Disclaimer: theworldsgreatest01 does not own and is not affiliated with Shogakukan's merchandise, nor does theworldsgreatest01 lay claim to any of Rumiko Takahashi's masterpieces.

Author's Note: Enjoy this ramshackle installment, it isn't very well put together, but still, it is a chapter advancing the story.

Chapter Ten: Lilies and Farewells

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Something inside me flourished, and I owe that to Sayuri's frequent watering of my soul to bring forth the flowering of emotion, its petals brushing against the sides of my heart. I've never felt this way before for anyone and the feeling is so…strange and new to me. All my life until now, never have I been so drawn to a woman as Sayuri draws me to her. For the time being, I have forgotten completely about our journey and I find myself only thinking of today, what Sayuri and I will do together, her smile and the way she fluidly navigates through the village and the warmth of it all, the familiarity, her eyes and her captivating voice.

This is what normality is like, stability, a normal life. Sayuri glanced at me, catching me surrounded by thoughts. "What are you thinking about Kohaku-san?"

As much as I wanted to tell her; I wanted to tell her everything, every doubt, every thought, I didn't want to spoil the moment with a harsh reminder of reality. My reality. "Nothing. I was merely…I-I don't know. Forgive me. What were you saying?"

Her smile was like a beacon of light, drawing me out from the darkness of that reality and bringing me back to the present, the now where I wished to waste the days away while I observed her cooking for me, the nervousness in her movements adding character to the mechanics of it all, the first meal that she decided to make just for me under the bashful pretext of allowing me to try her food just to offer her feedback, as she put it. But we both knew the real reason and our blushes were almost the same in color and I didn't really know what to say while I watched.

We both sat on the floor of the hut, alone. My parents, Inuyasha and Kagome were all preparing for our departure-something I didn't want to think about until it was time. Chichi-ue pulled me aside earlier this morning while everyone was gorging themselves on the free breakfast and informed me of everything that was to take place. We entered the room provided for the men and he carefully pulled the shouji shut behind us and the snap that resounded in my ears only startled me, what with my uneasiness with the sudden private talk Chichi-ue requested of me. Whatever it was I knew I wouldn't like it.

"Kohaku, you knew when we entered this village that we were only passing through. And I hope you haven't forgotten that these past days we've recuperated here. I know you've developed relationships…and I am glad that you have," he placed a hand on my shoulder and applied a pressure that I suppose was meant to comfort me, "but you must remember that your life at this moment, isn't perfect. And there is no room for thoughts of settling somewhere as of yet."

A sigh escaped me without me being able to stop it and I averted my eyes to the floor so that Chichi-ue wouldn't see the disappointment in my eyes. It was important that I was strong on this journey, this is one of the many things asked of me by Haha-ue and Chichi-ue. I cant afford to show it, that I haven't been thinking about the journey at all, that Maburoshi had completely slipped my mind and the fate of I, Imoutou-chan and the rest of this world was the farthest from a mind that had become filled with Sayuri.

"I understand. Chichi-ue," I said, forcing the words from my mouth.

I knew already that he detected the sadness in my voice, he's known it since birth after all, no matter how its changed in pitch, he still knows it as good as Haha-ue. There was no way that I could manage to hide it from him, as much as I tried.

"I know it isn't fair to you at the moment, but you must realize that you are a man, not a child any longer. You must prioritize, and take responsibility for what you must. I was in your position as well-"

"But at least you got to travel with the woman you loved, you got to see her everyday, S-Sayuri, I c-can't…" I said. That was what bothered me in a way, that he tried to dismiss my feelings by relating to them, thus making them insignificant because he experienced them as well. And that would make it all the more simpler for me to do what he wanted me to do but it wasn't the same. He was granted a blessing while I get nothing.

Chichi-ue regarded me with a raised brow at my outburst, a look of surprise. Then I saw his brow furrowing and I knew he was trying to think of what to say next, regaining his bearings. "Perhaps I did have it better than you…but you must remember that life is not fair Kohaku, it was not fair for us, and I have never guaranteed you that it would be fair to you. Your fate has a different path in store for you, and you were born into duty, and you must be dedicated to it. When temptation comes you have to resist it. There is no escaping who you are and what is expected of you. True bravery is in the sacrifice of your own happiness for the sake of others. You cannot turn your back on fate. As a man, and as an important figure in this battle, you must learn to be stronger than others, it is your curse and your gift."

