Third installment, here we go! As usual, Hilde, Drexel, Amelia and such belong to me, but the rest belong to J.K. Rowling! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to scream, shout, and let it all out in the reviews section. Hope you enjoy! Cheers!
My insides were riddled with guilt as I curled up in my infamous armchair, watching the green flames in the fireplace across the common room crackle with life. (They were enchanted, of course. The Slytherin House would have never sanctioned Gryffindor colors in the common room.) I'd been sitting here almost all day practically, repeating my words from breakfast over and over again in my head like I was stuck in a constant loop.
Bigot. Bigot. Bigot.
It wasn't that Sirius hadn't been rude to me at the time (because he had been), nor was it that he hadn't warranted the word himself. It was just that the words had come out from my own mouth. My own supposedly goody-goody, genetically Hufflepuff mouth.
And they were just so mean.
Mean. Mean. Mean.
Awful. Awful. Awful.
Bad. Bad. Bad.
Mulling over the thought that I might be a hypocrite, I'd sat in my rightful chair for hours on end, longer than ever before. Thankfully, the fact that it just so happened to be a Saturday allowed me to pull off this pensive feat, but I'd unintentionally attracted quite the attention in the common room despite my dull antics. Throughout the day, I'd garnered around eighty different glances and stares from my fellow Slytherins, some interested, some haughty, some curious, some confused.
I think I might have actually received a couple concerned looks too. One fifth-year girl actually approached me and asked if I was okay, which was a wonder in itself. A bit overexcited by her concern, I might have smiled too widely in response, causing her to back away from me with a grimace on her face.
It was progress at least. They'd noticed I wasn't my typical, happy-go-lucky self. That was something.
Drexel, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found. The last time I saw him was when he'd been sneaking out of the Great Hall to trail after Amelia Potter. Merlin knows he was probably trailing her some more right now. I had been hoping for a progress report though…
I frowned into the flames, hoping that I'd given him enough time to make contact with her. I'd tried to stall as long as I could, at least until Sirius got in the way and botched my friendly encounter.
A pair of legs stopped in front of my eye line, interrupting my mesmeric stare with the fire. Registering the baggy gray slacks and height, I concluded the object was a boy and slowly slid my gaze upwards to view the mystery boy's face.
A sallow face with a hooked nose gazed back at me, complete with an arched brow. His hair was messily pushed back behind his ears, a few dark strands astray. I blinked at his sudden appearance.
"Hello, Severus," I chirped, my friendly nature kicking in despite my morose mood, and a smile slipped onto my face. I'd tried to be friends with Severus Snape so many times over the years, and he'd always pushed me away like the other Slytherins, so this was…new. But welcome. I mentally imagined the fun conversations about Potions that we would have and the future inside jokes we'd share. It seem promising in my head. Logical, even.
His eyebrow remained raised. "What exactly are you doing?"
A curious tone, coming from him. Severus almost sounded interested in my life. I could work with that.
"Oh, not much," I responded, leaning back into my oh-so-wonderful armchair, relishing in its extreme plushness. "I've mainly just been reflecting on life, contemplating my general attitude and such. What about you? What have you been up to?"
Was this my breakthrough moment with him? Would our friendship suddenly blossom from this exchange of words?
"Clearly," Severus said, a sneer encroaching upon his face, "you've misunderstood. What I meant, Puff, is what are you doing here in the common room at this hour?"
His confrontational tone took me by surprise, and I was taken aback.
My smile shrank at the realization that he, indeed, was still not interested in friendship. "Pardon?"
"Merlin, you are oblivious," he said monotone. "The Prefect schedule. Your patrol started a quarter of an hour ago if you'd bothered to check."
"Merlin!" I jumped up, my mouth gaping. I hadn't even glanced at the schedule Remus gave me earlier; I'd been too caught up in analyzing my own past actions. Scrambling, I threw on my robes and badge that I'd taken off. "Thank you, Severus! You really didn't have to do that, but I'm grateful!"
"I was only doing my duty as Prefect," he drawled. "Don't think it personal. I'd rather not have to dock points off of my own House for your tardiness."
"No, but seriously," I paused in my chaotic dance to examine him further. "You didn't have to remind me. Thank you."
A blank soulless stare was given to me in return. I refused to fidget.
"You know," I continued. "I don't think you're the person you pretend to be. Sure, you hang out with all the big bad Slytherins and perform loads of dark magic, but I think deep down, you're a good guy, Severus. You have a good heart. You care."
"I suggest that you don't pretend as if you actually know me," he said, turning away, his black robes fluttering.
"You're not Snivellus!" I shouted to his retreating back. He froze suddenly, his back tense, and I was afraid that I'd said the wrong thing, that it'd been the wrong subject to bring up.
"I mean," I backtracked, bunching the edges of my robes in my fists, "don't let them define you like that. You create who you want to be; you're the one in control of your destiny. Besides, actions speak louder than words, right?"
Severus pivoted then strode in my direction with a dark expression, stopping a foot away from me. Drawing his black wand, he stuck it directly under my chin, poking my throat with an undeniable pressure. I took a deep breath to keep myself from gulping in fear.
