~ Suit Yourself!~
A week later they left to explore some of the islands to visit several beaches and would return to Vougliameni for Archie and Marie's anniversary the following day. The couple would spend their second wedding night at an inn there while Rumple and Belle took the kids back to Athens with them. Since Alessandro and Sophia both had to work, Penelope and Kyria would travel with the Storybrooke residents.
"This looks like a good spot," Belle said as she spread the beach blankets out while Rumple, Archie and Bae set up their chairs and umbrellas. The Hoods picked a spot on one side of them, the Hatters the opposite side and the Nolans set up their chairs and blankets bedside Emma's group while the Scorpions picked a spot on the other side of the Hoods. Penelope and Maurice lounged in chairs beside them.
"Let's go make a sandcastle!" Kyria suggested to Gisella, Adriana, Ellie and Maggie.
"We can make a bigger one than the last one!" Gisella cried.
"Gracie, you want to make a fort?" Henry asked his sister.
"Sure. You guys wanna help out?" she asked the rest of the boys.
"Yeah, we can build a fort like the Alamo!" Jonny exclaimed.
"I wanna build a big castle where I'M queen," Ellie declared haughtily.
Maggie shook her head. "Then build it yourself! I wanna build a jail!"
"You stay right where we can see you!" Emma warned them.
"Okay Mom!" Henry called back.
"Papa, we're gonna ride some waves." Bae said to Rumple as he, Bobby and Ewan walked past them carrying surfboards while Andi and Becky carried bodyboards.
"I'll just stand in it and get wet," said Kat.
"You be careful out there, dearies!" Rumple cautioned them.
"We will. C'mon guys!" The group of teenagers trotted down to the shore carrying their boards to wait for the first waves to take them in.
When Belle reached into his carrier to pick up little Bobby she pulled out a kitten instead. "Sweetie...you can't be a kitten today...it's too hot out." Her small son buried his face in her shoulder, purring contentedly and she noticed the bracelet her husband had placed around his arm when he was human was missing. "Rumple, his bracelet is gone...and he's changed again."
Rumple took the baby from her arms and waved his hand over him, changing him back into an infant and conjuring another bracelet for him. "He must've chewed it off in his sleep or it slid off. I thought I enchanted it so that it stays on limbs or paws. Now ye wee imp, ye won't be gettin this one off!" Then he and Archie set up the beach shade the twins and triplets would nap in with blankets he made himself for the floor, pillows, muslin swaddling blankets to wrap them in and several battery operated fans he enchanted to make sure all of them stayed cool but not too much that they would catch a cold. Then he conjured a protective shield around the shade's opening, preventing the sun's rays from burning their childrens' sensitive skin. Unlike normal children, the five mages seemed to be adjusting to their new environment well though they fussed over being in the shade, especially AJ who even though he couldn't sit up or crawl yet, wanted to interact with the land around him.
They heard hysterical laughter from one of the other spots as Jeff took off his jeans revealing a pair a shorts with hot peppers all over them and the words RED HOT CHILI PEPPER in the back.
"I cannot believe you are actually wearing those on the beach!" Robin exclaimed.
"Why not? They're swim trunks too!" Jeff defended. "And I think I look good in them," he said, striking a pose for effect while his father-in-law snapped a picture and sent it to Henry's phone.
"Now there's a red hot chili pepper!" Emma murmured from the blanket.
"If you want to dream, dream big. I've got my own hot pepper right here," Regina cooed at her husband.
Snow and David were laughing from behind their books.
"Hey David, where's the flamingos, huh?" Robin asked him.
He didn't dare admit he'd packed them but he wasn't going to wear them on the beach knowing the humiliation he'd face from his son-in-law and his equally mad cohorts.
"Is this normal?" Penelope asked Maurice.
"For that lot, yes. I think my daughters' families are the sanest."
"Oh yeah? You wanna see the Speedo video we shot, Bordreaux?" Jeff challenged.
"No, he does not!" Rumple cried out from his chair.
"What Speedo video?"
"Never mind, Moe. Just never mind!"
"Oh my God! So HE is the older man that went viral on YouTube!" Penelope exclaimed. "One of the other professors sent it to me and we were lucky we didn't get caught with it because it was obviously not safe for work!"
"Rumplestiltskin! Did you make a pornographic video?" his father-in-law demanded, glaring at him.
"I most certainly did not! That lot hid a camera in my spa room and invaded my privacy! Then they posted it on YouTube for the whole damned world to see so that is why I've been having some of these ladies chasin' after me!"
"And they're damned lucky their asses weren't blistered with my broom!" added Belle.
"Thank God no one has ever done that to us," Marie whispered to her husband.
"Oh, I'd be the laughingstock of the internet," Archie groaned.
"Not to me, baby, not to me..." She tossed him a bottle of sunscreen. "Would you mind putting this on me?"
"Don't you be getting any ideas, my goddess. There are children around," he whispered in her ear.
"I'm saving them for tomorrow night."
Belle took a bottle out of her own bag and tossed it to her husband with a grin. "We don't want my fair skin to get burned, do we?"
"No, mo chroi we do not."
"Hey guys, we're done with our fort! Come and see!" Grace yelled a short time later. Maurice and Penelope got up from their chairs to watch the babies in the shade while their parents walked down to where a large sand fort stood with two preteens and four young boys standing in front of it, beaming with pride at their hard work. It had taken a lot of sand and a lot of patience to build but their teamwork paid off when they saw the joy in their parents' faces as they took pictures and videos on their phones.