I stayed staring at the rotted floorboards while he stepped away from me and placed his hand upon the shouji. "We're leaving today to continue on our journey, and that is the end of it. I suggest you either sever your ties or make them stronger to withstand the wait."

With that said, I heard the sliding and the closing of the shouji and I was left in that room, my fists clenched and my eyes closed. As I sit in front of her now, straining to give the semblance of a smile while she tells me of each step in the cooking process, I can just think of how I hadn't anticipated this, well, I anticipated it, but I didn't know how hard it would be. No one knows anything about something until they experience it. I knew that I would have to sacrifice, and when Haha-ue had told me of this, I thought that I would have the strength to do it because it was expected of me, but then I hadn't known what I would have to sacrifice and how difficult it would be…my happiness, it seemed so easy then at the thought of it, now I find it like a dagger through my heart. To watch her laughing to herself and feel her hand in mine while she pulls me along to some interesting thing in the street and then to think that by the end of the day it'll all be in the past…

I have no idea how far I planned for this to go, or what we were doing, I have no clue at all. If-If I wanted her to be my woman, well, I don't know, maybe? The thought has crossed my mind, but I don't know, I-I just know that I don't want this feeling to go away. Why would anyone want to exchange happiness for sadness?

Sayuri leaned over and with her hand wafted the scent of the broth up to her nose. "It smells alright. See for yourself," she smiled, looking up at me.

I leaned forward as she had done and inhaled deep. The mixture of the herbs and spices and the natural, crisp smell of the fish stewing in the depths of the pot flooded my senses and drowned out my sorrows, it was like taking a smell of tranquility, the smell of lunch cooked by a woman in the middle of a cool day inside of a warm home, stability, stability, stability….

Then I felt the familiar touch of the softness of her lips against mine. It was only for a second, and when I opened my eyes in surprise she was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. The steam of the food wasn't the cause of my blushing at all, I didn't think she would initiate kissing me, not so soon. I hadn't thought that she was that comfortable with me yet, after all, its only been two days at the least, and I was the one who had kissed her first and I was also the one who had been initiating all the other times where I had taken her lips with mine.

"I'm sorry…I just-its," she kept her eyes averted to the stew gurgling between us, "I just felt that, well-"

I could have taken this time to lean over and kiss her back to ease her worrying, I could have, I should have, but I'm too much of a coward. I mean, it is a little too forward of me to do so, maybe she would have accepted it and reciprocated, well, of course she would have, we've done it so many times before, but it was different, she was…unsettled. As was I, and-and I only wanted to know what it was that was bothering her so much. It would have been smart to think it had been that she showed affection in a brusque way, not suited for women to behave in these days, well, respectable women anyway, but I didn't care, I don't care Sayuri, you must see that nothing matters when I'm with you.

A spell of quiet settled after it appeared that she had given up, and it was broken by her mumbled words, "I just know that you-you're leaving soon…and I, its that I've never felt so happy, with a-another man, be-before."

I had to gather up all the courage resting within me after hearing such a confession, and I did so, maneuvering around the pot separating us and coming to her side. She looked expectantly at me and I felt like a fool that I still had no words prepared to reply to such a declaration. Silence passed again and I met her gaze, those eyes like the bottom of a calm spring.

"Sayuri-san, well, I've-I've never felt the way I do now for any other woman either," I then turned my body toward her, "the comfort I feel with you is startling to me, but in a good way, sometimes I've thought it strange that in so little time I've fallen for you so soon. I don't know how, but it has, you've made me feel as if, I can live a life where I have no worries, no responsibilities. And yet…"

I felt all the anger and resentment toward my fate rising up and a frown etched itself into my face for causing this innocent woman such pain. If I had never forced myself into her life, and her heart, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe it is my own fault. Thoughts of asking her to wait for me were suddenly deemed selfish and cowardly. I had a destiny ahead of myself, I could die tomorrow and what would I leave behind? A woman's hope broken apart while she waits until old age for a man that has been dead for years already. Perhaps this was the test Buddha had placed before me today, my happiness for the sake of the world, or was it, to sacrifice my stability, knowing on my journey I had someone to return to, in order for Sayuri-chan to leave a fulfilling life, not waiting everyday in worry? Martyrdom is the greatest attribute. I am cursed with this life, this burden. Not only would it be selfish for me to bring that burden upon an unsuspecting girl in a village that has always lived a slow, casual life, but it would also be contemptible. What must be done, must be done. Until Maburoshi is taken care of, I alone must bear this fate, and it is only right that I not affect anyone else with it.