"Do you think," Severus sneered, "that I need a Hufflepuff's advice? You're one to talk. You're an outcast outside of your own family, your own House, and even your own classmates. Your so-called friends are fleeting acquaintances, and based on your surname, you consider yourself to be better than your entire House. Have you ever considered for one second why the Sorting Hat placed you in Slytherin? That it didn't make a mistake in putting you in here with the rest of us? Because if you haven't, you truly need to give yourself another look in the mirror and drop the self-righteous act, because it's getting quite irritating."
My voice felt stuck in my throat, deep and raspy like I was choking on my own words. "It's not an act. I'm not like you; I'm not acting."
"Ah," Severus gave me a sickly sweet smile. "And there's your narcissistic sense of superiority raising its head again. How frequently it appears when you're confronted with the truth."
I grasped for words, seeking a way to convey to him that no, this was who I truly was, but none came to mind. Was that what everyone else thought of me? What they thought I was like? I stood stock still in silence, staring at him in defeat.
Severus's coal black eyes glazed over me dismissively, bored with his entertainment as soon as he'd just begun. He slowly withdrew his wand, sliding it back into his pocket. "Don't you have Prefect duties to attend to, Puff? As fascinating as this conversation is, I have other matters to deal with, your personal issues beside, such as going to bed."
"Of course," I muttered, marching almost robotically away. I was nearly a half an hour later to patrol now, so I proceeded to powerwalk to the Prefect meetup point at the base of the staircase. Ripping out my Prefect schedule, I checked quickly to see who I'd be matched up with for the night, aka also the person who would be extremely annoyed with me. My mind still whirling from Severus's revelation, my eyes scanned down the page only to find that I'd been partnered with…
Remus Lupin.
Merlin, he was bound to think that I was completely loony. After all, I mean, I did borrow his own Prefect schedule only to not exactly use it. After all that'd happened today, I felt even more like a failure than ever, so I increased my speed.
Jogging now, I raced up from the Slytherin common room to the meetup point only to see…
Nothing. No one. Nada.
A giant staircase stared down at me void of any witches or wizards whatsoever.
Sighing, I supposed that Remus must have already left to complete the rounds. Typically, Prefect pairs would split up the castle into two sections and patrol each half by themselves, but in cases like these, anything was up for grabs. Twirling a finger around, I chose a direction at random, hoping that I'd run into Remus soon so that I could apologize for my lateness. And perhaps also give him back his schedule.
Mounting the staircase, I listened to my footsteps echoed throughout the castle, my mind still racing over Severus's comments in my head. Is that why no one in Slytherin took any of my attempts for friendship seriously? Because they thought I was a fraud?
I settled on patrolling the fourth floor, wandering idly down the corridor while keeping an eye out for students out of bed.
Was I a fraud? Was I being nice just to be nice? Or was it because I wanted people to think that I was nice?
Or was it to make my parents proud? To prove that, perhaps, despite getting Sorted into one of the darkest Houses in Hogwarts, that I was still a good person underneath? Or the same person underneath that I was before?
My mind was muddled, and I was utterly and desperately confused. Why couldn't I just be nice, just because? Why was it considered a crime or a fraud? Why couldn't I just be who I wanted to be?
"What's wrong with that?" I whispered to myself, walking calmly down the corridor with nothing but suits of armor in sight. Shaking my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts, I continued down the hallway, ready to switch over to the fifth floor when I heard a giggle.
A muffled, feminine giggle, as clear as day. I paused, cocking my head like a tracking dog to see if I could locate to where it was coming from. Taking a few stealthy steps forward, the giggle grew louder, seeming to emanate from a lone storage closet up ahead. A light shush followed the enthusiastic sound, verifying that there was not one but two students out of bed.
Oh, Merlin. I thought.
Two students plus a storage closet plus the late hour did not appeal to me the slightest, but alas, it was my duty. I approached the door, my hand hovering over its brass knob hesitantly. Wouldn't it be rude to enter without warning?
So, feeling particularly polite, I knocked. Twice.
All noise from the closet went silent. I desperately hoped that the couple would be using this time to compose themselves and come out on their own accord in a slightly more graceful manner.
"Remus," a deep voice sounded from inside the infamous closet, "I told you to avoid the fourth floor for at least an hour, mate. I can work fast, Moony, but not that fast. Have a little pity for—"
I opened the door abruptly, regardless of the consequences, unwilling to listen to any more excuses. I'd already guessed who one of the occupants of the closet was anyway.
As expected, I revealed a bedraggled-looking Sirius with a mildly attractive Ravenclaw girl attached to his chest, both their lips a raw red. His shirt was fully unbuttoned, her blue and bronze tie was on the floor; it wasn't hard to imagine what had been going on in here. Personally, I dreaded these situations because of their pure awkwardness, but I varied my technique every so often to evoke different reactions every time. After all, no one likes to see a Prefect after hours.
"Hi," I said, raising a hand in faux-greeting. "I'm not Remus."
