Fear itself

Gerry walked into the kitchen, fastening his shirt buttons as he did. Sandra had already showered and dressed while he had been in bed. She had to admit her friend had a slightly less haunted look than he had the night before.

"Have a cuppa and then I'll drive you to your place so you can change. We turn up to work together with you in yesterday's clothes and the rumour mill will be on overdrive. You know what Cara on the desk is like."

"Yeah." He smiled slightly. "Before you know it, alf the Nick will know we spent the night together." He sat at the kitchen table holding a mug of scalding hot tea.

"We did."

"Yeah. But not ow she'd say it."

"True. That's the second time we've spent the night under the same roof and you've not tried anything." Sandra watched him blush. "I'm losing my touch."

"Sandra."

"I'm joking. Drink your tea." She raised an eyebrow.

"Last night."

"Yeah?"

"At the pub. You said if I told why I was such a bleeding wus at the woods."

"You were not a wuss."

"That you'd tell me what your phobia is." He watched as the colour drained from her face. Suddenly he felt guilty. He could see whatever it was it was a big deal. She bit her lip for a moment. Gerry looked away, surprised when her hand touched his.

"A deal is a deal. This goes no further. Right." She held his gaze.

"Scouts honour."

"You weren't in the scouts."

"Cubs count?"

"Ok." Sandra took a deep breath. "It only started after my Dad died. Well, that's when I first remember it."

"Sandra, you don't have to do this." Gerry squeezed her hand. "Just because I spilled my guts to you doesn't mean you have to."

"No, it's ok."

"Really."

"I was fourteen and the one person I relied on was gone." Sandra stated at the desk. "Dead. It was then that it started. I vowed I would never ever rely on anyone again. No one would get close."

"Love. That's your fear? Your biggest phobia?" Gerry watched, suddenly realising that the fear was genuine. Things started making sense, she'd never had kids, never wanted to get close to anyone. As far as he knew there'd never been a serious relationship in her adult life.

"No." Sandra closed her eyes. "It's stupid. I told you."

"Not anymore stupid than mine." He held her hand, rubbing circles on her palms. Sandra swallowed hard.

"My phobia is being left, abandoned. People seeing me for the spoiled, self opinionated, spiteful bitch I am and running as fast as they can in the opposite direction." The words fell out of her mouth in a jumble as Gerry touched her chin, tilting it to look at her.

"Phobias. Bloody horrible things. Seems our parents have a lot to answer for. I've seen the way your mum is with you." Gerry brushed a tear away from her cheek as she tried to avoid his gaze. "You are none of those things. You say bossy, bitchy or whatever. I say confident, determined and bloody amazing." He kissed her gently. Sandra pulled back, holding his gaze for a moment.

"Gerry."

"You said my father was wrong." Gerry watched as she nodded. "Well whoever it was that made you feel unworthy of being in loved and loved back was wrong." He watched as she blinked.

"Is that right?"

"Yes." Gerry stated firmly. "That's right."

"If you say so." Sandra sighed, clearly not believing him.

"If I can face my fears, tell you the worst thing I've ever ad to deal with then I reckon you can start letting the walls down a bit. Let people see the Sandra I see."

Sandra frowned. She had no idea what he was talking about. Gerry squeezed her hand once again.

"Cmon, drive me to mine. I'll get changed and buy you a proper breakfast." Gerry got to his feet. "Cmon, at this rate Jack and Brian will be sending out a search party."

Sandra smiled before getting to her feet and following him out of the room.

Xxxxxxxx

A/N that's all folks