Okay...

So yeah, I did something that was completely unexpected. I read my own work.

Yeah... I has been about two years since I updated this fic and on a whim I real all my WIPS. There is no way I can intentionally not finish. Please recap before you pick up here. Also see me at the bottom.

Bella

My arms were tight around Edward as his stomach revolted. Heaving over and over until I was sure that he was in pain. My movements were gentle and soothing, meant to calm him and settle his rattled soul.

But me...

My tightly concealed thoughts were running rampant. As far as Edward knew he had just executed a target, albeit early, but the target was down nonetheless. For me, Edward has just inevitably set a chain of events in action. From top to bottom my assignment had been rearranged by one gunshot.

"Edward, come on the longer you sit there, the more nauseous you're going to be." I said softly as he began to shift and attempt to pull himself together. He stumbled into his bedroom and flopped down on the bed face first.

"Bella, I don't think I'm cut out for this." He mumbled quietly.

"Is that the first time you've actually used a live weapon?" I asked, subconsciously rubbing soothing circles on his back. He nodded, not bothering to lift his head. "Well, I could lie to you and say it gets better... but I'm not. But you will learn to cope with it."

Curling up on his side I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he rested his head on my lap. Once again the overwhelming need to comfort him took over as my fingers made slow passes through his hair.

"Hey Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for doing this, well for just... being here."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.

Edward fell asleep after a while and I slid into my room flopping down on my bed. I was so consumed with my own thoughts I didn't even notice when Alice slipped into my room until she sat down on my bed beside me. Being a techie and basically maintaining all the systems in The Grotto there wasn't a place that was restricted to her, especially not my space.

"What happened?" She stated simply. The loaded question sounded off like a shot in the quiet room.

"Well Emmett McCarty is down." I responded. Bracing myself for an explosion of epic proportions.

The explosion never came. I chanced a glance at my miniature counterpart and she was frozen. Her face was as pale as a sheet and she looked horrified.

"CJ is going..."

"I KNOW ALICE!" I snapped and fisted my hair in both my hands. "He is going to kill me. It just happened so fast! I just..." I trailed off.

With a sigh she slid a go phone in my hand, "B, you know how this goes. One call, and that thing goes in the furnace. Just... You still have a few hours until deadline. Relax, it's all going to be okay."

I nodded, blowing a slow breath through pursed lips. I sat up catching her meaningful expression before the door closed with a soft click.

I stared at the unimposing throw away phone in my hand, flipping it over and over in my hand. I was struggling to get my shit together. With shaking fingers I dialed the all too familiar number and the line connected.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! THIS IS NOT HOW THIS IS SET UP!" I held the phone away from my face as CJ roared.

"CJ please calm down, your voice is distorting and I can't understand you." I sighed.

"Oh, well excuse the fuck out of me, but the last time we spoke I was pretty sure I was in charge." He voiced in a deadly calm voice. "What the fuck happened today?"

"Umm..." I stuttered, "Well I wasn't expecting..." The words died in my throat and the silence loomed ominously.

"The plug has been pulled. You will report to..."

I flipped the phone closed before he could finish, effectively cutting off communication. For good measure I powered the phone down and snapped it in half.

Slipping out of the room I walked down to the boiler room and unceremoniously tossed the phone into open flame of the furnace. The offensive smell of burned plastic permeated the air making my stomach twist a little more. I had just cut off contact with my get out of jail free card. It was an odd feeling to know that there was no backup, no boss to answer too. As freeing as that may sound, I had undoubtedly shackled myself to this lifestyle. There would be no cavalry to save me, there would be no recognition. Just one rogue agent, swimming in a sea of death.

That lifetime achievement medal that Charlie cherished all the days of his life? I would never have one. With one phone call, and one minor infraction towards my superior I had changed all the good I'd done into something negative.

Even with that line of thought I couldn't regret the life changing decision. For six long years I'd been fighting this fight. At the tender age of 21 I'd made it my life's goal to disembowel this monster. Building a rapport, earning trust, infiltrating the system, and most of all wearing the blood of the fallen on my hands.

Seeing this thing through wasn't going to be easy, but things that give pleasure in life rarely are.

I am so so soooo sorry for this. Really. I don't have an update schedule any more obviously. But what I will promise is that I will finish it, for anyone who is still with me.

By the way, I still actually have my original outline. The bomb that was dropped at the end of this chapter was definitely intentional. LOL!

Drop me a line if you're still there. I LOVE YOU ALL!

XOXOXOXOX KK