The girl squeaked a little belatedly, and Sirius blinked, then after recognizing my face from earlier, scowled. He brushed a hand through his messy dark hair in what I thought was an irritated gesture, smoothing it into something more presentable. Or not. A few strands still stuck out in random directions, reminding me of tinsel on a Christmas tree.
"What are you doing here?" He drawled, looping his arms further around the girl. "Can't you see we're busy? It's rude to interrupt such intimate matters last time I checked."
"And last time I checked, it's a bad idea to be out of bed after hours, especially when a Prefect happens upon you and your intimate matters, Mr. Black." I tapped my shiny badge for authority, relishing in his further annoyed expression. I was in no mood to be sugar-sweet-nice right now. I was conducting business. "Now as for both of you, fifteen points from Gryffindor and fifteen from Ravenclaw. I suggest you get yourselves back to bed, or I'll be deducting even more."
To this, Sirius rolled his eyes, and the Ravenclaw girl looked like she was about to cry. I felt a little bad for her, really.
"Oh," I added, "And fix yourselves up before you go too. You're lucky I didn't take points for your indecency as well."
"Lucky is one word for it," Sirius drawled, still leaning against the closet wall. The Ravenclaw snatched her tie off of the floor and was busying herself in buttoning up her collar and making herself presentable. Her breathing was heavy enough to hear, so I surmised that this might have been the first time she'd ever been caught breaking the rules. Sirius made no such moves, choosing to stay in his lounging position, keeping his eyes on me. From what I could tell, it was a belligerent stare.
"I'm sorry, this will never happen again," the Ravenclaw piped out, squeezing by me in the doorway. She hesitated for a moment to turn back and look at Sirius questioningly.
"I'll catch you later, love," he dismissed her, giving her a quick wink. Sending a smile in return, she scurried away into the corridor to return to her high-lofted common room. A few seconds later, her footsteps were too far to be heard.
"Well," I said, still standing at the doorway. "Are you going to get dressed or are you waiting for someone else?"
Sirius threw me a side glance then proceeded to grasp the bottoms of his shirt, matching up the buttons. "Where's Remus?"
His tone was undiscernible, and I watched as he slowly buttoned his shirt from bottom up. His fingers were nimble, but he took his time on each individual fastening.
"Patrolling," I replied in the same neutral tone. "I just happened to discover your hiding-spot first as it so happens. Although it seems as if Remus got a heads up to avoid your location in general."
"He was supposed to have headed his partner off as well," Sirius said, still focused on his clothing. "Throw them off my scent and such."
I scoffed a bit at that, wondering how often Remus helped his friends in bypassing school rules. "I was late to the meetup. I haven't even seen him tonight."
"Ah," Sirius's head snapped up, his gray eyes glittering. "So Little Miss Goody-Goody Snake isn't as perfect as she seems. How predictable. In fact, it's rather to be expected."
"Look," I started, taking a breath. "I—"
"After all," he continued, interrupting me, "who can trust a snake? Slippery things, you are."
"Excuse me, I'm trying to say something here," I retorted. "I just—"
"You just what?" He rolled his eyes dramatically, finishing up his final button. "You just want to insist on how 'I don't really know you?' Or how you're different? Or are you going to do something more, like threaten me? That'd be interesting. I'd like to see what spells you could weave. Maybe we could even duel, and fight over which House is better. The great Gryffindor versus Slytherin battle, where—"
"I was just trying to apologize!" I shouted, a bit louder than I'd expected the statement to come out. My cheeks burned with embarrassment at my volume as well as my shout's content, and I wondered if I should retract it.
Too late now.
Sirius wore a puzzled expression, his brows furrowed. "Excuse me?"
I bit my lip briefly then committed to my apology. There was no going back now. "I wanted to apologize for calling you a bigot earlier this morning. It was mean, and even though you probably deserved it, it wasn't right to call you that. I was just basing it off of the comments you made towards me, but the truth is, is that I don't know you either. So, yeah. Sorry."
His eyes scanned me up and down, unsure of what to think. In fact, Sirius's whole body language betrayed his surprise. His hands, now holding his gold and red tie, were frozen by his sides, and his mouth had even dropped open a little.
"What are you playing at?" He asked, still eyeing me. "I've never seen a Slytherin apologize before. It's unsettling."
"I did it, because I wanted to, not because I wanted something," I said. "Is that so hard to believe?"
"In all actuality, yes," Sirius responded with a straight face. "With all the experience that I've had around Slytherins growing up, I can honestly say that people don't change, Slytherins the least of all. So, yes. I don't believe you, not for a second. It's practically ingrained in my blood not to trust you."
My heart sank. Could no one see me as anything but Slytherin?
"Well," I smiled weakly. "You're missing out on a good apology then. Your loss, I guess."
I turned away before he could even finish putting on his tie.
"What's your name, blondie?" His low voice called out from behind me. He seemed conversational almost. I debated for a few seconds what I should tell him, but I quickly settled on the most appropriate.
"Just call me Puff," I called back over my shoulder.