"Daddy, we made a little Alamo!" Jonny declared proudly.
Archie scooped up his small son and hugged him. "And you did a great job, pardner!"
"Too bad we can't take it home," Henry confessed sadly then grinned. "Or can't we? Mom, do you think we could?" he asked both of his mothers.
The two women thought for a moment, going through the knowledge of magic they'd been given in the minds to try to find a solution for their son themselves before they consulted their tutor. Regina looked around the beach to make certain no one else was present and kneeled down to whisper a spell she sometimes used in her son's ear. "You can do it, but wait until you're absolutely certain no one can see it."
"You come up with something, Gina?"
"He can shrink it and turn it into a clay sculpture and then he can resize it once we get home...or he can just keep it a sculpture over the winter."
"That's perfect, Gina. Henry, you'd better cast it now before we get a strong wind that damages it," Emma told him.
"Okay guys get your pictures in now," Grace advised.
"Why? What're you gonna do?" Neal inquired.
"I'm gonna shrink it and turn it into clay so we can take it home."
"Yay!" Roland and Jason cheered. "Can we put it up in the yard over the summer?" Roland asked.
"We sure can, lil bro."
"Excellent idea, Henry, and good practice with your magic," Rumple praised.
"Everybody done taking pictures?"
"We're good, Henry. Go ahead!" David called back.
The young magician waved his hand over the sandy structure and it began to shrink in size until it could fit in the palm of his hand and seconds later a small clay sculpture sat where a two foot tall sand fort once stood. He also conjured a bottle to put it in to protect it from being damaged.
"Very good, Henry."
Grace hugged him. "That's great, Henry! Now we can keep it forever."
"Hey, check these out!" Kyria called over to them. She, Adriana, Gisella and Maggie were standing in front of a sandcastles and a small makeshift jail while Ellie sat off the distance throwing sand around and pouting.
"Henry, can you make our castle and jail small so we can keep them?" Gisella asked him.
"Sure. Get your pictures in while you can guys!" Henry instructed the parents before he shrunk the two pieces of artwork into small pieces and placed them in bottles for their parents to put away for safekeeping until they got home.
"Ellie, what's wrong sweetie?" Regina asked her daughter.
"I wanted to build a big castle and I can't!" she pouted. "Didn't wanna build no dumb castle with Driana, Maggie and Sella an Kyria cause they said I wasn't gonna be queen in it!"
"Why didn't you ask them to help you? Did they offer?"
"Yeah but I don't want help. I wanna do it myself!"
"Ellie, honey, sometimes we all need a little help. Even me."
"You do?"
"Yes." Regina sat down beside her. "A while ago, something terrible happened and I thought I was handling it fine on my own but I wasn't. It wasn't easy to ask for help but when I needed it they were right there for me. I'm talking about Emma, Jeff, Snow, David and Rumple. We all used to not get along but look at us now. We had common enemies to fight and we did so together and people can accomplish so many great things when they work together. But people don't always have to come together to fight an enemy. Look at what everyone did at the summer festival. We all came together to have fun, like we did on this vacation and how are you going to have fun when you sit here by yourself?"
"M'not," she sniffled.
"Ellie has a frownie. C'mon guys, let's help her build her castle," Adriana suggested.
"She told us she doesn't want help, she said she wanted to do it herself," Maggie said.
"You know how she is...stubborn," Gisella added.
"Stubborn? She's a brat!" Kyria muttered. "All she does is act snooty."
Maggie and Sella agreed with that assessment. Even Adriana did, a little, but she could also sense the other girl was unhappy and the small empath did not want anyone to feel sad around her. "Well, I'm gonna help!" she said and walked over to Ellie, carrying her Beauty and the Beast pail and shovel. "Hey, Ellie, I can help. Ya gotta make the walls first. Bae says so," she told the other girl, willing to share her hard earned wisdom.
"Really? You wanna help me?" Ellie's eyes lit up.
"Yeah, because it's no fun tryin' to build a castle yourself. It's boring." Adriana smiled at her. "Papa says two people can build a castle better n' one."
"C'mon guys...Driana's right. We oughta go help Ellie," Maggie said to her friends.
The three girls picked up their pails and shovels and joined Ellie and Adriana in the sand while their mothers stood back smiling.
"Thank goodness that Adriana was here to encourage the spirit of cooperation," Regina said to Belle. "She's very much like you must have been as a girl."
"She is. When Marie first came to live with us, she spent most of her time by herself."
"Until you dragged me out of my room and made me play boule with you," Marie laughed.
Belle smiled. "True. I didn't like being lonely. Neither does Rumple, only he told me that they moved around so much as a child that he never had the chance to make any friends and once the other children found out who his papa was, they wouldn't let him play with them. He says he learned to live with being lonely, but he hated it. I think he has a similar empathic gift as our daughter, but had to suppress it as child to keep from going crazy because he suffered so much hurt as a boy."
"Hopefully now she and Maggie won't be at each others' throats all the time."
Emma couldn't bear seeing the girls fighting the way she and Regina did before the curse was broken.
It reminded her too much of the way other girls had picked on her in the various foster homes she had lived at. She thought that she and Rumple had a lot in common with their childhoods.