"You shouldn't wait for me…" I murmured.

My eyes were shut for fear of seeing the anguish in hers, an anguish I have caused. She said nothing, and for a moment I thought my words were so quiet that she hadn't heard me. "You should forget about me Sayuri-san."

The sound of a sniffle permeated my senses, then the knocking around of her stirring the stew and its contents shuffling about. My whole body felt cold at her short reply.

"I understand."

I was frozen to that spot, what would be the proper form of action? To just leave? Leave her alone after breaking her heart in two with my contemptible hands? Filthy hands stained with the blood of demons and-

Her lips again, pressing against mine, and this time I longed for a warmth, searched for it with my tongue, I didn't care about any shyness, any bashfulness left me, I felt like a child looking, looking, trying to find it so desperately and begging for it, and her lips parted and that warmth traveled through my body and made me shudder from the rush of it all, the moisture of her tongue blending with mine, and my face heated, my whole form, warm all over with my blush, with hers. Then I felt her start to shudder as well, and I thought it to be the same as the sensations I felt just a moment ago, but then I heard what I recognized to be sobbing, and when I opened my eyes I saw hers were closed with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You did the right thing, Kohaku. It would have been worse if you had led her on. Your father and I are proud of you."

I watched Haha-ue where she sat as she wrapped Hiraikotsu with diligent care. The afternoon sun crept in through the water-damaged wooden walls of the hut and the only makeshift window in the room.

My heart weighed heavy on me with guilt. I didn't deserve any praise. "You shouldn't be. I did lead her on."

I had wheedled my way into her life and caused her to experience all these feelings for me and suddenly I was telling her to forget everything, forget feelings that I had draw out in her, I had done it, and I was the one to blame for her pain for forcing my way into her life knowing the responsibilities I had and sacrificing her own feelings for my own enjoyment.

Haha-ue looked up at me with a saddened look. "Kohaku, its not your fault. You just got caught in the moment, its natural, you were just drawn to her, together. Its good that you had that experience."

She stood up and began to say something when the shouji slid open.

"Hey, anybody seen Shippou?" Imoutou-chan asked, peeking her head in. When I turned to look at her, I was taken aback for a second by how different she appeared to be, there was a refreshing vibrancy in her voice, a distinguishing pink dancing upon her cheeks and a brightness in her eyes. What's going on with her..?

She entered the room and went to the corner to pick up the bow and arrows that Kagome had left there. "No, I think he went around with Kirara to pick up some supplies, food and such, for the trip." Haha-ue replied, standing up and hoisting Hiraikotsu up with her.

Imoutou-chan walked over to me and gave me a playful shove. "What's eatin' you? You look like someone tore up your sutras."

With that said she giggled like a small girl and I looked over to Haha-ue, I mean, she had to have noticed this odd behavior. She must've agreed because she rose her eyebrows as well. It was strange, not to mention confusing. I've known Imoutou-chan all my life and never has she behaved this way before. So giddy and upbeat.

"And you? You seem happy," Haha-ue smiled.

Imoutou-chan stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, saying the words, "I am," as she exhaled. She then proceeded to slide the shouji open and take leave, humming a little as she went.

"Well, she doesn't seem the least bit torn up about leaving this village and going to fight numerous demons day in and day out…like her father, Inuyasha was exactly the same way once we were ready to leave a village, always so eager for the fight ahead," Haha-ue went on as we exited the room on Imoutou-chan's light trail left behind. All I could think of was that I knew she wasn't behaving that way just because we were leaving the village, it was something else. She's been relieved about taking off from previous villages before but she's never been this joyful about it to hum. Imoutou-chan? Humming? It doesn't add up. She's usually snapping at everyone to hurry up so we can leave, but never giggling and skipping along. Only a couple of days have gone by that I haven't been in her company, and I really haven't been minding our separation, I've been so focused on Sayuri-chan since the whole lake incident and its been refreshing, after our whole awkward situation with the whole thing we had, the strains in our bond, well, after having it reasserted we've been fine together so why am I even worrying about it? Well, well, she's still my Imoutou-chan, that's right. So I should be concerned about any sudden change of attitude within her. Right.

"I'll be right back," I briefly told Haha-ue before I sped out the front door to pursue Imoutou-chan.

She was walking along aimlessly among the villagers, not noticing their stares at all as she passed by hut after hut with the women giving her frightened looks and the men regarding her with a certain distaste. Normally she would be barking about insults to protect herself from feeling awful about it, but she just strolled about, head to the sky.

