What Love Is

By Semerket

Chapter 6: Comfort Food

Later that evening…

Dr. Gadlow peered at her computer monitor. There were so many records to update and so little time. She yawned and lifted her glasses to rub her bloodshot eyes. She was reaching for her coffee mug when the phone on her desk rang; she grabbed the receiver instead.

"Dr. Gadlow."

"Yea, Doc, it's me Taylor. We're getting complaints about Isley again- she won't shut up and everybody's tryin' to sleep. She's driving security nuts too. Can we have permission to dose her?"

The special sedative was an excellent tool and had worked wonders on Pamela when she had first arrived; however, there was always the concern that if they used it too much her unique physiology would develop immunities to it. It was designed only for serious emergencies and noise was not such an emergency.

"Could she harm herself?"

"She's banging on the walls. I mean she's kinda bruised up, but I dunno. I figured she'd tire out at some point. She'll shriek until she's hoarse and then sit down for a few minutes and then she starts up all over again with the ranting... Something about her beloved barrel cactus…"

Dr. Gadlow had been entertaining an idea for the better part of the day. Perhaps now was an appropriate time to put said idea into action. "Mr. Taylor, is the standard cell beside Pamela still vacant?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Has it been sanitized and prepared for habitation?"

"Yesterday."

"I'll meet you in your office."

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

Ivy was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her cell wearing her leafy lingerie. She was on cooldown for the moment. Her scratchy uniform pants had been haphazardly tossed to the side and her blouse was partially unbuttoned. She'd rather toss the whole thing away, but Arkham was drafty this time of year.

"Red!"

Ivy perked up immediately at the exuberant voice. Sure enough, there was Harley Quinn slowly making her way towards their cell-block. She was on crutches. They, Dr. Gadlow and an orderly she didn't recognize, were escorting her down the hall. She was in terrible shape. Ivy got up and moved to the side of her enclosure nearest to them.

"Oh my gawd! This is my girl!" She said to Dr. Gadlow happily, she was glassy-eyed and slurring, "This is Red. She's so cool." Harley was practically bouncing with joy on her crutches. Ivy wondered what kind of meds they had her on today, clearly some serious pain killers.

"Harley!" Her voice was rough and overcome with surprise.

The blond paused and turned to her. She may have been on crutches, but she was still struggling to hold herself up. "It's sho good to see you, Red." Her voice was much too tired and weak for Ivy's liking. She smiled, "Well not here, of course."

"What happened to you?" Ivy demanded loudly. "You shouldn't be on crutches- you should be in a wheelchair. No! You should be resting!" She glared at Dr. Gadlow. "Who the hell is your doctor? I'll kill that fucking clown!"

Leslie knew this idea would either be a boon or a disaster. The brunette intervened. She said to Ivy, "Pamela, it's getting late and Harley needs to rest now in order to recover. You can speak to her tomorrow in the cafeteria."

"I'm gonna be near you now, Red." Harley smiled sleepily as she turned away and they walked her into the nearby room. After a few moments they came out. Dr. Gadlow observed Ivy. She had already settled down into her own bed.

Gadlow thought she was slick, but Ivy was wise to her. Using Harley to coerce her into behaving was clever.

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

Ivy stood up and stalked over to the immobilized clown. She slapped him soundly. Everyone looked on in a shocked stupor. Joker included. Then he shrieked, "I'll kill you, you plant bitch! When I get out of this restraint I'll-"

He wasn't allowed to finish because Ivy stabbed him in the neck. His shrieking was now a wet gurgling sound. Ivy felt herself become angrier and angrier and she kept stabbing him and stabbing him. The others had backed away from the grizzly scene as the orderlies raced in. Harley was frozen in shock, but Ivy didn't care. It felt so good. The obnoxious clown had expired during the first few blows, but she hadn't begun to slow down until she felt her arm tire out. The last thing she saw was an orderly's fist connecting with her face.

She regained consciousness as they tossed her into a cell. She wasn't sure where she was- she had never seen this part of Arkham. This was where the hardcore serial killers were kept. Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard the deranged voice of Zsas from the cell across from her.

"What brings the pretty flower to this part of Arkham?"

Ivy looked down at her hands. She was caked in drying blood. She laughed. She laughed loudly and happily. "I stabbed the Joker until he stopped laughing."

"Oh! Tell me everything. I love the way the knife feels as it tears through flesh..." What a freak. Ivy could never understand why anyone bothered keeping that wretched piece of human refuse alive. He wasn't worth it at all.

