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Like I didn't see it coming
Like I didn't walk in willingly
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Severus didn't have to worry about Hermione Granger discovering the true identity of the Half-Blood Prince. That very night, just as Severus finished his marking, Filius ran into his office in a panic. "Severus, come quick! Death Eaters have broken into the castle! Minerva's upstairs fighting them right now!"
Damn. Damn damn. Draco had made his move without even setting off a single fucking Monitoring Charm.
Well, the fewer people involved, the better. Ideally, everyone would be in bed and the Death Eaters would find no victims. Filius seemed intent on waking the whole castle, though, so Severus did the most expedient thing and Stunned him. He hurried out of his office, only to run into Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood, clearly posted as a feeble lookout.
He couldn't let them follow him upstairs. "Professor Flitwick has had a fit and passed out in my office," he told them in a rush. "Will you please tend to him while I get Madam Pomfrey?"
Miss Granger looked confused-Miss Lovegood merely mildly curious-so Severus gave more instructions to keep them from overthinking: "Stay with him until I return!"
He sprinted up the stairs, and as he reached the ground floor, his hopes of keeping people out of the fight were crushed. The scene was absolute chaos, with duels and fighting and students and a fucking werewolf, …
And Severus could not get in the middle of it. He had prior commitments that he had sworn his life to keep.
But Draco and Dumbledore were nowhere to be seen. He closed his eyes and focused his magic. He could feel something-Draco was trying to gather himself for an Unforgivable Curse, and Severus's Monitoring Charm rumbled like a distant drumbeat. The boy was on top of the Astronomy Tower.
Severus ran toward it.
When he reached the top of the tower, he took in the whole scene instantly. One: Draco had managed to corner Dumbledore-this was good, perhaps the Dark Lord wouldn't kill the boy after all. Two: Draco hadn't killed Dumbledore despite having the opportunity-this was not so good for Draco's immediate well-being, but if he could survive the short-term consequences of his failure, he was more likely to have a long and happy life. Three: Draco had failed his task in front of the most devastating witnesses-the Carrow twins, Greyback, and Bellatrix Fucking Lestrange. Four: the time to kill Dumbledore was obviously upon him-but that was hardly comforting in the moment. Five: there were two broomsticks on top of the tower. Two broomsticks, and of all the people present, only one hadn't arrived on foot-which meant there was someone else he could not see-which of course meant it was Potter, under his Invisibility Cloak.
But Dumbledore wasn't acting as if Potter would interfere with his murder, which meant that Potter was incapacitated. Severus could only hope he was unconscious, and not simply in a Body Bind.
He didn't have time to hesitate, and there were no options to mull over in any case. Severus cast the Killing Curse and gathered the others and made for the nearest exit...only to find himself pursued by Potter, whose blind rage could only mean that he had been conscious for the murder of the headmaster. That fucking idiot boy whose life was already forfeit but didn't know yet know it; that fucking idiot boy for whom Severus had just burned to the ground every last connection to every human being that he had built over the last fifteen years.
He had killed himself as effectively as he had Dumbledore. Severus Snape, Hogwarts Professor, was dead, and all that remained was Severus Snape, Death Eater, and no one-no one-could know that Severus Snape had a final mission to do for Dumbledore.
So when the boy came at him, Severus's own rage bordered on berserker. The boy's hexes had a surprising amount of power behind them, but each was predictable enough that Severus easily parried every one of them.
But instead of being thankful that Severus didn't simply flay him (which took great restraint, especially after he parried two Unforgivable Curses the boy attempted), Potter only got angrier. The boy called him a coward, and Severus turned in disgust to leave the scene. There was no need for this fight. The boy was not ready-in so many ways.
But before Severus could even signal to the others that it was time to go, Amycus Carrow hit Potter with the Cruciatus Curse. Severus roared and hit Amycus with a stinging hex-a part of him would have liked to use the Cruciatus Curse himself, but a larger part of him demanded mercy for reasons he didn't have time to fathom.
"Have you forgotten our orders?" Severus screamed at Amycus. "Potter belongs to the Dark Lord-we are to leave him! Go! Go!"