"Hey, you," she said when I managed to catch up to her side.

"Hi…uh, I-"

"Heard about the little Sayuri thing you got goin' on, that's tough. But you did put yourself in it anyway, like you always do," she said, interrupting my senseless babble.

"Is that the staple of our group now?" I sighed.

"Your dumb romantic life? I guess so."

Romantic life? "I don't have any-any romantic life! Sayuri-chan, I mean, Sayuri-san is only my friend, we're friends, only friends, nothing more," I sputtered. It wasn't as if we were in a relationship or anything, it isn't, its not, we haven't even established that yet, and I doubt we will, and aside from all this I was also dumbfounded that Imoutou-chan was so nonchalant about discussing this considering her usual strange behavior, this is even stranger.

She gave me a rolling of her eyes. "Yeah, everyone that's friends with each other buys expensive kimonos for each other and escorts them to festivals and gives them flowers."

We stopped in front of a small, fenced in farm next to a hut where chickens pecked at small pebbles and gravel on the ground. Imoutou-chan reached in her haori and pulled out a loaf of bread. I stared into the eyes of those animals and I almost wished I was as carefree as them, just spending every day waiting for food and nothing else.

"I wish we didn't have to leave here, then it would be so much easier."

"Yeah, that's why we have to leave, because life isn't fuckin easy like you want it to be. We're born not knowin shit, we grow up tryin to learn it, but still, all the way on till our death we don't know crap," she broke off a piece from the loaf and clenched it in her fist, "Only when we're right on our deathbed do we finally realize everything we didn't before, but until then we walk around like idiots. Sometimes learning something, sometimes not. So its always hard.

"So if you hadn't come in that little filly's life, shit still woulda got hard for her anyway, because everyone's lives are hard for everybody, that's just how it is. If you didn't break her heart, some other jerk would've." The crumbs fell from her hand like snow and showered over the ground on the other side of the fence. The chickens rushed over, falling over each other in an anxious heap, a tumultuous avalanche of feathers and claws, beaks banging against the small, insignificant crumbs.

"When did you get to be so wise?" I asked, a smile managing to breaking out on my face.

She scoffed and carelessly threw the whole loaf to the horde, walking away. "When did you get to be such a wise-ass? Oh, wait, you always have been."

I folded my arms in mock defense. "I was only asking a serious question!"

Imoutou-chan paused and eyed me, her face portraying how she mulled over it all, her eyes bordered by those bangs that she hated.

"Let's just say I was enlightened. Kinda like Nirvana, young monk bouzou, something you'll never reach the way you're goin'. I should be your teacher."

Now I was even more curious, and for the first time in a while, Sayuri-chan was the farthest from my mind, if she was there at all.

"What kind of enlightenment?" I inquired, looking directly in her eyes. For a second she matched my gaze, but then the next her eyes shifted away. She'd never done that frequently before, if at all. The earliest she had done this was when we were children, it was her way of showing guilt that she had done something that would make Inuyasha or Kagome upset, back when she cared whether they scolded her or not. What was she hiding…?

"Hey! You two knuckleheads! Its time to get the hell outta this one horse town!"

Inuyasha walked over to us and ended the interrogation, his thumb pointing behind him. "Let's go, everything's all packed."

Imoutou-chan sniffed defiantly in response. "I go when I wanna go, nobody's gonna rush me."

"Like hell you will, come on and lets get on with it!" Inuyasha shouted brusquely back while Imoutou-chan stood her ground, it was like two stones colliding together, ending back where they started. He glared at her one last time before giving up and making his way back to the hut where everyone probably was waiting for us, knowing that she was like a child in the end, only doing things not because she was told, but because she wanted to.

I looked around us before following along and finally took notice of the sun setting down upon the whole village. The sky dripped red and orange, it was fire in the air, in the clouds, warmth all around and it all hit my senses together, that after these last few days here, the bonds made and severed, the growth-we were leaving. I was leaving the first village I felt that I could build a home in, settle down, live in. Aside from the prejudiced occupants, it was an easy-going place, a vast change from demon territory and constant battling. After I realized this it all just played out like the story in a scroll, I went through the motions, met with the others. I spoke to my mother and father, quipped with Shippou about something I don't remember, scratched Kirara's neck as a thanks for carrying all the supplies. Inuyasha complained and Kagome shushed him respectively, he and Imoutou-chan bickered. It would only be us again.

