Part 1:
"I am heading out," I turn off the computer and set the headphones on the side.
"Already? But it's barely seven thirty," Father questions, mustache precisely fixed, face neatly shaved. He looks ten years younger than he did just a few weeks ago.
L on the other hand looks dreadful, the bones on his neck and shoulders protruding, the dark circles around his eyes sunken. He's still avoiding me, still ignoring my attempts to get close to him. Even now, as I announce I'm leaving, he does nothing more than sip on his coffee and set it down again as if no one has spoken at all.
"Yeah, dad. I have something to do, I'll be back later." I turn to L, as if noticing him for the first time too, "see you later, Ryuzaki."
He waves me off with a hand, doesn't even give me the decency of his words. I wave back at him as if nothing's wrong, as if his lack of care isn't the biggest slap on the face. This is why I can't stand him. He thinks he's better than everyone else, he thinks he's above, he thinks he's right no matter what, and no matter what I know he still suspects me and that isn't going to go away.
I guess it does hurt a little, in my pride more than anything. After all, I'm used to people wanting to be around me, not giving me the cold shoulder. Was he always like this? No, before I got my memories, even if it was only an act, he regarded me as a friend. So this must mean that he suspects that there was some sort of change since Higuchi's death. But how much does he know? I don't believe what he knows is much to his advantage, I can see that by his physical appearance, unless that's what he wants me to believe. Should I give the order to Misa already, or should I wait a little longer, just to see what he knows?
I have to do it now. If he finds some way to trace everything back at me-
But he can't. There's nothing. So what am I wanting for?
First things first, I have to go see him.
Part 2:
He's already waiting for me, like always. He's never been late, has never been too early either, makes me wonder about his work, his personal life. Doesn't he have other things to do? But I can't just intrude into his life like that, at least not yet.
"Have you been waiting long?" I ask, pulling the chair out and taking a seat.
He is wearing white, a brown jacket placed behind him in the chair, "Just got here, don't worry." The sound of his voice like always is refreshment to my ears, being with him is different. "How was your day?"
I like that he asks me that. When he does, he tilts his head to the side, somehow gets closer, smiles, makes me feel as if he really wants to know. He's not just asking as part of a routine, not as a way to start conversation, he's asking because he really wants to know how my day was. I can't remember the last person that actually cared that weren't my parents.
"Long day at work, but mostly okay, yours?"
He looks at me as if I've just lied to his face, his voice a bit sturdy. That's what makes him such a mistery. I know very well that he isn't in my- or for that matter- in L's category, that would be impossible, but he sees things common people wouldn't catch. "Light, I asked you "how was your day?" Why won't you tell me?"
"Why do you want me to bore you with details?"
"Because I want to get to know you, yet you always avoid me throwing pointless conversations. Sometimes I wonder if it's even possible for me to win your trust."
I chuckle, more for show than anything, "You have my trust, I am here with you. Why would you think otherwise?"
He settles his voice, back to the calmness of the peaceful night sky, "Fine. It is naive to think that I deserve something I haven't offered first."
"What do you mean?" My pores open, blood rushes to my head. One hundred and one questions, all for which there are no answers. Is he insulted? Will he not want to see me again?
"I'll tell you the real reason why I came to Japan. I will trust you with the biggest of my secrets. Maybe like that, you'll be able to trust me with at least the slightest part of yours."
Every neuron in my brain tickles at the nerve endings, cells spasming and constricting, energy rushing within me, I've wanted to hear this for so long. "Tell me," I all but beg, and it is embarrassingly noted in my voice.
"It isn't something we should discuss over dinner. After this we should go for a walk."
"Yeah, of course. Whatever is best for you." The waiter comes over and I get ready for the longest meal of my life.
We usually sit for hours, talking about the simplest things. He usually talks about Germany and Paris, I talk about Japan and it's culture. Very rarely he would wonder into religion and politics, and when he did, I slowly diverted him somewhere else. I had to be careful in everything I spoke. After all, a few weeks ago he was still a stranger, and no matter how welcome he makes me feel or how relaxing it is to be with him, I still have to protect myself more than anything.