"Mommy, Mommy...lookit...we did it!" Ellie ran over to her mother, jumping up and down excitedly and pointed to where another sandcastle stood.
"That's great, sweetie!"
"You want this one saved too, Ellie?" Henry asked her.
"Uh-huh. I wanna keep it...if you guys don't mind?" she asked the other girls.
"You can have it and we can play with it when we get back home," Maggie suggested.
"Okay."
Henry handed the saved castle to his mother.
"Hee-yyy Papa, check me out!" Bae called out as he and his friends were riding a large wave on their surfboards.
"Whoooo hoo...lookin' good, Fire!" Andi hooted from the shore while she and Becky were recording them on their phone. Another wave came up behind him and Ewan and knocked them off their boards.
"Bae!" Rumple cried out, limping down to the shore, worried that his son had gotten caught in an undertow and dragged out to sea. Seconds later the two boys emerged from the water carrying their surfboards. "Dammit boy, ye nearly scared twenty years off me!"
"I'm fine, Papa. Just wasn't payin attention."
"Wipeout!" Kat and Bobby teased.
"Hey Daddy, what's that? It looks like a little blue bottle," Neal said and kneeled down to try to pick an object that looked like a blue bottle in the sand.
"Neal, don't touch 'im! He'll sting ya!" Jonny yelled.
"What is it, Jonny?" his father asked him.
"He says he's a Man o War."
"It's a kind of jellyfish," Rumple stated. "And it's poisonous. I think we need to help this one go back into the sea. It'll dry out on the shore."
"Yeah, he got dumped out here by the waves," Jonny added.
Rumple looked at the budding earth mage. "Would you like to help me, Jonny?"
"Sure."
"Rumple, I don't want him touching that thing! It will sting him!" Archie cried.
"Nuh-uh, Daddy. He knows I'm cool."
"Honey, be careful," Marie begged.
"And we don't have to touch him to help," Rumple said. "Jonny, I want you to kneel down here and touch the earth. We need to make the sand move so he can float back into the tide." He kneeled down and touched the earth.
"Okay...like this?" The toddler started moving the sand around with his hands.
"No, lad, not exactly. What I want you to do is to imagine the sand is like a dry ocean in your head. And it ripples like waves. Each ripple brings the Man-o-War closer to the sea" Rumple instructed. "I'll start. Like this."
"You can do it, Jonny," Archie coached.
He concentrated and the sand suddenly rippled up and shoved the beached Man-O-War towards the ocean.
"Daddy, he says there's more of them further down the beach."
The toddler concentrated forming the image of the sand as waves in his mind and the Man-O-War disappeared into the water.
"Good job, lad!" Rumple praised. "That's a good exercise for you."
"Yeah, he's happy now but we gotta find the other guys before they dry out and die or they sting somebody 'cause they're mad."
"Can you feel them?" Rumple asked. One of the talents of an earth mage was feeling creature's auras.
"Uh-huh. I know where they are...one's close by and she's really mad...she can't find her mate cause they got split up."
"Show me, Jonny."
Together the young apprentice and his elder walked down the beach.
"Owwww!" they heard Andi scream.
"What the HELL?" they heard Bae snarl. "Papa, this jellyfish thing stung Andi!"
Her friends gathered around and saw a long red welt down the side of her thigh.
"Oh my God...Bae, it burns!"
"Don't move . . .I think it's got venom in it!" Bae muttered.
"Holy shit, Andi, it got you good," Becky groaned.
"She might be allergic, Daddy," Gisella cried.
"Marie, go get Gisella's epipen out of our bag!" Archie ordered his wife.
Marie ran up to their spot and dug her daughter's pen out of the tote bag she brought with them, always carrying it since their daughter was allergic to coconuts or anything with coconut in it.
Rumple heard Bae's shout and said, "Hang on, dearie. I'm coming!" He cursed the fact that he couldn't teleport and the shifting sand played havoc with his mobility.
"Bae...oh my God...I feel like I did that time I got burned on Kat's stove..."
"It's gonna be okay," he murmured. "Can you breathe all right? Do you feel like you're gonna pass out?"
"I...I think so.." she murmured.
"Keep talking to me, okay?" he urged, terrified. Now he understood the way his papa felt when Belle was in labor.
Marie returned with the pen injector and handed it to her husband. "Do you think she'll need it?"
"I don't know...but we have to get the stinger out...if we can find it."
"I can find it!" piped up Adriana.
She pushed past the knot of concerned teenagers and put her hand on Andi's leg. "Don't worry, Andi. I can make you all better."
"Rumplette, what are you doing?" Bae frowned. "You'd better let Papa do this."
"Bae's right...you gotta wait for your dad..."
The little healer shook her head. "No . . .I can do this . . ." she muttered, then she closed her eyes and let her healing power operate on instinct. A golden glow enveloped her hand and then spread to where the welt was. The magic found the stinger and extracted it, numbed the pain receptors in the girl's leg and then mended the damage.
By the time Rumple arrived, Adriana had removed her hand, and said, "See? All better!"
"You did it!" Andi hugged the little girl.
"That's my baby sister!" Bae said happily and hugged her also.
Rumple beamed proudly at his daughter. "Dearie, ye shoulda waited but . . .you're a Healer born if you can heal something like this when you're only a toddler."
