Chapter 10

Message from Mina.
Not only was Mina apparently the savior of Clarissa's universe, she was also kind enough to invite her over. Yay.

Now, I meant that with both sarcasm and eagerness. Because I knew Clarissa wouldn't let me die under a rock before seeing—and ultimately confronting—the rock star. But a small part of me did want to see her. I couldn't remember the last time I saw Mina, just that her music career was taking off at the time. So I could only imagine how successful she was now. Especially now that Shadow was her muse...

"I can't believe it!" Clarissa's eyes were as bright as her cellphone screen. "Let's go!"

"You're hospitalized, remember?" I sighed as I examined Clarissa. Her head bandages had been removed, and other than a few bruises she looked fine. Like she could be checked out any moment, fine. Like we could see Mina any moment, fine.

Clarissa started rising from her bed. "Can you have Parker give us the okay or something? We can't waste time—Mina's on tour!"

To make matters worse, one of the nurses entered on cue. "Good to see that you're awake, Miss Bobcat." She grinned almost as widely as Clarissa. "Your charts look very good. Once Dr. Fox takes a look, you should be free to leave this evening." The nurse turned off the monitor and adjusted the bed before leaving.

"You heard her!" Clarissa was on her feet before I could blink. She was fully dressed too. Before I could blink again, we were in the hallway; the hospital scenery disappeared in a rapid blur.

"Don't we have work?" I countered. Correction, I still had work. Clarissa scoffed.

"This is work."

Infiltrating a fancy-pants hotel (with daily room rates that ran as much as my monthly rent) didn't seem like work. It wasn't work, just like being an entertainer wasn't. I mean, I go off to professional school and Shadow has the audacity to hook up with a rock star? What, was he the only one who had the right to judge other people's decisions?

"Do you think we'll run into Shadow?" Clarissa's words were the quickest way to stop me in my tracks. Of course, she dragged me through the lobby of the Holly Hotel anyway. And everyone was apparently too rich to care that I was being abducted.

"If we do, I'll never forgive you," I said with a scoff.

"If we do, you should thank me." She pressed a button to the top floor on the elevator. "You realize if this were me, I would have jumped his bones a month ago."

"Good to know."

"I'm serious." Clarissa shook her head. "Do you know how sexy he is? And he liked you. You."

I knew what she was doing; she was both insulting me and giving me hope. It was a quirk I actually appreciated, but it couldn't help the situation. I mean, if it were true—if Shadow genuinely liked me before—how could he let go of me so quickly? Or maybe that was it; maybe he did care about me fundamentally, but didn't want to get invested in something that would ultimately fail. If I knew that I could never truly be with Shadow, I think I'd spiral into my worst depression. I had been in a limbo for years now; I had gained comfort in this uncertainty. And meeting with Mina would only confirm what I couldn't handle. That Shadow had moved on.

Without me.

When the elevator opened, and I saw two bears blocking shiny double-doors, I knew we had reached the entrance to hell.

"State your name and business." The slightly more intimating one said. Clarissa showed them her trademarked text before going on a spiel about Mina saving her life and being God's gift to the universe. They didn't look as convinced as they were bored with her explanation. With a "what's the worse thing these weak-ass females could do?" expression, they began to speak into their headsets. Within seconds the doors clicked open.

"Enjoy your visit." They nodded, smiling. But they were more like, "remember we can literally kill you with our bear hands" grins. We shuffled in quickly. The space was as one could expect. Modern where everything was supposed to be modern and traditional in all the pieces that were supposed to look expensive. There was a living space, and several doors leading to probably equally fancy-looking rooms.

"Amy?" I heard Mina before I saw her. And when I did, I wished I hadn't. If her voice was prettier than me, then her beauty was beyond description. She looked flawless—in perfect shape, in the most trendy but comfortable outfit I had ever seen—yet earthy and effortless, like her appearance was merely outer projection of how beautiful she was on the inside. Her smile radiated in her green sunshine eyes. "I haven't seen you in forever!" She brought me into an embrace, and I could immediately understand why Shadow fell her. I was falling for her. When she released (I almost didn't want her to) she turned to Clarissa. "Are you doing alright? It's Clarissa, isn't it?"

