Lets just pretend that i haven't been doing absolutely butt-fuck all these past three months. Santana is in this chapter, so theres that.

Alone In This House

Chapter Three: Apologies

Quinn sat there, with Rachel in her arms and digested her words. She felt the girl's body shudder against her her own, in rhythm with each broken breath. She could feel the girls tears on her shoulder and arms around her waist. But she was trapped inside her own mind.

Her head just went round and round in circles trying to understand exactly what Rachel's words meant. She knew Rachel wasn't telling her the whole story, the girl had said that much herself but even knowing this much Quinn felt grateful. But that didn't take away from the pain she felt for Rachel.

She'd been alone, for three years. In this house. Completely alone. And then when she went to school she had no one. And on top of that she had everyone insulting her and throwing slushies at her.

Quinn's heart ached, it literally ached. There was a noticeable pain in her chest. It actually felt like someone had just stabbed her in the chest. She didn't know that pain like this actually existence. True, heart rending, feel-like-your-going-throw-up pain. She had never experienced pain like this, not even when she was thrown out of her own house.

Quinn guessed this is was true love was like. When their pain is your pain, tenfold. When their happiness is like a breath of pure ecstasy thrumming vibrantly through your veins, infecting every nerve in your body.

Quinn realised now that she was completely and utterly screwed.

Because here was Rachel, crying for herself, crying for her loneliness and her pain and Quinn felt like she could die any minute.

Quinn thought back to the last day of school, how Rachel seemed for far away, so fed up...so grey. That hollow look in the girls eyes that when unnoticed by everyone bar Quinn.

Quinn connected the dots and realised that even though school was probably painful for Rachel as least there were people there, at least there were people she could talk to, people in glee club that she could almost call friends.

But in the summer, she was here. Alone.

That must be why on the last day she looked so down. She was dreading the next three months of utter isolation. While most students looked forwards to the summer, to the nights spent with their friends, lazy days spent watching tv with their parents flittering around doing whatever parents do.

Rachel had none of that. For the past three summers.

Quinn remember what she had said at the end of the day.

Have a nice time alone this summer.

She wanted to punch herself in the face. If it was possible she would have. Maybe she could go to Santana's house and pay the girl to beat her up.

But she knew that wouldn't make Rachel feel any better so she discarded the thought instantly. But she knew something that might make Rachel feel better and even if it didn't Quinn felt like she had to try.

First she had an apology to make.

Quinn stood up from her place next to Rachel and instead she knelt down in from of the girl, looking up into those eyes, those deep brown eyes that currently swam with tears. She took both of Rachel's hand in her, getting the girl to focus on her.

"Rachel, I'm so, so sorry." She began, feel an whirlwind of emotion stir inside her, emotion that she had keep bottled up for almost two years.

Rachel was about to speak, probably to brush Quinn's apology off, probably to say that it wasn't her fault that her fathers weren't here.

"I'm not talking about that." Quinn cut her off.

"I'm talking about yesterday, about what I said. If I had known Rachel, then I never- I wouldn't have-"

Quinn took a deep breath. She had to get this out. She had to apologise. And Quinn thought that if she was apologising for yesterday she may as well go all out.

"And not just for yesterday Rachel. For everything. For every insult and comment and laugh and- fuck- and every fucking slushy." Quinn said and she had to force back the tears that had threatened to spill out.

Quinn gripped onto Rachel's hands so tightly that it could have been painful. She hoped that Rachel could forgive her, somehow. She knew that she wouldn't forgive herself but Rachel, Rachel was a better person, the best person, ever. At least in Quinn's eyes. If anyone could forgive her it would be Rachel.

"I know it doesn't make up for anything but I am sorry." She knew it wasn't enough. Rachel may believe the best in everyone, she may take words at face value but Quinn believed in actions. Words were hollow and empty, anyone could say the right words but not everyone actually mean't them.

"I will make it up to you if you give me the chance." Quinn tried to force all of her determination but her voice still ended up small and fearful. What if Rachel didn't want her around? What if Rachel truly couldn't forgive her?

