Chapter 28

Going to work was pointless, because I wasn't working. Instead, my mind was surging a million miles per hour. And I knew stress wasn't good for the baby. But working was still stress, so I guess I couldn't win. Ever.

I pressed my head against my desk, accidentally sliding some files to the floor in the process.

"Damn it." But the urge to pick them up didn't come. I just felt numb. And dumb.

I wanted to blame myself, but could I? The doctor said it wasn't my fault—for once, something wasn't my fault. I was supposed to feel better. But feeling better wouldn't fix anything.

"You've been looking suicidal all day." Ms. Ferret picked up my files for me. I thanked her. "Tell me what's wrong or I'll drop you from your case."

"Go ahead." I should have stopped myself, but it was hard to care. Ms. Ferret only grinned.

"When did this kitty get claws?" She sat down, and the grin faded almost as fast. "Is everything alright?"

I sighed; I had no reason to be dishonest with her. "The doctor said there might be an abnormality with my pregnancy."

To my surprise, her eyes didn't widen in surprise. She hissed through her teeth. "Honestly, if things really were bad, they wouldn't have told you."

I moved my head slightly from the desk. "Then why put a pregnant woman under unnecessary stress?"

The woman shrugged. "Maybe she has a hunch on something else. Maybe she wants to scare you into reevaluating your current decisions."

I bit my lip. "Like what?"

"I've seen the way Mr. Hedgehog looks at you," she said casually, straightening the hem of her skirt. Her orange eyes lit up when they hit mine. "And I've seen the way you look at him."

I held my breath.

This was it. This was the conversation that was going to end with me being fired.

When she shrugged, I tried to feel some relief. "Personally, I'd say tap that after you win your case. But I can't tell you what to do. Just make sure you accomplish what you need. Then you can do whatever you want."

"What if I don't know what I want?" I said. Her notion of working hard and playing harder only seemed appropriate if you knew what you were doing. And I had abandoned control long before I could remember.

"Of course you do." She was already on her feet. A step away from the door and my enlightenment. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

As she left, it was difficult to determine whether to take her words literally or figuratively. But the mental battle was cut short when Scourge walked in.

"Are you okay, Rosie?"

"Hopefully," I thought to reply. Instead, I just nodded. "Better now that you're here."

It wasn't right to be getting chummy at work, especially with the unwavering eyes of my co-workers probably watching me. I turned to his file, and began explaining what would happen in six weeks at the hearing. I even told him about what Mrs. Rabbit said about Fiona.

"Well, that would explain it." He sighed, rubbing his temple. "I'd complain about her making my life more difficult, but her behavior seems to be making the case easier for you."

I pursed my lips. "We have a good case, but I need to know more." I thought about what Erickson Fox said. How Fiona was willing to compromise despite the fact that she started the battle. Or did she?

I turned to Scourge's online file; saw that he was the one who filed for primary custody three months ago. But had she threatened to do this before? Why was Fiona willing to compromise?

Was Scourge really keeping any secrets from me? Or was it wrong for me to expect him to play a little dirtier?

He didn't hate her, and even though most child custody cases I observed dealt with ex-spouses and ex-couples that had severe animosity toward each other, that didn't mean that he didn't have a case. But why did it feel like something was missing?

A tap on my desk interrupted me from my mental battles. I looked up at Scourge.

"Why did you file for primary custody for Sage?" I asked. But he didn't look taken back by my sudden question. It was as if he didn't know where to start.

"We've been having real issues for about a year now," he replied, scratching his quills. "Right after she gave birth, and even leading up to it, we tried to play nice. Things were nice, and we were actually living together." He sighed. "We were almost like a real family.

"But then I got my art gig about two years ago, and had to move out of town to Barnes, about forty minutes away from Maim. She begged—fought me about taking the job—and I was mad. I know we had a kid, but Sage was growing, and I didn't want the rest of my life to be defined by one poor decision. So I took it, and I made an even greater effort to be there for my son.

"Fiona moved in with one of her friends, Portia. She's a bar/restaurant owner, I think. Fiona has a small fortune, so I think she just helps to manage the business.

Scourge sighed again. "So long story short, Fiona's become incredibly hostile. I've tried talking to her about it, but she just shuts me off. And I know that Sage feels it too—he doesn't seem very excited to stay with her. I know none of this was easy on her, but I can't accept the way things have been going. I want to move on."

"We can probably play the angle of her not being invested enough to be a primary care taker," I offered. "How far are you willing to compromise?"

"I'm not against Fiona seeing him. I just want him to live with me."

"That should be possible," I said. But I still had one more question. As much as it killed me to ask it.

"And for the record, how do you honestly feel about Fiona?"

