Chapter 4
The Doctor didn't want to break the moment, but as the baby cried and Clara comforted him, the nurse reminded her he needed feeding, and Clara looked utterly lost.
"I don't have any milk," she said.
It was then the Doctor stepped closer and spoke to her softly, hoping she wouldn't be too freaked out by what he was about to suggest.
"This child is Sontaran and needs Sontaran milk- he could have had yours because you're his mother, the biological link would have tolerated that – but he would be better fed by a Sontaran."
She looked at him, utterly confused.
"I don't see any Sontarans around here, let alone Sontaran mothers!"
"No, that's not what I meant," he said to her, "Strax can feed the baby. He once told me he can make vast quantities of milk...with his kind, the male of the species can also feed their young."
She blinked.
He waited for it.
The wait was a short one.
"That's disgusting!" she exclaimed.
"No, its natural for a Sontaran," he replied, "And your baby needs milk."
The child in her arms cried again, and Clara felt as helpless as she felt empty of the ability to feed her child.
"Can't he have powdered milk?" she asked.
"I wouldn't even want to chance human breast milk from a donor," he replied, "This child is a hybrid. We need to play it as safe as we can."
She cradled the child, then looked up at the Doctor.
"Okay," she said quietly, "Let's go back to Madame Vastra's."
A short while later, Clara stood in the console room of the Tardis, cradling her half alien child as the Tardis made a smooth and steady journey back through time and space.
Suddenly Clara was aware the Doctor was watching her, and she turned her head and looked at him.
"What?" she asked him, "Is it so strange to see me with a child, or just weird that it's not a human child? Because I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing yet..."
The look in his eyes softened.
"I was just thinking, that dress you're wearing...you've been wearing it since we last came back from Vastra's...you were wearing one much like that the first time I met my Impossible Girl in my former life. And by the way, it's not weird, Clara. It's beautiful to see you holding your child, your very special child."
She smiled as she cast him a knowing look and the baby grasped at her finger.
"You don't need to remind me he's special. Every parent thinks their child is special."
Then she looked down at the baby, the little Sontaran, a miniature Strax - and as she looked back to the Doctor, he saw uncertainty in her gaze.
"I really didn't want to do this. It's bad enough we ...went together. I don't want him to know about the baby."
"Why?" he asked, "Don't you think he ought to know? He's the father, it's the right thing to do."
As Clara held the baby warm in her arms, her eyes clouded with sorrow.
"This baby is Sontaran, like his father. He needs to be with his father. I don't want to let him go."
The Doctor left the console and went over to her, looking at her kindly.
"No one is saying you have to hand the baby over! Besides, you couldn't leave Strax to bring him up - think of the influence he would be with his tales of the mighty Sontaran Empire!"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Plenty!" the Doctor exclaimed, "If you left the child with Strax, he would bring him up to idolise his roots, by the time he's older and wanting to rebel,he'll be off to join the Sontaran army! And then what? Your son killed, when his ship gets blown up, welcoming a warrior death in battle?"
Clara flinched at the images his suggestion had brought to mind.
"You're right," she said, "I don't want that to happen."
"Good," the Doctor replied as he looked down at the baby Sontaran and smiled as he felt a fatherly bond, and then he looked into Clara's eyes once more.
"Perhaps it might be for the best if we bring the child up together. I mean, Strax probably won't want you and a baby – this is going to be a shock – but it's only fair that he knows, so he has the choice to stay in touch. If that's okay with you, if that's what you would like to happen, Clara. I would love the chance to be a father to this child."
Clara smiled.
"I think you will be great dad," she said, "I mean it, you really will! You'll be the best!"
Then his smile faded as he remembered nothing was set in stone - he had no way of knowing how Strax would react to the news that he was a father...
"We'll see," he replied, "I know what I'd like to happen, but we need to see Strax first. I want everyone to be happy about what ever arrangement we make."
"So do I," she agreed, and then the Tardis landed, and Clara held her child close and warm as she and the Doctor stepped out once again into a Victorian street.
"Sorry," the Doctor said to Clara as they walked towards their destination - they were at a considerable distance from the house of Madame Vastra, "I meant to land closer. At least it's not a cold day..." He glanced at the baby in her arms. Clara was holding him very close, bundled up against a curious world who would stare at his alien features.
"He's fine," Clara said, smiling as she saw the fatherly look on the Doctor's face, "He just needs milk...Doctor, do you realise people passing us by must think we're a family?"
They exchanged a glance, and in that moment, they both understood what it meant.
"Good," the Doctor replied, and it warmed her heart to hear such pride in his voice.
"Doctor."
They both stopped walking.
The Doctor stared at the sight of Missy, who was minus her hat, her usually immaculate make up was smudged and her eyes were red from crying.
