A/N: Hi there! Sorry for not updating frequently. I got a few good questions about the story, some on AO3 and some on here, so I'll acknowledge them both:
Someone asked if only reading the Clexa plotline and skipping the Camp Jaha story would be confusing for them- I totally understand, I was originally planning on just writing Clexa, but I wanted the story to sort of follow the way the tv show would be. Obviously the two plots will come together, but when they do, no, you shouldn't be too confused, you would just be reading more from the perspective of everyone at Polis :)
A lot of questions were about Thomas being the commander's second- those will be answered in the story soon!
Happy Friday(ish) and enjoy :)
Clarke felt completely calm.
Her body was no longer numb, the pain in her right leg wasn't throbbing as harshly, her head wasn't spinning. She felt completely relaxed. She felt safe. She never wanted to open her eyes. She didn't know where she was, or what was going on, but she knew it was more than likely a dream, a good one, and that she should enjoy it while it lasted.
The only pain she felt was the ache in her back from whatever she was lying on. Clarke shifted slightly to get comfortable.
"Em don kik raun."
Clarke's eyes popped open in utter panic. Grounders. Her eyes scanned the room she was in-wooden cabinets, small bottles, knives-until they landed on two shapes next to her. Oh, God.
"Beda osir ge Heda?"
Heda. I didn't imagine seeing Lexa. It actually happened.
Wait- she really kept me alive. Why?
"No- she is meeting with clan leaders right now."
Clarke let her eyes focus on the shapes until she could make out two grounders. One was an older woman. She had curly short grey hair and a heavily wrinkled face. Clarke was bewildered at the sight-she had never seen an older grounder before. She wouldn't have even known the woman was a grounder if it weren't for the tattoos on her thin arms. The woman made eye contact with Clarke, and Clarke immediately noticed the woman's vibrant blue eyes. The woman gave a warm welcoming smile.
The other grounder was a large, bulky, younger man. He almost looked like the grounder Clarke had met in the woods, if it weren't for his longer hair and a distinct scar across his cheek.
"Hello, Clarke," Clarke didn't realize she was staring until the male grounder spoke to her.
Clarke sat up on what she now noticed was a wooden table, which would explain why her back was aching, "How do you know my name? Why do you have me here- where am I?" The questions couldn't come out of Clarke's mouth fast enough.
"You're in Polis," The grounder replied. He turned his back to Clarke and moved from the table to begin putting the small bottles back into the large cabinets on the wall, "And you're alive," He nodded towards Clarke's leg, "You're welcome."
Polis…Lexa brought me here. Clarke ran her hand over her bandaged calf. Why would she care enough to have her healers keep me alive?
"I wouldn't touch that if I were you," the grounder called over his shoulder, "I wouldn't walk on it either. It needs to heal."
Of course, as soon as the grounder said that Clarke pushed herself off of the table, ignoring the throbbing pain that shot though her leg as her feet hit the wooden floor. The large grounder turned to face Clarke, obviously irritated, "Heda said she was stubborn."
Clarke tried to ignore the fact that Lexa warned the healer about her resistance to receive help. Of course she would know to warn them, of course I would be stubborn. She betrayed me.
Lexa.
"I need to see your commander."
The large grounder, completely unmoved by Clarke's words, continued putting away the bottles, "The commander is busy."
Clarke slowly moved towards the grounder, feeling a bit too confident to be arguing with a man three times her size, "I guess I'll just leave then."
"You can't. The commander ordered us to make sure you were completely healed before-"
"Your commander abandoned an alliance with my people and left us-"Clarke could feel herself spitting out her words, her voice was cracking, "-Left me... to die. Her orders mean nothing to me."
The grounder's face twisted with anger, he closed the gap between Clarke and himself, "It's not personal. You're a pretty brave girl, disrespecting my commander in our capital. After I just saved your life."
Clarke's face didn't crack, she made sure every word was perfectly clear, "It's personal to me."
The grounder moved closer to Clarke. She could've sworn she heard him growl. Her hand immediately went to her side, ready to pull out her gun- only it wasn't there. Clarke tried to keep panic from showing on her face as she looked down and saw an empty holster on her side. They took my gun.
"Where's my gun?" Clarke managed to let out. Her confidence was slowly fading.
"We took your weapon. To make sure you wouldn't try anything. Like your friend-"
"Mason! Pleni!" The older woman's voice from the other side of the room surprised both the grounder and Clarke, "Just follow the commander's orders, please."
Mason followed the woman's request, but his eyes never left Clarke's. He continued to stare Clarke down for a few more seconds before calling out,"Thomas!"
Thomas… that sounded familiar.