He inhaled. Exhaled before looking at me. "I'm thankful for Sage. I really am, and I know I'm a better person because of him. But I feel like she hasn't been direct with me, and I fear for Sage's well being."

"Why do you fear for Sage's wellbeing?"

He looked down. There was a level of distress on his face that almost broke me. It reminded me of Blaze. I shook my head and the thought away. "Because she didn't want him. She wanted me."

"Are you sure—"

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm his only parent." He clenched his hands. "Like I said, I want to move forward. And this arrangement isn't helping anyone."

I nodded. "And you're sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?"

"Nothing else that I can think of."

I smiled slightly, closing my file. However, I could still sense that restraint from earlier on him. And as much as I wanted to blame my hormones, I knew he was withholding information. Something.

"It's about that time again," Scourge said moving to the door. "Have to pick up the little guy."

"Ok," I replied, closing my booklet. He was close enough to kiss, and I almost did when his hand caught mine.

"I'll see you soon, Miss Rose." But his expression wasn't complete without his seductive smirk.

"Of course."

Then he was gone. And I was left with my self-destructive thoughts.

Home was as empty as my heart.

Dr. Merecat said she'd get back to me. But like everything, it didn't seem good enough. It was a false promise, and even if it were fulfilled, what could she really say to reassure me?

Good news, your child does in fact have an abnormality?

But maybe that's what made it so unbearable—this wasn't my child. Blaze needed one thing from me, for me to deliver a healthy baby. And now such a simple objective was compromised.

Everyone else had healthy babies.

Hell, even Fiona had a healthy baby.

So why couldn't I have that? Why couldn't I have been useful, just this once? I wiped my eyes as I paced the living room, before turning on the TV. A diaper commercial appeared on the screen. Then the local news. A list of obituaries. I shut it off.

I needed to shut everything off.

I couldn't feel feelings by the time I approached Scourge's door. A few weak knocks produced no answers, so I fished for a spare key behind a potted plant. Silence overwhelmed me, and then I heard a rush of water. I followed it.

I widened the door with a push, and saw the light of the bathroom cut through. I followed it.

The sight of me watching him shower had to make me look like a psychopath. But the image of him resembled something of peace—closed eyes, relaxed body—and I desperately needed that. He was whistling to the hypnotic rhythm of the water as I stripped down. I stepped in, hugging him from behind. He jumped slightly, but relaxed in my touch.

"What are you—" My lips dabbed along his wet, hot body, focused on the back of his neck. When my breasts pressed against his soapy back, he hissed.

He turned over his shoulder, and I tilted my head, meeting him in a kiss. Our tongues swirled with each other in a hungry passion. Then I stopped it, and my hands found his excited member.

"I want you to feel good," I replied, biting his shoulder. My hands moved up and down his length, my fingertips circled around the head. He twitched, groaned before capping his mouth.

"Rosie." He choked on a groan. "S-Sage is sleeping."

His words didn't faze me. I merely moved in front of him for better leverage. I dropped down to my knees and took him in my mouth. My mind was surging probably about as much as his, but I ignored it. I licked the underside of his penis in one dramatic slide, before sucking the head. He bit his lip.

"Suck me dry." He thrusted slowly in and out of my mouth, pulling my head along in the motion. I played with his balls, and a grunt escaped him. His rhythm increased.

"Fuck," he then said, popping out of my mouth. My hands ran along his length a final time when he threw his head back, his mouth shaped in an O. "I'm—"

The load spurted a few times on my chest, and washed away with the water. Scourge was huffing when he looked down at me with glazed, lust filled eyes.

He led me out of the shower, and we're in his room again. At it like we had never been at it before. At it like we only had tonight.

His eyes are icy, but beautiful. They enchanted me as much as his motions, as his caresses and thrusts. Yet it was hard to feel anything, even when he soothed me with kisses. The numbness finally broke over when my loins started to spasm. My orgasm hit me, and I threw my head back, clinging onto him. His lips sealed over mine, silencing our moans.

We remained like that for a while—sweaty and panting. Staring in each other's eyes like they were gems. The satisfied smirk on his face faded as he laced his hand between mine. "We probably shouldn't keep doing this."

I nestled my head in his chest. "Just probably." But my mind was finally clear. I was too tired to make sense of anything. Or feel any guiltier than I already was.

His free hand played with my quills as he met my gaze again. "Just know that whatever the outcome of this case is, I love you." He pressed his lips on my temple. "I've always loved you."

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I was drained in everyway imaginable. I held onto him harder.

"I love you too."

I wasn't lying. But I was still figuring out whether or not I was telling the truth.

Sorry for the shortness of the chap. And the sexiness. I'll probably have another chapter up by tomorrow or Monday. Let me know your thoughts.

~KB