"Thank you so much for allowing us to stay here," Kagome bowed to the old man standing at the entrance of the hut whose name I've already seemed to have forgotten.

"Forgive us for not being able to repay you properly," Chichi-ue supplied, walking towards them with the rings of his shakujo making that familiar melodious clanging noise that had always meant to me that we were on the move to some place.

The old man chuckled and waved a hand in response, "No, no, there's no need for all that, you all provided great company for us, we're glad to have been able to harbor such colorful people in our humble home, and such important people as well, out on such a brave journey, it will probably be the only interesting story this village will have to tell for the rest of our days, so please, allow me to thank you. And allow us to wish you good luck on your quest."

"We don't need luck, but thanks a lot for the free food old geezer," Inuyasha curtly replied, walking ahead of us all to the exit of the village.

Kirara followed in suit behind him and after a few more gracious words we were making our way out of the place and the hut and old man were shrinking in my vision. I just kept looking back, while everyone had already moved on I still felt there was no closure, we were leaving already? So soon? And just then I remembered I hadn't even said goodbye to-

Sayuri-chan. She came running to me out of my peripheral vision, her expression wrought with desperation and I could do nothing but stop in my tracks as she rushed to me, running and out of breath, her hair bouncing freely behind her and settling when I found her in front of me with her hands clenched at her chest as if she were holding something precious in her grasp, keeping it close to her heart. I couldn't speak, what could I say? There was nothing, no words I could think of to assuage the situation, so I just stared into her face and tried to convey with my eyes how much I wanted to stay…but I couldn't. And that she had to realize as well, I am who I am, this is my fate.

"Kohaku-kun…" she murmured, and I watched her lips form the words and my gaze dashed to her eyes to catch the look in them while she said it, I listened harder than I had ever listened to anything ever before to remember the sound of it coming from her mouth. She stood on her toes and leaned forward to plant a small kiss upon my cheek and I closed my eyes. I wanted so much, so much to hold her, the first time I had ever felt so many emotions for someone, I wanted…

I took a step back, and with my eyes still closed, I took another and turned away from where I assumed she stood; in some alternate dimension devoid of light and only capable of engendering sound and smell, her eyes burning into my memory, the touch of her lips on my cheek, this is what I would remember as I opened my eyes and walked briskly to catch up to the others. I refused to let my last memory of her be of my walking away from her and allowing her to shrink into nothing in my vision like the old man and the hut, becoming smaller and smaller until she disappeared. I didn't look back.

Ahead of me I saw Imoutou-chan standing still and a man far off to the left of the exit of the village, I saw him wave to her and smile. I saw her look down, then seem to shake off whatever it was that bothered her and continue on to follow our parents, Kirara and Shippou, they were small figures in the distance from where I stood.

I recalled when Sayuri-chan kissed me, her hand slipping into the fold of my robes, and I reached my hand where hers had been to pull out a small piece of paper. Anxiety flooded inside my throat and I swallowed to bring it back down, I felt like the chickens who rushed to devour the meager crumbs Imoutou-chan had tossed to them. My hands quivered slightly while I carefully unfolded the note and revealed more and more the ink markings until I was able to read the kanji hurriedly scribbled onto the paper.

I'm waiting for you.

After reading it over five more times I folded it along the lines she had made the first time she had done it and slipped it back where she had put it in my robes. Looking up, I saw the sun beginning to hide behind the mountains and the figures of my parents and my friends growing smaller and smaller. I raced over to them and in a matter of a few moments they were all around me and we were all headed the same direction.

A/N: This chapter was a strange piece of work, Kohaku and Sayuri's relationship was initially slated to be broken off but in a flash of enlightenment they were kept together by means of a love note, which is fitting, some drama for the later events of this story and all that will entail which shall not be revealed until then. For now, Kikyou-chan and Kohaku-san's relationship is at a mutual understanding of the bond of two close friends who grew up together in almost the same family save for blood relations. Growing up is a hard, confusing, difficult thing, and theworldsgreatest01 sought to portray this in these two characters, to show how human their emotions are, as adolescents, to jump back and forth from feeling to feeling, and to show Kohaku's reluctance at living up to the responsibilities he has dropped upon him from the sky. Not every hero is a willing one, that is only how they are portrayed. Kikyou and Kohaku are a young man and woman on the verge, in a journey they barely are prepared for. The next chapter will throw them in the heat of that journey and change them in ways, allow them to see just what they are in and see some further development in their personalities. Also, please review. Thank you.