying to help you relax so you can think of something," he answered, and she could hear the smile in his voice as his lips now kissed where his fingers had been.

"That doesn't make sens-"

This time she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him pull her to the edge of the captain's chair. His careful hands cradled her face as though it was a treasure, and his fingertips drew patterns against the sensitive flesh of her skull. For as much of her life as she could remember, no one had ever touched her so much. She was starved for it, and she had a feeling that Kai would make her some kind of addict.

She fisted the front of his shirt in an attempt to push him back. She really shouldn't tempt fate with someone finding them like this…

"Did I do something?" he asked, eyes looking somewhat dazed.

Cinder dragged her human hand over her face, before brushing her loose hairs away. "No. Just need...break." She laughed before she said, "You're overwhelming."

He cocked an eyebrow. "I've heard that before."

Cinder smacked his arm with her robotic hand, and laughed harder when he clutched it to his chest.

"No slapping the emperor!"

"Oh please," she snorted, waving a hand. "You're our prisoner, we treat you how we like!" As a peace offering, she held out her human hand for him to take. His palm was warm and smooth against hers as he curled his fingers around hers.

"Did that help?" he asked, eventually, mouth pulling into a smile.

"Hardly. I'm still a girl, after all."

He squeezed her hand in response.

"You know, you're the first person to ever really touch me?"

With his other hand, he ran a finger up from her wrist to her elbow. It was just not ticklish. She tightened her grip on his hand. "I was afraid that would be true…"

"People would hand me money, or grab my arm to scan my wrist. I'd brush someone's shoulder on the street or be tripped by some prejudice laser-brain...but not this." She drew in a deep, shaky breath as she felt her system became overcome with emotion. "Your kindness means so much to me Kai. I'm sorry that we had to go through all of this to actually spend time together."

Kai leaned close and brushed a thick lock of hair off her forehead. She could feel his slow and controlled breaths on her cheek. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I ever-"

"No, it's ok. That whole night was such a mess. I can't even imagine what you thought I was."

He waited a moment before he said, "Well, I thought you were beautiful. Does that count?"

Cinder looked down at the ground and tried to fight off a strong-willed smile. "I don't know anymore" She leaned forward to kiss him quickly. "I wish I knew what was going to happen after all of this is over."

Kai laughed bitterly and kissed her cheek once before sitting back in his chair. Their hands were still entwined between them. "Don't even try. I've never been right." He smiled apologetically before adding, "As much as I want things to work out…"

"I know," she nodded, sadly. "I guess that's what I was up here trying to figure out-"

Suddenly a screen on the console beeped. Cinder jumped to her feet and searched frantically for the source of the sound. The chair spun wildly behind her. Her heart rate spiked, her body flooded with adrenaline. Had they been seen, had they been targeted?

Kai pointed towards a small screen closest to Cinder. "There."

She peered down at the message eagerly. "Incoming D-COMM from Artemisia Palace. Press [y] command to accept."

"Stars," Cinder breathed, heart shuddering in her chest. "How? Who could send us a direct comm? No one has been on the ship since-" She gasped and dropped to the floor.

Kai stood up in alarm. "Who?"

Cinder fished around under the console to find a chip slot. She pushed aside coiled snakes of wire and cords until she found it. A lunar chip, just like the one that had led her to Cress. She felt her fear flow quickly into elation. "Jacin!" she cried, jumping to her feet.

"Who?"

"The palace guard. Levana's guard. He was on our ship, and we thought on our side."

She keyed in the yes command and accepted the comm. With wide eyes and high hopes, she watched the text on the small screen disappear, before new text took its place. One by one, bright green letters flashed on the screen.

She's alive. Safe for now. More soon.

As quickly as they'd come, they disappeared.

"Who's safe?" Kai asked, pressing his body behind hers. "Levana?"

"Scarlet," she sighed, feeling relief so strongly, her knees buckled. "I have to tell Wolf."

"How is she alive?"

"Does it matter?" Cinder grabbed his hand for balance. "He's still with us. I thought for sure he had been lying the whole time." Without another word, she headed off towards the crew quarters. "I have to tell him."

"Tell who?" she heard from close behind her. Kai's footsteps echoed her own.

Her throat was knotted tightly as she said, "Wolf."