Clara was staring at her too, but far from the wary look shot by the Doctor, hers was one of pure rage as she recalled the smashed line to artificial womb...
"What do you want?" the Doctor said coldly, and Missy stepped closer, and started to weep.
"Doctor, please! Hear me out!"
He walked on and so did Clara.
"Please!" Missy said again as she hurried to catch up with them.
Clara kept her eyes fixed on the house of Madame Vastra.
"Get rid of her. I'm serious, Doctor. She could have killed my baby. I seriously want to hurt her. Get rid of her!"
"Just wait! Hear me out!" Missy begged in desperation.
Clara stopped walking as Missy stood in front of her, and she held her baby tighter.
"You're lucky I have my child in my arms," she warned her, "because if I didn't..."
"Enough!" the Doctor said, holding his hand up, hoping to diffuse the situation quickly because he knew there was nothing worse than an angry mother protecting her young – Missy was lucky Clara was holding the baby, because she had a look in her eyes like a lioness about to kill a creature she saw as a threat to her cub...
"What do you want?" he asked Missy, and she started to cry again.
Then the child in Clara's arms began to wail for food, and Clara shot the Doctor a look of impatience.
"I'm going on ahead. This baby needs milk! Oh, why isn't there a supermarket somewhere in the galaxy that sells powdered Sontaran milk?"
Then she was walking off towards Vastra's house.
The Doctor looked angrily to Missy.
"Get out of my sight!" he warned her, "If Clara didn't have the baby with her I swear I'd -"
"Oh yes, it's okay for her!" she said bitterly as more mascara coloured tears ran down her face, "Clara and her ugly little Sontaran monster! "
The Doctor's eyes blazed with anger.
"You did a terrible thing!" he said sharply, and she gave a gasp as he grabbed her roughly by her arm and shoved her up against a wall, an act which on the rough Streets of Victorian England, barely drew a glance from passers by...
"Let me explain!" she begged.
His grip tightened as he met her gaze with a look of pure fury.
"You stole her baby and when you found out it wasn't mine you cracked the fluid line to the artificial womb! If that child hadn't been full term you would have killed him!"
Tears filed her eyes again.
"I knew it was full term! Good for her, well done Clara, she gets what she wants!"
Missy was making no sense.
"She didn't know, she had no memory of her and Strax!"
"But she still gets what she wants, what I want," Missy replied, and then she gave another sob.
The look in her eyes was no where close to the usual malice that glittered within, there was something else, something deep and painful and so hard to bear he could feel it radiating from her...
"What are you talking about?" he demanded.
Missy looked into his eyes.
"I stole the baby because I lost my own!"
The Doctor's grip on her arm loosened.
"No, you couldn't have been pregnant..."
"I'd had fertility treatment prior to our encounter, to ensure a successful conception," she said tearfully, "I was taking medication to speed up the process... I carried your child for a matter of days before I lost it...I had a child with you, we are the last of our kind and I had a child and then it was gone!"
"NO!" he yelled, backing off from her, "Shut up, I'm not listening!"
"But it's true!"
"No!" he yelled again, and then he turned away and began to walk in the direction of Vastra's house, wishing he could block out the sound of Missy's tearful voice as she called to him, following, as she begged him to believe her...
As the door opened and Jenny and Vastra saw Clara standing on the doorstep, they both looked to her with such kindness that Clara wanted to cry, but she didn't, instead her baby started crying, and Vastra held out her arms.
"May I hold this very special baby?" she asked, and Clara nodded, carefully handed the baby to Madame Vastra, and then she stepped inside, and Jenny closed the door behind them.
"Fetch Strax," Vastra said and her wife nodded, and then went off down the hallway.
"Come through to the parlour," Vastra said, and as she walked, she looked down at the child,and then back at Clara as she smiled.
"I expect the Doctor has told you how difficult it is for a human and a Sontaran to breed - sorry, to concieve," she said to her.
"Yes he did," she replied, and as they entered the parlour where the room was warm and welcoming and a fire blazed in the hearth, Vastra sat on the sofa with the child in her arms, and Clara sat beside her.
"I can't imagine how Strax will take the news,"Clara said, "But the Doctor told me we had to bring the child back here because he needs Sontaran milk."
Vastra smiled.
"Which is widely available in supermarkets throughout the galaxy," she replied. "But I do agree with the Doctor – the father does have a right to know."
For a moment a look of annoyance flashed in Clara's eyes, and then it was gone.
"And he's quite right, of course," she agreed quietly.
"He sent us a message on the way back," Vastra told her, "We had time to explain to Strax. The Doctor didn't tell you. He just wanted to be sure the news travelled ahead of you. Strax took the news well. Very calmly, in fact."
