Part 1

The light of the sun is disappearing behind the windows. The sounds of the keyboard Ryuzaki is typing into are making my head hurt, have they always been this loud? I don't think I've ever noticed them before.

"What is it, Light?" He asks, stopping his work and turning to me with wide-dark pupils. You're liar, a dirty liar I want to tell him, but I'll catch you in the act. He looks stupid, playing the innocent, sitting there like an idiot who doesn't know a thing. Everything about him is dirty, old, and some parts even gross. I don't even want to look at him, but there is still that name he has. That title he earned by burning down everyone's defenses or maneuvering his way around them, the thing he earned by being a manipulator and going as low as messing with a person's emotions. That title itself is the only worthy thing this man has, the rest of him is pitiable.

I remember when I'd get nervous around him, when he would make my heart race and my pores open with just his presence, with just a word. Now he's only the shadow of what he used to be, tired and mostly defeated. In times like these a part of me wants to keep him around, convince him of my innocence, make him give up on his futile quest. Make sure he moves to a far away place and exchange phone numbers for the occasional coffee and tennis game. Guess it's that tiny part of me that hasn't ordered Misa to start killing again. And then there's Johan, it's been six days since I last talked to him.

"I just have this nasty headache," I shut the computer off and pull away from the desk.

"Leaving already?" With that same 'I-know-nothing' tone he always tries to use. It didn't work the first one thousand times, it won't work now.

"Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow." I get up and stretch, pushing up on my toes. Sitting down for so long is tiring, my lower back is killing me.

"Light..."

I stretch my head from side to side, my neck, my head, my back, everything hurts. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Are you hungry? Want to go get something to eat?"

My mind goes blank, this is something I hadn't been expecting. If anything, he's been avoiding me these last few weeks. I have to think of something fast. What could be the best thing to do? Decisions like these shouldn't be made in a second, but then my phone rings and I'm off the hook, at least for now. It's things like these that make me believe the entire Universe really is on my side.

"Hold on," I hold up a finger and pull the phone out of my pocket. The screen reads Misa A, so without a second thought I hit ignore.

"Who was it?" His voice is soft and alluring. He's trying to pull me in just like he did before, with his words, with his mind tricks. Back then I had no memory of who I was. All I wanted was for him to believe me, a chance to prove myself to him, but I don't need any of that anymore.

There's this feeling of emptiness in my stomach and sudden chills in my spine. The feeling crawls up into my chest leaving it vacant of anything that isn't anxiety. It continues up my throat, and I have to fight it off to be able to answer his question, "Just Misa, she calls me all the time." I wonder if he noticed, but who am I kidding? I know he did, he always does. I need to be more careful. More than anything, I need to stop thinking about those kinds of things.

The relationship that L and I had back then was different. I know that at least in my part, I always tried to be true to him, even if it was only because I had given up my memories. However, he lied to me all along, he never saw me as anything that wasn't Kira. No matter how hard I tried to get close to him he never once gave me a chance, but in a way I'm glad for that. It makes killing him easier. It would have been a real tragedy if in the end I would've been forced to kill my only friend.

"You're planning on seeing her today?" He asks taking a sip of his coffee, making a face, and deciding to add a few more sugar cubes.

"Probably not," I put the phone back in my pocket. That's enough thinking about the past, I have to concentrate in the now.

"Then, do you want to go?"

I consider the possibilities, maybe I should, but maybe... I sigh, "I would love to go Ryuzaki, I really would, but I'm tired and-"

"Tired of the game?" He interrupts turning back to his computer. "Don't worry, I think I am too."

I roll my eyes, this is so old, "What game are you talking about?" My voice is just a little too loud, but I don't even regret it.

"You know exactly what game I'm talking about," he stares back at me with that very serious expression, the one he has when he saves a life or orders an execution, and I see it now, at least in his eyes. The spark of fury, the thing that is stopping me from reaching the glory. L is still alive, and I can't allow it to continue.

"I don't. I really don't understand half the things you say most of the time. So like always, I'll just ignore it," I walk towards the door. I do know exactly what he's saying. The pretend friendship, the smiles, the words, everything between him and I has been fake from the beginning, a game to see who cracks first, and he's cracking. He's cracking so horribly beautiful. I just have to be sure to stay in one piece.

"Have a good night, Light."

I turn around and see the little thing, the bothersome fly on my food that keeps getting in the way, the decay of flesh that I once admired as the world's greatest detective. He really is nothing at all, not anymore. "Goodnight, L."

