What Love Is

By Semerket

Chapter 17: Unfriendly Persuasion

Ivy drifted into her hideout like a ghost and tossed her car keys on the coffee table. Her legs moved with purpose, but her mind was replaying the evening in her head. Her subconscious mind had done a passable job of auto-piloting her home and shutting the door behind herself. She was only startled out of her reverie when an agitated green kitten rubbed against her legs anxiously. Even Sprout knew something was wrong. She absently scooped up the cat, cradling it to her body, she flopped down on the couch and proceeded to sulk.

Ivy was torn.

A part of her wanted to go on a killing spree to properly vent her rage on human society that would hopefully result in the death and destruction of the Joker, Batman, and Gotham City at large. The other part just wanted to curl up into a sniveling pathetic ball, eat several cartons of ice cream, and die. Ivy wasn't sure how long she sat on the couch holding the cat. She held onto him like he was her lifeline- her only living connection to the bouncy blond that had broken her heart, yet again. Ivy realized she must have nodded off at some point because it was no longer dark outside. Harley had gone off with that lunatic in the wee hours, so it was later in the morning. A young birch sapling outside told her it was sometime around seven.

Slipping back into the recesses of her mind, she was only interrupted from her depressing train of thought when Sprout launched himself out of her lap. Running halfway to the front door, he spun around and stared at Ivy expectantly.

Meow!

There was a hesitant wrapping on the front door. Could it be Harley? Ivy darted towards the door and yanked it open only to be greeted by… Pamela rolled her eyes in disgust.

"You."

"Ivy-"

"If you hadn't come here this never would have happened!"

Ivy slammed the door and stalked back into the living area to reaffix herself to the couch. Only Catwoman's arm kept it from shutting as she all but forced her way inside in a rather annoying fashion.

"I would have thought you'd had enough of my plants last night," Ivy said dangerously. Though the lack of energy behind the threat made Ivy come across as being tired.

"Look, I know you're upset." Selina was genuinely sympathetic. Reasoning with her would be easier without Batman looming over them.

"You know nothing!" Ivy hissed.

"I was pretty sure I'd come back to the Batmobile only to find that it had been swallowed up by plants in a fit of rage. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the great and powerful Poison Ivy had slunk back home with her tail between her legs."

Ivy didn't have the energy to argue. She was right. She had slunk back home like a wounded animal. Actually, that's exactly what she felt like at the moment. But speaking of the Batmobile… "How the hell did you get here? Don't tell me he's hanging out in my driveway again."

"He's with the police tracking Joker." She smiled slyly, "I may have borrowed a police motorcycle. They owed me for helping. That bike is as good as mine."

Ivy rolled her eyes at the thief's questionable logic. "So what do you want?" Her tone didn't have the same bite to it.

"The Joker has made his demands."

Ivy let out a howl of laughter. "Oh and what are they? Ooo let me guess: all restaurants should stay open for 24 hours and everyone in Gotham should fuck off and die?"

"Actually, he wants you, Ivy. You, Batman, 30.53 million dollars… And a box of purple cocktail umbrellas." Ivy looked at her sharply. "Don't ask. I don't get it either and I don't think I want too."

"Of course he wants the Rodent- everyone wants him." Ivy grumbled petulantly, sounding rather petty. "And I am very beautiful as you are well aware. But surely he knows that I'm rarely cooperative. I'm not 'hopping to it' because some damn clown demands it. I suppose he thought he'd use Harley as leverage over me. Well they can both go to hell for all I care."

"But Harley needs you."

"Obviously not. It's probably more apt to say that Batman or the police need me. That's why you're here isn't it? To convince me to help you do something or other? Well, why should I care?"

"Harley is in danger."

"You sure as hell weren't this concerned about her safety when you and the police strong-armed us into helping!"

"Joker has to be stopped! That doesn't mean I wanted her to run off with him!"

Ivy sneered, "And here I thought you were just auditioning to join the Batclan."

Selina clenched her fists as she found that accusation deeply offensive. "Did it ever occur to you that Harley might be pretending?"

"Hmm… Let me think for a moment…" Ivy appeared to be thoughtful. "No. It didn't."

"What if she is pretending? What if she needs-"

"What if she isn't?! What if this is exactly what she wants? She has an addiction. He is her mental illness! And I'm sick of combating it. IF being kicked around is what she wants then who am I to prevent nature from taking its course. Here I am letting my feelings get in the way of Nature's Law. I, of all people, should know better." She griped bitterly. If Harley had been taken forcibly then they wouldn't be having this conversation. But the sheer jubilation in the blond's voice as she bounded over to him gave Ivy pause…

"I don't think you really mean that."