"Yesterday, I didn't mean to say what I said Rachel. I want to ask you if we could hang out sometime this summer, I wanted to ask if you'd give me the chance to apologise. I want to accept your friendship." At the confession Rachel looked shock, stunned even, and Quinn couldn't deny that it hurt at little but Quinn knew she deserved it.

"I don't know why I said what I said. I just- I got scared. Scared of...how people would see me. It's just that school, its hell, it brings out the worst in everyone." Quinn admitted. She had never admitted something like that to anyone, that how people see her terrified her. That she needed people to fear the HBIC, that people needed to respect and look up to head cheerleader Quinn Fabray. She needed to be that person inside that school.

But this was Rachel. The girl she loved, was in love with. And Rachel had been honest with her so Quinn thought that Rachel deserved that honesty returned. No matter how much it terrified her. No matter how scary it was that someone knew her deepest insecurity. That Quinn Fabray cared what people thought of her.

"Please, please, give me a chance."

Even as she was on her knees something inside Quinn rebelled. Something within her told her that she shouldn't be the one begging for friendship, that Rachel should be the one who should want to be friends with her. But she squashed that feeling down with everything she had.

She stared up into Rachel's doe eyes, feeling fear of rejection. She had never feared rejection like this.

A expression of pure nothingness passed over Rachel's face and Quinn felt her panic spike. A moment passed where Quinn thought that she wouldn't be able to breath even if she tried.

Then a smile broke out on Rachel's face. Not her Rachel berry show smile. Not her better than you smile. It was soft and sincere, just a gentle curve of her lips and it sent Quinn's heart racing. She engraved that image into her mind permanently.

"I'd love to be friends Quinn."

Quinn's smile could have split her face in half. She didn't think she'd ever smiled like this. But then again no moment had ever made her happier than this one. The moment she and Rachel Berry became friends. And even though it wasn't exactly what she wanted it was one step closer. They had gone from moral enemies to tentative friends, and that was more than Quinn could have ever hoped for.

It gave her hope, hope that someday she could be something more to Rachel.

And it also scared her, that was normal for Quinn but this was a new level of scared. She had so much more to lose compared to Rachel. If this didn't work out she had lost Rachel, the love of her life. She have everything to lose but so, so much to gain.

"Since we're friends now, would you like to spend the day here? We can watch some movies or something." Rachel asked.

Quinn could see the insecurity in the girls eyes, as if she didn't know if she could ask that question, as if she didn't know if she wouldn't just be laughed at, as if there was still a chance this was all one big joke.

And it hurt. But, again, Quinn knew she deserved it, she deserved Rachel's hesitance. She knew that Rachel wouldn't fully trust her, not right away. She may forgive her but that doesn't mean they were instantly best friends. Quinn knew this would take time but that didn't mean it hurt any less when she got that look. That look that said i'm just waiting for you to spit in my face.

"Sure i'd love to hang out Rachel." Quinn said and the smile that lit up the girls face was worth the pain her previous look had caused.

Rachel got up and walked over to some cabinets, opening when up to reveal row after row of DVDs.

"What would you like to watch? I'm sure you'll be able to find something in my collection." Rachel said, looking proudly over the selection of DVDs that Quinn was sure were organised in some way.

Quinn made her way over to when Rachel was and knelt down beside her, pretending to look over the DVDs when she knew exactly what she wanted to watch.

"If you're looking for something specific they're alphabetized." Rachel offered after Quinn had spent a moment looking over the selection.

"Of course they are." Quinn said with a small laugh, hoping that Rachel knew she was only teasing her.

"It's helpful Quinn. If you don't appreciate my organising skills i'm afraid this friendships wont work out." Rachel said back in a playful voice and Quinn mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

Quinn smiled as she ran her hand along the spines towards the letter F and stopped when she found the movie that she wanted. She slid the DVD out of its place and held it out for Rachel to take.

