AN: Didn't want to get too longwinded in Ch1 note, but I can't forget this heads-up – there will be reference to child abuse and neglect in later chapters. The discussions of abuse/neglect will not be particularly graphic themselves, but there will be in depth discussing of the emotional and psychological toll. I will add an additional disclaimer any chapters where that could be an issue.
Disclaimer: Still not mine
contrite shadow is awesome, as beta and as an author. If you're a Castle or Fifty Shades fan, go read her stuff.
Chapter 2: Finding Something Familiar
Snow spent the next several hours in thought, sometimes deep and others wandering. Thoughts of how different her life as a schoolteacher in Storybrooke was from her life as ruler of her kingdom in Fairytale Land jostled alongside thoughts of Emma being both best friend and daughter. She spent a long time reminiscing also about the time she had spent in exile. While she had been heartsick at being sent away by Regina after her father's death, Snow had come to love the forest deeply. She had her own special areas, including a few emergency stashes and an assortment of hiding places. If she could narrow down where they had made camp, she thought, perhaps one of her old hiding places was nearby and still accessible. Several of them had been underground, in hidden pits or the roots of dead, hollowed out trees. She feared they might have become too overgrown, or possibly even collapsed. It was unclear how time had passed here – in Storybrooke nothing had changed significantly in twenty-eight years, until Emma came to town. Had it been the same in Fairytale Land? Did time pass faster or slower between the two worlds? She had no way of knowing. Really, only Regina might have those answers, and Snow was unsure whether she would share them even if she did.
At one time, Snow had admired Regina and adored her with the fierceness only an innocent young child is truly capable of. For so long, she believed her affections were returned. Everything changed so suddenly, and she did not know why for the longest time. Even once she learned that Regina blamed her for Daniel's death, she didn't understand how it had gone wrong. In her child's mind, she had sought only to help Regina by telling Cora about Daniel and how special their love of each other was. Even once Regina told an adult Snow what had really happened, that Cora had killed Daniel because of what she said, Snow didn't fully understand. Her own parents had been loving and doted on her all her life. Until the moment of Regina's betrayal, when she openly blamed Snow White for the loss of her happy ending and gave her the poisoned apple, Snow had known nothing but safety, warmth, and love.
As she looked back now, Snow acknowledged that she would not have become the capable, strong woman she was if not for her time in the forest. Out here she had to survive on her own. She had to learn to give her trust carefully, and not just to anyone who spoke sweetly to her. She also knew she would never have made such a personal connection with any of her subjects, nor had cause or opportunity to see what everyday life was like for them. She learned to find joy in a full cup, a gathering of friends, and the simple breaking of bread. Without that time in exile, she would have remained blissfully content, ensconced in her castle, having her whims catered to at every turn and leaving the grounds only with a retinue due royalty. Without the exile, she would not have learned the difference between friend and subject, care and adulation.
Several hours later, Snow began to feel drowsy. She gently woke Emma and they chatted briefly, mostly about how much they wanted to get back to Henry and Charming. Snow made Emma promise to wake her if she saw or heard anything unusual, then laid down for her own rest.
Emma's watch was quiet. She'd been on enough stakeouts as a bail bonds-person and, more recently, night patrols as Sheriff, that staying awake for a few hours at night was easy. She did kind of wish she had a book or some crosswords or something to pass the time. There was certainly plenty to think about, but those dark thoughts were exactly why she wanted something to pass the time. Reluctantly, she allowed herself to think about Mary Margaret/Snow White. The woman who had become her best friend and confidant, who certainly did not look to be much older than Emma herself, was her mother. Her son's grandmother. And David Nolan, the man who had spent so much time in a coma before being awoken by Mary Margaret reading Henry's book to him; that same man was her father and Henry's grandfather. As she pondered, she realized it helped to explain the near instant connection she had felt with Mary Margaret. Emma was certainly not one to trust quickly, if at all. She lived alone, dined alone, dealt with her problems alone. And yet, within a short time after coming to Storybrooke she had moved in with Mary Margaret and had all of her meager belongings delivered there. She became invested in the other woman's life and feelings, and let the other woman invest in her own. Having never had a mom before, though, she did not know how to make the transition from best friend to daughter. She figured some parents and kids became friends after the kids grew up, but how to do the reverse?
Emma had successfully avoided thinking about the existence of magic, and the fact that she apparently could use it, by focusing on Snow. Admittedly, there was a lot to focus on there. Just as the thoughts of magic began to punch through her formidable defenses, the clearing began to fill with the faint stirrings of dawn. Regina followed shortly, realizing that day was approaching. She looked to Emma and initiated the first conversation in hours. "Why didn't you wake me? I thought we were taking turns, isn't that how this works?"
"Wha-? Oh, hi. Good morning. I must have gotten lost in thought, didn't even notice the time passing."