PART 2:

On my way home I pop open my phone. Today I only have eleven missed calls from Misa, she must have been busy. I go to his number and stare at it, but what can I do? How can I catch him in the act? I should set a trap, but what if he really has nothing to do with L? But he must... I want to talk to him. Regardless, I want to talk to him again. I don't have any one else to talk to... I shut the phone. What am I thinking? I've never needed anyone and I sure as hell don't need someone now that I am above humanity itself.

I pass by the same park, the one where I met him, but he's no where around. Of course not, I practically told him to stay away.

"Ugh!" I take my phone out again. It's better to find out already, to just catch him now. I dial his number and hold my breathe. It doesn't take him long to answer, and for a moment I question if I did the right thing.

"Light?"

"Yeah," I smile into the speaker. A nervous laugher, but disguised as a sign of happiness, "it's me."

"I'm so glad you called, for a moment I thought you really wouldn't," he sounds relieved, which makes me feel as if I have the upper hand. I try to pick up other sounds, any signals that could prove that he is a fraud just like L- just like everybody else- but there is nothing. "Can I see you?"

"Tomorrow at eight, lets have dinner." If L really is behind this, that should give him enough time to formulate a plan, and that's when I'll catch them.

"That sounds great, where do you want us to meet?"

"I'll call you tomorrow, to see what we feel like having." And now something corny, "I've missed talking to you." That should do the trick.

"It's been lonely without you."

I want to be happy he said that. I want to believe he is real. Without knowing about it I smirk, and feel endlessly stupid for it. "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Light. Have a good night."

"You have a good night too."

PART 3:

Seeing him again isn't like seeing him before. The most prominent thing on my mind as he goes on about how much he's missed seeing me is I am going to kill you, I am going to get you, you will regret this, and when he notices I am not entirely paying attention, his eyes do this thing that makes my chest hurt.

I believe he is disappointed with our meeting. If he is working for L, then he must be because he isn't getting a single thing out of me, he knows I don't trust him. And if he has nothing to do with L, then I really don't know what he's thinking. Either way it's time for the truth.

"Let's go talk somewhere else."

He pays for the meal leaving an incredibly huge tip and once again we are walking through the streets on our way to a remote destination.

I have to be very careful, but my plan should work. If I'm questioned later, I can say he did everything willingly and all I wanted was to be sure I wasn't being lied to. After all, no one likes being full of doubts. Especially from someone who is supposed to be close to you.

I take him to a hotel room. He gives me a look, but doesn't say much more as he follows me inside. This place was chosen completely arbitrary, so there is no way that L can have any direct connections in here, no way to see exactly what is happening.

I lock the door and make sure that the curtains are full closed, then get ready for what is coming. I take a deep breath. If I really want this to work and to look the least bit suspicious, I have to do it right. So I'll just flat out ask.

"Johan," his name is the first word either of us has spoken since we left the restaurant.

"Yes, Light?" I look at him and the situation kind of hits me for the first time. There is a bed behind him, and we are both locked in a hotel room. I want to laugh but don't find the strength to. So many people would interpret this wrong, and that is perfect. If anybody asks me, Light, why did you take him to a hotel room? Why did you corner him like that? I'll just say...

"Take off your clothes."

I sound completely dominant, absolutely no doubt on my mind. He on the other hand is petrified, eyes shocked open and frozen face.

He blinks away the words, "What?"

"You heard me," I take a step forward and then another, until I am standing at arms reach. "Take your clothes off."

He stares at me as if trying to read me. There's a sudden spark in his eyes. I think I see what maybe could have formed into a smile, but it goes away before I catch it completely. "If that is what you want."

He takes off his coat and places it on the bed. Then he starts at the buttons of his shirt. I stare carefully, thoroughly, looking for any wires and chips, any type of devices that could have been placed by him.

The shirt falls to the floor, there's nothing yet.

He unbuttons his pants and lowers the zipper. I keep looking as they also fall, revealing that nothing was hidden there, but we are still not done.

He stops and stares at me as if saying, what now? To which I reply, "all of your clothes."

The air around the room has gotten thicker. It's hard to breathe under stress, I figured that out a long time ago. He looks at me straight in the eyes as he reaches for the hem of his boxers but doesn't complain, doesn't tell me to stop, which is perfect. If he is working for L, and L questions me later on this, he'll have nothing to go on. Johan never voiced he didn't want to do anything. Was I supposed to read his mind? As fucked up as it sounds that's the way the law is. As long as you find the loop hole, you are free to do whatever you want. That isn't justice, and that's exactly the reason why I must prevail.

The boxers fall to his ankles and he steps out of them.

