A/N: I feel really bad about the delay in posting. Unfortunately family obligations have kept me very busy and I've had barely any time to write. I don't see things settling down with the holiday season coming up, so the next (and possibly last) chapter of this part will be posted in two weeks.

Special Thanks to my beta, Delucababe!

This has nothing to do with the negative reviews I received when I first started. You all have been very supportive and I really appreciate the kindness.

I'm adding a 'suicidal thoughts/attempt' warning to this chapter. It's very quick, and Penny's not fully aware of what she's doing.

Chapter Three

When Penny got home from Nebraska she went straight to her room and crawled into bed even though it was only about two o'clock in the afternoon. She slept the rest of the day away, and all night, and woke to Sheldon knock, knock, knocking on her door. He brought her breakfast in bed and then excused himself to get some work done.

Penny forced herself to get up and go to the bathroom. She looked at the shower and knew she needed to wash the airplane funk off her skin, but she was just too tired. It felt like someone was pushing down on her shoulders as she carried her breakfast dishes down to the kitchen. She put them in the sink, but didn't rinse them out. Sheldon would probably bitch at her later about it, but she was just too tired to care.

She made it to the couch and flipped aimlessly through trashy daytime television. It sucked. She gave it a good half hour before giving up on that distraction. She shut the television off and turned to look out a window. It was cloudy and drizzling rain. An all-around gray day and it fit her mood perfectly.

Her contemplation of the weather was interrupted by Sheldon poking his head in to ask if she had eaten lunch. Penny's eyes flew to the clock on the DVR and was shocked to see nearly four hours had passed since she first sat down to watch television. Her body was stiff when she got to her feet and Sheldon ended up heating some soup and splitting it with her.

Sheldon was in a chatty mood and seemed completely oblivious to her silence.

"We'll have to ask Leonard if he has anything for the garage sale this weekend," he said and Penny blinked at him as she tuned in for the first time since she sat down to eat.

"What? The garage sale isn't until the first weekend of April..." she trailed off as Sheldon gestured to the Avengers calendar that hung on the refrigerator.

Was it really April already? When had Penny begun losing track of time like this?

"Oh. Okay, well I guess I'll ask him when we skype tonight," she said and finished off her soup.

Sheldon tilted his head at her in confusion. "Penny, Leonard gets home tonight. We won't need to skype, he'll be here," he reminded her.

"Right. I forgot. I'm sorry Sheldon, with everything that's happened I feel like I'm struggling to remember everything," she confessed.

He nodded. "Like bathing?"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't look at me like that. You hair is dirtier than I've ever seen it and you are starting to smell. If I didn't know better I'd say you were addicted to a computer game again."

Penny just rolled her eyes.

Sheldon had washed the dishes from that morning and was now washing their lunch dishes. Part of her realized it wasn't fair to let him do it all, but she was just so tired. She would help out more once she got through whatever it was that making her feel this way. She wondered if she was getting a cold or something.

After Sheldon went back to work, Penny dug through the refrigerator for a water bottle but instead found a half-empty wine bottle. She still didn't feel up to a shower, but having a glass of wine while taking a bath sounded doable.

Penny knew she needed to make some kind of effort with her appearance. This would be the first time in almost three months that she and Leonard would be seeing each other in person and not through the computer.

Shouldn't I be excited to see my husband again?

The thought continued to bother her until she was in the bathtub and half-way through her third glass of wine. The alcohol seemed to ground her and she came to the conclusion that she was only a little down because of the funeral. She would perk back up soon and everything would be fine.

One more glass of wine later, Penny felt better than she had in days. She shaved her legs and took extra time on her hair and make-up. She even put on a nice, clean dress instead of her normal apparel of jeans and whatever t-shirt didn't smell. She had a depressing moment when she just couldn't get the first dress she wanted to wear to zip up. It had always fit her pretty snug, and it reminded Penny that she had stopped her rigorous work-outs soon after marrying Leonard. It hadn't been a conscious decision, but she had just been so busy that first week after they were married. After skipping one work-out it became easier and easier to continue skipping until she just ended up stopping altogether.

She studied her reflection with a critical eye. Her body was definitely softer than it had been a year ago, but she wasn't fat. Still, it wouldn't hurt to start a new workout routine. It might help her to feel better, and after she firmed up a bit she could renew her job searching with a bit more confidence. Penny grabbed her empty wine glass and headed downstairs feeling cautiously optimistic about the future.

Leonard was late. Penny and Sheldon waited up for him, chatting and watching old Star Trek episodes until well after midnight. Sheldon eventually gave up and went to bed. Penny waited another half-hour and was about to just go to bed too when Leonard finally came through the door.