"Amazing," David breathed.
"We gotta get these guys back in the water 'fore they sting anybody else, Daddy," Jonny reminded his father.
"They should close the beach down," Marie added.
"Can't we just burn 'em up?" asked Ellie.
Jonny glared at her. "You wanna burn all of 'em up? They didn't do nothin' to you. They just got tossed up here by accident...no reason to kill 'em!"
"No one's killing anything," Rumple declared flatly. "Jonny, repeat what we did with the first one here. Then we'll do the rest together."
"Okay." The toddler got back to work and returned the second Man-O-War to the ocean but he knew there were at least a dozen others still scattered on the beach.
"How many more are there, lad?"
"About thirteen. I can show ya where they are."
"Maybe we should tell someone and have them close the beach before someone else gets hurt?" Belle suggested.
Fearing this would be too much for the small magician, Rumple said to Emma and Regina, "Come with us, ladies. You can help us."
"I can do it!" Jonny insisted.
"Not by yourself, you can't," Rumple told his nephew. "You'll drain yourself."
"Jonny, listen to your uncle," Marie advised.
"Okay," he sighed.
"Be the first time I've tossed fish off a beach," Emma joked.
"Come on. Let's get goin' before we have another incident," Rumple urged. "Where to next, Jonny?"
He pointed to a spot further down the beach.
This time Rumple showed Emma how to do the "ripple effect" releasing the Man-O-War back into the sea.
While the others were walking back to their spot they could see a group of people walking toward them carrying towels, coolers, umbrellas, and blankets.
"Hello!" one of the men called out.
The Storybrooke residents stared at them, hoping their eyes weren't playing tricks on them.
"Ummm...Jeff...are they?" Robin began.
He rubbed his eyes and looked again. "Yep...they are...unless we both need glasses."
"Daddy, they don't got not clothes on! That's indecent 'sposure!" Maggie yelled.
"Their bojangles are hangin out! Gross!" cried Jason.
"Their what?" Kyria asked him.
"It's what my daddy calls your nuts."
"Ummm...excuse me...I don't mean to be rude, but would you please put some clothes on? There are children here!" Archie snapped.
"Yeah and we do this all the time!" yelled a boy of about eight years old who stepped out from behind the adults, also naked.
"What's this, the streaker parade?" Bobby frowned.
"You...you let your children run around...naked!" Marie gasped.
"What kind of parenting is that?" demanded Snow.
"What's the big deal?" a teenage girl in the group asked them.
"The big deal is that it is highly inappropriate, that's what!" David answered angrily.
"What planet are you from? We're naturists or don't you know what that is?"
"I hardly think getting back to nature means running around with no clothes on!" Belle huffed.
"We're not naturalists, we're naturists which means we're nudists. Read a book will you!" the girl retorted.
"Then whyn't you join a colony?" Bae snapped. "If I want to look at women's cleavage I'd go to a strip joint." He covered his little sister's eyes. "Don't look, Adriana, you'll be scarred for life!"
"Daddy, you gotta arrest em for indecent 'sposure!" Maggie told her father.
"Hey short shit, we're allowed to be nude here!"
"You watch who you're callin' a short shit or you're gonna be a fried shit!" Ellie hollered.
"Eleanor May! Do you want to taste soap? Mind the mouth!" Robin snapped at his daughter.
"Sorry Daddy, but she's pickin on Maggie an' I'm gonna whip her butt!"
"You and what army?"
"If you want an army we can give ya one!" Adriana challenged with an impish grin.
"Do not even think about it, Adriana Isabelle Gold!" her mother warned.
"Laura, stop baiting them!" the father barked at his daughter. "Look, we don't mean to offend anyone but this has been our lifestyle for years. We do live in a colony back in California but we're just here on vacation."
"What's going on here...what in the seven hells are ye people doin' runnin around starkers?!" Rumple demanded as he, Emma, Regina, and Jonny approached the group.
"Ummm...they're nudists, Papa," Bae explained.
"What?! Ye mean...ye do this all the time?"
"Oh dear, it looks my son forgot to warn you about this!" Penelope spoke up. "You see some beaches, like this one, are clothing optional but most of the time you see that from tourists rather than the natives."
The man wrapped his towel around his waist. "Put your towels on," he instructed his wife and children and the two other adults with them.
"Daddy, I don't wanna!" his son pouted.
"Tim, just do it okay," his mother pleaded.
"This is bullshit!" Laura fumed. "If they're so offended, why don't they go somewhere else?"
"Why don't you!" Kat yelled back.
"Laura Ann Cross, you put your towel on or I'm going to do it for you!"
"Fine!" she grumbled and glared at the Storybrooke residents. "Freakin' prudes!"
"I don't understand how such a lifestyle doesn't make you feel...isolated," Belle said.
"Oh it doesn't. Actually, we have less stress in our lives than most of the people we talk to who wear clothes do. For us, clothes represent social boundaries but without them, everyone feels accepted regardless of age, weight, sex, orientation...you name it. For example: the older men and women in your group I'm certain are a bit...self conscious about being undressed in front of anyone other than your spouse...and sometimes even in front of your spouse. That doesn't happen with us...everyone is beautiful just as they are, no need to change a thing to feel accepted," one of the other women, whose name was Jennifer answered.
"And...being unclothed around each other doesn't encourage any...inappropriate behavior?" Archie inquired.