She walked to the other side of the room as she tried to ignore his ramblings. The door suddenly swung open to admit Batman.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I was just informed that you killed the Joker."

News traveled fast. Did he have a room at the facility or something? "That would be correct." Ivy had a hint of pride in her voice. She deserved an award. "So what are you going to do about it, Batman?"

Batman reached down and pressed a button on his utility. Expecting something painful to occur, Ivy blinked in surprise when Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' song started to play. She was more than mortified when Batman proceeded to do a strip tease.

She wasn't horrified because of the Rodent's gyrations- it was rather amusing to watch the caped crusader debase himself in this way. No, she was devastated to realize that this marvelous experience had all been just a silly dream. Although in hindsight she probably should have noticed much earlier, especially considering that for reason's unknown to her, she had been dressed up as Norman Bate's mother. There was also the matter of her third grade teacher being Batman. She'd always thought Ms. Canderly was mannish.

Ivy groaned as she heard the sound of a stick banging loudly on their cell doors.

"Rise and shine assholes!" Mr. Taylor barked with contempt as he passed by.

Despite the night being a bit of a letdown, she couldn't help but feel exhilarated. Two-Face picked up on it immediately as he peered at her from his own cell that was across from hers.

"Have a wet one, Pammy?"

Ew.

She said through a yawn, "I dreamt I brutally murdered Joker during group therapy."

"I love those!"

Ivy felt her spirits elevate further as she remembered that today she could see Harley! She hoped it wouldn't be in a damn straitjacket. They'd been bringing meals to her cell until she was out of 'quarantine.' She could see that Harley wasn't currently in her cell at the moment. She hoped the blond was alright.

Ivy paced agitatedly until two guards stopped outside the door to her enclosure. Both guards were women, though they were masculine enough to make you consider that fact for a moment. "Well, Isley, if you think you can handle it then we'll let you have brunch with the others today."

"Oh, goodie." The redhead purred.

"Clothes first." She gestured to Ivy's scantily clad leafy self.

Ivy grudgingly donned the drab Arkham attire. She moved over to the door to be let out.

"Shoes."

Oops. She wasn't used to wearing them. She slipped on a pair of plain white tennis shoes (hideous!) and moved back over to the door.

[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]

Ivy scanned the cafeteria as soon as she stepped inside. It was relatively crowded. Usually the only inmates allowed inside were deemed the least violent towards others. Despite Ivy's recent tantrums, she had always been relatively trustworthy when it came to eating. Her paranoia made it important to see the food as it was placed on her tray; otherwise she might stop eating and accuse the staff of plotting to kill her. At the very least, it had always been an effective strategy for ensuring she kept her cafeteria privileges.

"Gaia," She mumbled to herself in disgust, "Where'd they all come from?" She made a mental note that there were quite a few high profile rogues here. Everyone seemed to end up in Arkham around the same time. Ivy suspected it was because they didn't want to deal with the cold. Free meals and a heated environment could be enticing to a criminal. The rogues treated Arkham more like a hotel that they came and went from as they pleased than as a mental health facility. 'I'm going to the spa,' is how Scarecrow had described it on one occasion. It was either that, or the Rodent had been working overtime.

Ivy grabbed her food tray from the cafeteria lady. Ivy could tell by the way the woman eyed her that she was expecting some kind of rant or complaint from the green woman. Luckily for her, Ivy was fixated on seeing Harley and not the quality of her food… today. She scanned the room again. Sadly, Harley didn't seem to be there. Maybe she wasn't feeling well today.

Ivy made her way over to her usual table. She preferred it because it afforded her a good view of the entire room and all the entrances and exits. It would also be more difficult for someone to sneak up behind her since it was in the back row, about ten feet away from the wall. There was one small problem, however.

It was occupied.

She strode over to the table confidently. The inmates stopped eating to stare at her. She announced, "You are at my table." They all wordlessly grabbed their trays and filed away leaving it all to Ivy. She sat down with a smug grin. "Still got it." Other nearby inmates that had witnessed the scene took a collective sigh of relief that she hadn't decided to claim their own area. There was no competing with her toxic advantages.

Ivy stared down at her tray of something formerly vegetables and sighed. She didn't feel like eating. Harley was such a... a... argh! Words could never adequately describe the bubbly mess of energy that was Harley Quinn. The redhead was torn between her frustration at Harley's departure and the realization that she had been hurt very badly. Ivy's nostrils flared in annoyance. She wanted to see her friend, but she hadn't come to brunch. So here she was, sulking alone like a wallflower at prom.

"Mind if we?"