"Where is he now?" Clara asked.
"I have been preparing for your arrival," Strax announced,and then he walked up to Clara and handed her a bottle of warm milk. He looked to the child in Vastra's arms, briefly smiled and then watched as she carefully handed the child back to Clara, who began to feed her hungry baby for the first time.
"You can hold him when he's been fed," Clara said, meeting his gaze awkwardly.
Strax looked to the child, then noticed the way his human hands gripped the bottle.
"I see he has inherited some human traits," he remarked in disgust, "Not at all desirable...puny human genetics have found their way into the might of the Sontaran empire!"
And then the look in his eyes warmed fondly as he watched his son feeding.
"I am proud," he stated, and smiled at Clara.
She briefly smiled back, then continued to feed her son.
"I have expressed vast quantities of milk for him," Strax informed her, "It is refrigerated and can easily be warmed before he consumes it... He is very small."
And he smiled again.
"And you are looking well, Clara."
"Of course I am," she replied, "He was born today but I was on the other side of the room watching the Doctor rescue him from a broken tank!"
"I should like to obliterate Missy," he said bitterly, "I have learned of her attempt on the life of our son!"
Clara looked up at him:
Our son.
Yes, he wanted that child.
He wanted very much to be a father to him.
She hadn't seen that coming at all...
Then there was a knock at the door.
"I shall now do my duty," Strax said, and left the room to greet the caller.
Then Jenny, who had briefly left them, rejoined them as she brought in tea and set it down on the table.
"Thank you my dear," said Vastra, and the couple exchanged a look of deepest love.
The baby was still drinking the milk, and the bottle was almost empty.
"You're feeding well," Clara said, stroking the baby Sontaran's cheek as he continued to feed.
And then the atmosphere was darkened by raised voices down the hallway.
"No one is getting obliterated!" the Doctor shouted, "Shut up, Strax - and you shut up too, Missy!"
The three women exchanged a glance.
"Missy?" Clara said in alarm, "Why would he bring her back here?"
As Strax walked into the room followed by the Doctor and Missy, Vastra stood up.
"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded angrily, "Why have you brought this vile woman into my home?"
But the Doctor turned his attention to Clara, ignoring Vastra's words.
"Clara," the Doctor said, "I need to speak with you alone."
Then as she handed the baby to Vastra and got up, the Doctor shot a look to Strax.
"Watch Missy. By that I mean, see to it she sits down and shuts up. No obliterating anyone, okay?"
The Sontaran shot him a sour look, then glared at Missy as she sat down on an armchair and wiped away her tears.
Clara followed the Doctor out of the room, and then he closed the door behind them.
She looked at him impatiently.
"I know Strax will protect our son but I still don't like the idea of Missy in there with him! What's this about?"
It was then she noticed the look in the Doctor's eyes. He seemed devastated.
What's happened?"
Now her tone had changed to one of concern.
"Missy was pregnant. It was mine, she lost the baby."
"No, she has to be lying."
"She's not. I can feel her pain. She's not lying, Clara. And she is broken by this. She lost my child and she's broken! I need to make sure she's going to be okay. I'm going to leave for a while, and take her with me. I'd rather help her put herself back together than have her out there somewhere and even more unhinged than she used to be, because of a personal tragedy."
"And what about me, what about us and everything you said -"
"Clara, I've seen Strax. He wants to be a father and you can use this time to allow him to do that. And don't be so quick to push him away - there may come a day when you regret that choice."
Clara shook her head as she shot him a look of disbelief.
"How can you say that?"
He paused for thought, then lowered his voice as he spelled out the facts:
"It always depended on how Strax reacted. And he wants to be in his child's life. He's a Sontaran, with a Sontaran life span. Your son has a human life span. While it's true that Vastra resurrected him, it's no guarantee of a long life. Strax will eventually start to suffer the effects of the process breaking down. The bottom line is, he may not live to see his son grow up. Make the most of the time you have with him. For some species, life can be much shorter than others."
Clara was silent for a moment as she wondered why his words had such an impact. It wasn't as if she was in love with Strax...Although it was true she felt strangely closer to him now the baby had come along...
"I'm going to take Missy away from here, and I will return," the Doctor promised her, "So please Clara, make the most of this opportunity to be a real family with Strax and the baby, at least until I come back. Can you try to do that for me?"
She frowned as she thought about it, and then she nodded.
"But you won't be gone long?"
"Not too long," the Doctor replied, and then he opened the door and he went back into the parlour, and Clara followed, feeling as if life had suddenly turned upside down as she struggled to make sense of the Doctor's suggestion. Suddenly it felt like nothing made sense any more...