"Not at all."
"Well, I guess we should introduce ourselves. I'm Todd Cross. This is my wife Tiffany, our kids Laura and Tim and my brother Mike and his wife's name is Jennifer." Todd held out his hand to Rumple. The sorcerer shook it politely and introduced the rest of the group, making sure to call Snow and David by their cursed names. He introduced himself using his cursed name of Robert but said everyone called him Rumple because of his profession as a pawnshop owner.
"Deals are my specialty," he chuckled.
"Where do you live?" Tim asked Bae.
"It's a little town in Maine called Storybrooke."
"Sounds like it's in the middle of nowhere," Laura said.
"It kinda is," Andi laughed.
"No wonder you guys don't know much about nudists."
"It's kinda hard to run around starkers when it's thirty degrees out," Bae laughed. "Winters in Maine are COLD and the summers aren't all that warm either. Not like on the West coast."
"I guess we're spoiled then. We've lived in California all our lives. Hey...nice tat you got there." Laura pointed to his Scorpion tattoo.
"Thanks," Bae said, as he had long since stopped feeling self conscious about his gang logo. Besides these people wouldn't realize what it had stood for.
She turned around and showed them the large dragon tattoo she had on her back.
"That's a nice one!" Bae said and the other Scorpions nodded.
"It hurt like hell having it done but it was worth it. I've always loved dragons and I draw them and other mythological creatures all the time."
"Bae won a state contest painting him and Papa!" Adriana boasted.
"Umm . . .yeah, I did," Bae acknowledged. He pulled out his phone. "This was my painting."
"That's amazing. I do mostly sketching and body art...I can't work well on canvas."
"I had to take lessons to learn how to paint, because before this I sketched too. But I like to paint because you can get a richer color palette and tone you can't get with pencils."
"Oh I tried taking lessons but my teachers said body art worked best for me."
"Everyone has their own mediums," Bae said.
She glanced down at the surfboards. "You been out in the waves yet?"
"Yeah for a bit," Andi said. "Till he got wiped out and nearly gave his papa heart failure."
"And you got stung by a Man-O-War," Becky reminded her.
"Oh crap! They're out? I got nailed by one once and it hurt like an SOB with welts all over me."
"Tell me about it. It hurt like the time I burned myself on my friend's industrial range top." Andi grimaced. "But I think the tide came and got them all cause we didn't see anymore since."
"Good. I'm going to catch some waves."
The teenager grabbed her surfboard and headed out to the water. "You guys comin?"
"Shall we try this again, bro?" Bae asked Ewan.
"Yeah. C'mon Fury. Andi, you coming?"
"Ah why not?"
"We'll just stay by the shore and let you guys splash us," Bobby joked, indicating himself and Kat.
"Be careful out there!" Rumple called out to them.
"We will, Papa."
"You guys wanna build a sandcastle?" Tim asked the younger children.
"We built some but we can build more, plus we gotta have a fort an a jail," said Maggie.
"We got enough of us to do it," Grace giggled.
"If we were back home I'd wanna play kickball but it sucks in the sand because ya can't run fast."
"Well they seem to be getting along," Belle said to Jennifer and Tiffany when she and Marie went to check on the babies. All of them were wide awake and in need of changing.
"I don't know how you two manage having that many babies at one time!" Tiffany laughed.
"It's easier when you have a husband willing to share the workload."
"I can imagine being a father again late in life was a bit shocking for your husband, Belle."
"Not really, Jen. We wanted to have more children...for a little while we didn't think we could...but we've been blessed...fourfold!"
"So what does your husband do, Marie?" Tiffany inquired.
"He's a therapist, a good one too. I'm his office manager but lately he's been holding office hours at home because he doesn't want to have too much time away from the kids."
"That lump over there and I are the law and order in the town," Emma quipped, pointing at Jeff.
"Belle and I are teachers...David is one of Emma's deputies but he also volunteers at the pet shelter." Snow said.
"My husband owns a plumbing business and I guess you can say I own the town." Regina smirked.
"You think you do! She's the mayor."
Valora started screaming, her siblings following suit.
"Oh, looks like someone is hungry."
The other ladies excused themselves while Belle nursed her triplets. Marie put AJ and Maureen in their carriers and took them over to where Archie was sitting under his umbrella reading.
"I knew as soon as we saw them you were going to pull out one of your manuals looking for something," she joked.
"I just...would feel...odd being naked in public, especially at my age!"
"You'll always be my Adonis even when all our hair and teeth fall out."
He knew his brother-in-law would share his feelings.
"And I know Rumple wouldn't..."
"Rumple, when are you and this husband of mine gonna get it through your thick skulls you're always going to be handsome to Belle and me?"
She was tempted to break out the broom for good measure.
"Well I won't be parading around starkers in public, dearie."
It was bad enough there was that video still floating around on YouTube and now he had what Belle called 'groupies' chasing after him. Thankfully he hadn't encountered any of his 'fans' yet but his inbox was still being flooded with racy emails.
"Damn that Hatter and his cohorts for putting that video on the internet," he grumbled.
What he had was for his wife's eyes only, not the whole damned public...and he seriously doubted any of those women were as interested in him as they claimed to be, nor did he care.
"Some things...just should remain private," he added and glanced over to where the Cross men were talking with David, Jeff and Robin. Maurice and Penelope were walking along the beach.
