Peeta not Katniss Chapter 4
A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't been writing this story, but I haven't forgotten it. I just had so many other plot bunnies running round my head and this just got pushed to the side. However this is a super long chapter so I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer - I do not own The Hunger Games and am not making money from this wonderful work by Suzanne Collins.
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Finnick and Gale walk with me down to the control room. Coin wanted me there for another meeting and I can't really say no, but that's all I'm going to say until a rescue mission is underway. I need Katniss to be okay. It was supposed to be her they saved. But instead they got me out. They got the wrong person and they all know it, but apparently I'm going to have to do for the moment. But I'm going to say 'no' to whatever Coin wants me to do. I'm going to do nothing until Katniss is safe with her family.
I follow Gale into the control room. I've become sort of close-ish to him, well; we are on more or less friendly terms. I've always respected him for being Katniss' friend, and for looking out for her family while she was in the arena, but he saved a large portion of District Twelve from annihilation. That gives him some power here in District Thirteen and he also wants a rescue mission to go ahead. We both have Katniss' safety as our top priority and nothing will stand in our way to get her back from the Capitol. So we have sort of put aside our... differences? Is that what it is called? It is such a weird way to say that we are both in love with the same girl, while having no idea who she loves. However we both just want her to be safe, and with her family. That is all that matters at the moment. Maybe some time in the future she'll let us both know where she stands, but first I want her to be able to hug her little sister and sleep peacefully in her own bed.
We stop in the doorway of the meeting room to see everyone watching a television screen at the far end of the room. It's the one that airs the Capitol broadcast nonstop. I glance at Finnick next to me and he shrugs his shoulders. I look back to see Caesar Flickerman's happy face fill the screen as he introduces the show. He then introduces his guest and my heart stops beating for a moment. Another face, one that haunts my dreams, fills the screen. His guest is Katniss.
I start walking forward slowly, walking through people to get closer to her face, her beautiful unblemished face. No signs of torture or any of the pain I thought there would be. She looks fine. Not just fine, she looks dazzlingly beautiful. Katniss is wearing a plain but elegant black dress with long black gloves and her hair tied up behind her head in a tight bun. A thin veil covers from the top of her head to just below her nose. It is as though she is dressed for a funeral. The fake engagement ring that I gave her at the end of the victory tour is glimmering from her left hand. I realize that I have pushed through the crowded room and am now standing right in front of the screen, but I don't care that I may be blocking some people's view. I just care that I can't reach through the television and touch her, let her know that I am coming to get her, tell her that I love her.
Caesar settles himself more comfortably in his chair across from Katniss and gives her a long look.
"So... Katniss... welcome back." Katniss forces a smile for the audience.
"It's nice to see you, Caesar." She replies, a smile plastered on her face.
"I confess I had my doubts with your... erm victory, but I believed that you had a pretty good chance. What with Peeta looking out for you and your child?" Caesar says. He then leans forward and places a comforting hand on Katniss' knee. "I heard about the problems with the baby. I'm sorry darling." Katniss' face falls and she looks down at her hands, turning the engagement ring round her finger slowly.
"No, the baby didn't make it out of the arena. So much went wrong that night." She says quietly as the audience gives out muffled sobs and makes other sad noises.
"I think it was clear to all of us what Peeta's plan was on that last night, to sacrifice himself for you."
Yep, that was the plan. But the plan fell apart once the wire snapped. Chaos erupted. That night was awful. I just wish I had listened to Katniss when she said we should separate from the others. We might not be in this mess if it weren't for me. She would be here. She would be safe. My stupid faith in the others lead us to this situation!
In the silence that follows I notice the lines that have formed between Katniss' eyebrows. Has she guessed, or been told, about the rebels using us as pawns in the games? It seems so hard to believe that the Capitol hasn't done anything to her. Even just for the berries incident, or breaking the force field. For right now that exceeds my wildest hopes.
"Why don't you tell us about that last night in the arena?" suggests Caesar. "Help us sort a few things out."
"That last night... to tell you about that last night you have to understand a few things.
I'm not much with words, that's more Peeta's specialty." She says it fondly and a slight smile brushes her face for a moment. "I'm much more blunt with words than him."
"That's what made you such a good team." Caesar says.
"We are still a team." She snaps at him, anger colouring her face. She brushes it off and continues. "The arena was sticky and unpleasant, and the jungle was suffocating. The arena was a giant clock ticking away until another hour of horror arrived. Sixteen people had already died; the last eight could be dead by morning. Save one. The victor. And my plan was for it to be Peeta, or me. I wanted it to be Peeta but he wouldn't let himself win." She smiles slightly at that and I can help but smile too.
I just wanted you to get out of there safely. I should be in the Capitol giving this speech not you. I pull the piece of rope out of my pocket and starts making knots while never taking my eyes off of her.
"The arena – it is like nothing you have ever experienced before. Knowing that you have ended someone's life. They had family and friends and you killed them. But in the arena you only get one wish. And it's very costly."
"It costs you life." Says Caesar.
"Oh, no. It costs more than your life. To kill innocent people? It costs everything you are." Katniss says.
