Title; I breathe out (You breathe in)
Pairing; Bo/Lauren.
Part 5;Turn our golden faces into the sun.
...
January isn't the best of months.
Things between them are tense and awkward and Bo wishes with all that she is that she'd never asked that damn question.
...
Except, she wanted to ask that question.
She wants to go out on a date with Lauren.
She wants to buy her dinner and hold her hand.
She wants to walk down the street with her and if she's lucky, get a kiss, or a million.
But more than anything, she wants Lauren to want that too.
...
"How was work?"
"Good. How's research going?"
"Good."
"That's good."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
...
Their time together gets shorter and shorter until they're barely spending half an hour together.
Lauren looks guilty.
And Bo is just plain confused.
Nothing makes much sense anymore.
...
Dyson, the annoying guy from work, asks her out.
He's charming in that guyish way when he's not being annoying.
And she needs a way to get over Lauren if she's going to fix their friendship.
So she says yes. And his beaming smile makes her feel like she's doing the wrong thing.
...
"I have a date this Friday." She says as casually as possible.
Lauren, who's still getting used to wearing contacts, narrows her eyes a bit. "A date?"
"A date."
"With whom?"
"Dyson."
Her face morphs into something closely resembling disgust, "the annoying one with the beard?"
"He's not always annoying." Bo defends half heartedly.
"But he has a beard." Lauren points out like this should be an answer to something important.
Bo shrugs. "So?"
"So, beards are gross."
Bo can't help but smile. She's just too cute with her oblivious jealousy. "How would you know. I thought you're a goldstar lesbian."
"I don't have to kiss a bearded guy to know that facial hair is gross."
"Maybe I'll learn to like it."
Again with the narrowed eyes, "you shouldn't have to learn how to like the person you're with."
"Well I can't get the one I want." Bo looks at her pointedly. "So I have to learn to want the one I get."
Lauren doesn't say anything after that.
...
Dyson is prompt friday night and she wishes he wasn't.
She waters her flower and keeps looking back at her kitchen, not wanting to leave.
"Let me just," she points towards the kitchen, "let me just get a glass of water."
He nods and agrees to wait.
She takes longer than necessary, willing Lauren to appear and just please, please tell her not to go.
She'll even agree to her ridiculous beard excuse today.
She doesn't turn up.
Bo leaves the kitchen only to come back a few minutes later.
"Come on, Lauren. Come on." She mumbles under her breath, watching the window across from her like a hawk.
Nothing.
She turns to leave when she hears her, finally. "So you're really doing this?"
"I have no other choice."
"Has he shaved his beard?"
Bo sighs, "you're not being fair. I asked you on a date. I looked you in the eyes and asked you and you looked me in the eyes and told me no."
"I didn't say no. I said I can't." She explains like that should make any difference.
"It's the same thing."
"No it's not." She shakes head. "No means I don't want to, I can't means I'm not capable."
"What can't you? Why are you incapable?"
"I'm not good at relationships of any kind." She says almost sadly. "People confuse me and infuriate me and most of the time I can't stand them. You're one of the few who's an exception and I'm afraid if we act on our feelings and end up not working out I'd have ruined us."
"So you're dooming us before we've even begun for nothing?"
"This is not nothing." She points between them, "what we have, what we already have, it's not nothing to me."
"But what we have could be so much more." Bo's voice is almost pleading, she doesn't even care. "You just have to take a chance, Lauren."
Dyson chooses then to call and ask her if she's almost done, they might lose their reservation he says.
Lauren shakes her head and moves away.
Bo stands there till the lights in Lauren's kitchen are switched off.
...
The whole night is torture.
Dyson is nice and attentive and some girl will be really lucky to be the object of his affections.
But she's not some girl.
She's a girl who can't stop looking at her watch and wondering what Lauren is doing by now.
She's a girl who's apologising to her date while running out of the resturant and into a taxi and all the way to her window when she gets home.
She's a girl who's dissapointed in herself because she might have messed it all up.
...
"Blondie!"
"Blondie!"
Someone somewhere says for her to stop making noise. She rolls her eyes.
"Lauren, please." I know- I know I fucked up, I know I shouldn't have pushed for more than you could give and I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for a chance to earn it. I'm asking because I love what we already have too. I love coming home knowing you'll be here. I love talking about your research and that you let me bitch about my boss. I love everything about what we already have and if I made it sound like I don't, like it's nothing, it wasn't intentional and I'm sorry."
She waits to hear if something moves. She just sees a light turn on and she smiles.
"I'm going to sit here all night telling you all the things I love about what we have if that's what it takes to get you to give me another chance. Although I think you should know I might freeze and that will totally be on you. No pressure or anything, just a warning. I wouldn't mind-"
There's a knock on her door, cutting her mid ramble and she groans. "Go away!"
It gets louder. Probably Dyson followed her home to ask why the fuck she ran out like a lunatic.
But the lights just turned on meaning Lauren's listening and this is her chance.
"I said go the fuck away!"
It gets even louder. She groans again- "I'll be right back. Please don't go. I know you're there."
Then she storms to the door, ready to rip Dyson a new one. Only to swing the door open to find Lauren.
Shifting her weight from one foot to another.
Suddenly, her lungs feel empty.
"Lauren? what are you-"
The blonde curls and uncurls her fists. She looks so nervous and sheepish and so, so beautiful.
"You really shouldn't adress me by the colour of my hair, it's rude."
Bo laughs but her throat feels full of tears. "I wanted to get your attention."
"Well you did. Here I am."
"Here you are." Bo says with a nod. Then she frowns a little. "Why are you here?" Because if it's to end them completely she doesn't know what she'll do.
Lauren doesn't answer immidiately. She just looks at Bo and smiles. Gently, truly, her lips lifting at the sides and the corners of her eyes crinkling and all of her face lighting up.
She places a cool palm on Bo's cheek and steps right into her personal space.
"I'm doing what you asked of me. I'm taking a chance."
She whispers.
Right before kissing her.
...
Fin.
...
An; The ending is meant to be ambiguous. Like those anything could happen now endings.
The whole idea of this was two people creating chemistry using words. I hope I managed to do that. & that you liked it.
Feel free to tell me if you did (Or didn't.)