To my readers (If there are any): I wrote this for three reasons:
1) Because I enjoys me some fics
2) Because I want to reader to enjoy as well
3) Because I don't believe there are enough Rammstein fics out there!
Aufwiedersehen! Upayuass!
"Ha ha! I just got laid!"
"Will you quit saying that!?"
"Why? it's ture. That hot hawaiin chick just laid me."
"Paul, if you don't shut up I'm gonna' hang you from that thing."
"Come on Till, you know it's funny."
"It wasn't funny a misute ago and it isn't funny now."
"Here he comes," Richard said as the resort manager approached. He was a little surprised. They all thought the director of a Hawaiin resort would be... Hawaiin. This man was short and Japanese. The sun reflected brightly off his balding head. Richard tried not to look at it as the man got closer. This was his worse nightmare incarnate.
"Hello, Rammstein!" the little chinese man said. "Welcome to Hawaii. I am Kaseu Hasagawa. But you may call me Mr.H. Everyone else does."
"Mister H," Richard said, shaking his hand. At the end of the small runway, after they had all been laid, the six men waited for the hotel director to arrive.
"I am sorry for the wait. We are very busy this year."
"A lot of people here?" Richard asked, a little worried.
"Oh yes," the little man said. "This has to be one of our busiest years ever."
Richard began to sweat in the midday sun. He had been afraid of something like this. They had all hoped to come to the island and not come accross any rabid fans. Or anyone that knew who they were. There being a lot of people here increased the odds of them being found out. No one knew they were here. As far as the fans knew, they were all in different locations. If anyone found out that they were here together there would be hell.
"So," Hasagawa. "Anytime you want, you may feel free to enjoy all the island has to offer. Your bags are in your rooms and the island is yours."
"All right! Lets go." Paul and Oliver went in the direction of the hotel, Flake and Christoph in tow. Till and Richard stood with Mr. H until they were out of earshot.
Then Richard said, "Uumm...Mr. H? Could I ask you a favor?"
"Sure," the man was happy to oblige. "Anything you need."
"Well, could you keep our being here...Uuh..."
"Yes?"
"Just don't..."
Till said for his partner, "Don't let anyone know we're here."
"Oh yes," the man said. He sounded very sure of himself. "We do that all the time. Do not worry."
"You do?" Richard asked.
"Yes, yes. In fact, your names aren't in the log book. Please, walk with me."
"Why?" Till asked.
"Even though we are very careful about... your type of visitor..." the man explained, "We still take many precautions to keep your stay enjoyable and undisturbed. Elvis Presly was once here and no one even knew. He was laying next to the pool and no one recognized him."
A man at the door greeted Mr. H and opened the door for them. The lobby of the hotel was breathtaking. The ceiling was a glass dome. Reaching up to it were a dozen palm trees. Richard couldn't see one, but he hear the sound of a fountain inside the cavernous lobby. Mr. H lead them past the front desk and into an elavator.
As the familiar feeling of ascention came to Richard's stomach, he said, "Tell me, Mr. H... How do you handle... trouble?"
Mr. Hasagawa looked at the guitar player in a condesending way and said, "Very well. We have a small jail in the basement. Guns are not allowed but stun guns and tazers are easily accessable to our security team. But they are very skilled in handto-hand combat... Why? Do you plan on causing trouble?" The way he said it seemed a little threatening, but polite at the same time. Richard knew he didn't want te get this man upset at him.
He looked at Till, you seemed to be holding back a smile. Richard knew that he was well indowed in the knowledge of electricity and fire. They all were. But Till was the real pro when it came to the pyrotechnics. He could sit closer to a raging fire than anyone else and was probably already immune to electricity. But a tazor...
Then he looked up to the ceiling of the elevator to see a camera staring back at him. He'd also seen many in the lobby and some in the trees. They were ready for anything. They would see whatever happened. He hoped he could get a hold of his fellow band members and keep them in check. The last thing he wanted was any trouble. "No," he said. "Not at all."
"Good," the man said as the elevator door opened. "Then let me show you to your rooms. As you know, you have an entire floor to yourselves. Please use this privalage wisely."
And now it's time for analog's interview with the cast! Today, the only character who had an impact was Richard-
Till: Hey! What am I? Dead?
ana: Oh, come on Till. You were asleep half the time.
Till: (Looks like he's about to argue, then smiles) That's true. I guess you're right.
ana: Any way! Richard! What were you so worried about your other band members doing?
Richard: Well... Almost every time we take a vacation or break from touring, something...bad happens.
ana: Could you define bad?
R: (Thinks)
T: One of us does something stupid.
R: (Nod, nod)
a: Like what? Care to explain? (The two guys share a look) Or is it that bad-
T: Oh, there's nothing bad. Whenever we get in trouble and get chased around by the other vacationers-
R: -Or the guards-
T: Yeah. I hate it when theme parks have their own little army. But what I'm saying is, even though we get in trouble and chased all around and...set some things on fire, well... When we look back on it, we really did enjoy ourselves. And then there was that time at Seaworld.
R: (Snikers)
T: You wanna' know what the blow hole's not for?
a: ...You know... I think I'm gonna pass.
R: (Clears throught) Being chased and accidently causing mischief is fun for everyone- even if they say it isn't. (Smoke) I dunno... Maybe on a subconcious level we make trouble on purpose. And the other people have fun as well! When they get home, they'll tell about those six guys who almost wrecked the place and their friends will laugh. They'll laugh too, because they'll see how funny it really was and relize what a great time they had!.
T: Take this camera, for instance (Till takes my camera and faces it at me) Look at it. It's sitting there...Normal... Boring... Dull...
R: Peaceful...
a: Uuh... Careful. That thing was expensive...
T: But if you do this! (Till throws my camera into the air and catches it(
a: (Gasp)
T: Or this (Till throws it from hand-to-hand) It's much more exciting- See? Look how excited you are.
R: (Laughs)
a: P-please. Please give it back. If you break that thing, I'll be waist deep in-
T: Or ...what about if I do thi-
(Static)