Heaven was an intangible concept for Királynö. She imagined it as shining lights and bright, fluffy clouds, much like Golden Age literature had described the place. She didn't give much thought to the idea ever, she rarely had time to sit down and think. But when the Queen summoned her, she had a taste of what the concept was.
Heaven was imagining those arms around her, that silken, honeyed voice purring in her ear. It was feeling those soft, rosy lips against hers. She never did, but she could pretend that the words the Queen spoke were for her ears alone, soft and sweet nothings between the two of them. Dreaming of the Queen was something Kira saved for when she was alone in her small apartment, resting between raids and patrols.
Heaven was envisioning those three little words spilling from rosy lips, soft gasps and purrs filling the space between the two Awoken. She imagined fervent kisses, "The Queen has need of your… assistance…" and teeth leaving marks on throats. When the room got too warm for Kira, she would turn on all the fans in her house and take an icy cold shower. Sometimes that helped.
Heaven, as Kira had come to know it, was serving Mara Sov in the only way she could, completing bounties, defeating Skolas. The Queen's command was Kira's wish, and she imagined those nimble fingers in her hair, tugging until Kira couldn't stand it anymore, until she was begging for more. Her armor and cape symbolized the one thing she could never say: she was in love with the queen of the Awoken.
Heaven was living in the Reef when bounties became long tours and patrols, raids on Wolf hideouts and eliminating every Captain and Vandal that stood in her way. Heaven was crashing down after the Queen had died. It was hearing from Petra that the Queen "would never admit it, but respected you very much."
Heaven had become hell.