"Clearly. Well, I'm awake now. Why don't you get what rest you can, I'll find something for breakfast."
Emma looked at her questioningly. "You really think you can do that? I mean, didn't you always live in a castle or something?"
Regina was naturally a morning person, but her patience for Emma Swan had never been great. Clearly annoyed, she replied in a condescending tone, "Miss Swan, I am what you would call a witch. A very skilled one at that. Perhaps my magic isn't exactly as it used to be, but I know plants, herbs and the like very well. If it would make you feel better, I will eat first. You and Snow may eat once you have ascertained that I am in fact not dead."
Emma was taken aback at the harshness and backtracked. "Hey, no, that's not it. I know you want to get back to Henry as much as I do, so I'm not worried about that. I just, this is all completely new to me. If you say you know what to look for, I believe you. Okay, so I'm just gonna close my eyes for a little bit while you go do that." So saying, Emma reclaimed her jacket-pillow and quickly fell back asleep.
After a couple of hours, Emma once again stirred awake. This time it was to a much brighter camp, and an unknown but still pleasant odor coming from one of the fires. As she dragged herself to the land of consciousness, Emma became aware that both Regina and Snow were up and having breakfast. On opposite sides of the campsite, but that wasn't surprising really. Emma took a few more moments, noting the tension flowing between her companions and mentally preparing for yet another day of, well, who the hell knows what. Snow noticed her daughter beginning to move about and prepared a bowl, sort of, of hot grains for her. As promised, Regina did indeed know the foliage very well and had returned from her morning exploration with a couple of gourds that she had then hollowed out to use as bowls, and other bits of plant life that would provide them energy to start the day.
Snow sat next to Emma and explained, "Regina was kind enough to provide us with some breakfast, but we still need to locate a water source. I've been looking around a bit this morning. I think we may be close to one of the hiding places I used when in exile. I thought maybe, once you've woken up a bit more, we could go looking for it. If I'm right, there is a stream close to it. Well, there was. I hope it's still there. We could have fresh fish and small game, assuming it's all still there. Oh, Emma, there's so much I want to show you! I know we need to get back, to get Charming and Henry and the others, but I'm just so glad to be back home!"
Still somewhat groggy, Emma tried to keep up with Snow's excitement. "Uh, yeah, that sounds great. Just, uh, I don't suppose there's a shower and a bathroom nearby, huh?" Regina, overhearing the conversation, rolled her eyes (but secretly wished for the same).
Snow just chuckled as she answered, "No, I'm afraid not. You'll have to find a bush like the rest of us. Now, I know you're not a morning person so I'll just leave you to wake up and do whatever you need to do to get ready, but we do need to get moving before too long. I don't want us to get stranded. If we can't find my old shelter, I want to be sure we have time to get back here before nightfall." With that, Snow began to dismantle most of the stone circles and scatter the remains of the fires. When Regina and Emma both looked at her curiously, Snow took the time to explain. "We won't need the circle of fires tonight, since the Wraith seems to be taken care of. I'd prefer to leave as little trail as possible – we really don't know anything about what this realm is like now yet. So, just enough stones to be able to make a new pit tonight if necessary without giving away too much." Regina and Emma both nodded slightly, and each made what small preparations they needed for travel.
Morning preparations complete, and the clearing restored to as natural a state as possible, Snow led the royal party into the woods in search of her shelter. Not much was said – the occasional "Watch out for that tree branch" or "Careful of the thorns here" was all the conversation that passed between them for most of the day. As the afternoon wore on, and just before tempers began to flare, Snow paused and shushed her already quiet companions. Closing her eyes to concentrate carefully, Snow finally confirmed her suspicion – she heard water nearby. Snow made a minor course correction to head directly for the stream. It had been a long day's walk and she knew her companions must have been as thirsty as she herself was. Further, with luck they would be able to catch some fish or perhaps the eggs of some shore-dwelling bird for dinner.
Soon the burble of the stream became evident to the others as well. Ever proper and precise, Regina merely sped up a bit. Snow laughed as Emma, never one to be shy, made a break for it and ran to the stream's edge. There she dropped to her knees and immediately began to drink directly from the stream - for all of about two seconds. Then she spat it out and began wiping at her tongue, complaining, "Ew! It tastes like clay!"
"Well, Emma, it's a stream; not a filtered tap coming from a processing plant. What did you expect?" Snow chuckled, then went on, "But it won't hurt you. I lived off this water for long enough to know that much." It was a statement of fact, but the ever defensive Regina heard an element of reprimand as well. Instead of responding, she took one of the gourd bowls, filled it, and concentrated intensely for several seconds. Then she tasted of the liquid carefully; while not the tastiest beverage ever she had sampled, it was perfectly acceptable as water. "Miss Swan, perhaps you will find this less offensive," she offered along with the bowl.