"Everything you are." Repeats Caesar quietly.
A hush has fallen over the room, and I can feel it spreading across Panem. A nation leaning in towards its screens. Because no one has ever talked about what it's really like in the arena before.
"That night my wish was to keep myself, Peeta and our child alive. But even without the rebels, it felt wrong. Everything was too complicated. I should have insisted that Peeta and I left earlier like I wanted to, but... there really was no getting out if it at that point."
"You were too caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake." Caesar says.
"Too busy playing allies with the others. I never should have let them separate us!" Katniss burst out. "That's when I lost him!"
I look down at my hands. It was my idea to stay with the group. I can't believe I was so stupid. Every night I have gone over that moment in my head and every night I would do something different, and Katniss would end up being saved, or we would both have been picked up. But every morning I wake up and it's just me.
"When you went with Johanna Mason to take the wire down to the beach and Peeta stayed at the lightning tree," Caesar clarifies.
"They forced me to go with Johanna, I had no idea what we were doing. Then when it snapped everything went insane. Cannons started going off and all I could think was to get back to Peeta."
"Then you shot that arrow at the force field." Caesar urges her on. "What was running through your head at that point?"
How the hell is she going to be able to justify that? What will the Capitol do to her if it isn't convincing enough? Oh God, come one Katniss you can talk your way out of this. Please.
"I had no idea what would happen. Beetee was out cold and I just... I don't even know what I was thinking. I only remember bits and pieces." Katniss says shaking her head and frowning at her hands as if trying to recall the memories. "I remember thinking that it would probably make a lot of noise and light and that Peeta would see it and come back to the tree. But then when it happened everything went fuzzy. I could hear him calling out to me but I couldn't move. Then I blacked out."
"It looked very suspicious from where we were all standing Katniss. As if it was the rebel's plan all along." Caesar says. Katniss looks up at him and glares at him.
"Really? Do you think it was part of the plan for Johanna to nearly kill me? Or for me to be paralyzed by the electric shock? Or to trigger the bombing? Peeta could have died because of me! I just thought that it would make enough noise so that he would find me again!" She's yelling now. "I didn't know what I was doing! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!" Caesar places his hand on Katniss' knee to calm her and she takes several deep breaths.
"Okay Katniss, I believe you." He says.
"Okay." Katniss says, running a hand through her hair and slumping back in her chair. Caesar waits a moment for Katniss to calm down some more before he says "What about your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy?"
Katniss' face hardens. "I don't know what Haymitch knew."
"Could he have been part of the conspiracy?" asks Caesar.
"He never mentioned it and didn't seem interested." She responds.
Caesar presses on "What does your heart tell you?"
"That he lied to me and that he wasn't to be trusted." Katniss says.
He certainly did lie to her, to both of us. He was part of the rebels the whole time and didn't tell us a word.
Caesar pats Katniss' arm. "We can stop now if you want."
"Was there more to discuss." Katniss says dryly.
"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset.." begins Caesar.
"No, I'm not too upset to answer that." Katniss takes a deep breath and then looks straight into the camera. "I want everyone watching to know that I am not a symbol for the rebellion. I do not condone this war. If we don't stop fighting, right now, the human race will be completely wiped out by its own stupidity."
"I don't really... I'm not sure I'm following... Are you calling for a cease-fire?" Caesar asks.
"Yes, I'm calling for a cease-fire," Katniss snaps. "May I leave now? I'm still in mourning and I have lots of traditions of my district to uphold for their death."
"Yes of course. I'm very sorry for your loss," says Caesar. Katniss nods her head slightly in response. Caesar turns to the camera. "All right. I think that wraps it up. So back to our regularly scheduled programming." Music plays them out and Katniss looks up at the camera one last time before the image fades to black.
I can tell that everyone is waiting for some sort of reaction from me but I just keep staring at the screen, which is now filled with a woman talking about expected shortages in the Capitol. I couldn't care less about whether the Capitol has solar batteries or not, but I keep watching. She is obviously speaking on behalf of the Capitol with the cease-fire; Snow trying to calm down the Districts by getting the symbol of the rebellion to say that she doesn't want a war.
I can hear the accusations against Katniss building from behind me. I can't ignore their talking any longer so I decide to leave them to continue chatting about utter rubbish. I push through the crowd, making my way to the door. I spot Finnick and we share a look. They probably aren't going to let me leave right now, but I can't stand to be near them either. Finnick nods in understanding and follows me to the door. I quickly open the door and sprint out of the control room, down the corridor, with Finnick blocking the door for me.
I run until I can't breathe anymore. With painful gasps of air I open the nearest door and find myself in one of the small classrooms of the District Thirteen School. Thankfully the classroom is currently empty. With no idea how I got here I don't know my way back to my apartment, so I sit down in the far corner of the room. I pull my knees to my chest and take deep breaths. I pull out the rope from my pocket again and start tying knots. Katniss is alive. And a traitor. But at the moment I don't care. I only care that she is in fact breathing and unhurt. Now I just have to convince Coin to let me go and rescue her. That'll be fun...
A/N: loved it? hated it? give me a review and tell me what you want to see more of and I'll try my best. :)