Now it was AJ and Maureen's turn to demand their lunch. Marie and Archie picked them up and took them back to the shelter to nurse them while Belle and Tiffany carried the triplets over to visit their father. He adjusted the umbrella to keep them well shaded. Holding his three babies in his arms and stealing glances at the beautiful woman he'd helped create them with pushed back his inner demons once again.
"Part of me can't wait to see them start crawling...walking...talking...and the other part doesn't want them to grow up too fast," Belle said.
"Hopefully we won't miss them take their first steps like we did with Adriana. She snuck that in on us!"
"She gets that from you. Now we did hear her say her first word."
He giggled. "Oh aye. Right in the middle of Emma's wedding! I'm almost afraid of the shenanigans these wee imps are gonna cause."
"Well, they're chips off the old teacups so we'll need to be on our toes, aren't you?" Belle cooed and tickled them under their chins. Her children all wore their father's smirk on their faces.
The teenagers were walking back toward them, the girls and boys laughing hysterically after Bae wiped out on his surfboard. Rumple glanced up to see what the commotion was, his eyebrows raising into his hair.
"BAELFIRE GOLD! YE GET A TOWEL ON RIGHT NOW!" Rumple bellowed.
"Papa, what the heck's your bag?"
"Bae! Oh my God!" Belle covered her eyes and their daughter's.
"What's wrong with them?" he asked his friends. They said nothing and continued to laugh.
"Bae, for God's sake will you listen to your father and put a damn towel on!" Archie called out while he and the rest of the parents shielding their childrens' young eyes. The Cross family started laughing.
"Will somebody tell me what the heck is going on?" the teenager demanded impatiently.
"Your bojangles are hanging out!" Roland yelled.
To his horror Bae realized that his shorts had fallen off. He'd been having difficulty keeping them up the entire time he was in the water and felt them sliding down while he was surfing and as he was trying to pull them back up he lost his balance.
"Awww shit! Guys, why didn't you TELL me I was running around naked instead of standing there laughing like a buncha idiots!" He glared at his friends and grabbed a towel from Ewan, wrapping it around his waist.
"Too busy enjoying the view," Andi whispered.
"Don't ye be gettin' any ideas, Andrielle MacLeod!" Rumple growled.
"Damn, I was enjoying the view too," Laura joked.
"Oh you can look...but you can't touch," Andi warned.
Soon the children were begging their parents to take them in the water. Rumple assured all of them that it was safe again now that he, Jonny, Emma and Regina had returned the Man-O-Wars to their rightful place in the ocean.
"They're happy now...and I told them we won't bother them so they won't bother us," Jonny added.
"Yeah but that sting hurt like heck, Jonny!" Andi moaned.
"Last one in is a rotten egg!" Jeff called out to his family.
"If I wasn't carrying your kid you'd be eating my dust right now, Hatter!" Emma bragged.
"We'll beat him, Mom. C'mon Gracie, C'mon, Maggie!"
"Hah! Eat OUR dust, Daddy!" Gracie blew a raspberry at her father as she and her siblings ran past him.
"How about the last one in gets dunked!" Robin called back.
"You're on Hood!" David raced past the portal jumper.
"Come on guys you heard Daddy. Make him work for it," Regina said to her children while she, Snow and Emma shuffled along behind them.
Archie set his book aside and stood up. "Would you mind watching the kids til we get back, Moe?" he asked his father-in-law.
"Not at all."
As he and Rumple started walking down the beach their wives stepped in front of them, scowling. "You're not going down like that. Shirts. Off!" Marie said.
"Marie, I can't...my scar..." her husband said nervously.
"Ye think I wanna be showin' off more wrinkles, Belle?" Rumple demanded of his wife.
"Shirts off boys," Belle said with a snap of her fingers.
"You didn't mind me keeping my shirt on the first time we were here, Marie," Archie argued.
"That's because we'd just gotten married and you were still a bit shy around me but we're past that my Adonis," Marie said softly. "It's just your shirt. The rest comes later...tomorrow night," she whispered in his ear.
"And Rumple honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of either. You'll always be beautiful to me," Belle was saying. "I can unwrap the rest of the Gold One later...in private."
"Oh will ye now?" Rumple's eyebrow arched. "Ye wanna make a deal wi' me, mo chroi?"
"You go in the water with your shirt off for at least an hour and..." she stepped forward and whispered in his ear. "Hehehe! Ye bold minx. Deal!" He yanked his shirt off and tossed it at the chair. "Come on, Hopper!"
"Well, my goddess, will you make me an offer I can't refuse?" Archie inquired of his wife.
"You've been hanging around him too long, and watched the Godfather too much! All right. How about tonight I..." she whispered in his ear. His eyes lit up and he threw his shirt at his chair. They took their wives' hands and ran toward the ocean with their children behind them laughing.
"Bout time you two get your asses in here!" Jeff taunted Archie and Rumple.
"I was here first!" Archie laughed.
"This is the best vacation ever!" Henry yelled.
"You can say that again!" Bae called back and disappeared under the water, swimming like a shark toward his unsuspecting father and dunked him.
"Ahhh! Bae, ye scamp! Ye just wait!"
"Gotta catch me first."
"That won't be too hard!" Belle winked at her husband and they swam toward their target.
