The feeling of fingers slowly running through my hair slowly stirred me from sleep. Blinking I glanced over at the presence next to me, immediately catching emerald eyes. I reached up and entwined my hand with hers while slowly rolling my neck, relieving the tension built up from last night.

"Good morning Pipes." Smiling I rolled over to face Alex, arm supporting my head, as I swept my eyes down her barely covered figure. "Morning… How long have you been awake?"

Alex stared at our joined hands and slowly ran her thumb over the soft skin. Shrugging she replied, "Not long, you just looked really peaceful and I didn't want to wake you." Her eyes never left our hands as she adjusted her position beside me, her head leaning on her head for support.

"Alex?" Her shoulders immediately tensed and her jaw clenched as she prepared herself for the question we both knew needed to be asked. Images from last night were running through my brain. A torrent of questions flooded my thoughts as I struggled to understand the enigma that was Alex Vause. And yet as I watched her brace herself for my inquiry I couldn't make myself form a question. What if my curiosity forced our fragile, can I even call it a relationship, to end? I don't want to lose her. So instead of demanding answers, instead of probing for the truth, I simply sighed and said, "What's for breakfast?"

Her head immediately snapped up and her eyes were narrowed in both surprise and confusion. I offered her a soft smile which immediately caused her shoulders to relax, her brow to unfurrow. "Uh, I can whip up some pancakes or something if you want? I have eggs too, and I think a few things of oatmeal left if you'd rather go the healthy route."

"Pancakes sound perfect." Alex continued to stare at me in disbelief, as if she was expecting me to end this façade at any moment. Smiling, I rolled my eyes and crawled from the bed. Grabbing an old Grateful Dead t-shirt from one of her drawers I began to partially dress as I headed towards her kitchen. "Whenever you're ready feel free to join me."

I had already poured a glass of juice by the time Alex decided to join me. Grabbing the glass from my hand she took a long sip. "I should've known you'd be an orange juice type of girl. As refreshing as this is I'm going to need some coffee if I'm going to function." Reaching behind me she grabbed a bag of beans and a grinder and began to dole out a portion. "You want some?"

Shaking my head I agreed and leaned against a counter to watch her work. After grinding the beans and transferring to the pot she began working on the pancakes while the coffee brewed.

"So do your cooking skills expand beyond breakfast foods or are you a one trick pony?"

Smirking she turned and raised an eyebrow. "I guess you'll have to stick around and find out." With that she resumed pouring batter into the pan. I fought to keep my face straight as I processed what her words.

She wants me to stick around… This could work. We could be ok. I felt something begin to stir in my chest. Something I spent my entire life trying to avoid. Rather than acknowledge the fact that I was falling hard for this women I decided to focus on something more tangible, breakfast.

Alex began to hum as she tossed the finished products onto a plate. Grabbing two mugs she poured the steaming coffee and glanced over asking, "Pipes you want sugar or something?"

"Oh god yes, thanks." With an expert hand, she poured a perfect amount of sugar into the mug, stirred, and handed it over to my waiting hands. "Thanks," I whispered as I took a tentative sip. Moaning I sighed, "Alex this is fucking perfect. Where on earth did you get this?"

Swallowing hard, Alex shook her head and made her way to the table with the plate of pancakes. "It's from that café Amelie's downtown. They're stuff is Free Trade and well, really great… Though if you make that noise again I can't promise that I'll be able to control myself from taking you right here on the floor." Winking she sat down as she doled out fluffy goodness onto our plates.

My face flushed bright red as I opened and closed by mouth not able to form any coherent words. Laughter pulled me from my thoughts as I looked over and saw Alex motioning towards the chair. "Geez Pipes lighten up. Come eat."

Sitting down I poured syrup onto the pancakes and took my first bite. "Ok I guess if you'd prefer to eat that I won't take it as an insult. Just know I was referencing something else."

I immediately began to choke as I fought laughter. Spluttering I was finally able to swallow the food and gulp in a breath of air. "You asshole!" Laughing Alex flicked her napkin in my direction as I fought to regain my composure.

