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Are you my ally or my enemy?
Do you have self-loathing or empathy?
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On the first of May, Severus's Mark burned once again, summoning the Dark Lord...
...To Hogwarts.
Potter was here. Potter had come back to the castle. Albus had not mentioned a thing about it, but something about the boy's arrival felt final. Severus hadn't seen the Dark Lord's snake in a while-possibly it was already under protection?
He calmly stood from his desk and turned to the portraits. "I have business that needs attending," he told them, and left his office.
He went calmly down the spiral staircase, but his heart thundered madly. He alternated between panicked thoughts-how was he going to accomplish his goal?-the boy was here?-and focusing entirely on maintaining a calm exterior.
He could not calm his thoughts. Potter must die...Potter must not fight the Dark Lord...Potter must believe me when I tell him...how do I get Potter alone?
He could not formulate a plan. He focused on putting one foot in front of the other. He made for the Ravenclaw common room. Why would Potter go there? he wondered. To find the lost diadem of Ravenclaw, of course! He chuckled a bit, hysterically, before he focused again on projecting calm.
With any luck, Severus would be dead by the end of night, and Potter would be dead not long after. But for Potter to die properly, Severus had to tell him before he died himself. It was the only reason he'd been maintaining this farce for almost an entire year. He could not fail now.
He forced himself to stop walking. He put his hand against the cold stone wall of the empty corridor and took several deep breaths. Finally, finally, he was able to Occlude.
Right, then. The mission.
Before he could resume his course toward the Ravenclaw common room, he heard someone walking toward him. He ducked back into an alcove and saw Professor McGonagall pass him, apparently alone. He moved to follow, but she heard him and spun around with her wand raised.
"Who's there?" she said.
He didn't even consider remaining hidden. He needed Professor McGonagall's-Minerva's-help. "It is I," he said, as he emerged with his wand drawn defensively. "Where are the Carrows?" He couldn't speak freely if they were anywhere near.
"Wherever you told them to be, I expect, Severus," she said.
At least one of them had been in the Ravenclaw common room, and Severus hadn't told them to be there. Had the Dark Lord issued instructions to the Carrows without using Severus as an intermediary? Did the Dark Lord not trust Severus?
But more importantly, Professor-Minerva-was coming from the Ravenclaw common room, and she didn't seem to be too concerned that she'd been followed. Potter must be with her. He looked around, as if he could sense anything under that damned Invisibility Cloak.
"I was under the impression that Alecto had apprehended an intruder," he said.
"Really?" she replied smoothly. "And what gave you that impression?"
He didn't think he reacted, but she glanced down at his arm all the same.
"Oh, but naturally," Minerva said, "you Death Eaters have your own private means of communication, I forgot."
I'm not one of them, you have to trust me. He was sure that statement would work wonders. The only people who would be stupid enough to believe it would be the Carrows, and they would murder him immediately if they ever heard him say it.
Instead, he said, "I did not know that it was your night to patrol the corridors, Minerva." Minerva, he thought desperately. It's me. How often had they complained to each other about nightly patrols, each vowing to do the bare minimum?
She didn't notice his code. "You have some objection?" she replied, focusing on his words, not his meaning.
He played along for a bit, but then gambled everything. "Have you seen Harry Potter, Minerva?" Minerva, it's me, Severus, he thought again-but Minerva had never made the distinction between Severus and Professor Snape. "Because if you have, I must insist-"
But she attacked before he could finish the thought. He was forced to cast a hasty shield, but she attacked again and again. He wasn't sure if he would have wanted to cast an offensive charm against her, but he didn't even get the chance. Her anger made her too quick.
And that was before Filius and Pomona came running in to join the fight.
There was nothing for it; he ran. He ran into a classroom and jumped out a window and flew away.
That could have gone better.
He made his way to the Dark Lord's side-a foolish move, but his only other options were more foolish. The Dark Lord was not pleased at his arrival, but as Severus knew more about the castle than any other Death Eater, his information, at least, was welcome. Severus told the Dark Lord that a direct attack on the castle would be the most effective. It was an absolute lie, but since the Dark Lord expected to hear it, Severus had no qualms saying it. His reward for the information was to lead the charge of one of the main flanks on the south side of the castle.
When the battle commenced, Severus threw elaborately mimed Cumpleaños Charms at the castle. If he managed to hit anyone, he would know their birthday. It was the most innocuous spell he could think of. Hogwarts itself seemed to agree with him, as one or two of the charms made it through the castle wards. He managed to hit on someone born on 28 August, and another on 14 June. A Virgo and a Gemini, he thought wildly-two signs more likely to be adept at potions-and kept up the show of furious spellcasting.
When the acromantulas entered the battle, most of the people fighting on Severus's side of the castle split off. Hogwarts had been breached on one side, and Severus joined those throwing spells at the gaping hole where part of the western wall had been. He continued to throw the Cumpleaños Charm, but surreptitiously cast mild Confusion Hexes at the Death Eaters around him.