"Don't I?"

"I never thought I would see you so…" Selina searched for the term, "So… Defeated."

"No one has defeated me." Ivy snapped indignantly.

"Ever heard of this thing called self-defeat? Of course, no one has defeated you. You never even gave anyone the opportunity because you defeated yourself and saved anyone else the trouble."

Pamela rolled her eyes. Who did Selina think she was playing? She was talking to Poison Ivy for Gaia's sake. Ivy manipulated others not the other way around. "If this is your pathetic attempt to coerce me into some form of action you will be sorely disappointed!"

"Who said anything about coercion? I'm just stating facts," Selina paced around the living room with her hands behind her back. "You're Poison Ivy. Can you imagine how disappointing it is for me come here and find you practically balled up on the couch sobbing into your cat's shoulder?"

She pouted, "What I do in my home is none of your business." Ivy grimaced. She sounded pathetic even to herself.

Selina let out a loud bark of laughter, "Oh wow is that your comeback, Pammy?"

She loathedthat nickname and Selina knew it. Ivy said in a low and angry voice, "I'm not interested in playing your games, Selina. What is it that you want from me?"

Selina stopped pacing and turned to face Ivy. Gone was her glib demeanor and in its place was determination. She quickly crossed the span of the living room to stand right in front of Ivy, she got up in her face and stared her in the eye. Her tone was like ice, "Games? I never came here to play games with you, Ivy. Joker has an explosive that can take out half the city. You are one of his demands. And I'm here to make sure he gets it."

Now it was Pamela's turn to laugh. "So you go from worrying about Harley's safety to wanting to save all of Gotham. What's the matter Catwoman? Are you afraid you won't have anyone left to steal from?"

Her voice was laced with exasperation, "What about your deal with Gordon?"

Ivy shrugged noncommittally, "If Joker blows all of you up then I won't have to worry about a deal anymore, will I? Either way I get a pass, Sweetheart."

Was Selina interpreting Ivy's response to the situation all wrong? Had the affront of Harley's departure sent Ivy reeling from love to hate all within the span of several hours? She realized that Ivy probably had a whole host of mood disorders, but that seemed unlikely even for someone as imbalanced as her. Realizing that she was fighting a losing battle, Selina took a step back and studied her quietly for a few seconds. When she finally spoke she was genuinely confounded.

"What the hell happened to you?" Ivy crossed her arms and refused to look at Selina. "I had hoped that not letting the Joker win would have been more than enough to motivate you to come with me."

Ivy smiled glumly, "Apparently you were wrong." She motioned to the door flippantly and said, "Now that you have exhausted all of your options, feel free to leave."

Catwoman sighed. "Actually there is one more option, Pamela. I was hoping it wouldn't come down to this."

"Oh?"

Selina reeled back and socked Ivy in the face.

"You… You… Dare?!" Ivy was completely dumbstruck as she felt her nose to see if it was bleeding. She hadn't seen that one coming, though in hindsight she realized she probably should have. That was certainly enough to motivate her out of her seat as she snarled and lunged at the woman in outrage.

Selina nimbly evaded her sloppy attempts at physical violence as the green woman swung at her in a blind rage. After a few more moments of Selina's taunting, Ivy seemed to come to her senses and her hand-to-hand attacks improved somewhat, becoming more precise with Catwoman barley being able to block a few. The leather clad woman somersaulted off of a wall to end up behind a startled Ivy, which she followed up with a roundhouse kick that the redhead was barely able to block.

"It really pains me to say this, especially considering how enormous your ego already is, but I have to admit that you are easily one of the most powerful rogues ever."

Ivy laughed triumphantly as she struck Selina solidly with one of her vines, sending the woman flying across the room. She may have despised Selina in that moment, but the narcissist within couldn't help but beam at the description of her own epicness. "Tell me something I don't know."

"The most powerful rogue in Gotham and yet you're a chronic loser!"

"I'm not losing now, am I?" Ivy sneered as she stood over the thief. Selina picked herself up off the floor slowly and dusted herself off. Her breathing was labored as she had clearly had the wind knocked out of her.

"Think about it, Pam. Batman and other heroes manage to beat you most of the time and then you end up right back in Arkham."

Using her enhanced strength, Ivy backhanded Selina, sending the woman reeling back until she bumped up against the wall. Ivy let out an amused bark as she stalked closer to her. She grabbed a stunned Selina by the throat and held her against the wall as she gloated, "Oh, do tell me more, Catwoman. Why am I a chronic loser?"