Ivy was startled by the question directed her way. Most inmates feared her wrath enough to give her a wide berth so conversation attempts by anyone other than Harley were few and far between. Two-Face, however, had been different. He was one of the few rogues that Ivy might consider a friend. Well, not a friend. It's not like they got together and painted each other's toenails half/half while gossiping about boys or anything. Two-Face was one of the few that didn't seem to openly fear her, but instead offered a professional respect.

She supposed it was because they had some things in common. They both experienced feelings of isolation due to sudden changes in appearance, people feared their legendary mood swings, and they both had fanatical and irrational convictions. His more so than hers, of course; as a matter of fact, there wasn't anything irrational about Ivy's man-hating tree-loving obsessions. Apparently, group therapy hadn't been completely useless.

Harvey Dent motioned towards the seat across from her. She smirked, "Sure, it's not like you need a reservation."

He had barely sat down before the question came out, "So I hear you were busted by the Bat on the way out of here…" Harvey picked at his sandwich as he waited for a response. Half of the sandwich was ham and cheese, the other was peanut butter and jelly, one had a small salad next to it, the other had potato chips.

"And who did you hear that from, Harvey?" Ivy purred amicably, but her eyes held a clear warning.

He shrugged, "Oh, just curious. It's not like we get cable you know." She could tell she was talking to Harvey at the moment. To say that Harvey's other personality was less than polite was an understatement.

Ivy chuckled. She figured it was Nygma, the little gossip. He was worse than a teenage girl. "Collecting gossip for the others are you? I take it you drew the shortest straw."

"Ha!" He let out a loud guffaw, and then the tone of his voice changed slightly and became gruffer. "Oh Pammy, you are so paranoid. It's incredible."

It wasn't paranoia when she was right, and she hated when people called her that. Only the ugly one called her that. Harvey called her 'Ivy'. Ivy glowered at him and said in clipped tones, "You didn't deny it."

He was used to her pivoting moods since he had his own to contend with. He continued unintimidated, "Well, Ivy, you've got to admit it isn't exactly typical for someone to escape before they make it to their cell." He shrugged, "You're infamous now. More than usual anyway. It's kind of cool." He winked at her with his good eye and smiled charmingly. It was a shame that his face was scarred; he had been a handsome man before the incident. At least half of him was still attractive.

She leaned forward and asked seductively, "Do you want my autograph, Harvey?"

He chuckled and instinctively leaned away, "That won't be necessary, Ivy."

A nasally voice chuckled, "Aw, Red, are you seducing people already?"

Ivy's head snapped towards the familiar voice. It was difficult for the redhead to not tackle Harley to the ground and smother her with sloppy wet kisses like some poor lost dog that had just been reunited with its owner. Unfortunately, the busy cafeteria surrounded by security and their criminal peers was not the time and place for a 'hug'. "Harley!"

The blond was still using crutches, but she was moving around much more easily today. Upon closer inspection Ivy realized that she was only using one to help her with her bad leg. Her other hand was occupied holding her tray.

Ivy instinctively reached out and set it on the table beside her own tray. "Have a seat, Harl."

The blond gimped over and sat down next to her. She acknowledged Two-Face, "Hi guys."

"Hello Quinn."

"We're gonna talk about feminine stuff now…" Harley chuckled.

"I do believe that's my cue to leave. I can't have the other's thinking we're all BFFs." He was done with his food anyway.

After he left, Harley turned to face Ivy. The redhead was nearly blinded by the smile that erupted on the woman's face. "Red! I haven't seen you in like... Like forevah! Tell me where ya been!"

Ivy got straight to business. "You weren't in your cell this morning."

"That's when I have physical therapy."

"Ah." Ivy offered a small smile.

Harley continued, "What'd they do to you? Was it solitary? I heard you set Jervis' head on fire." The harlequin's large blue eyes lit up in amusement at the last part.

Ivy blinked her eyes, "Um, no..."

Harley pouted, "Really?"

Ivy smirked and purred, "Not really my style, Harl."

"Oh..."

Ivy tore open a packet of dressing, "If you must know," She went about drizzling the vinaigrette onto her salad, "They felt that I needed some additional time in quarantine."

"Did it work?"

Her voice was laced voice with cynicism, "Does it ever?"

"Oh, Red. I'm just so glad to see you!" Ivy studied her intently. Harley's demeanor shifted and she now seemed positively depressed, "Red, I'm so sorry I broke my promise to you. I didn't want to, but circumstances," She had a far off look in her eyes, "Were beyond my control." She chuckled, but it sounded more like a sigh.