His breath caught when his Cumpleaños Charm hit someone born on 31 July. A Leo, he tried to tell himself. Traditionally terrible with potions. Unlikely to be Harry Potter, really.
But it did narrow down the possibilities.
He still did not yet have a concrete plan for how to break the news to the boy. He knew that when he told Potter, he couldn't be subtle and he couldn't hold back. He had vague ideas of Potter using Legilimency, which was obviously just a dream of Severus's. But it would simplify Severus's life, which was why it wouldn't happen.
The battle raged on, and even though Severus had to resort to several different shields to repel attacks, and even though several Death Eaters fell around him, it was still obvious that the Death Eaters had the upper hand. Severus started to throw Strengthening Charms at the castle walls.
Dumbledore and his stupid plans. Severus could not see the old man's endgame working. What would happen if Potter fought the Dark Lord-would the Dark Lord kill him and then be invincible? And yet, somehow, if Potter didn't fight the Dark Lord, then the Dark Lord would kill him and then anyone could defeat him?
He must be missing something, but as he was in the middle of a fucking battle for world dominance, Severus didn't have time to examine the problem thoroughly. He supposed the answer was magic. Besides, Dumbledore had staked Severus's life on his theory. All Severus had to do was convince the boy. Well-he did have to find the boy first.
And then Lucius Malfoy appeared at his side, and told him the Dark Lord had requested his presence in the Shrieking Shack.
The Shrieking Shack. It wasn't his favorite place and he'd rather not set foot in it again. But Severus had given up his choice in the matter long ago. He abandoned the battle and went where he was bid.
It was almost a relief when he arrived and that fucking snake was contained in a magical cage. If he could just find Potter, now...everything would be over soon.
But for some reason he couldn't fathom, the Dark Lord was talking about his wand, and how two wands had failed him previously. "I sought a third wand, Severus," he said. "The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore."
Severus felt the words like a punch in the gut. He buried everything under his Occlumency almost instantly, but he still registered the thoughts.
The Elder Wand. The actual Elder Wand. So the Dark Lord would most likely succeed when he next made an attempt on Harry Potter's life.
The Elder Wand. Dumbledore had never told him; Severus had never suspected. And yet Albus must have known it would come to this.
The Elder Wand. Wasn't it reputed to pass from owner to owner by way of murder? If so...in that case...shouldn't the wand answer to Severus?
Severus banished all of these thoughts. Aside from everything that Dumbledore had concealed, Severus still had a job to do. "My Lord-let me go to the boy-"
He was beginning to suspect he wouldn't get the chance. The Dark Lord was surely only telling Severus this story for one reason...
And they were in the Shrieking Shack, which never boded well for Severus...
And Severus would welcome his death, but for the one thing he had left to do.
"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine."
"My Lord!" Severus said, raising his own wand in the vain hope that he could prevent what would surely follow. Where was Potter?
"It cannot be any other way. I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."
Severus had told exactly no one of Dumbledore's final plan. If he died without fulfilling his promise-without telling Potter-then everything-everything-he had done would be in vain. The Dark Lord would be victorious. Lily would have died for nothing. He would have murdered Dumbledore for nothing.
There was a moment after the Dark Lord flicked his wand and nothing happened-Severus drew in a breath-and he thought that maybe he'd been granted a reprieve long enough that he could tell Potter-but then the snake-that damned snake-floated over in its clear cage and bit him, ruthlessly, on the neck.
Severus couldn't stop it.
It hurt, oh Merlin, it hurt. He had blood-replenishing potions in his pockets-healing potions-Pepper-Up-but his hands didn't seem to be working. He was lying on the ground-when did he fall to the ground? He gasped, and realized that the Dark Lord was gone. Someone was in front of him, though, and he tried to focus his eyes...
Potter. It was an impossible coincidence, which was only to be expected of the boy. Severus almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, but all he managed to do was grab on to Potter's robes.
He would die soon, very soon. All he had to do was bare his soul completely to the son of his tormentor, and the son of his first true friend, the only person he'd ever loved. He would bare his soul and Potter would be left to bear the burden, then Severus could die and then Potter would die. Whatever happened after that, neither of them would live with the consequences.
He felt his memories leaving him, spilling out, telling his story, explaining his motives, explaining Potter's fate.
"Take...it...take...it..." he said, because the boy didn't seem to know what Severus was giving him.
"Look...at...me..." He wondered what he'd see in Potter's eyes. Would the boy be able to do what was asked of him? Could he confront the Dark Lord, without a wand, without a hope for a future-could he sacrifice himself, could he accept the fate that had been thrust upon him as an infant?
Potter looked at him, and Severus had his answer. The boy's eyes-so much like Lily's-were full of empathy.
Empathy for Severus Snape. Not even Lily had ever looked at him like that.
And Severus slipped into the darkness.
END NOTES: So, from here on out, it's choose your own ending: click on the next chapter, and you'll have a canon-compliant ending. If canon is not your cup of tea, then read the next story in the series, "Third Time's a Charm."