DISCLAIMER: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite, Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori. I like pie.

Chapter 4: Fun With the Host Club

Rukia liked the Host Club. It was peaceful in a chaotic kind of way. When not drawing with Hunny, she was content to just sit back and watch the idiots flail around. At the moment though, she was drawing with Hunny. Her markers rasped across the page, releasing a faint scent of chemicals that she'd long grown used to. Hunny was drawing too but he preferred crayons and tended to take a lot of snack breaks. Three girls sat with them, they also had drawing supplies but they mostly watched and talked to Hunny and occasionally Rukia. Mori was with them as well, but he was sipping tea on the opposite couch, his entourage sitting shyly nearby, content to watch, apparently.

She kind of liked hanging around with the girls too – even though they were all vapid, two dimensional people. Her schoolgirl act and Kuchiki upbringing (such as it was) blended well in this setting.

"Would you like some cake Rukia-chan?" Hunny asked, eyes sparkling in the afternoon sunlight.

Rukia slapped on her most glittery smile. "Yes please! Just let me finish my drawing Hunny-senpai!"

"Okay! I'll slice you a piece. Do you want chocolate or cherry?"

"Hmmm… can I have chocolate with a cherry on top?"

"Ooooh yeah! That sounds great! I'll have that too!"

"I'll get it for you, Mitsukuni." Mori said, moving to rearrange the cake toppings.

Rukia didn't look up as the girls squeed over the boys and cake and whatever other cuteness was happening. It was funny to listen to though. She finished her drawing with a flourish and flipped it over for everyone to see. "All done!"

"That's so cute Rukia-chan!" Hunny laughed. "Here's your cake!"

"So cuuuute!" The girls gushed.

Rukia grinned and set her sketchbook down, taking the offered plate with a dip of her head. "Thank you everyone!"

Oh yes, this was a good place. She wondered if she could talk Ichigo into starting a Host Club at his school… no that wasn't going to happen. Speaking of… she glanced up as Ichigo and Renji ambled back into the room, talking about sports, apparently. Weren't they supposed to be doing something? Wasn't she supposed to be doing something, for that matter? She frowned down at her cake then picked up a fork. The souls had stopped appearing a little while ago, and there hadn't been any hollows; Renji and Ichigo apparently hadn't needed her help with whatever it was they were up to.

"Is something wrong, Rukia-chan?" Hunny asked, propping his elbows on the table. He had a smudge of chocolate on his cheek that every girl present wanted to wipe off but dared not.

Rukia shook herself back to the present and smiled. "No, I just remembered something I need to do later."

As she listened to the idle chatter, she caught sight of Kon at the edge of the activity, brooding away. She was surprised he'd drawn as many customers as he had already, and he wasn't doing half as good a job as being mysteriously dark as Ichigo did – not that Ichigo did a great job at it. Well, she'd always been able to see right through that act anyway so maybe she wasn't the best judge. The girls bought it though. She smirked behind her tea cup. I wonder what the Strawberry thinks of Kons little entourage…

Ichigo rolled across the floor in an office chair a little while later, Renji trailing lazily behind him in a chair of his own. Rukia wondered where they'd found the chairs, and why they were rolling around the music room in them, then realized something the boys had apparently forgotten.

"Are you done yet?" Ichigo whined, rolling up to her. He was draped backwards in the chair, nudging himself along with one foot. "Doesn't the club only last for an hour after class?"

Renji – who was slouched in his chair, pushing himself along backwards – rolled up behind him and grunted his agreement. "Yeah, we're bored, lets go do something fun."

Rukia just stared at them, her eyes flicking to the mass of girls huddled behind Hunny and Mori. She wasn't quite sure how to respond, luckily, she didn't have to.

"Mori-kun? Where'd those chairs come from!? Why are they moving on their own?" One of the girls whimpered.

Rukia grinned as Renji and Ichigo realized their mistake. Just because no one could see them didn't mean they couldn't see the chairs. Their eyes bugged out of their heads.

"Nice going!" Renji snapped, carefully standing so as not to move the chair anymore.

"What? It was your idea!" Ichigo snapped back, spinning the chair around to look at him.

"Quit moving the chair, idiot! And I just suggested bothering Rukia."

Ichigo rolled his eyes then climbed to his feet. "Yeah, but you were the one who didn't want to get up."

"The chairs were your idea!"

"You went along with it!"

Rukia bit her lip as they got louder. She couldn't exactly intervene… stupid idiots. She would be content to let them argue since only herself, Tamaki and Kon could hear them, but arguments between Ichigo and Renji rarely stayed civil – heck, they didn't even consider it a proper argument if it didn't come to blows.

She swept her indigo eyes around the room; unfortunately, everyone had noticed the chairs rolling around. Tamaki fidgeted a short distance away, in the same boat she was. Kon ambled over, smirking. This gave her an idea, it might make things worse, or it might make things hilariously worse. Wiping an evil grin off of her face, she set her expression to damsel-in-distress and hurried over to Kon.