Today however, I dig into my food as soon as it is served, being careful not to look rushed, but answering his questions with only the necessary. I don't't want to prolong the conversations, for my only mission is to chew, chew, chew, to be able to get out of here and listen to what is really interesting. Johan has been a mistery since I first meet him, something I've wanted to reach, and the only thing standing between him and me tonight is the plate full of food I am shoving down my throat.
He is the same as always, nothing out of place. His tone of voice remains peaceful, his maneuver a river of tranquility. I kind of envy that. How does he manage it anyway? No person can be like this all the time, everybody snaps. Unless he's like me, and this is all-
This is all an act! L got me! How could I not have seen it? What was I thinking?
I finish before him, but he doesn't make me wait any longer. I tell him not to worry, to take his time, but for a moment he looks just as anxious as me to get out of here. Could it be? Would L go as low as to prey on my most notable deficiency: my lack of companion? He would know it couldn't be just anyone, he would know it had to be someone who caught my attention, someone like him. We grab our jackets from the chairs, he leaves money on the table, he's never once let me pay, I don't fight him over it anymore.
He slips his jacket on like anything else, smoothly. Absentmindedly, mine gets twisted in the back. I pull at it, trying and failing to fix it as we walk towards the door. If Johan has noticed he makes a point to ignore it. Outside, I take the jacket off completely. I smile because I don't want to curse. He turns to me and makes a sound. It's a sound I've never heard before, first low and then a little louder, it isn't until I stop rustling with the jacket that I notice he is laughing. He is laughing! This is the first time I have ever hear him laugh. He has smiled before, but never this, and I stared at him as he takes the jacket from my hands, fixes it, and slips it back into my arms. He goes as far as fixing the collar for me, all while still laughing quietly.
"Don't be in such a hurry, Light. We'll get there."
Aizawa passes by behind him, and what?!
Aizawa passes by behind him. He is with his wife and daughter, and I freeze for a moment because I don't know how him seeing Johan could affect anything.
He first doesn't notice me, or that's how it appears, but once he sees me he deviates his way to talk to me. "Hey, Light. So you left early too," He looks at Johan, who is now standing by my side. The laugh I had finally conquered after such hard work gone, transformed to his all day long welcoming smile.
"Yeah, I'm with a friend," I motion towards Johan, who stretches his hand to Aizawa.
"Johan Liebet, nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too," Aizawa answers, and it all hits me. Is Aizawa here to check on the progress? Did L really put Johan up to this? I don't want to think that, but if he did... If he did, I've been acting like an idiot!
Johan goes on to shake the hands of Aizawas' wife and his daughter, all while I internally hate myself and plot Johan and L's death. I will kill them both, I will kill them together. I will line them up against the wall and make them do all sorts of things before I kill them. That's what they deserve.
"Wow, Light, who would have thought you actually have a life outside of work," Aizawa jokes.
"Well, we all do," I smile back. Back stabbing son of a-
"See you at work tomorrow then," he gives a small bow, "Johan," and another bow, and enters the restaurant with his family.
"A friend of yours?" Johan asks.
"Yeah, kind of." I walk away, towards the next bus station.
"Kind of?" He follows, giving another one of his looks, the ones that say you're lying. You're the only liar here, you- "Come to think of it, you've never talked to me about your friends."
"You've never asked," I answer flatly.
"I just did right now, and you denied him."
"I don't consider Aizawa my friend, he is my colleague."
"So who do you consider your friend?"
I play along, I'll make him think I'm the idiot, "You, Johan. You're the only person right now I could call a friend," maybe L is listening, "and maybe one more."
"That makes me happy," he smiles. "Are you ready? Do you still want to go?"
"Yeah, but if you don't mind, can we go somewhere of my choosing?"
"Whatever you want is fine with me, Light."
