I sat in the tent, contemplating a decision. What Alex said earlier was stuck in my mind and I couldn't shake the feeling away. I was hesitant and didn't know what to do. I felt kinda foolish for feeling this way about something so simple, but I guess I was really insecure about the whole thing. Fuck Matt for starting this. Fuck Alex for reminding me. Fuck everything. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why? WHY!?
"Why...?" I whispered to myself.
"Why what?" Nathan asked.
I glanced over at Nathan to see him lying on the ground, staring up at me with a smile. I sighed and looked away from him. I really didn't want to talk about this right now.
"Are you still thinking about what Alex said?" He asked, sitting up. "Forget it, okay?"
I quickly shook my head.
"What I want to know is...why did he bring it up?" I questioned, staring at Nathan.
Nathan then stared at me, hesitant.
"Tell me." I ordered.
He sighed. "Fine. Alright. I...I kinda told him that...well, he asked about how you felt when I told you that me and him gave each other blowjobs on the last camping trip and he asked me if you ever...gave me one."
I stared at him, wanting him to continue.
"So I told him no..." He said then he quickly looked away.
I started to feel my heart racing. Just from looking at Nathan's face and watching him, it seems like Nathan kinda wants me to do more things with him, but he's probably afraid to bring it up.
"Do...do you want me to?" I finally asked.
Nathan shrugged, still not looking at me. "I do, but if you don't want to because of last year then I understand-"
"No. It's not because of that. Well, I guess it's partly the reason, but the biggest reason is that..." I trailed off and sighed, looking away.
"I'm a little scared..." I mumbled quietly under my breath.
"You're what?"
"I'm a little scared!" I shouted.
"When we first met, you told me how quick that one girl made you climax and I just...I felt like I wouldn't be good enough if I gave you a blowjob. Like, you would prefer someone with more experience..."
"Simon," Nathan said, calling my name and grabbing my chin. He made me look at him and I couldn't help, but stare into his soft eyes.
"I don't care if you have a lot of experience or if it's your first time. I just want to enjoy being with you in general. You don't have to feel pressured to pleasure me alright?" He said, softly and smiled.
I smiled a little back and nodded, feeling a bit relieved about the situation now.
"O-okay..."
"Buuuuut," He started, sitting back on his hands.
"I can't wait till the day comes when you're ready, though~" He teased, grinning at me.
I rolled my eyes. "You're going to be waiting for a long time then."
"Aww..." Nathan whined, frowning then he jumped on top of me and started kissing me everywhere.
I felt my body hit the ground as Nathan's weight pushed against my body and I had a hard time moving under him.
"N-Nathan! S-stop!" I shouted, struggling against him.
"No! Let me love on you~" He said, not giving up.
I eventually gave up and allowed Nathan to kiss me, sweetly.
...
Our camping trip finally ended a few days later. I was a little sad because then it meant going back to school and dealing with Matt and the teachers and also my parents, but I was happy too because then I wouldn't have to see Alex anymore and worry about him trying to flirt with Nathan. I think this camping trip made me and Nathan become even more closer because we revealed secrets that we've kept to ourselves for a long time. Though, I am hoping that there will be no more secrets kept for awhile.
Before everybody got into the cars after packing the camp up, we said our goodbyes. I was hesitant to say goodbye to Alex, though, but I forced myself to act a little nice and civil to him since I won't be seeing him again anyways.
"It was nice meeting you, Simon." Alex said with a fake smile.
"You too..." I mumbled as I glared at him.
"I'll wait for you in the car, okay?" Nathan said, speaking up.
I nodded and watched him walk to his mom's car before focusing my attention back on Alex. Alex then held his hand out to me and I simply took it, shaking it until he pulled me closer to him and he started whispering to me.
"I look forward to seeing you this holiday season~" He said, smirking as he pulled away from me and walked away, leaving me stunned.
I stood there, staring at the back of his head, shocked. Did he just say what I think he just said? I'm really hoping that I won't have to see him over the holidays too.