"What is it Kurosaki-kun? Is the room haunted?" She gasped, clinging to his blazer. The fangirls gasped as she made physical contact with him.

Kon nearly jumped out of his skin. "Nee-sa…? I mean… uh. Yes, yes the room is haunted."

"Are you sure?" She snuggled closer, half hiding her face in his chest, mostly to muffle the laughter that was bubbling out of her.

Kon wrapped an arm protectively around her, his voice took on a vaguely haunted tone, as if he'd seen this sort of thing before, giving his fangirls a glimpse into his inner world. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."

They ate it up; were alternately jealous of, and envious of Rukia. They settled on envious after a very quick conversation; none of them really had the guts to approach the "bad boy" just yet.

Perfect! Rukia stifled a giggle. Three, two, one…

"What the hell are you doing!? Kon, get your hands offa her!"

"Uh, Ichigo that's not a good idea…"

Rukia braced herself as Kon seemed about to fall… she snapped her eyes open, felt a blush creeping up her cheeks as she realized that Ichigo was holding her now and that… that for some reason that made a difference. He pushed her back gently and gave her a weird look, his hands on her shoulders.

"Had to keep you two from tearing up the room." She muttered, then a bit louder, added a quiver to her voice. "What should we do Kurosaki-kun?"

And now he was in the hot seat. Ichigo blinked, glanced up at Renji (who was grinning like an idiot), swept his gaze around the room, at the large group of girls staring questioningly at him, and the smaller knot of girls staring starry eyed.

Shit. "Well, uh, there's not much we can do. But I don't think they mean any harm." Ichigo scowled at Renji. If he didn't stop grinning like that he was going to get his ass handed to him!

"Indeed! There's no need to worry!" Tamaki stepped foreword and gestured to the chairs. "I suspect the ghosts saw all of us having so much fun and wanted to join in!"

The girls shifted uneasily, murmured amongst themselves. Just when things started to settle down, Renji got a little glint in his eye. "Better make this good guys!"

Rukia snapped her head around just in time to see Renji place his hands on the backs of the chairs, spin them so that they were both facing foreword, then pushed them back to the staging room at a run. Silently cursing him, Rukia gritted her teeth and buried her head in Ichigos chest. He nearly jumped out of his skin but wrapped his arms around her almost reflexively.

"Uh, Rukia, what're you doing?" He hissed as excited conversation engulfed the room, as everyone dispersed to investigate or hide.

"Playing the damsel in distress." She ground out, taking note of the fact that he hadn't let go of her yet.

"Got that. Why?"

She grinned and looked up. "You ruin my afternoon, I ruin yours. You get to entertain Kons guests until the end of the day now."

All of the color drained out of his face. "You're kidding me…"

"There's still a good half an hour left." Rukia said softly, taking a step back, letting her hands linger on his chest for a moment as she blushed and looked down, watching the fangirls out of the corner of her eye. There were more of them now. "Thank you, Kurosaki-kun."

She scampered back to her sketchbook, stifling a deranged giggle.

Ichigo watched her go, he wasn't sure if he should whimper and run away or follow her and yell at her. Apparently, Kons guests interpreted his expression far differently and were suddenly huddled together a meter away and inching closer.

"You're so brave, Kurosaki-kun!"

"Are you secretly in love with Kuchiki-san?"

"How do you know so much about ghosts?"

Ichigo stared at them, his eye twitching as he fought the urge to run away screaming. Half an hour, he could brood for half an hour, Kon was basically ignoring them right? He could do that.

"Rukia-san? You're not going to join us?" One of the girls asked.

She smiled sweetly. "Oh no, that's alright. I think I'll draw with Hunny-senpai some more!"

Before Ichigo could muster up a death glare, the girls edged closer. "Poor Kurosaki-kun! No wonder you're so sad…"

Ichigo winced as the girls closed in on him. Rukia was so dead.

Rukia had to keep from giggling every time the girls inched closer to Ichigo, who would then inch away – he was wedged in the corner of one of the couches. Thus far none of the girls had dared to move to the couch yet. She supposed it was a tad cruel to do that to him; he was seriously clueless when it came to girls and this wasn't helping. It was also terribly entertaining. It didn't get any better than Ichigo pretending to be Kon pretending to be Ichigo (and failing miserably). She made a mental note to make it up to him later. Maybe let him win a (very) small argument, or… well she'd figure something out.

After about ten minutes, Haruhi apparently felt sorry for him and decided to give him some back up. That or she was avoiding running to the store to buy more instant coffee (her guests had to leave early). Rukia wasn't entirely sure. She could just hear them over the soft giggles of the girls drawing with she and Hunny (he had drawn Rukia as a bunny, much to her delight (so going on the fridge). It was interesting to note how the fangirls reacted to Haruhi sitting quite casually on the couch a polite distance from Ichigo; they were curious, to say the least.

"Why did you decide to apply to Ouran, Kurosaki-kun?" One of the girls asked.

"Uh…"

"Didn't you say it was your Dads idea?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah." Ichigo confirmed slowly.