Selina smiled despite the trickle of blood from her lip. "It isn't because they're more powerful than you and it isn't even because they're smarter."

Ivy arched an eyebrow expectantly.

"It's because you're vain." Before she could even blink. Selina head butted her viciously and shoved her backwards easily. Selina launched a pair of bolas at the green woman's legs, tangling themselves around her, she toppled over awkwardly. "Pride comes before a fall, as they always say," The brunette smiled chummily. Ivy realized that Selina had been feigning her injuries as she no longer moved in a labored fashion. "That same vanity is the reason you're refusing to help Harley!"

"Well played." Ivy, embarrassed, quietly unraveled the bolas and picked herself up from the floor. She said calmly. "Now get the fuck out of my house."

Selina eyed her carefully. One wrong move and she could blow this entire opportunity to get Ivy out of the door. "Ya know what I think?"

"I'm sure you're going to tell me," Ivy snapped.

"I don't think you're really capable of love, Pamela." An amused snort came from Ivy's direction. "You claim to care about her, yet you are remarkably unmotivated when she needs you the most. I think your whole relationship was just an ownership thing. She was just a prized possession to you, a toy. A toy that has gone back to its previous owner- the Joker."

Ivy exploded at the insinuation, "Of course I care! I care about her more than anyone else has ever cared about her! And you have a lot of nerve saying that to me you fair-weather bitch. Where the hell were you when Harley was hurt? When she needed comforting? I've always been there for her, but there comes a point when even I have to acknowledge that if she wants to do something then she's going to do it no matter how bone-headed it is. Look at all the times she left me for Joker! Her track record doesn't really suggest that she wants to be rescued."

"Yes, but this is the first time since you've officially become involved that she's left you. Am I right?" Selina was met with stony silence. "And she wasn't exactly clamoring to get back to him. And that's saying quite a bit for Harley. Because we both remember just how much she'd prattle on about 'Puddin' when we were a team." Selina's tone became softer and more sympathetic, "Ivy, you've always been someone that has to constantly be in control and in this situation you've lost that- Batman's involved, the police are involved, hell, I'm involved, and Joker has whisked Harley away to some location with an explosive. I think you're terrified, Ivy. It's much easier for you to convince yourself that you're angry with her, that your relationship is over. It'll make it easier when Joker finally murders her."

Ivy turned away and quickly swiped her eyes so that the thief wouldn't see the tears. The brunette could tell by her posture and breathing that she was trying not to cry. "Nothing…" Her voice was hoarse, "Nothing could ever make that easy."

Selina was in awe. Tonight she had conversed with Angry Ivy, Apathetic Ivy, Stubborn Ivy, Vain Ivy, Depressed Ivy and now she was seeing Concerned Ivy. Her psychiatrists must've had a field day with her, the brunette mused. However, the opportunity that was being presented by the sudden reappearance of the green woman's humanity would not be wasted.

"She didn't think the explosives would be at the docks."

She sniffed. "So?"

"She implied that following the Joker would lead us to the location of those explosives…"

Ivy thought back to her conversation with the Rodent. He had mentioned a tracking device. "But…" Ivy was about to say something, but stopped herself. No, it was too much to hope for. It was too much to think that this was all some clever ruse or Harley's definition of being 'undercover'. No, she couldn't let herself believe it only to be let down again. She couldn't take another betrayal. It hurt too much.

Could Selina be telling the truth? Or was she just lying to get Ivy to do what she wanted? Ivy thought back, Harley had seemed nervous, but given the circumstances her behavior was not unreasonable. Harley thanked her for being a friend almost as though she was trying to say goodbye. Had Harley planned to go off with that maniac all along? Could she have been pretending? Or did she just know that she would be unable to resist him? Pamela was uncertain. She sat up a little straighter and her eyes became moist as she felt a tendril of hope take root in her heart.

"You aren't going to stop nagging me are you?"

Selina felt her hopes skyrocket at the lightness in Ivy's tone. "Nope!" And she realized she'd have a hell of a time forcing the hybrid.

Ivy sounded thoroughly put out, "Oh alright. I'll go save Harley from the terrible decisions that she makes. Yet again." Ivy turned and headed up the stairs.

"Wait! Where you going?"

Ivy paused to explain, "Harley forgot her coat."

Selina blinked. "So?"

The green woman shrugged, and staring at Selina as though everything should be perfectly obvious, she managed to make the burglar feel like an idiot for deigning to ask such a stupid question. "Harley catches cold very easily." And with that she disappeared at the top of the stairs and a few moments later she came back down with coat in hand. It was times like this when Selina remembered that it was these little things that separated her from the loonies that they put in Arkham.