He is naked in front of me, absolutely nothing to cover him, and it appears that he has nothing to hide. No microphones, no wires. A spark of hope is born in my brain, but there's still one more thing. I can't leave anything to chance, so I have to be precise.

"Squat down," I am not asking, it is an order. His eyebrows frown and for the first time he looks like he might have a problem. He tries to ask something, but I cut him off with a hand to his hair. I play with the stands between my fingers. Steady, steady, everything is going so well, don't make things worse. "Squat down please," I repeat, this time in a nicer tone, fingers touching his cheek lightly.

He doesn't talk back. He lowers himself down until he is squatting in front of me. I squat down too.

"Now cough."

His face changes from worried to a sign of relief, as if he finally gets what is happening. I don't know if I should be relieved or worried. He coughs once, and then louder, and then one more time.

There is nothing.

"Do you want me to keep going?" He asks with a smile, his usual self is back which kind of makes me smile too.

I pick up his clothes from the floor and go through them. I check the pockets, the sides, I flip them inside out. Then I check his coat. I go back to him and look into his ears, his nose. I tell him to open his mouth and when he does, he sticks out his tongue and crosses his eyes.

That makes me laugh out loud.

"I'm trying to be serious here, Johan."

"I know. That is precisely why I am trying to make you smile, your Divine Grace."

I stop with his words, "What did you just call me?"

He slowly stands back up. I am so threatened that I kind of want to yell at him to get back down. "You did all of this because you are going to reveal to me that you are Kira, Correct?" I shake my head ready to deny it all the way to the grave, but he stops me. "There's no need for you to keep hiding. I've been looking for you all of this time."

I was... I really was going to tell him if he could prove he wasn't involved with L, but suddenly I don't want to. I want to deny everything, I want to run away.

He gets on his knees, "Your Grace please do not feel threatened. I have traveled from far away to serve you. I know that you were put in this world for a reason. I want to aid you in your cause. Please, use me as you see fit. My life is yours."

"You need to get up. I am not Kira," is the only thing I can say. It's my automatic defense mechanism. I am so used to saying those words over and over to L.

"Light, do you really thing I just bumped into you at the park that day for no reason? That I went up to you just because? I have been watching you. I've used my influences to find out everything that I could about you. I knew you had to be in the Kanto region of Japan, that you had to be someone that had access to police information, and that you had to be a student. When the other Kira emerged, I knew it couldn't be you. Your reasons for punishing where as different as black and white. When he got caught I knew that you would resuscitate from the ashes, so I showed myself to you."

I am completely shocked, just who the hell is this guy? He has no tracking devices, no microphones. There's no way this room is bugged, I am sure of it. There is nothing in his record that shines with a red flag, so who the hell is he?

I want to run but I am frozen solid.

I reach into the pocket of my jeans and grasp the piece of the note book I always carry with me. It calms me down to know I have what it takes to get rid of him if I must.

"You're wondering how I found you," he continues. "Money can be very helpful when it comes to these things. Sadly, mostly everybody has a price. Honestly, I just took a wild guess and hit the jack pot. Take into consideration that I am not L, I don't need evidence to confirm you are Kira. I just feel it in my heart. That's why I am here."

"But I am not Kira," I mumble so low that even I don't believe myself.

He gets up reaching for my hand, "You are Kira, and I am devoted to you for it." I am still shaking my head. "I will prove my worth to you."

"Let go of me."

"Light, stop it. Don't fight me... not me." He takes me in his arms, something I didn't expect. He holds me to him as I shake for some reason. Could I be scared? "You don't have to be afraid, I am here for you. From now on you are not alone, you have me. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. Tell me how to prove myself and I'll do it."

"What do you want in return?" If they ask me later, I can just say I was trying to get information from this psycho. I'll deny everything 'till the end.

"What I want?" He repeats as if the question is silly, "I want to serve you and be near you. I want to be a part of your world. That is all."

"But why?"

It takes him a moment but he finally answers, his hands still soft around me, "because I've seen you erased from this world some of the worse vermin that have ever set foot in it. Because I know you have what it takes to make a better world. Because I see you and I want to help you. Because I know that you don't want me to leave either. Because you need someone Light, you can't do everything on your own, it'll drive you mad." I lean into his neck, and as twisted as it seems, I feel safe. There's something about this man that changes everything about me. "Let me take all of that away from you. From now on I will carry your burdens, so don't worry anymore. Everything will be okay."

Part 4:

I wake up with a headache, and no matter how I look at it, there's no way I'll make it to headquarters on time. Not surprisingly, my father is also still home. As I come down the stairs- on my way to hopefully the largest cup of coffee I've ever had- I rub my eyes and get ready for the questionnaire. I'm not even surprised by it.