Rachel's smile, that sparkle of happiness in her eyes, as she took the Funny Girl case from Quinn was exactly what she had been going for. It caused Quinn's heart to beat faster in her chest, cause her blood to rush through her veins, caused each and everyone one of her nerve endings to come to life, crackling with excitement.

Quinn watched as Rachel placed the disc in the DVD player and then made her way to sit on the couch. Quinn made to follow but hesitated for a second not really knowing what to do.

She wanted to sit next to Rachel, but she thought that maybe that was pushing her luck slightly. She thought that Rachel might not be exactly comfortable with Quinn sitting right beside her and Quinn couldn't blame her, Rachel was probably still waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Quinn to pull a cup full of slushy from somewhere. Judging by the stiff way with Rachel was sitting, her back straight and feet firmly planted on the floor, Quinn thought it was best if she played it safe at that moment.

But Quinn didn't want to sit on the chair next to the couch, thinking that maybe Rachel would take that as a sight Quinn didn't want to be near her. Quinn didn't want to do anything that would cause Rachel insecurities, that Quinn was certain she would have, to rise to the surface and cause Rachel to do something like kick her out.

Quinn wanted to sigh. This was way too complicated and all she was doing was trying to decide where to sit. But then she realised if she wasn't such a coward then she wouldn't be in this position.

She decided to go halfway, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. She realised she had made the right decision when Rachel's body relaxed and she smiled slightly.

Quinn lifted her legs up on the couch and turned her body, leaning back against the arm rest. She took a moment to look at Rachel, watching the way the girl relax further and further as the seconds pasted and Quinn couldn't help that her smile grew. The girl had pulled a small foot stool from somewhere and was now leaning back into the cushions with her feet up.

Quinn realised that this was probably the most relaxed she had even seen the girl and Quinn would admit that coupled with the fact that she was obviously excited for the movie the girl look adorable. Rachel was never this relaxed, not in school where she was always just waiting for the next insult or slushy to fly her way. Not even in glee where it seemed she had to fight tooth and nail against everyone, including Shue, just to keep her place in the club. A club that she did everything for and was the only reason they had gotten anywhere. It really wasn't fair in Quinn's eyes.

Quinn had a feeling that Rachel hadn't even been truly relaxed in her own home, after all time alone is only relaxing when you're actually taking a break from other people. When you're on your own all the time its just depressing.

"Have you seen this movie Quinn?" Rachel said, breaking Quinn out of her thoughts.

"No." Quinn lied. She couldn't exactly say that yes, she had watch it, purely because she knew it was Rachel's favourite musical. Anyway that created a perfect opportunity for Quinn, she didn't have to pay attention to the movie and she could allow herself to get...distracted while still making it seem like she had been paying attention should Rachel ask her anything after the movie.

"Well then Quinn, you are in for a treat. Barbara is positively fantastic." Rachel said and Quinn could easily hear the excitement in the girls voice.

Really it was perfect. Rachel would be happy, watching her favourite movie and Quinn would be happy, watching her favourite person.

And Quinn did exactly that. For the first five, maybe ten minutes she paid half hearted attention to movie before she decide there was use fighting it. Her gaze drifted over to Rachel, her head rested on her drawn up knees. Thankfully Rachel was to enraptured by the movie that she didn't even notice Quinn's unabashed stares.

Quinn relished in this chance. The chance to just look at the girl she loved. Vaguely, somewhere in the back of her mind, she realised she was being slightly creepy, but she couldn't really care at that moment. She had denied herself something as basic as just looking at Rachel for three whole years and now she was just making up for lost time.

She watched the way Rachel's eyes seemed to light up every time something happened in the movie, the way her lips moved subtly, mouthing the words along with the movie. She watched the girl laugh as something funny happened, a sound that was music to Quinn's ears. She watch the way the girls head tilted back slightly and her chest rumbled with laughter.

Quinn thought that she could have died in that moment and she would be totally fine with it.

Half way through the movie Quinn heard a light beep. Thinking it was her phone for a second her eyes were dragged away from the Rachel while she reached into her pocket to grab it.

