The Talk
It was clear I was suffering from information overload, my God no wonder he's such a mess, anyone would be after going through all that and he's not even 30 yet.
I read and reread the email and I still wasn't sure what I was going to do. This certainly wasn't a vase of flowers and a card saying I'm sorry. I needed breakfast, breakfast made things much more clear, I hoped. Elliot came out; I guess he could smell coffee and bacon. "Morning Elliot." He yawned a response or I think it was a response.
"So what's the plan this morning banana," Elliot asked as he poured himself some coffee. For some reason, he'd asked that every morning.
"Going to see your brother." Elliot choked a little on his coffee.
"Why now." I hadn't really made a decision until Elliot asked and as for why now, I couldn't just ignore that email. The man poured his heart out. I guess he found it after all.
"It would appear your brother does have a heart, despite what he says." Elliot looked confused. "He sent me an email last night, telling me everything. "What exactly were you going to do to Elena Lincoln." I believe that was the pedophiles' names. Elliot just chuckled.
"I don't know, but I'm glad my mom stopped me, chances are I would have killed the bitch." I nodded.
"Oh, I don't know a bald patch seems more appropriate." Elliot cracked up laughing at that.
"God my mom did some damage, there were bits of blood on the end. I don't think the hair on that patch will grow back." Well good for Grace. I thought.
The drive to Escala was more than nerve racking. I called Taylor informing him I was on my way. So I wasn't surprised to find him waiting for me at the elevator.
"Taylor." He just smiled at me and shook his head. I guess he was still thinking about SIP. He didn't tell me Christian was coming and I didn't tell him I was the reason Roach changed his mind. I'm still not 100 percent sure about that decision.
Taylor knocked on the door of Christian's office. The response was surprisingly soft.
"Sir, Miss Steele is here." You couldn't miss the sharp intake of breath. I made my way round Taylor and stepped inside his office.
"Ana." Was all I got before he broke down crying. I heard the door softly click behind me, guess I was on my own. Despite everything I wanted to hug him, comfort him. But with his fear of touch I wasn't sure it was such a good idea. Well, the decision was made for me when he hugged me.
My legs have gone to sleep, Christian finally feel asleep after almost an hour crying and begging forgiveness. I'm a long way from forgiveness, but we do need to talk about what happened. He's lost weight, not a lot, but he's lost weight none the less, his hair is ridiculously overgrown but the most prominent feature is how tired he looks. Somehow I didn't notice this yesterday. Anger has a way of overriding everything else. Gail pops her head in asking if I need anything. "Yeah, I need to stretch my legs." She smiles and comes in; she gently lifts Christians head off my thighs, so I can get up. God, that feels good.
"Is there anything I can get you?" Gail asks.
"I've got some manuscripts in the car." Before I can finish my sentence. Taylor pops out of nowhere and asks for my car keys.
I sit on the floor by Christians' head, watching him sleep. I run my fingers through his hair just as he whispers my name. For the first since meeting him he looks his age.
My stomach rumbles loudly, I can't be hungry already, I had a huge breakfast, but I look at the time and I realize I've been sat here reading manuscripts for the last 5 hours and Christian is still asleep. I make my way to the kitchen to get something to eat. "Hello Ana, what can I get for you?"
"Whatever you have going is fine."
Gail's chicken and dumpling stew is the best I've ever tasted. I am thoroughly enjoying my food when we hear a scream followed by my name. Christian bolts out of the office and immediately relaxes when he sees me. I raise my eyebrows at him.
"I thought you left." Off cause he did.
"No Grey, I'm still here." He sits on the stool beside me and steals the juiciest piece of chicken; I was saving that for last. "Excuse me, get your own. I was saving that."
"It looked juicy." Duh.
"That's why I was saving it." Gail puts a bowl in front of him; he clearly knows what I'm thinking so moves it out of my reach. "One day, Grey, One day." The smile on his face is a mile wide; it takes me a few seconds to realize what I said. One day meaning, he will see me again.
If I thought I was nervous, I've got nothing on Christian. I don't recognize the guy sitting in front of me; he is a bag of nerves.
"How bad did I hurt you?" At least he's straight to the point.
"There was a tear of the wall of the vagina." I sound like a medical textbook, but it's the only way I'm going to get through this. He nods. "Apparently it's not uncommon, it often occurs during sex, especially if it's your first time. But it's usually superficial with little bleeding and heals on its own." He knows where I'm going with this.
"But yours wasn't." I shake my head.
"On the way home I noticed the bleeding hadn't stopped, I guess Taylor immediately knew something was wrong and took me to the hospital. After the surgery, I was reluctant to tell the doctor what happened considering I'd signed the NDA. So when she started talking about getting me help if I was being abused and cops and God knows what else. I had no choice but to explain what happened and why I was reluctant. And the fact that my wrist had your hand print didn't help matters. "
He doesn't say anything for a long time, so I carry on; he needs to understand why I was so angry and hurt. "You asked to make love to me." He looks at me confused. "After you asked me if I wanted to rectify the situation." He looks ashamed. "When I reminded you that you said you only fucked hard. You said we'd try a combination of the two. I don't know much, but what happened wasn't a combination of the two. It seemed to be the later."
He nods again. "BDSM is all I've known. Then you came along and change came with it, I felt out of control and instead of doing what I always do." He takes a deep breath. "Ana, I avoided anything and anyone that gave me that feeling even my own family. After the night at the Heathman, I thought just maybe I can do this. Then finding out you were a virgin threw me.
I shouldn't have given you the option to stay. I should have been honest with myself and admitted I was no good for you, but I was selfish and told myself I'd already tried staying away it didn't work so I gave in.
In my bedroom, all these emotions and feelings started working its way to the surface and the more I tried to squash it, the more I felt out of control. So I reverted back to what I'd always known, fucking hard. I never meant to hurt you and certainly not the point where you required surgery."
"What do you do when you hurt your subs?" Well, today he seems quick on the uptake and barely whispers his answer.
"I take care of them, make sure they are alright."
"And yet you asked Taylor to take me home." He doesn't look at me when he answers.
"I didn't think you wanted to be around me when you came out of the bathroom you couldn't even look at me or talk to me." Really, that's his reason.
"What was I suppose to say, thanks for a not so lovely evening, Mr Grey. And to add insult to injury, the first form of communication I get from you. It's a letter from your legal department telling me the NDA was null and void. But at the same time telling me, it was in my best interest to shut up." His head whips up so fast it's a wonder it's still attached to his neck.
"What?"
"You didn't know?"
"Yes, they were meant to tell the NDA was null and void. That's all, nothing else. In fact, I wrote the letter, but for it to be valid it had to go through legal." He gets up and goes to his office and comes back with a piece of paper and hands it to me. It's the letter he wrote. He apologizes and tells me to forget about the NDA.
"This is not what I got."
"Fuck Anastasia, I'm so sorry, I know it doesn't cut it."
"You goddamn right it doesn't cut. Sorry is what Kate says when she fills the apartment with smoke from yet another attempt at cooking." He looks contrite, then says.
"I got there, though, in the end."
"Yeah what changed?" He smiles before he answers.
"Roach."
"Aah" is all I can say.
"Ana, what the hell was Roach going on about the circumstances of your promotion?" Guess another thing Taylor kept from him.
"Oh yeah, Jack Hyde."
AN: In the UK, if the hospital suspects abuse and you don't convince them otherwise in most cases we have to call the authorities. It's the policy in my local hospital. I don't know if it's the same for the US. I hope this clears up what Christian thought he heard.