"You came home really late last night." He is preparing coffee too, two spoons of sugar, two of creamer. He looks as if, just like me, he only got a few hours of sleep. Not fully rested, but no where as bad as a few weeks ago. At least he is well shaved, but there is a hint of uncertainty on his face. I'm sure L must have something to do with it. I wonder what they've been talking about while I am not there. I shouldn't spend that much time outside of headquarters. Now that everything is settled with Johan, things should go in the right direction fast.

I can't say I trust him one-hundred percent, but he's allowed me to wire him with microphones and a chip to know exactly where he is and who he is talking to at all times. He bought everything himself, and we didn't leave the hotel room until I was sure there was no way he could contact L without me finding out about it.

Just as a precaution anyways, I ordered Misa to write his death description on the notebook. If anything happens, all I have to do is signal for her to write his name in and he'll die in an accident, leaving no trace behind that could link him to me.

"Yeah, I was out with a friend," I answer him, reaching for a cup in the cupboard and a spoon from the silverware tray. I thought about it all night, and the best course of action is to just say the truth. Most likely L knows where I was anyway. "Took longer than I expected. I didn't mean to worry you."

He stirs his coffee, looking into it with deep dark eyes. I grab the coffee pot and pour. I know he wants to keep asking questions, so it's better if I ask first, "what is it dad? Did something happen?

He looks up at me, and as much as I know I am superior, I still feel small compared to his persona. He is also still taller than me, which doesn't aid in the cause. "Light, you would never hide anything important from me, would you?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"You've been meeting up with a man... A much older man."

"Oh..." I laugh it out. "You're talking about Johan. Yes, as a matter of fact I was with him last night." If I hide anything it will make me looks suspicious. Why would I hide a friend? I put the coffee pot back in the coffee maker and head for the sugar.

"What were you two doing?"

"Talking. You know, I like his company. He makes for very good conversation."

"So you stayed out with him until three in the morning?"

I give him a look, because that's what he expects me to do. "Dad, what are you thinking?" He doesn't say anything, so that's enough answer, "don't tell me that... Dad, what? No!" I act infuriated because that's what I'm supposed to be. "Did you not hear the part where his name is Johan, so he is obviously a man."

"I know, but your behavior-"

"What behavior? Wanting to hang out with someone that isn't related to the taskforce? I thought you told me I should get out more. Weren't you the one that told me I needed to take a break every once in a while? For what? So you can get after me for doing it?"

"No Light," He looks hurt, so I know my work here is done. "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you."

I let out a breath of air, making it look as if I feel bad too. "No, I'm sorry Dad. I should have never talked to you like that. You are my father and deserve my respect at all times. I am sorry for raising my voice."

We both look away, not sure what else were supposed to say, but here we stand still until he continues. "Light, you know that you are my pride and joy, right?"

I chuckle, "please dad, don't embarrass me."

He places both of his hands on my shoulders and I look up at him. His eyes are full of hope, as if looking at his most prescious treasure. It makes me feel better. As stupid as it sounds, approval from my parents has always made me feel good. It was the times they were the most proud of me that I've been the happiest.

"When you were a baby and I held you in my arms for the very first time, I knew there was something about you." he says, looking into my eyes, brushing my hair away from my forehead with his fingers. "I knew that one day you would be someone great." You have no idea. "And I know you will son. And I really am sorry you are spending your good years stuck in an office instead of enjoying your life-"

"No, Dad. I am doing this because I want to, because Kira needs to be stopped. So don't feel bad about it." I grip both of his arms with my hands, and give an encouraging squeeze. "You raised me right, you know?"

He gives me a hug. Two of those in a row, that's something I don't see very often, but his hug is different from Johan's.

With Johan I wasn't hiding anything, he was hugging who I really am.

My father will only hug me until it is time for him to order my execution, so I know I should cherish this moment a lot more.

Part 5

"What have you been telling my father?" My voice is sturdy when I ask. He may be the boss around here, but that doesn't give him the right to meddle into all of our lives. Any court could see that. So of course I should be outraged that he has been talking about me to my father behind my back. It's okay to act the part.

"Oh, hey Light. How is everything going? You're late you know-"

"I don't have a specific time to be here because I am not payed by the hour. And that isn't the real problem!"

He pouts his lips, tilts his head to the side. Every time he acts so stupid I want to go up to him and punch him in the face. "So there is a problem?" He asks.

"What have you been telling my father?" I am loud, so much that Matsuda and Aizawa rush into the room, which is good. Now they are witnesses that can tell my father how angry I was by the false accusations. All of this will look good on me in the end.