When she lifted the phone to her face she realised that she hadn't gotten a text. She looked back up to Rachel who had apparently been thinking the same thing as she was staring at Quinn expectantly.

"It wasn't me." Quinn said.

For a second Rachel looked confused, obviously frustrated at not knowing the source of the noise. For a moment she just thought, an concentrated look on her face with just a hint of that frustration. Quinn couldn't help but think she looked adorable, again.

"Oh!" Realisation passed over Rachel's face and she sprung up out of her place on the couch, making her way across the room and picking up her phone from one of the sideboards.

"I got a text." She said, soundly utterly confused over the whole concept. Quinn realised that Rachel probably didn't get too many texts and she felt a pang of guilt.

"Who's it from." Quinn asked, mostly trying to distracted herself from the churning of her own stomach.

"Santana." The way Rachel said it made Quinn think even she didn't believe it.

"Santana Lopez?" Quinn asked.

"Surprisingly, yes. I'd say it was more likely that some Santana I don't even know texted me than Santana Lopez."

"Probably." Quinn muttered. Inside she was praying for it not to be a string of insults from the fiery latina. If it was she knew she would have to defend Rachel and put Santana in her place, after all how could she not when just this morning she was begging for the chance to make it up to her. If she was being honest it was just a situation she wanted to avoid entirely.

Santana and her had been friends for a long time and if she thought something was up, started looking for specific things, Quinn was sure she would be found out. And that just wasn't something she wanted. Not right now.

"What's it say?" Quinn asked, deciding that she probably shouldn't just look over Rachel's shoulder at the text.

"Berry, I heard what happened with Finnocence and I gotta say i'm glad you finally grew a pair. I hate to admit it but you've earn some respect berry, be grateful. Anyways you and Frankenteen was creepy, he's way to tall and you're small, it was just weird. You deserved better than him away." Rachel said, relaying the text to Quinn and once she was done she just stared down at her phone in disbelief for a moment before a smile over took her face. Quinn couldn't help her own smile at the sight of Rachel so happy.

"Our Santana said that?" Quinn asked with a small chuckle.

"I know. Maybe someone stole her phone?" Rachel said and Quinn hated that a small part of Rachel probably actually thought it was true.

But then her phone beeped again.

"And if you tell anyone about that last message, i'll cut you...oops." Rachel said looking up at Quinn.

Quinn only laughed, knowing that Santana's threat wasn't serious. At least she didn't think it was, and if it was she would have to deal with her anyway.

"There's the Santana we know and...hate. At least we know it's actually her now." Rachel's smile returned at Quinn's words and Quinn wanted to pat herself on the back for a job well done.

Rachel put her phone away and grabbed the tv remote, playing the movie. Quinn resumed her act of just watching Rachel but her thought fluttered back to the text that Santana had sent.

She couldn't believe that Santana had said Rachel deserved more. Not that she thought it wasn't true, because it was. She just couldn't believe Santana had admitted it, to Rachel's face too. Well not exactly to her face but still, too her.

She knew from years of being best friends with the latina that Santana could be kind, in her own way, usually behind the scenes were no one could see here. But for her to be kind to Rachel, it made Quinn wonder if something was wrong with her.

Santana sat on the couch in her living room, watching a couple drops of rain lazily make their way down the window, tracing the trail of water they left behind before their inevitably hit the windowsill and pooled there.

Its going to rain Was the only thought that pass through her mind.

She was happy about that. She loved the rain, loved the way the trees swayed in harsh wind, the sound of branches rustling loudly accompanied by the sound of rain pounding down on the earth. She loved lightning and thunder and could only hope that there was some later.

All in all she loved the chaos of nature. She loved the way it could be sunny and bright one moment then a relentlessly storm the next. She loved the way it raged on and on without a care for anyone.

It reminded her of herself, in a way.

She was calm on the surface but there was always a storm raging just beneath her skin.

Right now the storm felt like a thousand tornadoes running rampant throughout her mind, destroying every coherent thought in their wake until her mind was just a blanket, a wasteland of nothing.

