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"No, no, no," I muttered, looking down at the piece of plastic in my hands. Two lines. I'm pregnant.
"No, this can't be happening," I pleaded, wishing the lines would go away.
Suddenly another wave of nausea hit me. I fell to my knees, barely making it back to the toilet. I sat there heaving, losing all contents of my stomach. There shouldn't have been anything left to come up. I'd been deathly ill the past month and had hardly eaten anything.
Right after Anubis left I started feeling a little off. It was small things at first: being more tired than usual, the scent of food making me wrinkle my nose, my stomach bloating. Now it was horrible: I could barely force myself out of bed in the morning, I couldn't eat and if I did it wouldn't stay down; my stomach was still flat but that was definantly going to change-you know, if I didn't starve first.
Oh no, what was Anubis going to-?
Anubis.
Oh gods.
What if he left me? What if he never really loved me and had just been around for the sex? What if I had to take care of a half-human child for the rest of my life, all alone? I couldn't-no-I couldn't be a single mother at fourteen. The thought of never seeing Anubis again, alone with a child, no one to love me-what if the child didn't like me? What if I didn't make it through and my baby was an orphan? What if I did live through it? I'd grown up without a father for most of my life, did I really want to force that on an innocent child? Anubis was going to be here any minute, what was I supposed to tell him?
Panic started to build up. Suddenly it was hard to breath, hard to see straight. I curled over my stomach and screamed.
I don't know how long the panic attack lasted. All I know is that somewhere in the middle of it, Anubis rushed in and tried to pick me up, which resulted in me screaming again and thrashing, knocking my head against the tub. Red swam in front of my vision and I fell unconscious.
When I woke up, my head was in Anubis's lap and he was worriedly petting my head. I lifted one shaking hand and felt the bandages around my brow.
"Sadie!" he exclaimed, pulling me up and crushing me to his chest. "Gods, I didn't-you-it's been a year since you had a panic attack I didn't know what to do!"
I buried my face in his chest, stifling a sob as I remembered what had brought my panic attack on.
"Sadie, what's wrong?" Anubis said, holding me tightly.
I have to tell him, I thought, desperately trying not to fall apart.
"I'm pregnant," I choked.
He became very still. I looked up through my tears and saw him with a look of absolute shock and horror on his face. That expression was all it took. More tears filled my eyes and I started crying hysterically. I couldn't stop and I could barely breathe, but what didn't it matter?! He obviously didn't want the baby or me.
Eventually my sobs seemed to snap Anubis to the present because he began trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear him. Eventually he gave up and cradled me in his lap, pressing me into him roughly. I sobbed, apologizing over and over again. Anything to keep him from letting me go. I just needed to be held one last time.
My tears eventually ran dry and my voice became hoarse and I lay in a shaking mess in Anubis's lap, hiccupping into his shirt. Anubis's face was a mask of calmness as he petted and talked to me in soothing tones.
"Are you done?" he asked gently.
I nodded pathetically.
"I'm going to assume those were your hormones," he said calmly, putting his chin on my head. "I honestly didn't think they'd be that bad-but I was most definantly wrong. I guess I need to be keeping a closer eye on you."
I choked, looking up at him. "You're not-you're not leaving me?"
He looked down and for a moment looked genuinely shocked. "Sadie, you actually thought I would leave you because you're pregnant?!"
I nodded, flinching at the idea.
"I am not that lowly," he said vehemently, the anger in his voice chilling me to the bone. "It's insulting to know that you think I would act so disgustingly."
Tears filled my eyes again and I started to tremble. Anubis was never mad at me-irritated occasionally-but never mad. It was scary to see him like this.
Seeing my shaking melted his anger though. His voice dropped back into a soothing purr.
"No, don't cry," he pleaded. "I didn't mean to scare you, its okay."
"It's not ok-k-kay," I blubbered. "I don't know what to do-"
"Hush, hush," Anubis soothed, rubbing my back. I slumped into him, still hiccupping. My stomach was clenching painfully and my head hurt where I'd hit it.
"I don't feel good," I whimpered.
Anubis looked down at me in worry. "What's wrong? What hurts?"
"I'm starving," I said meekly. "I haven't eaten all week-"
"Sadie!"
"Nothing would stay down," I mumbled.
Anubis sighed, shaking his head. "There hasn't been an immortal child born in centuries, so I don't know much, but even if I didn't it might not apply since the child is only half human."
I buried my face in his chest.
"Sadie…" Anubis trailed off. "Are you sure-are you sure you want to keep it?"
I looked up at him. "I don't think I could kill a baby."
He nodded and buried his hands in my hair. I could tell he was deep in thought.
"Sadie, I don't think you can stay here," he finally said. "Officials from the House of Life pop in all the time, and once you start showing, they're going to want to know who the father is. Even if you lie, once the baby is born, it will be obvious. They'll kill you and the baby."
I looked up at him. He was right, of course, but- "where am I supposed to go?" I whispered. I couldn't live on the streets and going back to London….
"You'll come with me," he said. "I can hide you in the Duat until the child is born-"
"And then what?"
He looked down at me gravelly. "We present you and the child to your father and ask sanctuary for you from the other gods. He wouldn't kill his grandchild, or his daughter."
I thought for a moment, "when…when would I leave?"
"Now."
An hour later I had most my things packed. It felt strange, looking around my barren room. Anubis hadn't rushed me, he shadowed behind me, letting me take all the time in the world. I sighed, leaning into him.
"C'mon my love," he murmured, picking up my bags.
I followed him into the swirling vortex of shadow. It was cold and I clung tightly to Anubis.
When we stepped out I gasped. In front of me was a large temple, made of jet black stone, blue fire blazing in pits leading up the stairs. I looked at Anubis in wonder. He cracked on of his rare smiles that made my kneecaps turn to jelly.
"This is one of my old temples," he explained. He set my bags down on the first step and immediately a skeleton appeared. I squeaked and jumped behind Anubis. His eyes glittered with amusement.
"The great Sadie Kane, scared by a skeleton," he mused.
I punched him in the shoulder, my face turning bright red. The skeleton stood by, watching through hollow eye sockets. The effect was creepy.
"Please take these bags to my room and have it prepared for my mate, Lady Kane," Anubis ordered.
The skeleton's teeth clicked excitedly. As he picked my bags up, they disappeared into shadow, along with the skeleton. I looked at Anubis.
"You have a skeleton butler?"
He chuckled, "my dear Sadie, I have a skeleton everything. The dead serve me, and now you as well."
I balked. "Err-"
"Come along, your room should be ready," Anubis said happily, taking my hand. I took a step forward. My knees gave out and I hit the stone with a thud.
"Sadie!" Anubis exclaimed, dropping down to examine me.
"'m fine," I muttered. I tried to force my vision to focus, but it wouldn't. A wave of exhaustion hit me like a brick and I slumped into Anubis, too weak to support myself.
"You wore yourself out," Anubis realized. "Going through the Duat must've strained you more than usual."
It's the baby, I realized. I'd never just collapsed after a trip through the Duat.
Suddenly I was being carried. I looked up. Anubis had scooped me up and was carrying my up the steps of the temple. I didn't bother to argue and I relaxed. A little coddling now and then was probably good for me.
My vision started to dim….
What was I doing…?
I was sleeping wasn't I…?
Sleep…