Emma cautiously eyed both Regina and the bowl, before taking the latter and drinking. "Hey, that's a lot better! Thanks. How'd you do that?" Emma asked.
"Magic of course," Regina kept her eye roll to a minimum.
"I thought it didn't work the same anymore."
"Yes, I'm afraid it's going to take some time to figure out all of the changes," Regina confirmed, "but this was simple. I merely cleaned the water, instead of creating it from something else. Much easier to do."
"Huh. Neat. Could you teach me to do that?" Emma was still adjusting to the fact that she now had magic.
Snow interjected, with hard won caution, "Emma, are you sure that's a good idea? She is the Evil Queen."
"Was the Evil Queen," Emma corrected (to Regina's surprise), "and how else am I going to learn? You saw what happened with the fires last night. What if I accidentally hurt someone? Hurt Henry? I've never had magic before; I don't know the first thing about how to control it. I have no idea what we actually did when we took out that Dementor/Wraith thing together, but it was – whoa." As she failed to find adequate words, Emma flushed slightly at the memory of the tingly warmth which generated the instant they touched, and lingered long after. She settled for, "It was some kinda powerful."
In a low, almost predatory tone, Regina hummed, "Mmm, it certainly was."
Snow again deliberately ignored Regina's contribution and said, "Which is exactly why I question the wisdom here! She's dangerous enough with her own magic. Do you really want to give her access to yours?" Curious herself how Emma would respond to this question, Regina watched her closely.
"Yeah, actually I do." Emma held up a hand to halt Snow's protest. "Look, I get that you two have issues," here both Regina and Snow scoffed at the understatement, "but the fact is we have to work together now. Regina is the only one of the three of us who knows the first thing about magic. I have magic, apparently, and no idea what to do with it. Heck, a day ago I didn't even believe in it! Like I said, I know there's bad blood between you two, but we all want to get back. Magic got us here, it's the only thing that's going to get us back there. It only makes sense, so I'll ask again; Regina, will you teach me to use magic?"
"As much as it pains me, dear, I have to agree with you. Your display last night was most certainly uncontrolled, and uncontrolled magic is indeed extremely dangerous. Yes, I will teach you. I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it because I wish to return to Henry."
"I'm still not sure this is the best idea," Snow insisted.
"Fine. Either you can deal with it, or you can stay here and leave your precious Prince Charming in Storybrooke," Regina snapped.
"Hey, okay, how about this; any time Regina is training me, we let Snow observe. That way, Snow, you know exactly what's happening and you don't have to worry about what she's showing me." Emma hoped they could come to some agreement on this. She was honestly pretty excited at the prospect of using magic.
"That would be fine with me," Regina granted.
Snow concurred, "Okay, Emma. I can agree to that for now."
"Great. So, now that that's resolved, where's your shelter, Snow? Are we as close to it as you thought?" Emma was really ready to sit down for a bit, hopefully with the promise of food and shade. It had been a pretty mild day, but she was not used to so much walking and had become quite warm.
Snow found she was actually excited. "Yes, we are! It's just a few minutes from here. I want to check it out first, make sure it's still there. Why don't you two stay here and rest, maybe collect some more water, while I go check it out. When I get back, I'll show you how to find eggs and we'll have some dinner, ok?" As Emma and Regina gave sounds of assent, Snow turned and entered the trees again in search of her old shelter. Fortunately, she found it right where she left it; unfortunately, there was significant overgrowth barring the entrance. Snow only hoped this meant the inside was undisturbed – if so, there were a number of tools that would aid in their survival within. She began carefully pulling away what weeds, vines, and small branches she could with her bare hands. Before long she had revealed enough of the opening to be able to cautiously slip inside.
Snow was instantly filled with a sense of fond nostalgia. The shelter looked exactly as she recalled, housing blankets, a handful of cloaks, an assortment of cooking utensils and water containers, and a number of other items. Among them, to her delight, was her bow and a set of arrows. Not her best set, of course, those she had kept with her, but still quite serviceable. She quickly examined them and found the bow, having been properly stored before she last left the shelter, was still in good shape. Some of the arrows were a bit questionable, but several appeared to be usable. Snow was confident she could make replacements quickly, which would aid greatly in hunting, and in defense if necessary.
Looking around once more to inventory the items at her disposal, Snow began gathering some things to take with her when she returned to her companions at the stream. An old leather satchel was perfect for holding the water containers, a couple of knives, and some metal hooks. On her way out, with bow and arrow slung over one shoulder and the satchel on the other, she stopped and removed one of the knives. Cutting carefully, she removed a length of vine – it wasn't the best material for the job, but could be used as fishing line in a pinch. With confidence restored in part due to familiar surroundings and tools for survival, Snow hiked her satchel up on her shoulder and set out for the stream, and more importantly for her daughter.