Another reason she loved storms was because how loud they were, how they covered the sky, engulfing it whole. It consumed everything for the time while it raged on and Santana couldn't help but feel small underneath grey, stormy skies that crackled brilliantly with vivid streaks of lightning.

She liked feeling small, because when she felt small her worries felt small. When she was faced with an enormous slap of thunder how could she worry about the whispers of a few ignorant people? When she saw a fork of lightning strike defiantly from the sky, seemingly straight at her, how could she worry about the looks she would get from random people she would never care about?

When faced with a the wrath of nature she felt like her problems where stupid but as soon as the storm around her calmed the storm inside her kicked up again.

She forced her eyes away from the window and down to her phone which was still in her hand. She re-read the text she had just sent Rachel Berry and wondered what possessed her to send it in the first place.

She chalked it up to boredom but if she was being more honest with herself she would realise that she was just lonely.

Usually when she was this bored she would just go see Brittany. But she couldn't do that now, literally. Britt had decided to go on a holiday with the transformer and his family and they left tomorrow.

Santana felt annoyed about that. Not jealousy, annoyance. And that caused her to pause. She knew she shouldn't feel jealous because...well, Wheels was Britt's boyfriend, obviously they were going to spend time together. But Santana was known for her jealously over what she considered hers.

Maybe she didn't consider Britt to be her. Not anymore, not with how much she messed up. She just couldn't see it working with the girl. But maybe Santana didn't really want Brittany. Maybe it wasn't the thought of not having Brittany and maybe it just the thought of having no one that hurt.

Santana hated the way her stomach churned with loneliness. She hated the way she just wanted someone, she hated the panic that she felt and the worry and she just hated feeling. She hated feeling so much.

She realised now why she had clung to Brittany so desperately. Because she trusted Brittany, not because of all the time they had been friends but simply because of the way she looked at the world.

Brittany didn't see the world like most people. When she looked at a person, that was all she saw, that person. She didn't think about what being around that person mean't, what other people would think. Santana had trusted Brittany to be a person that wouldn't judge her, trusted her to be the only person to see past the fact that she was attracted to girls and just see her.

Rachel wouldn't judge me.

The thought was in her head before she could stop it and no matter how much she hated the fact that she even thought it and the feeling that flared to life because of it, she couldn't deny how true it was.

Rachel Berry was an amazingly good person. Even Santana could admit that, at least, in her own head she could. Rachel was too nice for her own good, blindly seeing the best in everyone where as Santana had always looked for the worst.

She knew, with absolute certainty, that Rachel Berry wouldn't care about her sexuality. After all the girl had two gay dads that she loved more than anything.

Maybe, if she hadn't been such a bitch to the girl, she could have found a good friend in the Diva. Santana would be the last to admit it but even so she knew that the girl had mellowed out slightly over time. She was still enough to be Rachel Berry but just, less annoying. The girl still fought for solo's but not like her life depended on it, even though Santana knew she deserved them really. If there was one thing Santana couldn't deny it would that the girl could sing, better than anyone in glee, better than anyone the latina had ever heard.

A loud clap of thunder brought her out of her thoughts and she was uncomfortably aware that she had just spent a long amount of time, too long, thinking about Rachel Berry. And now that she had been brought out of her thoughts she could feel the way her heart stung with want, loneliness, pain, hurt, everything she didn't want to feel.

She didn't want to feel any of this. She didn't want to feel the need to go see Rachel Berry of all people. She knew that it was just because she was lonely, that she would take anyone right now but she couldn't help think that Rachel Berry would be a pretty damn good friend to have right now.

She just didn't wanted to feel this right now, maybe not ever.

Her first thought was to go see Puck. But she instantly shook it away. She didn't want him seeing her when she felt this vulnerable.

So she did the next best thing.

Making her way thought to the dinning room, she started rummaging around the liquor cabinet that rest against the far wall. She pulled out a half full bottle of Jack Daniels and made her way back to her spot of the couch. She wrapped herself into a blanket and took a large swing of the drink.