She gently squeezed Harley's thigh under the table. "What happened to you?" She was more concerned than upset with the blond. Harley looked like she had been bench-pressed by Wonder Woman.

"Oh, you know, Red." She tried to sound nonchalant, but it was clear that discussing it bothered her, she noticed that her hand was shaking slightly. "High speed chases. Car wreck. Happened the night after I last saw ya." Ivy gave her a look that said she expected the blond to elaborate. "Joker thought-"

She was utterly disgusted, "Oh, here we go. I knew he was involved somehow!"

Harley sighed. She wasn't even going to defend him this time. "He thought it would be funny to see me drive with the breaks out. But then Batsy showed up and in the chaos he forgot the breaks didn't work no more. I didn't have my seat belt on and when it flipped I got tossed out the windshield."

"And let me guess, not a scratch on that little monster?" Luckily for them, Joker was so violent that he had no out-of-cell privileges. They also kept him in old Arkham since he didn't have any powers or special abilities like most of the denizens of Sector Seven.

Harley shrugged, "So that's why I wasn't able to come back to you. It was pretty bad so they took me to Gotham Medical, then they transferred me to Arkham's infirmary when they thought I was well enough. But don't worry about me, Red. I'm gonna be okay." She tried to sound perky, but it was muted.

"I'm glad you'll be alright, Harley."

"Yea, me too. I got lucky, just a few broken bones- ribs, collarbone, leg. Worst thing was the head injury." Harley chuckled, but it was devoid of humor, "The thing is, if I hadn't got tossed out I probably wouldn't be sittin' here talkin' to ya. The passenger side was completely kaput."

"Can I kill him now?"

Harley laughed sincerely. "Oh, Red, if you did that they'd revoke your privileges."

"It might be worth it."

"I'm surprised you didn't see it on the news."

Ivy was annoyed, "My babies caught the birdbrain snooping and I had to seek out a new hideout. Twice. I didn't have electricity at the other two." Why was everything Batman's fault? Damn his silly sidekick!

The blond's demeanor shifted and she wiped her eyes suddenly. "Are you alright, Harl?"

"I… my babies were in the car. Mistah J said they didn't make it." Laughing pancakes- that's what he had called them. The most 'hilarious roadkill ever'. That bastard. "But I'm not sure if he's just sayin' that or if it's true."

Ivy frowned. She knew how much Harley loved those hideous, driveling, mangy animals. They looked like something Gaia had fashioned out of dog and cat leftovers. Ivy squeezed her hand reassuringly. "We can find out what happened. One day, when we leave this rat hole."

"Yea, I guess. But it doesn't make me feel any bettah. They wouldn't have been in the car if it wasn't for me…" The blond shrugged. Ivy could see the scrapes and cuts along Harley's face. She assumed it was from the windshield. Harley turned away uncomfortably and focused on her sandwich. She sighed, "Yea, I look bad. I know."

The redhead patted Harley's thigh sympathetically before she quietly began to eat too.

A few minutes later, Harley was the one that broke the silence, "I've been meanin' to thank you- for the thoughtful gift."

Ivy raised an eyebrow. She had no idea what she was talking about.

"The snowglobe. It was really cute." She considered telling Pamela what had happened to it, but then thought better of it. Telling her would only result in the untimely deaths of any nearby inmates.

"Oh," Ivy's eyes lit up with recognition. She smiled, "I thought you'd like that. It made me think of you."

The redhead was so good to her. Harley was suddenly warmed with emotion, "Aw, I love my Puddin'."

Harley leaned in and kissed her on the lips affectionately. The kiss was brief, but had lasted long enough to be more than platonic. Ivy was more than a bit startled and glanced about. Fortunately no one seemed to notice because it had happened so fast, that, or they had sense enough to pretend that they hadn't noticed. Pamela Isley showing affection towards anything other than a plant was technically big news.

Ivy was just about to relax when she felt a hand wrap around her neck and yank her backwards away from the table. "Damn it, Isley. Keep your toxic lips to yourself! Wade, get Quinn to detox. Now!"

"Yes, Mr. Taylor."

"Wait! It's not her fault- it's not whatcha think…" Harley tried to explain.

Taylor glowered at Ivy, his black eye was just about healed, "And if you even think of spitting on me I'll make you wish you were never born." He hissed in her ear. She rolled her eyes. Men. Doing just the opposite of his suggestion she spat right in his eye. "You fucking viper!" His hands were around her throat as guards and orderlies immediately intervened.

Ivy was manhandled all the way back to her cell and Taylor was dragged to detox with Harley.