"But you don't want to be here do you, Kurosaki-kun?" A different girl all but growled, eyeing Ichigo like a predator eyes prey. Rukia made a mental note to keep an eye on that one.

"No." He snorted, somehow managing to keep his cool as he pressed himself deeper into the couch cushions. The conversation stayed on that thread but, curiously no one asked why he was giving the Host Club a shot. It occurred to Rukia a bit belatedly that that would ruin the fun. It just made her fun better though; she realized that no actual "bad boy" would be caught dead in a club like this, which meant that the girls already knew Ichigo wasn't as bas ass as he liked people to think (admitably he could be, when he needed to), which meant whatever image he was trying to project was already effectively ruined. It was the burn that just kept on burning! It was only a matter of time before he figured it out, then her revenge would be complete!

She resisted the urge to cackle maniacally as she began coloring in her picture of Hunny as a bunny. Then things took an interesting turn…

"So, what does your mom think?"

Rukia started, snapped her gaze up just in time to watch Ichigos mood shift just slightly. It was impossible to tell from his expression, which was a carefully crafted mask of indifference but she could see it in his eyes, even from this distance.

"My Mom died when I was nine." His tone was far too neutral. Rukia bit her lip, almost got up to bail him out…

"Mine died when I was six." Haruhi said softly after a slight pause.

There was a longer pause wherein Haruhi and Ichigo regarded one another curiously. Then the fangirls started to gush as the "Bad Boy" and the "Natural" seemed to have found some common ground. Tragic common ground to boot. Tamaki emerged slowly over the back of the couch, only his hair and eyes were visible as he shifted his gaze suspiciously between Ichigo and Haruhi.

"That's part of why I came to this school." Haruhi continued. Weather or not she was aware of it, she'd just gotten sparkly. "I'm going to be a lawyer like her."

Rukia felt her jaw drop as Ichigo smiled faintly. Then his expression changed to mild puzzlement. "This may be an odd question, but is your dad completely insane?"

Haruhi blinked. "Yes, actually."

"I'm not crazy!" Tamaki yelped, jumping up.

"You're also not my father." Haruhi countered flatly.

Tamaki looked stricken. He was down in a heartbeat, huddled in the furthest corner, shadows gathered about his hunched form.

Ichigo half turned to look over the back of the couch. "Wow. You need to show me how to do that."

Haruhi burst out laughing.

The fangirls looked a bit confused.

Rukia dropped the marker she'd been holding. He really did make her laugh! He'd said he had… and logically she knew that Ichigo could be funny (usually not on purpose), and Tamaki was an easy target but – the hell?!

"Is something wrong, Rukia-san?"

Rukia let her gaze drift back to the three girls sitting with them. She blinked cluelessly. "Oh, nothing…I think Hell just might have frozen over just now."

"I'm kind of surprised you haven't already." Haruhi gave him a quizzical look.

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "Well, I've been mean to him, but I don't think he's really fazed by that…"

The twins slowly rose above the back of the couch, shifted their gaze between Ichigo and Haruhi, exchanged glances, then disappeared again, only to materialize by Tamaki.

"Not really." Haruhi shook her head. "Hmm. You know, I really don't know how to send him to his corner… it just kind of happens." She shrugged.

"Huh." Ichigo grunted. "Well, figure it out if you can. I need something to counteract the Puppy Eyes." He shuddered.

Haruhi sighed. "Nothing can counteract the puppy eyes."

"Seriously?"

"Even Kyoya-senpai is powerless against them."

Ichigo straightened up. "Whoa…"

When Tamaki rose above the back of the couch again, he was armed with the Puppy Eyes and they were directed at Ichigo. Behind him, the twins grinned evilly.

Ichigo yelped and nearly jumped out of his skin, fell off the couch. "Damnit! Don't do that!"

"Wan!" Tamaki woofed happily, inching closer.

Ichigo twitched rather spectacularly, scrambled to his feet and ran for his life. Rukia let out a relieved sigh. That was more like it.

"It's a sure sign that it's almost the end of the day," Hunny commented.

Rukia looked across the table at him. "What do you mean, Hunny-senpai?"

"Tama-chan and the twins start to get rowdy towards the end of the day, and it's usually over Haruhi-chan. It's kinda interesting that they decided to let Ichi-chan play too." Hunny never looked up from his drawing.

"Aa," Mori agreed.

"Don't call me that!" Ichigo snapped as he ran past, Tamaki bouncing along happily in his wake with the twins slinking behind in a most sinister manner.

Rukia narrowed her eyes, watched the Ouran idiots chase the orange haired idiot around the room. "Is this a strange form of acceptance?"

"Ah huh!" Hunny beamed.

"What the hell are you idiots doing? I'm tryin' to sleep back here!" Renji shouted. No one else reacted, which lead Rukia to believe that he hadn't opted to inhabit his gigai just yet (she couldn't see that side of the room from here).

"Whoa! That kid has some freaky eyes! Run Ichigo! Run for your life!"

"Shaddup!"

A/N: Ph33r teh puppy eyes!

Edit: Few small edits. EDIT!