Chapter 7

I woke to heavy thoughts and heavy breathing. The alarm clock rang only minutes afterward, but I was beyond awake. Beyond over whatever the hell was happening to me.

My footsteps were light, and my pajama pants skimmed the floor as I walked into the bathroom. I stared at my reflection; saw a girl even I wouldn't even want to love. I closed my eyes.

Stop it.

"There is nothing wrong with me," I chanted to myself, washing my face, my sullen spirits away. "There's nothing wrong with me." I looked again, saw no visible change in demeanor. "Except everything."

Naturally, I went to work feeling like a champ.

"You know you're like two weeks ahead with the court files," Pauline told me, pursing her lips. "I mean, I have teenagers to tend to, but even if I had free time, I would not be classifying a case on snow blower warranties."

I shrugged, placed another file in the DONE box. "Unfortunately, I don't have much of a life as you." I smiled so that she knew I wasn't pessimistic. Or suicidal. "How's your family?" She went on to tell me that they would be vacationing at the beach, that one just got accepted to a very fancy university, and that she had a very hot man in her life. I tried not to feel like death.

"Amy, Mr. Ferret wants to see you," the secretary said, tapping on my desk. "Said it's urgent."

Of course it was.

But I rose from my desk anyway, strolled to his office with a highly deflated ego.

"Miss Rose," the president said, motioning me inside. "Quick, would you like to go on the field today?"

Honestly, the field was an icy tundra. I preferred the warm indoors, the hot coffee, the comfortable prison I had created for myself. But sticking with the theme of self-denial, I nodded and told him I was thankful for the opportunity.

But I knew why he gave it to me—Clarissa had the day off. Decided that she would see her brother and do some snooping on Shadow. So I guess I couldn't hide anymore.

Oh, how much I enjoyed hiding.

"Be safe out there," my boss cautioned me. "Heard there's gonna be a blizzard later today."

Hooray.

My big break turned out to be no more than handling a civil dispute at Merriment Plaza. Toys-For-Tots apparently ran out of some airplane toy a woman had ordered on layaway. Settlement? She received her money back, and a gift card for another toy. Merry Christmas.

"Why, thank you so much," the woman told me. Truthfully, I felt quite worthless. She didn't even need me. Any one with a slightly lawfully inclined brain would have thought to pull out their receipt and see if store policy worked to their favor. Not curse the employees out.

But that didn't stop her from thinking I was a superhero or something. "It's been a rough year on my son, with the divorce and all. I just wanted to do whatever I could to cheer him up." She smiled, clutched the store bag in her hand. "When you love someone you do whatever you can to make them happy. I'm sure you know that. I know a pretty young girl such as yourself has someone wonderful in her life."

"Actually—"

"Oh no, I have to pick my son up from my mom." She waved before scurrying off. "Thanks again!"

I waved back. Good, I didn't want to talk about me anyway.

Today was a short work day for whatever reason, so I decided that I was done. I strolled the tundra that was Merriment Plaza, coffee at hand, not surprised that the space was still littered with persistent shoppers. I walked inside the mall and was welcomed by warmth.

The holiday shopping season was in full throttle, with just a few weeks until Christmas. But it was weird being a bystander—I had no urge to shop (Gasp!) and an even lesser urge to be here. So I was leaving, I guess.

"Hey!" I shouldn't have stopped in my tracks. Now they knew I was onto them. Still, I didn't entirely care, so I started walking anyway in the opposite direction. "Stop!"

I was pretending not to hear them. I didn't like unexpected encounters—they should know that.

"God, would it kill you to stop running away from your problems?"

Okay, I couldn't ignore this. But instead of stopping and letting their words seep in, I spun around, ready to lash at them myself.

"I didn't run away from anything." My hands hardened into fists. "Elfie."

Cream was dressed like an elf.

Like the others, she had remained the same. But the leap from teenage to young adultness was evident in her face—not her attire.

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

Cream narrowed her eyes, looked like she was going to pick a fight with me, or question why I hadn't seen her in so long and why the hell did I have to see her like this, when she sighed. "I was making an animatronic sled and Santa that were supposed to hang from the second-floor. Then the whole operation crashed and burned. Literally." She pointed to what appeared to be a burn spot on the tile behind her. "So now I'm working as Santa's assistant. Yup, after a long day of class and lab work I get to dedicate four hours every day here."