Now this is more like it, I like when he has this attitude. I'll find out for sure today, just who the hell this guy is.
Part 3:
I take him to an abandoned building, in a neighborhood that is mostly deserted where I am sure no city cameras have been placed. This will give me a slight advantage, the only way of seeing or hearing us will be anything he is bugged with, there's nothing else L can hack.
"Why did you bring me here? This place, it gets me sad."
"I just want to be sure no one will disturb us," I wonder the rooms of the old building to make sure we are alone, and wait for a few minutes to ensure we weren't followed.
"Is something bothering you?" He asks, following behind me as I look around. "You're not being your usual self."
What would you know about my usual self? I want to ask him, but I hold my tongue. Patience is a virtue, and if he really is working with L, I'll be able to say all that and more when I catch them red handed. "You might be right, Johan. This place is kind of sad."
"I'm the product of an experiment," I turn around because that did not sound like him at all. It sounded like an alien, like a robot. I prepare my eyes to meet someone else in the building, the one that just spoke, but there is no one else around. It was him, eyes straight on me, hands in his pockets, body the exact same as every other time I've seen him, but with something else.
I take a step back, I don't know what makes me do it, but I do. The glowing light that radiated from him with every word, with every smile, seems to get swallowed by a darkness that leaves in its path deep despair. I feel like, in this abandoned building, I am not with Johan, but with something else, something dark.
"What did you say?" I sound calm, way more steady than I feel, and I internally praise myself.
"What is the one thing that humanity has always wanted, but has never achieved?" He asks walking towards a window. Many things come to mind, but I keep quiet, this isn't a pop quiz, I need to hear these answers from him. "Perfection." He states, looking out into the night sky, eyes glittering with the stars. "I am the result of an experiment that took place in Germany, looking to create the perfect human race."
I walk towards him, "Johan, what are talking about?"
"I was taken from my mother's arms and studied like a lab rat. Time and time again, fixed to complete the dreams of others. They turned me into a monster." His voice changed when he spoke next, the most hurt I've ever heard him, "I lost my sister, the only one I had. The one thing that was still a clean part of me."
An unexplained feeling of uneasiness takes over me, but I do nothing about it. An experiment? To create the perfect human race? What is this? Who is this man? I look for the exits, make sure I have a way to get away fast if I had to. There's a pipe not to far away, I could swing that at his head, the street isn't too far after that.
"I can't understand what you're trying to say Johan, but I want to help you. Please," I reached out for him, "tell me everything that happened. From the beginning, so I can understand."
We talk for hours, he tells me everything, from the way his parents met, to when he escaped Germany. I try to find flaws, any tiny shake on his words or actions that could indicate a lie, but there is none. If L planned this, and L put him up to it, there's no surprise I can't find a mistake, just one question remains. Why is he telling me all this? What is the goal?
"You might wonder why I am telling you all this?" He asks, as if straight out of my mind. "I told you I would tell you the reason why I came to Japan, and everything I just told you is in the hope you won't judge me harshly when you hear the truth."
I remain silent, in moments like these it is way better to listen that to speak, don't want to make a mistake. L can use anything against me.
"You're so young Light, so pure. I wish you were older or maybe that I was younger. I would've loved to have someone like you throughout my life. Maybe things could have been different. After I tell you, you most likely won't want to see me again, since I think I have a pretty good idea of how you see life. I am prepared to accept that. Just know that being with you made me feel alive and... at peace. I really enjoyed our time together." He smiles, "Oh, how I wish you were older."
"Tell me," it escapes my teeth, the foul taste of urgency, and if anyone questions me about it later, i'll just say I was nervous.
He looks me straight in the eyes, hesitates for a moment, then blurs it out all at once, "I'm here looking for Kira."
My eyebrows frown, somehow that wasn't what I expected. Kira?! "Kira?!" I question.
