A/n none of my stories are designed to upset. This is a strong T bordering on M but please skip if upset as it mentions what happened to Gerry as a little boy.

Confessions

The rise from the pub to Sandra's house had been in near silence. He knew she meant well and she was right. He was a grown man he should be able to face his fears head on and deal with them. Now as he sat on her sofa with a mug of tea in his hand he didn't know if he could.

"Gerry."

"I left the car at work."

"Good! The amount of alcohol you had. It's better off in the police car park rather than the pub."

He nodded. He knew his car was safe. He knew he was buying time.

"Ow am I going to get home?"

"Taxi. Or you can kip in my spare room. I'll take you home in the morning. So? You need to get something off your chest?" He nodded.

"Like I said back in the pub I was only a kid. I was a week off my tenth birthday. Obsessed with playing in the woods. Loved playing Cowboys and Indians. Watched the High Chaparral every Saturday on the telly." He smiled at the memory. "Innocent little lad. Like Gerry junior." Sandra smiled.

"I should hope so. I know I was, at that age."

"When you were ten I was already a copper."

"There's twelve years between us. Stop changing the subject." She smiled. Gerry ran his hand over his face, the memory of almost fifty years earlier hitting him hard. He nodded as Sandra took his hand. "Gerry?"

"I was out playing with me mates. Only Lee had to go back, his gran was coming or something. I can't really remember. Anyway I got separated from the other boys."

Sandra felt her heart break slightly. Gerry stared at the mug in his hand. She'd heard countless stories like this before. She'd never wanted to think too closely about them and she'd never associate them with her friend,

"Gerry."

"I was just a kid. Scrawny one at that." He shook his head. Sandra felt her eyes fill with tears. "He knew I was on me own. That the other lads had gone and I was on me own. Couldn't fight him off. Bloody tried though. I promise you that."

She squeezed his hand, tears now running down her cheek unchecked. Gerry sighed. "He was an adult. I was a kid. Didn't have a chance really. Anyway I just sat there afterwards, got my senses together and ran home."

"You told?"

"My dad. Up until then I adored my dad." Sandra nodded. "He looked at me for a moment. Just looked then burst out laughing. Said I ad a fanciful imagination." He closed his eyes. "Walloped me for lying and said I'd better not repeat it."

"Oh Gerry."

"So I didn't. Never went back to the woods, never watched the High Chaparral again. Never told a soul."

"Not any of your exes?"

"No." He shook his head. "In nearly fifty years you are the only one I've told. God, Sandra. You believe me?"

"Of course I do." She sniffed. Gerry smiled sadly. She watched him nod.

"Monster killed himself three months later. I saw it on the news. Did some digging to check when I became a copper. Apparently two other families had believed their boys. Police had him on bail when he topped himself. In the woods." Gerry wiped his eyes. Sandra took the mug from his hands.

"You were only a kid. None of this. None of this is anything to do with you. Don't do this. Don't let him win." Gerry looked at her as she stood.

"Could murder a cuppa."

"Me too." She walked away before stopping. Her heart broke for the little boy Gerry had been. Suddenly it all made sense, the womanising, gambling, estrangement from his birth family and the way he was so overprotective of his girls and the team. She turned back, approaching him she rested a hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok." She sniffed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in her blouse she held him as he cried, trying not to let her own tears fall. "Stay tonight." She felt him nod against her abdomen as she hugged him tightly.

Xxxxxxx

A/n

One more chapter to go. Sorry if this offended anyone. Please review