Title; I breathe in (You breathe out.)
Pairing; Bo/Lauren.
Part 4; Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while.
...
November comes with a kind of cold Bo has never felt before and for some reason, her only fear is that the blonde will stop turing up at three am and her life will go back to, whatever her life was before she had three am to look forward to.
But it doesn't happen because everyay, like clockwork, she's always there.
And everytime Bo sees her, she lets out a releived sigh.
...
"Blondie!"
She's breaking protocal, she knows. It's been a month and they rarely ever call each other. They just turn up at their windows and hope that the other will do the same.
But today is special and she figures they can make an exception this once.
"Blondie!"
"It's really rude to adress me by the colour of my hair." She appears and Bo's smile goes supernova just from the sight of her and the news bubbles inside her, begging to be released.
"I got it!" She yells, "I got the job."
Her face is blank for a moment, then she breaks into a smile that makes Bo feel warm despite the cold.
"Are you serious?"
Bo nods happily.
"Wait, " she pauses her celebrations for a bit, "which one did you get?"
"The assistant one. The one you made the initial call for. I know it's not a lot but-"
The blonde shakes her head, cutting her off, "don't do that. Don't diminish your acheivement. You wanted something and you went for it and I am so proud of you. Seriously."
For some reason, that makes Bo happier than even getting the job did.
...
With Bo's new job and having normal working hours like a normal human being, their meeting time changes.
It's earlier and it lasts longer and Bo absolutely loves it.
...
"Have thanks giving dinner with me." She blurts out after days of thinking and thinking about it.
The blonde's eyes widen. "I uh- I-"
"Unless you have plans in which case-"
"I don't have plans."
"Then...?"
"I just-"
"You don't have to come to my place or anything." She tries fixing quickly. To make it less of a commitment. Because if there's one thing she knows about this woman, is that she doesn't let people in that easily. She hasn't even told her her name for god's sake. "We could- we could get a board!" She presents it like it's a brilliant idea. "We'll place it between the windows like a table and we'll place the food on it and everything and you can have thanks giving dinner from the comfort of your house. With me." She finishes with an unsure voice.
For a moment, she wonders why she has to be so damn stupid. But then the blonde is nodding. "Okay. Let's do that."
...
They make a list of food they'll cook and things they'll buy and who will cook what. They both cook at the same time in their seperate kitchens while talking about Bo's new boss who's a pain in the ass and the blonde's research which is trying to give her grey hair.
The blonde puts one music and starts humming to it and Bo smiles, soft and gentle. "What?"
"Nothing." She lies, "I just like that song."
They cook while listening to Elton John's 'Can you feel the love.'
...
They sit at their respective windows long after dinner's done, just watching the sky while for once, drinking wine instead of coffee.
The blonde talks endlessly about the stars and Bo just hums, a beautiful buzz from the wine and the sound of her voice settling somewhere in her mind.
It could be the intoxication talking, but she swears she could stay in this moment forever.
...
"You know this is insane, right? No one else puts lights up this early." Bo points out, glaring at the lights in her hands.
"Just, shut up and untangle."
Bo snorts, "that sounded so dirty."
"Everything sounds dirty to you."
"Not everything."
"Most things."
"Well, it's not my fault you make almost anything sound sexy."
They don't talk again after that.
...
She spends almost every waking moment thinking about it. She doesn't think she has ever wanted anything as much as she just wants to ask her.
She doesn't think she has ever dreaded anything as much as she dreads losing her.
Losing this.
So she decides to wait till after Christmas. The blonde is so ridiculously in love with the holiday that it's sort of annoying how cute it is.
She'll be in high spirits after christmas and chances of her saying yes will be high then.
Yes. She'll ask after Christmas.
...
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
"Sitting here with you. You?"
"You already said you're sitting here with me. You basically planned my Christmas for me."
"I did, didn't I?"
The blonde just rolls her eyes and smiles.
...
Bo laughs as she watches the other woman struggle to throw lights on the thin tree that's between their flats.
"Decorating." She humphs, missing the tree and trying again. "Which you should be looking into too."
Bo rolls her eyes and calls the entire thing silly. But later she drops by a store and gets cute little ornaments which she lines on the window.
"Not a word." She warns when the blonde smiles later.
"I wasn't going to say anything."
"Sure you weren't."
"Believe what you want." She shrugs and thus killing that line of conversation. "Anyway, I was thinking, we should decide each other's menu for christmas. I'll get you something, you'll get me something."
"What if I don't like what you get me or vice verser?"
"I guess we'll just have to go with trust here."
...
Lauren loves the Italian food Bo brings her.
Bo complains the whole time while stuffing her face full of all Lauren's home cooked meals.
...
"Merry Christmas."
Bo's eyes widen. "You didn't have to get me a gift. You said no gifts."
"Well I changed my mind. Come on, take it before I fall or my arm dies or something."
Bo sighs and takes the wrapped box. And traces the note at the top- 'Merry Christmas, Bo. Lauren.'
Lauren. She smiles at finally knowing her name.
Opening gently and smiling when she sees the Harry Porter themed mittens and scarf. She knew the blonde was just messing when she gagged at Bo's love for everything Harry Porter.
She lifts them, ready to say thank you, only to find a small vase with a tiny baggie next to it.
"I developed the seeds." The blonde is quick to explain. "It's a hybrid between orchid and a rose. I have a vague idea of what it'll be when it's fully grown. I hope you'll like it."
Bo feels her eyes sting, she chuckles tearily. "You actually made me a flower from my favourite flowers?"
The blonde shrugs like it's nothing. "Merry Christamas, Bo."
And Bo wants to say something, but Thank You seems so inadequate.
...
It eats at her.
She can't sleep. It's at the tip of her tongue as she tells Lauren of the annoying guy at work. As Lauren tells her of her encounter with Mr. Keys from the house across hers who tries to hit on her although he's eighty and she doesn't know whether to be impressed, amused or insulted.
It's right there, she's literally just about to say it as they watch fireworks go off in the distance but then Lauren looks at her with her eyes bright from firework lights and happiness.
"Happy new year."
And she just can't.
Not yet.
...
"So, I have something to ask you."
It's mid January and she feels like if she doesn't do this now, she'll go insane.
And she likes her sanity.
So it has to be done.
"Okay." Lauren chuckles.
"Will you-" she takes in a huge breath, "will you go out with me? Like on a date?"
Lauren's eyes widen. Panic bursts in her like a broken dam and she feels like if she doesn't fill the space with words it'll suffocate her.
"It doesn't have to be anything fancy. We can go to Bette's and just have pancakes or whatever. I just want to go out with you. On a date. And I really hope you want to go out with me too."
"I do." She says almost too softly in that way that indicates there's 'but' in there somewhere.
"But?" Bo prompts.
"I can't, I'm sorry Bo. I can't."
...