Thankfully, Rowle and the Carrows obeyed him and ran for the Apparition boundary. But before Severus could follow, Potter again tried to land a curse-this time, Sectumsempra. That the boy would attempt such a thing-Just like his father after all!-After Severus had spent the evening feeling sorry for the boy!-and to do it now, at a moment when Severus had just betrayed everything and everyone and unwillingly murdered a man-Severus found himself in such a rage that he acted without thought. But before he could perform a major curse, Potter tried to cast Levicorpus, and Severus had to act so quickly that even he didn't know what hex he had used. Potter flew back and hit the ground hard, thankfully losing his wand.
That the boy would resort to the Half-Blood Prince's spells-as if they were his own secret weapon!-enraged Severus beyond measure. Those are my spells, he wanted to yell. Mine, and you have no right to them!
"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them-I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so...no!"
For Potter had made a move for his wand, and Severus knocked it aside with a wordless spell.
"Kill me then," Potter said, but not in fear or resignation. No, he said it in a sanctimonious little snit. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward-"
Severus exploded. After all he had done-to be called coward by the likes of Harry Potter, who thought that bravery meant running out into the night-by himself-against an enemy he couldn't hope to defeat. And to demand that Severus kill him-because the boy didn't understand his role was to die by someone else's hand-Severus wasn't allowed to kill him, even if he wished to.
But, oh, it wasn't yet time to tell the boy even that much.
Severus hit him with the worst whipping jinx he knew, but before he could cause lasting damage, he was driven off the castle grounds by that mad hippogriff.
Just as well, really, he thought. And he Disapparated.
He would have preferred a destination of his own choosing, but he could not delay in reporting to the Dark Lord. Luckily, his reputation of being a surly bastard served him well-even in a moment of triumph, his misanthropy was an accepted fact. Therefore very few people figuratively patted him on the back, and no one did it literally. He answered the Dark Lord's questions directly, but let others embellish details as they wished.
Draco was mainly left alone. He was asked to recount what he had done, which was an enlightening tale for Severus. The Dark Lord congratulated the boy for accomplishing what he had, then subjected him to the Cruciatus Curse for his failure. Afterward, Bellatrix also attempted to Cruciate Draco, but Severus saw Narcissa flick her wand just before Bellatrix changed her mind and walked away.
After he himself had received the Dark Lord's highest praise, Severus was allowed to leave.
He went to Spinner's End. And finally he could reflect on how badly things had gone tonight.
First of all, when Severus agreed to murder Dumbledore, he never imagined that children would witness it. Draco may have joined the Death Eaters, but he hadn't seen a murder before tonight. And Potter...Potter had already seen enough murder that it was possible he would never recover-and Severus felt this most recent experience would be worse than the others. Dumbledore had insisted that Potter's greatest strength was his ability to love-how could the boy continue to do so, when everyone he loved was taken from him so cruelly? How could Dumbledore not see how foolish it was to leave Potter conscious, if Potter had to be there at all?
And then Severus realized that the headmaster had probably planned to have Potter witness the deed. It would be useful for Severus's cover if the boy hated him without reserve, and this was a simple route to that end.
Besides, if witnessing Dumbledore's death made the boy more reckless, depressed, and suicidal, that would serve to make him more willing to accept his final fate. But Dumbledore had hinted at a difficult task-one the boy must accomplish before Severus told him this last great secret-how could Potter have the will to carry out a difficult task, then also have the will to end his own life?
As for Draco, the headmaster would probably have argued that it was best that Draco know what it truly meant to join the Death Eaters. As if the boy had had any choice in the matter.
And how many other people had been murdered tonight? Severus had no time to do a body count, but he'd noticed several immobile forms strewn throughout the corridors of Hogwarts.
And this brought him to an uncomfortable fact: Draco had unleashed killers on his schoolmates. Fenrir Fucking Greyback had been among them.
And then there was the Half-Blood Prince.
When he thought about how Potter had used the Half-Blood Prince's spells against him, he still felt a swoop of anger in his belly. But a voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Minerva told him, "He saved those spells for last for a reason, you foolish man. He thought they were his best ones. You should be flattered."
But he used them against me.
Head-Minerva scoffed at him. "You had just murdered his last remaining father figure on this earth, you dimwit. Yes, I imagine he threw every hurtful spell he could think of at you."
He crossed his arms and pointedly ignored Head-Minerva. She got the point and stayed quiet.
As he sat in his chair and stared at the smoldering fire in his grate, he considered asking the Minerva in his head if she could forgive him for what he'd done that night. Then he wondered if he might be losing his mind a little bit.