"We should take my car." Ivy's suggestion was more of a command.

[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]

Harley had humored the Joker all the way back to his current hideout, remembering to laugh at his stupid jokes at the appropriate times and to tell him how brilliant he was. She did her best to surreptitiously take stock of the vast warehouse that was home to his current operations. Fortunately for her, Joker was spending most of his time on the phone with police negotiators. She was never entirely present though, in the back of her mind her thoughts swirled around Ivy. As soon as she found out where the bomb and the hostages were she could have B-Man come in and save the day. Then she could apologize to Ivy because she knew she was upset right now. She just hoped they could still work things out when this was over, assuming they didn't all go kablooie, of course. She also hoped that Batman would still be able to track them since she had dumped the police wire; if Joker discovered it then it would have significantly reduced her life expectancy.

[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]

Ivy grumbled to her passenger as they sped down the interstate towards the warehouse district, "Hitting me was unnecessary, Selina. I am very beautiful as you're well aware."

Catwoman rolled her eyes. Ivy had bitched about her face for almost the entire ride across town. It was 'I'm so beautiful' interspersed with 'I wonder if Harley wants macaroni and cheese.' After what felt like an eternity, they finally arrived at the outskirts of the warehouse district. Parking the car a ways from the police barricade, Ivy allowed Selina to lead her over to Batman.

"About time you showed up." Batman almost sounded as though he were complaining, like a supervisor whose secretary had just disappointed him with her tardiness.

Ivy felt her blood pressure rise at his tone. Selina managed to cut in before the green woman could get fired up, "What's the situation?"

"He's threatening hostages now."

The evil clown's jovial voice could be heard over a loudspeaker, "Hello coppers!" The Joker cackled gleefully, "I hope you don't plan on doing something silly because if you do then I'll have Harley execute these little angels! You don't want that do you?"

Ivy snorted, "As if Harley would ever do such a thing."

"The day is young." Batman grumbled.

"You may not think much of us, but even we have standards."

"Of course you do." Batman's serious tone could almost be interpreted as snide.

Ivy crossed her arms and glared at both of them, "So what exactly am I supposed to do? I'm sure you didn't send your pet to fetch me so that I could play hostage negotiator… "

Batman turned to look at her, "Joker has all the entrances and exits secured- even the ones from the sewer system and the roof. We need your help getting in."

"You mean you want me to create an entrance for you?"

"As quickly as possible."

Ivy smirked, "I think that can be arranged."

[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]

Harley's eyes bulged as she listened to Mistah J ranting on the other end of the phone. "Uh oh. I just caught one of Gordon's SWAT team snooping about." Joker cackled maniacally before speaking in a more sinister tone, "You know what that means for the hostages, Harley!"

Harley worried her bottom lip as she spoke into the cell phone. "But they're a buncha a kids Puddin'. Who cares?"

"I know Harley! Who indeed? So that means you shouldn't have any problem doing it, isn't that right?" His statement was met with silence. "I mean I wouldn't want to think that you weren't happy to be back with me." There was an obvious threat in his voice.

Harley muttered quietly, "I'll take care of it, Mistah J."

"Of course you will!"

They were just kids. They weren't even like Ivy's CEO's that waged war on the natural world. They were just a bunch of kids. They had been on their way home from school. Harley Quinn was a lot of things: a thief, an anarchist, a failed psychiatrist, a flake, an airhead, a terrorist, and when necessary- even a killer. But she didn't do anything that involved children or animals. No, this is where she drew the line. And it wasn't one of those fine ambiguous lines that could become muddied; it was as thick and impenetrable as Ivy's self-esteem.

"Hiya, kids. My name is Harley."

"Miss Harley?" A little girl with blue coveralls and brown hair asked hesitantly. "Can we go home now? I wanna go home now." Her big brown eyes welled up with tears. She was one of the smallest ones- Harley's guess was kindergarten.

"Sweetie. I want you all to go home too, but if you want to go home ya gotta do what I ask, okay?"

Their little sullen faces nodded. "Okay, so first I need ya all ta move to the back of the room and sit close to each other. Okay, now I need ya all ta face the wall and shut ya eyes."

"Good. Now no matter what you hear you just keep your little eyes closed okay?"

They nodded and closed their eyes.

Feeling a little better about what she was going to do, Harley pulled out her pistol. "Damn Quinn," One of Joker's henchmen chuckled. "You're a cold bitch."

"Yea." She smiled sweetly. He laughed harder and she laughed louder too. Then she aimed the pistol.

POP.

POP.

POP.