She pinched her hat, looked like she was ready to kill. "Of course, they don't let me fix it, or do anything relevant for my Ph.D. I just work here. Damn my high voice." She frowned. But because I was sick, a smirk found its way on my lips.

"Aren't you supposed to be working now?" I said, looking at a Santa struggling with three kids leaping on him. "I mean, I'd love to get a picture of you in action."

"Haven't I suffered enough?" Cream finally threw the hat off. "Whatever, I'm just gonna pay for the damages. Tails wanted me to work here. Said it would built character or something. Bullshit."

"Good to see your as refreshing as ever," I said. "How's Tails?"

"What do you care?" Cream countered, stripping off the rest of her attire until she was down to a skirt, boots, leggings and an obnoxious holiday sweater. "And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You too busy with your life as a fancy-pants lawyer to see your friend? What, four years later and I'm still not good enough for you?"

"I thought all of you still hated me," I sighed, wondered why the universe always had a sick way of working. I should have gone home to sulk. Check on the progress of Clarissa's stalking. Normal things. Instead I was here. "I thought you still hated me."

"Honestly, I don't know if I like you very much, but hate would be extreme." Cream walked over to the Santa booth, grabbed her coat and jacket. Santa was still being murdered. "I mean, its not like we sit around talking about how awful you are." Cream paused. "Well, not anymore."

Great.

"But I've gotten over it. Though, I think Blaze is still pretty miffed you didn't go to her wedding and that you didn't congratulate her on her pregnancy or something."

"She didn't tell me she was pregnant," I said, allowing a sigh to slide off my lips. Despite being indoors, coffee in hand, and reuniting (By choice?) with someone I was hoping was still was a friend, I felt cold.

"But you knew, right?" she said. I nodded. Cream groaned. "Amy, this isn't a game. I mean, you're a lawyer for damn sake. You should know right and wrong better than everyone else. Forget about what happened. Do what you feel is right."

"What about everyone else?" I replied. I didn't want to snap at her—I couldn't allow myself to. But I could tell she was slightly taken back at my tone. "Did anyone come to see me at Mercia for even one day? Did anyone come to my graduation?"

I was being mean. Sonic had bought me a boutique of white roses on that day. The twins were too young for him to leave them. But what about Rouge and Knuckles? What about Cream and Tails?

Blaze and Silver?

We were heroes—we're all suppose to have high moral standards. So why was everyone getting on my case? What about theirs?

Cream pressed her lips together, shrugged. "I thought you didn't want us to come."

"No one wants to be alone." I closed my eyes, but not before seeing the parking lot come into view. "And everything that I have done—the things you and the others have persecuted me for—has been to avoid that."

"And how's that working out for you?"

With a sigh I walked over to my car. I didn't feel like answering her or saying goodbye; I'd be forced to see her again eventually, that was the only thing I knew for certain. I didn't want to be alone, I really didn't. I would have even welcomed Cream's company right now. Would have welcomed a time where I wasn't ignorant and things were bearable. But that time never existed. And I was afraid it never would.

Cream didn't join me.

I blamed myself for not asking.

A blizzard started when I reached home. Dread replaced numbness when I walked through the front door. It was too silent—Clarissa wasn't here.

All because she was doing my bidding.

"Fuck," I sat down at the kitchen nook. Texted her. Called. Waited for her to come home. Mortify me with details I didn't even want her to find in the first place.

In all fairness, she insisted that she had to go alone—said that I'd blow it by just being there. And I would have. Not because I was a total klutz (but still a klutz nevertheless), but because Shadow could probably sense my presence. I was surprised he didn't sense me when we were at the plaza. But he probably did. And now Clarissa was going to die just because she was looking for someone who didn't want to be found?

Like with Scourge.

I closed my eyes into a hard squint, pushed these destructive thoughts away again. Everything was going to be fine. I had to get rid of this pessimistic leech that absorbed my personality.

Before I could distract myself with a soap opera or other mindless television programs my phone rang. Clarissa.

"Thank God," I said in a sigh, reaching for it. "Are you alright—"

"Hello, is this Amy Rose?" a voice said. It was female.

"Yes. Who is this?"

There was talking on the other end—other voices. Rushed and hushed.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" The voice said, but it sounded more muffled than before. "Hello?"

"Hello?" I said back. "Can you hear me?"

The line cut.

But not before the voice said a word I wasn't expecting.