"I've noticed the way you think. You must conclude that Kira is a murderer, but if you just let me explain-"
"He is a murderer!" What the hell are you doing L, putting me in this situation? Another one of your tests? But watch how it backfires on you! "I can't even... I'm sorry, I have to go."
I turn to leave, but he gently reaches for me and tuns me to face him, just like I knew he would. "Light, I need justice for all the people that hurt my sister, that hurt my mother, that destroyed our lives. Please try to understand."
"If you think Kira is justice you are wrong. Kira is a murderer, who needs to be stopped. If you're looking for him as your salvation, as if he's some sort of god then I'm sorry, but I can't agree with you. It is that sort of attitude that is making him what he is now, and it is that soft of attitude that I am working so hard to eradicate."
"I knew you would react this way, and please believe me, I never wanted to scare you. My only intention was to come clean to you, to hide nothing from you, because you are the only thing I have, Light."
"I don't know."
We stand there not doing much about it, almost ignoring each other's presence until I finally speak, "Well, it's really late. I have to go home."
"Will I see you again?"
"I'll call you."
He didn't say anything after that, just walked me to the bus station and sent me home.
Part 4: (L)
"Could it be possible that your son is interested in men?"
"What did you just say?!" Mr Yagami yells behind me, as I turn all available monitors to the image of the blond-haired-man paying for Light's bus ticket and seeing him off.
"How can you say something like that, Ryuzaki? Even for you-" Matsuda adds with an insulted tone.
"I've put up with many things, but don't you dare question my son's integrity!"
"I just asked if it could be possible that he is interested in men. What does that have anything to do with integrity?"
"My son has a girlfriend-"
"Who he always ignores. Yet he's spent every single available hour, even cut down on his time here, to be with this man." I spin my chair around a few times, then land facing him, "You have no idea who he is, do you?"
"No, I've never seen him before," Mr. Yagami agrees looking concerned. I don't blame him.
"Your son met him in a park not to long ago, they've been dating ever since."
"Dating?!"
"Call it what you want. "Hanging out" lets say. They've been going out to eat, going to the movies... It sounds like dating to me." I turn back to the screen, "Johan Liebert, born in Prague, thirty-two years old. Lived in Germany until 1998, ever since, he's been in Morocco, Paris, England, Spain. Very well off with one of his bank accounts topping three-hundred million dollars." I whistle, they stare mouths open. "He was born to a middle class family, his fortune came later investing in banks and other businesses. No marriage, which strikes me as odd given his social status, no children. Very well mannered, very smart, very good looking. The perfect catch don't you think?"
"Be serious, Ryuzaki."
"Oh, I am serious. Everything that I found on him was easy to come across, and I've tried digging deeper but there's nothing else. Nothing at all, just a normal person as far as the eyes can see. But..." On a few monitors I hack the cameras on the bus Light is taking, on the others I follow Johan as he makes his way down the dark streets. "But nothing in this sequence of events makes sense. What could he possibly want form an eighteen year old boy?"
"They must be just friends."
"I'm sorry to say this, but your fatherly instincts are blinding you to the obvious. Why would a thirty-two year old millionaire want to be friends with a middle class eighteen year old? From all the possibilities that come to mind, dating is the least of my worries. The one that makes sense, and is the least dangerous."
"Least dangerous?! You're saying that this man being after my son for ulterior motives is the least dangerous?!"
"Mr. Yagami, if Light doesn't want to keep going, he can just say no. On the other hand..."
"On the other hand, what?"
"If this has something to do with Kira, which I suspect it does, then having all this money and all this power could really be dangerous."
"You're still going on about that? How many ways do we have to prove to you that Light is innocent?"
"He isn't imprisoned, he isn't being denied any rights, but I have the right to suspect whoever I want for as long as I want, and do whatever I feel necessary to solve this case. Also, if this has something to do with Kira, I didn't mean the least dangerous for Light." I run my thumb against my mouth, pinch the bottom lip and end up chewing on it. I'm getting old, I'm getting tired, and this is getting worse. "I meant the least dangerous for all of us."
TBC...