"I don't understand your question."

"He looked tired this morning so I asked him what was going on. He told me I've been seeing an older man-"

"Which you have."

"Which he wouldn't have figured out on his own because he doesn't spy on me."

Everybody turns to look at him. He lets out a sigh and turns back to his computer to avoid the glares.

"You are still spying one me." I turn to the other two, "all of you."

"You gave us permission to do what we saw fit for this investigation."

"The investigation is over. Kira is dead! What else are you spying on?" I take a very strong step towards him, my shoes hit the floor hard. "You know what I think, L? I think you need help, because you are obsessed with me."

"Do you really think so?"

"You see things that aren't there, you make up things that don't exist."

"The Kira that appeared first and the Kira that we caught are two entirely different people, anybody with a brain can make that distinction. So who is the original Kira, Light? Why don't you confess that it is you?"

I shake my head, the thing I've learned to do the most in these situations. "You are crazy!"

"Answer the question."

"You are sick L." The room is quiet, no one dares to move a single muscle. Yet again this man is against me, but this time he has nothing, nothing at all. "You don't need to solve this case, what you need is a therapist. You need help."

He doesn't even look at me, doesn't look at anybody else. He sits there, face half covered in darkness by his hair. He has nothing to go on, nothing to say. He's like a dog lost in the middle of the sea, alone in the vast space, all he can do is keep kicking to try to stay a float. There is no evidence against me, understand that. You will never be able to catch me.

"If anyone here must know... if it really is my duty to have to disclose all of my personal life-" I shout to the room.

"Please Light, you don't have to-" Matsuda starts, but I raise my hand for him to zip it.

"I have a friend who I've been spending time with and whom I hold in very high regards." I keep looking at L, but he is still not looking at me. "His name is Johan, he is thirty-two years old. I like spending time with him, I didn't know that was a crime."

L finally looks up. There is fury in his eyes, he knows that I am lying out of my teeth, but he can't do a thing about it. Prof... I want to tell him. Prove it to me, but you can't do that can you? You can't do a thing!

"This Johan isn't just anybody," He says. "He is a millionaire with powerful friends in world wide companies and banks. Don't you think it's a bit odd that he would want to befriend someone like you out of nowhere?"

"Someone like me?" And I can't believe he just said that. This is so perfect, he just dug his own grave. He finally let his anger get to him, and he slipped and said something so stupid. "Is it because I don't have money? Do you think that just because I come from a house that didn't have everything handed to them and has to work hard for what we have, that I am someone that a millionaire could never consider?"

"That isn't what I meant and you know it."

I won't give you a chance to correct your slip of the tongue, "Now I understand why you don't have any friends."

It's a low blow, I know. I've been lonely, and so has he. We don't fit in with the rest of the world so we seclude ourselves, we're misfits, but that doesn't mean we like it. His eyes open wide with my words, he winces as if I've just punched his stomach. He is alone, and will be alone, and will die alone, but I won't. I have someone now. I have him.

I walk out of there fast, no one tries to stop me.

I want to laugh out loud. L's face was priceless, but as I turn he corner my father comes into view and I have to hold everything in. You'll laugh later, you'll laugh later. Control yourself for now.

I didn't know he would be here, so I am a little taken a back.

"Son," His voice is soft, which kind of scares me. He still looks down, even worse than this morning. What happened now? He looks at me and smiles, but that shadow of pain is still over his face. "I was thinking maybe you could bring your friend over for dinner one of these days. I realize I've been judging you and him for no reason. If he really means so much to you, the family should get to know him."

Did L put him up to this? No, they haven't even seen each other yet. Maybe through the phone? I am not sure, but I can't really say no, can I? It will make me look like I really am hiding something. And why not? After all, having Johan around could end up being very helpful, and what better way to evade suspicion than by bringing him around my dad and my whole family itself. We really will be close friends, not having only an outside relationship like we've had until now.

"Really Dad? I can bring him?"

"Of course," he says throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Any friend of my son is a friend of mine."

"In that case, that would be great." He smiles and the shadow that was around his face seems to dissolve. I guess he was feeling bad for the way he's been behaving towards me. He loves me, after all, he is my father. "I'll ask him tonight."

"Alright son."

He is my father and I am his son, and when the time comes, we will be the worst of enemies. I still don't know how I will react that day. I just hope I am never put in a position where I have to kill the man who gave me life.

TBC...

Next chapter Johan meets Sayu and we all know just how bad things can get. I guess next chapter is where the story really "kicks off" so stay tuned.