As her mirth died down she sipped on the coffee, eyes still alight with humor and a sliver of a smile on her lips. I want this every morning. This is what happiness looks like. Catching my gaze her eyebrows rose in question at the wonder in my eyes. Shaking my head I looked down and continued to eat, pushing the unsettling thoughts as far from my mind as possible. Those thoughts would only lead to pain.

The rest of the morning flew by in the same blissful state. Dishes were cleared as we cleaned in unison, a perfect pair. An hour was spent in the shower, worshipping each other once again, internally begging for this to never end. As I gathered my belongings to leave I felt two arms circle around my waist and soft lips pressed to my neck.

"When can I see you again?" Closing my eyes I let her presence wash over me as I leaned into her embrace and sighed. "Whenever you want. Call and I'll come."

Immediately the arms left me, her presence retreating from my personal space. I turned in surprise; confused over what I'd said that caused this sudden change. With arms folded Alex stared at me for what seemed like ages before lifting a hand to fiddle with her glasses. "You'll come here?"

My eyes flitted over her features searching for the hidden message I knew she was projecting. "Yeah… that would be easiest right? I mean if you would prefer to meet up somewhere that's fine too."

Clenching her jaw, Alex averted her gaze to stare at the bookshelf across the room. "I see." She shifted from one foot to the other before motioning towards the door. "I guess I'll see you later then." With that she turned and walked back towards her living room leaving me standing with an open mouth and furrowed brow. What the fuck?

"Alex wait. What did I do?" I stormed after her and grabbed her arm; turning her to face me, to tell me where I had messed up. "Nothing Pipes. Forget it. I just thought… ya know what no, it's nothing."

I frantically searched her eyes, desperately looking for a clue. "Alex, please. What… what did you think?" She just stared blankly at me, mask fully in place. "What do you want from this Pipes?"

What? You, I obviously want you. "I don't understand… You mean do I want a relationship?" Her silence was my only answer. "I… well do you?" With a scoff she walked towards the window gazing out onto the vibrant city below.

"Alex, Alex look at me." Sighing she slowly turned to face me. "Alex, I want you. But I'm not a child. I get it, really I do. You've told me countless times that you don't do relationships and I understand that. I don't do well with commitment either. I've never had anyone I wanted to tie myself down to… but Alex I want you. So I'll play your game. If you want a no strings attached relationship I'm game. If you want handholding and picnics I'll do that too. I just… I don't know what you want Alex. Tell me what you want."

She continued to stare as if searching for the truth behind my words. Then she sighed and ran a hand over her face. "I want… Pipes you met my friends. I'm not hiding you. But you didn't want me coming to your apartment and now you're scheduling all of our time together here, hidden away. What the hell was I supposed to think? No I don't do relationships but I don't want to be your dirty little secret either."

"Ok." Cupping her face I forced her to meet my gaze. "Ok. I can do that. I just didn't… I didn't know Alex. You have to understand that this is all new to me. I'm not good with this type of stuff. I don't know what to do." Leaning in I kissed her lips, refusing to move until she kissed me back, reassured me that we were good. We're ok. This will work.

"Why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow? Polly will be there. She's an asshole but I love her. I'll try to get her to tone it down but I'm warning you now, she can be quite… intense."

Alex offered a quick smile before nodding. "Alright sure. I'm sure I can handle Holly."

Oh God. "Yeah call her Holly tomorrow and see how far you make it unscathed, I dare you." Chuckling she moved herself away from me and motioned towards the door again. "Well you better get going before Holly calls the has a coronary. I'll see you tomorrow."

Searching her face once more I tried to find the reassurance that everything was in fact ok. Her smile didn't reach her eyes but at least it was there. Her eyes seemed confused, almost as if she didn't know herself what was happening. I decided to risk it and grabbed my stuff once more. Opening the door I glanced back and offered what I hoped was a reassuring smile. Then I slipped into the hall and tried to figure out what I was going to tell Polly. In the back of my mind a small voice whispered it's going to be ok. We have to be ok.

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