She let out a content sigh as she felt the alcohol burn a trail down her though and warm her stomach. She leant back against the arm of her couch, already feeling the effect of her drink, its warmth spreading through her while also numbing her, getting rid of the things that she desperately didn't want to feel.

She sat and stared out of the window, bottle in had, taking drinks from it every now and again. She watched the way the water beat against the window, blurring the images behind it. She watched the ways the trees swayed through the massive window in her front room, although not as violently as she wished. She listened with rapt attention as a clap of thunder practically shook the house.

She listened and watch and everything else just faded into nothing. Her loneliness and pain, her strange want for Berry's company, everything. Until she just sat there, staring blankly out of the window.

Moments seemed to stretch and blend into one, melding into infinity until everything seemed like one continuous moment. She could have been sat there for mere minutes, or it could have been days but Santana didn't really care.

Eventually everything faded into blackness and she was only awoken by the quiet chirp of her phone.

She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked around for a moment, realising that she was still in her living room and that she must have fell asleep. She noticed the bottle on the floor with just a slither of liquid resting at the bottle which she quickly picked up and downed.

She stood up on shaky legs and stumbled her way over to get her phone and then stumbled back and flopping down on the couch.

She opened the text from her dad.

Papí:

Sorry about this mija but I've got to stay late at the hospital again. You can stay at home or maybe go to a friends if you want. Don't do anything stupid ;)

Santana just smirked slightly at that last part. Technically she had already done something slightly stupid but she didn't think that counted since it occurred before the warning.

She was about to throw the phone to the side when it beep again in her hands.

Quinn:

San, I kinda need a favour. Come meet me at Rachel's house, I'll explain when you get here.

It was a mixed of curiosity, leftover loneliness from earlier and even more curiosity that got her to decided to go see what Quinn wanted.

Santana practically leapt from her place on the couch, grabbed her house keys and a jacket, shrugging it on. She opened the door and made her way outside, turning around to lock it which took a bit of effort considering her slightly drunk state.

She eyed her car for a moment before deciding it was best if she didn't and started walking, one hand buried in the pocket of her leather jacket, the other holding her phone to her face.

To Quinn:

On my way, be there in 15.

Santana shoved her phone in her pocket and picked up the pace slightly, pulling her jacket tighter around her body. After just a few steps her phone buzzed again and with a sigh she brought it to her eyes.

Quinn:

15minutes? It's like a five minute drive from your house.

Santana just sighed. Carefully pressing the keys she wanted she typed her message out to Quinn.

To Quinn:

I'm walking. I'm kinda...wasted.

The reply was instant.

Quinn:

Maybe you shouldn't come over. I don't want to saying anything to Rachel.

Santana scowled at her phone. She took that to mean that Quinn thought she was going to fling some insults at Berry as soon as she got in sight of her. When did Quinn start caring about what was said to the Diva anyway?

To Quinn:

I'm only a little drunk. Anyway you know I get like all nice n shit when I drink. I hate it, it's disgusting.

She shivered at the thought of some of the videos she had seen of herself when she was drunk. When she drunk she tended to get a bit...affectionate and said some stuff that she really didn't want anyone to hear. She can usually pass it off as just being drunk but a few people, namely Quinn and Brittany, knew that it wasn't that.

Quinn:

When you say nice you meant truthful.

Santana knew that Quinn wouldn't be able to resist calling her on it.

"Bitch." She half muttered, half slurred angrily down at her phone.

To Quinn:

Shut up. I'll be there in ten.

And to her surprise Quinn did. She didn't get another message and so she relaxed slightly, enjoying her walk. Every now and again she stumbled and one time she had actually fallen into someone's hedge but no one would ever know so Santana didn't care much.

Eventually Rachel's house came into view and Santana stumbled drunkly forward towards the house. She got to the door and she stared at it for a moment, trying to remember what you were suppose to do at one of these things.

After a moment she remembered and banged on it a few times, a bit too loudly.

She could hear shuffling and the door opened to reveal a annoyed looking Quinn.

And it was like a damn had burst inside Santana and she couldn't control her own words.