"They're gonna git'cha, Bae!" Adriana warned. She and the other toddlers had been instructed to stay closer to the shore and though all of them could swim very well and were wearing floatation devices, theit parents weren't taking any chances. Snow stayed behind with them, content to just stand in the water to cool off.
Belle and Rumple located their target and dragged the teenager under the water while his friends laughed and the other couples took turns dunking each other and splashed each other playfully.
"Get a room!" Regina yelled out to Belle and Rumple and Archie and Marie who stood in the water kissing each other passionately. They ignored her.
"You have an amazing family," Penelope said softly while they watched the others frolicking in the ocean. "And your sons-in-law seem to adore your daughters."
"They do. And my daughters love them as much...plus look that the beautiful grandchildren I have."
"Maurice, these past few weeks have been the best time of my life," Penelope confessed. "Being with you and your family..."
He took her hand in his. "I've been having a wonderful time too...and I've been thinking...why don't you come to Italy with us?"
"You want me to?"
"Of course I do!"
"All right. I'll come with you."
They both knew sooner or later they would have to say goodbye but neither was ready for that yet. It would not be easy for them to have a relationship with so great a distance between them but as he'd learned from his daughters: true love always found a way.
Later on that afternoon, the group plus the Cross family decided to have dinner together at an outdoor restaurant. It was the same one the Hoppers had visited during their honeymoon that was owned by an American, boasted a multicultural menu and the site of the famous 'roadkill' incident. It was well known by the family that Gisella Hopper was one of the harshest food critics and if she found fault with something served to her, it didn't matter who cooked it, she would toss it out on the road and yell "Get your roadkill!" to passersby.
"Hopefully the management and the cooking staff have changed," Archie muttered while he read his menu.
"Phone's ready just in case," Henry chuckled.
"Do you guys even eat naked?" Roland asked Tim. The family stopped at their hotel to put on clothes before they went to the restaurant.
"Yup. At home but not when we go on vacation 'less we're at a colony or something."
While everyone waited for their orders the Cross family recounted some of their adventures in other countries.
"We're slowly but surely becoming globe trotters," Regina said with a laugh. Jeff and Emma have been a few places in the States and Mary and David took Neal to Universal. And of course, Archie and Marie spent their honeymoon here and in Italy."
"How soon are you due?" Tiffany asked her and Snow.
"A few more weeks at least...if not sooner," Snow answered. "I'm a little nervous about having the baby abroad but we should be fine."
When the servers returned with their food, Rumple and Archie grabbed their forks and knives and cut into their steaks, relieved to see that they had been cooked to order. When Belle's hamburger was set down in front of her she scowled.
"What is this?"
"Ewww, Mama, what is that white stuff all over it?" Adriana cried.
Belle picked up her spoon and tasted the white cream. "Yogurt?! On a hamburger? I didn't order this! I asked for ketchup, cheese and pickles."
"Yogurt, yogurt...I hate yogurt! Even with strawberries!" Becky recited a famous tirade from Spaceballs. Her friends tittered.
"Enough you lot!" Rumple chastised. "Now dearie, take this back and tell the cook to make it the way she requested."
"Or it's going out on the road!" Gisella threatened.
"W...What?" Jennifer laughed.
The server glared at them and took the plate back to the kitchen. While the others were eating their dinner, Ellie jumped up and started screaming.
"MOMMY! LOOKIT MY SOUP!"
Jonny, who was sitting beside her glanced down at the bowl. "Gross! What the heck IS that?" He pointed to a plastic object floating in her clam chowder.
"I dunno but m'not eatin' it!" She pushed the bowl away.
"Oh my God! That's a CONDOM!" Emma exclaimed. "What the hell kinda place is this?"
"Is there a problem?" the server asked when he returned with Belle's hamburger.
Robin dipped a spoon in the chowder and fished out the condom. "Does THIS look like a problem to you?" he barked. "How the HELL did THAT get in there?"
"I...I don't know," he stammered.
"Well I suggest you find out...and quickly!" Regina demanded, giving him one of her regal Looks.
"Some things never change," Marie sighed.
The commotion brought the manager to their table. He took one look at the Hoppers and groaned. "Not YOU!" Though it had been five years since their last encounter, the manager remembered the family well, having heard through friends that the girl's stunt with her father's uncooked steak went viral on YouTube.
Archie stood up. "Yes, me. I suggest you start running because if you think my family was difficult, you haven't seen anything yet. He's all yours," he said to Regina.
"What the hell kind of establishment are you running where people are serving CONDOMS in the food?" Regina ranted. "I ought to SUE you!"
"Try and they'll laugh you out of court. You think I don't know a setup job when I see it?"
The Scorpions made slashing motions across their throats.
"Y...You...son of a bitch. Are you honestly suggesting that I would deliberately traumatize my child to make a few bucks? That...thing was in the soup before my daughter even touched it!" she hissed, wanting to roast the man on a spit! Emma took several pictures of the soup for evidence and Jeff was recording the exchange on his cellphone.
Ellie jumped out of her chair and ran over to where the manager stood, glaring up at him. "You watch how you talk to my mommy or I'll roast you!"
"Oh yeah? What'cha gonna do huh?" he challenged.
"Boy is he gonna get it," Neal whispered to Adriana.
"She can't 'cause Papa put that bracelet on her to stop her from doing it," she whispered back.