"OH MY GOD, did Mina the Mongoose just address me?" She started shaking the girl's hand like a mad woman. "Thank you so much for saving me!"

"Don't thank me," the celebrity dismissed, bringing her into an embrace. "I was honestly just admiring the snow when I saw you. It was as accidental as the fall, but I'm so glad you're okay." She motioned toward the room/mini-mansion. "Sit! I have a little time before rehearsal. And it's always nice talking to some fresh faces." She motioned to a guard (this one female, I think) to bring some snacks. The whole atmosphere was light and bouncy, like Mina's dark-lavender locks. But I felt no ease, and tried my best not to show it.

"So, what were you doing before you stumbled upon me?" Clarissa said, popping a cracker into her mouth. "I was at a restaurant earlier. But my date stood me up, sort of left angrily. Probably explains why I fell!" As Clarissa laughed lightly I felt a little better. There you go, be helpful.

"I was just leaving a restaurant, too!" Mina announced. Fortunately, it didn't look like she was making a connection. She grinned harder. "Also a date."

It took everything not to strangle—I meant, ask—Mina for answers.

Clarissa beamed. "Really? Who are you dating?"

Time froze as I stared at Mina. This was the moment of truth. The moment that would finally kill me. However, Mina's expression fell slightly. I blinked at her. Was that a good sign? Bad?

She shrugged. "I doubt you'd say anything to the tabloids, but I can't confirm anything. I try to stay as low-profile as possible." She began twirling a strand of her hair. "It may surprise you, but I'm not as secure as a lot of other entertainers. I still like being able to walk the streets or go to a boyfriend's house without a full-blown disguise," she said with a sigh. "But I don't know why I'm complaining. That's nothing."

My brain surged as I tried to make sense of her words. She didn't say she had a boyfriend. Didn't imply that the date was more than a friendly encounter. Maybe she just had a crush on Shadow—maybe they were just friends. I couldn't be the only one in the universe who fell victim to a one-sided relationship. Maybe there was a chance.

But optimism was hard to stick. My brain then digested the second part of her words. "Wait, why is your freedom nothing? Compared to what?" I clamped my mouth. Maybe I was being too invasive. "Sorry if I'm over-stepping. We're lawyers."

Mina wrinkled her nose before continuing. "Oh, no problem. It's just that long distance sucks way more than sneaking around. We see each other enough; I mean we've been together for a year. But for guy as good as he is in the sack, we don't do it often." My eyes widened.

"So you do have a boyfriend." Clarissa sounded excited but her expression overcompensated. I know what it was trying to say—that coming here was a big mistake. If I could breathe, I would have sighed. Glad we were finally on the same page.

Mina started blushing. "It's that obvious, huh?" She stayed like that, in a lover's bliss, for some seconds. But it was too long. The musician ironically wasn't being vocal. Prying was getting us nowhere, and we couldn't kick her ass for answers with her homicide squad around. And I didn't want to anyway. I had to stop intruding on people's happiness. I rose to my feet.

"Thanks again for saving Clarissa. Here's a gift of our gratitude." I handed her the teddy bear Clarissa had rejected. Mina smiled harder. Naturally, it was genuine.

"Yeah, thanks a ton. It was so awesome meeting you!" The two girls embraced again, started gapping about fate and music. I droned out practically the second it started, until reality hit me. And it hit me so hard that I was surprised I was still standing.

Long distance?

I tried to think through this minute thought, but my mind started surging again. Shadow and Mina were in a long distance relationship? Then why did he reject me? Why was she the exception? The room started spinning and suddenly everything became unbearable.

"Let's go." I somehow found the words to say. My throat was tight, burning like my eyes filling with even hotter tears.

"But we didn't take a picture!" Clarissa pouted. My grip hardened on her arm, and I pulled her to her feet. But I couldn't look at Mina. I kept my gaze to the ground, started moving.

"Oh, get in here!" Mina pulled us in together and took the selfie with Clarissa's phone. I tried to remove the pain in my smile. But my heart was shattered—it had been shattered for a long time. And now the pieces had come back to stab me.

Clarissa and Mina exchanged good-byes, but I was already out of the door. My hands balled into fists as I choked on a sob. Forget Shadow.

I could never forgive him.