"Q!" She said happily, moving forward to capture the girl in a tight hug, resting her head in the crook of Quinn's neck.

"I thought you said you were only a little drunk." Quinn said exasperatedly, but returning the girls hug none the less. She knew that if she didn't Santana would probably just accuse her of not liking her and start crying.

"I lied!" She said, pulling pack and smiling at the girl.

Quinn just sighed and shook her head.

Suddenly Santana's face grew serious and Quinn met the girls eyes, staying silent and waiting for whatever Santana had to say.

She remembered something that she had thought about earlier, and realising she didn't think about Quinn in that moment. She and Quinn may not always be so buddy-buddy but they had each others backs when it really matter. Santana needed to know if the girl would have her back when it matter the most.

"You don't hate me because i'm gay do you Q?" Santana said and she could see the surprising on Quinn's face.

"No. San, no of course not." Quinn said, genuine care and concern shimmering in her eyes, and Santana felt relief flood through her body. She quickly pulled the girl in front of her into a bone crushing hug.

"Thanks Q, Because...because we've been friends for a long time and- and I dunno what i'd do with out you." She said, her voice quivering with emotion as she held back the tears that threatened to spill over.

She felt Quinn's hand rubbing her back in a comforting manner and she took a few moment to soak up the hug. She took a deep breath to compose herself, feeling the chill from outside shoot through her lungs and helping her to control her emotions.

When she raised her head she caught sight of a curious Rachel Berry. She shoved gently past Quinn.

"Berry." She said, making her way up to the girl who seemed to flinch slightly under her gaze even thought Santana held no ill emotion towards the girl. Not in that moment anyway.

Santana stood for a moment in front of an uncomfortable Rachel and stared down at the girl, an unidentifiable look in her eyes. A tense moment pass when nothing happened and then Santana started to feeling slightly embarrassed at the words she knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself from saying.

Santana's eyes dropped to the floor, darting to Quinn who just raised an eyebrow, Santana not noticing the phone in the her hand and the amused smile on her lips at that moment. She met the smaller girls eyes.

"You don't, y'know...hate me because I'm gay do you Rachel?" Santana said and Rachel seemed to soften at the girls insecure tone of voice.

She just flash a soft smile.

"Of course not Santana." Rachel said and Santana felt the same relief flood though her body.

She launched herself at the other girl, rapping her arms loosely around the girls neck. She heard Quinn giggle slightly behind her but she didn't pay attention in her drunken state. The girl against her was stiff for a moment before she melted into the hug and her arms snaked around the latina's waist, sighing as she rested her head on the girls shoulder.

"I knew it." Santana breathed with a smile as she pulled away from the girl but kept her arms on the girls shoulder, holding her at arms length.

"Your way to nice for your own good Berry. I wish I wasn't always such a bitch to you. I'm...sorry, I guess." Her words trailed off, getting quieter and quieter as she felt more and more nervous, thinking that Rachel might just throw this odd show of kindness back in her face. Most people would have.

For a moment Rachel seemed entirely shell shocked, just staring up at Santana with a blank expression on her face. The moment seemed to last so long that Santana was worried that she broken the girl.

"Thank you Santana. I forgive you." Rachel said with a small smile. She met the girls eyes and felt herself being drawn in by deep brown eyes that shone with a unbelievable amount of care and just a hint of amusement. She felt like her breath had been sucked forcefully from her lungs but she ignored the burning in her chest and pulled the girl into another hug.

The embrace last a few seconds before Santana felt the need to pull away.

She spun around, quiet suddenly and she spotted the couch. Suddenly she seemed to realise just how tired she was and she moved forward and practically jumped down into the comfort and warmth it held.

She barely recognised the faces of Quinn and Rachel but she gave them a grin anyway as her vision faded to black, tiredness overcoming her.

Sorry 'bout any mistakes, I'll probably check it again in the morning, but what can i say, i'm lazy. Something you've probably figured out after the random three month gap in updates. Sorry again 'bout that, can't make any promises it wont happen again tho.