Though she wasn't able to use fire, Ellie did have another weapon at her disposal...her feet. She raised her foot and stomped down hard on the older man's toes.
"Owwww...you bitch...you little fuckin bitch!"
"You kiss your mommy with that mouth?" Jonny asked angrily and before his father could stop him he ran over to them, kicking the man in the shin. "Don'cha call Ellie names again or next time m'gonna kick ya right in the nuts!"
"Git 'im Jonny!" Maggie hooted while Ellie glanced over at Jonny, her mouth agape. It was the first time he'd ever defended her.
"You people are nothing but trouble. Leave!" the manager yelled.
"Gladly!" Rumple said coldly. "But know this: ye won't be in business much longer...dearie!" The group left the restaurant with many of the other customers close behind them, not wanting to patronize a place with such a rude staff and unsanitary conditions.
Later on that evening while Regina was putting her daughter to bed she noticed that Ellie seemed preoccupied.
"What's wrong, sweetie?"
"Can we read my Maleficent book tonight?"
"Of course honey." Regina sat on the bed beside her and opened the book, an orchid that had been preserved by a spell falling into her lap. She picked it up and smiled, recalling how they found it and what she thought it meant.
"Moooo-mmmyyyy!" Ellie sobbed. She was sitting on the ground holding her leg where she'd scraped it after falling off the swing. She and Maggie had been having a competition to see who could swing the highest and the fastest and Ellie not wanting to be outdone by her rival had been swinging too high to keep herself on the seat and tumbled to the ground. Regina had been setting up the picnic table for the childrens lunch when she heard her daughter cry out and rushed to her side.
"M'sorry Ellie," Maggie said sadly.
"GO 'WAY! Why you always havta be better at everything? Huh?"
"I didn't mean to..."
"Maggie, would you mind going in the house with your grandmother and the others for a minute?"
"Okay..."
After Regina tended to her daughter's knee and helped her to her feet they were both surprised to see an orchid sitting on the seat of Ellie's swing. It was the toddler's favorite flower.
"Where did that come from?" Regina mused.
"Maybe it blew in with the wind."
Regina shook her head. The family owned an orchid bush but it grew in the special greenhouse Rumple had designed for her since the Maine climate was not suitable for growing them outdoors. "Maybe you have a secret admirer," she said softly.
"Nuh-uh. The boys don't like me. They like Maggie. She's prettier...or Driana."
"But someone knows this is your favorite flower. Do you want to keep it?"
"Yeah. Can you put some kinda spell on it so's it doesn't die?"
"I sure can honey." Regina waved her hand over the flower. Ellie smiled and tucked it between the pages of one of her favorite chapters in her book.
"Mommy, why do boys like Maggie more'n me?"
"Which boy are you referring to?"
"Just boys," Ellie said evasively.
Regina frowned. "Ellie, honey talk to me."
"It's nothin, Mommy. Can you read now?"
Regina was only able to read several pages before her daughter drifted off to sleep, the book opened to the pages holding her orchid.
Over in the Hoppers suite a similar conversation was taking place between father and son, Archie recalling another conversation he had with his son a month earlier.
"...How do ya let a girl know you like her? I mean like a girlfriend."
Archie's mouth dropped open. "Jonny! My God, aren't you a little young for that?" he cried.
"Sella's got a boyfriend!"
"Well...ummm...err...I suppose...but..." The therapist sighed. His children were growing up too soon for his liking. "Have you told her that you like her?"
"No...afraid she'll laugh at me."
"Then maybe you can show her."
"Huh?"
Archie smiled. "If there's one thing I've learned loving your mother it's that a woman doesn't always need a man to tell her how he feels but show her. And that's what I've been doing for as long as we've known each other. You know I first fell in love with her when I was a cricket but I didn't let that stop me from trying to show her how I felt."
"How didja do it if you were a cricket?"
"She was a bit upset with me for waking her up early one morning and all I wanted to do was see her beautiful smile so I chewed a rose off one of the bushes and gave it to her. She started having feelings for me then but was afraid to admit it...because of what we were."
"This girl likes flowers...maybe I should leave her one."
"It doesn't hurt to try."
"...I guess now I have my answer as to which girl you were referring to, don't I, Jonny? That was brave of you to stand up for Ellie like that but also dangerous. That man could've injured both of you."
"Yeah. I know she thinks I don't like her...I just don't like when she gets all snooty...but when she's nice..." "Did you do what I suggested?"
"Yeah I left her one of those flowers she likes on her swing that day she fell off...but I got scared an hid before she found out it was me!"
"Then maybe now it's time to tell her how you feel."
"Daddy!"
"No, you don't want to hold off. For months after we met again I drove myself crazy trying to work up the courage to tell your mother but when I finally said those three words I felt like I'd lifted a boulder off my chest." Archie smiled. "And what better time for you to do it than at our reception tomorrow."
"How'm I gonna do it?" "You'll know when the time's right. Now, we'll need to get up early and do some shopping for orchids, won't we?" Jonny hugged him. "Daddy, I really hope she doesn't get mad at me."
"Oh, I don't think she will." He kissed his son's forehead. "Night, pardner. Tomorrow's gonna be a big day for both of us and I want you well rested."
"Night, Daddy!" Father and son drifted off to sleep dreaming of the day ahead and the sweet surprises it would bring for both of them.