Why hello there my lovely readers that I call kittens! I just wanted to inform you that, YES! I'M STILL ALIVE! I've just been insanely busy, like you have no idea -.- uuggghhh. Well, anyways, I'm at my dad's right now. So that means I can do what I want, as long as it's legal :P so I'm going to post a SHORT chapter. If you would like to know why this chapter is so SHORT, come find me at the bottom of the chapter...which is SHORT! Ok, that's over and done with. Now run along and read your wittle kitty hearts out. XD
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I'm sitting silent, and all alone on the concrete ground. It's chilly out here, I'm still in only my boxers, the chilled air is hitting my back in an uncomfortable manner, and it's quiet, except for the sounds of the wind. My body has been in this condition for about half an hour now, I know what's waiting for me inside that apartment, and I do not wish to go to it. I wish I were with Sebastian, rather I would only see him for a short period of time and tired, then not at all. It doesn't matter, I just want to be around him, because without him, I have nothing. To be honest, without him, I am nothing.
My constant attention from my bare chest and bare back makes me shiver profusely, and I find myself succumbing to my body's desire for warmth and sanctuary, despite my heart's futile attempts to not be alone. Slowly, I reach my numb hand outward, and grasp the metal railing. My legs begin to shake as I try to raise myself up, I don't want to do this. Sebastian, come back, please come back. Bring the car back into my view and step out so you can tell me this was all a sick, twisted joke. Please...I want you back, no I need you back. By the time I've risen to my feet, I had already decided that it would be no use, Sebastian was gone, and I must accept that. My feet feel like it were bound by shackles as I inch my way closer towards the wide opened door to our apartment. It's going to be so quiet here, how will I make it without him?
It's silent when I walk past the door, just as I expected. Everything looks to be the same, except there's an empty feeling roaming around the air. When I close the door, and secure it by its' lock, that is when I truly feel my heart sink. Two days... I'll never make it...Two days…it'll never arrive…Two nights, without him in my sight. It saddens me to a fright. Unbearable silence now fills my atmosphere, I'm standing in the vacant living room, staring at the couch Sebastian had me bent over just a day ago. It's strange how one day can feel like eternity when you're by yourself...Oh no! I spin on my heel to the direction of our unoccupied television, the sudden realization hitting me all at the same time. Mom and dad saw everything! Resting on our entertainment center, sat a picture of my parents, a box of their wedding rings in front of the picture. "I'm sorry you had to see that mom and dad. But, I assure you, Sebastian is taking great care of me." I've now reached my parents bands, and their picture. It was one they took on their wedding day. My mom in a delicate white dress, a white veil covering her hair slightly. Her left hand placed tenderly over my father's cheek, his own hand grasping her wrist. Both of their blue eyes are filled with love, and their thin lips showing their happiness. My parents loved each other so much, they knew that from the moment they first met, they were destined to be married. "Hi mom, hi dad... I can't believe it's been eight years already..." My fingers delicately dance around the wooden frame as I say those words. I can feel the tears rising in my eyes, and I let them fall, no one is here to see this. I can still remember that day piece by piece, event after event, playing like a horror movie in my head. I can't get any of it out of my mind. The heat I felt when I was so close to the roaring flames, the scent of smoke filling my nose, the stinging in my eyes and smoke, and horror filled tears were held in my eyes... Even the shrieks of my parents being engulfed by fire still left a permanent stain in my mind. These horrors can never escape me, that nightmare will never end. I will never be at peace, even if my parents are, and have been for almost a decade, the pain I endured from that day shall forever be with me.
My legs have decided to stop shaking and just give up all together, and because of that memory, I've fallen to my knees. "I'm sorry.." Is all I can weep out. My hands cup to my sobbing face, my body trembling over my past, my tears flooding into an overwhelming stream. "I couldn't save you!" My voice cries out, I hope they can hear me from up there, I want them to hear what I've had holding for eight years. "I tried to save you...I really did….I tried so hard...But everything was locked, there was no way I could get in...there was nothing I could do to save you!" I gave them a long pause, not because I wanted to, but because I had to breathe. "I couldn't do anything.." I hushed my voice, my now burning throat demanded to keep me silent. But I refused, I ignored every painful sting until my conscious was cleared. "But watch as the flames could only get bigger, and listen as you guys were being...burned..." A choke for breath was all it took for me to start sobbing again. Sebastian, Sebastian! Please...come back here! I need you so bad! Don't leave me...I don't ever want to be alone again! I can't help myself, and the tears return to my eyes. Pull it together Ciel! You're a grown man now, you shouldn't be crying over something that happened so long ago! But again I cannot help myself. I loved my parents very much, and I still do love them, and they roasted in the flames. I love Sebastian too, more than anything on this earth, I don't want to lose him forever like I did my parents... That's why I wanted to go with him, so I could be near him, and make sure that he's ok. Because if something happens to him...what will I do?
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Ok, let me be the out there and say that if I get one review saying this chapter was short… You deserve a PM that states how oblivious you are. Honestly, I mentioned it would be short, dramatic, but short. I also mentioned that I'll explain why. Here's why. I have been busy in terms of writing. Me, and my friend Lexxie have been writing many fanfictions together. One of them is already posted on right here, on ! It's called "Ciel: A most reluctant bride" or something like that. And in this fanfiction, which is written in a modern time period, Ciel is nine-teen, with the profession of a model. Sebastian, however, is the Prince of the country they live in. The country happens to be England, unless I'm horribly wrong, I'll be corrected otherwise. So monarchy still occurs in this story, and Ciel happens to end up at a ball the prince is hosting. Now I won't spill too much beans, but Ciel ends up marrying Sebastian (he's forced to). That's kind of where the name came from…..yeah….
Also! I wrote my own little one shot. I was doing an experiment, a challenge for myself, I wanted to see if I could write a story that's 100% dialogue. It only took a few hours to complete, and my feedback was "It was like I'm in a hentai!", "I felt like I was eavesdropping on them during sex…." but they also mentioned that it was good. So, if you're interested in reading this, please PM me stating that you want to read this. I wish I could post this on the site, but apparently there are trolls that will delete my account without warning… I don't know if what I was told was true or not, but I think it's better to be safe, then sorry….