"Why are you still up?"

These were the first words her husband spoke to her in person in almost three months. It felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Leonard winced at her wounded expression and opened his arms to hug her. Penny tried to push the hurt down and stepped into his arms hiding her face in his chest. She took a breath, but instead of the comforting scent of his familiar aftershave he smelled different... Less spicy and more.. fruity?

She pulled back in confusion.

"You smell different," she said.

Leonard flushed and looked away. "Yeah, I uh, ran out of my body wash and had to use the hotels this morning."

"Oh, okay," Penny responded and leaned forward to kiss him.

Leonard turned his head at the last second so that her lips landed on his cheek instead of his lips.

Again, Penny stepped away in confusion.

"Wha... Leonard, are you okay?" she asked.

He let out an exaggerated yawn and stretched. "I'm fine, just really tired. I need to get some sleep."

Ten minutes later, Leonard was snoring in bed and Penny was in the bathroom washing off all the make-up she had carefully applied. Her eyes were burning with unshed tears and her throat hurt from forcing herself not to cry. She pulled off the dress and pulled on a sweatshirt and yoga pants.

There was no mistaking Leonard's silent signals tonight. He didn't want her anymore. And really, why should he? She was nothing more than a failure who lived in his house and spent his money. No wonder he stayed away from home so much.

Penny didn't remember leaving the bathroom and walking down the stairs to the kitchen. She didn't remember pulling the bottle of Vodka down from atop the refrigerator or the number of straight shots she did. She didn't remember grabbing the knife...

"Penny? Why do you have a knife?"

Leonard's question brought her back to herself and she stared around in confusion.

"I don't... um, I thought you were asleep," she said, quickly putting the knife away and forcing a smile.

A glance at the clock on the oven told her four hours had passed since he had come home. Sheldon would be up soon.

The smile must have reassured him because he turned his back to her to open the refrigerator.

"I was, but I woke up hungry," he explained and pulled out the carton of eggs.

She took a seat at the table and watched him cook.

"How are you doing, Penny? You didn't come to bed last night," he said, glancing at her over his shoulder as he worked.

Penny looked at the drawer where she had put the knife. Why had she pulled out a knife? Had she wanted to hurt herself?

"I-I'm... I'm not okay," she said, voice much steadier than she thought it would be.

Leonard sent her a sympathetic frown.

"You've been through a lot. You don't have to be 'okay'."

Penny just stared at him, unsure of what else to say.

"I know I haven't been around much, but I'm here now. I don't have to leave again for two more months," he assured her.

She gave him a weak smile and stood up.

"I'm going to lay down, I think the tired-ness is catching up with me," she said, and turned to leave.

"Penny wait," Leonard called and she turned back.

He walked over and kissed her.

"I love you, Penny."

"Me too."

Penny went to bed and didn't get up for two weeks. Other than short trips to the bathroom and the kitchen, she refused to leave her bedroom.

Leonard tried to coax Penny out with promises of shopping trips and fancy dinners, but she refused. "I'm tired" and "I don't feel like it" were the only responses he could get from her.

Sheldon tried as well, reminding her it was grocery store day or comic book day, but Penny just told him to make Leonard take him or call a cab.

After Penny had been in bed for two weeks, Leonard and Sheldon left her alone in the house to go to work at their University offices. She had been waiting for an opportunity to sneak to the liquor store as her supply of alcohol was severely low and she sincerely doubted Sheldon or Leonard would go out and buy her more.

She slipped a hoodie on over her dirty hair and grabbed a pair of sunglasses, her wallet and keys. It would be a quick trip, fifteen minutes at the most and then she would be back home safe and sound in her bedroom.

She placed her hand on the handle of the front door and had started to turn it, when someone knocked.

Penny froze, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She did not want anyone to see her like this.

After a moment of complete silence, there was another knock and the doorbell rang.

"Penny?! Open up, please. I know you're in there," a woman's voice with a familiar Texas twang called out.

Penny obeyed pulling the door open and staring at her visitor in shock.

"Mrs. Cooper?" Her voice was hoarse and barely louder than a whisper.

Mary Cooper looked Penny up and down, warm brown eyes softening with sympathy.

"Oh honey," Sheldon's mother cooed and opened her arms. Penny flew into them, burying her face in a soft, yet solid shoulder and cried.

A/N: Mama Mary is here to make it all better. ;D

Thanks for sticking with this fic. I promise things will start getting better with the next chapter.