A young grounder appeared at the entrance of the small room. The same grounder who was with Lexa when she met Clarke in the woods. Was he standing out there the whole time?
"She is awake," Mason said to the boy. Clarke's head was spinning. What?
Thomas nodded and turned to Clarke, "Come with me, Clarke."
Clarke didn't move. She really didn't know what to do, or who to trust. Should I make a run for it?
"You can leave now, Clarke," Mason added, anger still in his voice.
Clarke's eyes darted across the room, ignoring Mason and Thomas' impatient looks. She made eye contact with the older woman, who simply gave a comforting faint smile and a nod.
"Okay," Clarke muttered, and followed Thomas out of the healer's room.
Clarke squinted as the sun's rays hit her eyes when they walked outside of the hut. As her eyes adjusted, she saw long stone paths in the ground, and groups of grounders following them, carrying large animals, pulling horses, holding large barrels of plants, and pulling wheelbarrows with what seemed to be medical supplies and weapons. Across the roads, Clarke could see small tents that grounders were constantly moving in and out of, everything seemed so frantic.
"What's going on? Is this all there is to Polis?" Clarke looked around, searching for a place where she could escape. There were way too many people here.
"No," Thomas answered, "You haven't even really seen Polis yet. These are back roads, in the outskirts of Polis. Our hunters and gatherers move out here, this is how they get to the woods without disturbing the busy streets. They sleep in these tents for days to get our food and raw materials. The commander also uses these roads when she gets in and out of Polis. She doesn't like grand entrances. Doesn't really like the attention-"
"Where is your commander?"
Thomas looked up at Clarke and realized Clarke wasn't really interested in having a conversation about Polis.
"I know you know where she is," Clarke pressed.
Thomas turned and began walking down the street. Clarke quickly followed.
"Thomas," Clarke called out. Thomas was surprised that Clarke remembered his name, "Please tell me. I want to speak with her."
"You want to kill her. Or run away. Or both," Thomas answered, staring forward to avoid the shocked look on Clarke's face. She was speechless.
"I-"
"I heard you asking Mason for your gun, you were going to use it. You wouldn't have one if you weren't going to use it. You were going to use it on him. You were going to use it on me in the woods," Thomas continued to walk, his speed picking up, forcing Clarke to move faster. The stress on her right leg made her limp, "You're people have guns to use on us."
"You had a knife. I thought you were going to kill me-"
"I wanted to help you and you pushed me away. What made you think I was going to kill you?"
"I don't need help."
"Really?" Thomas motioned to Clarke's leg, "You would have died out there and the commander helped you," Thomas moved faster, "And you want to kill her."
Clarke tried to study Thomas' face. He was angry, confused almost. She wondered if he knew what happened at Mount Weather. She wondered, just for a second, what the world looked like from his eyes. You burned 300 of their men alive. An entire village was massacred. They probably see you the same way you see them.
"Thomas," Clarke grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop.
"The commander is meeting with the leaders of the clans right now. And I have my orders," Thomas pulled away from Clarke.
"I'm not going to kill her, Thomas. I'm not going to kill anyone," Clarke felt herself get choked up, "I can't kill anyone."
She knew she had to say it. Not for Thomas' sake, but for her own. As much as she knew there were people back at the Ark that would kill Lexa without even thinking, and as much as she knew she should probably feel the same way, she knew she couldn't. At this moment, it had nothing to do with forgiveness or understanding. It had everything to do with the fact that too many people have died at her hand, and that she couldn't close her eyes without seeing each one. Clarke couldn't take another life.
Not after everything that has happened.
Thomas probably thought she was lying. She wouldn't be surprised. "Why should I trust you, Clarke?"
"What am I gonna do? I don't have a weapon- I don't have anything, Thomas. I just need to talk to her-"
"Why?"
"I…"
That was a good question. Why do I want to speak to her so badly? Why do I need to see her again? After everything, after Finn, after the missile, after the kiss, after Mount Weather, why do I want to see Lexa after she worked so hard to gain my trust, and then betray me? Why?
Then it hit her. The exact question was her answer. She needed to know why. She needed to know what was going through Lexa's mind. Why Lexa was so quick to leave Clarke at Mount Weather, but also quick to bring her to Polis to keep her alive. Clarke just needed answers, she needed the truth, she needed…
"I need closure."
Thomas just stared at her, probably trying to find the real face behind the mask of emotions she was currently wearing. When he couldn't find one, he sighed, "Okay."
A/N: Consider this part one of this chapter, expect part two very soon! Thanks for reading, and thank you to those who review/comment. It means a lot :)
-Off2Polis