Chapter 2

Peeta's POV

I wake up to see Haymitch, and I wonder how he got to heaven. It looks like he's been waiting for me.

He smiles when he sees me, and places a hand on my arm. My arm is full of tubes. Must not be heaven after all. Katniss! If I'm here, I must not have been able to save Katniss.

Haymitch runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath.

"Peeta, we're on our way to District 13."

District 13, there is no District 13, we all know that it was decimated back in the Dark Days. But he continues, "we've got Finnick and Beetee, but I'm sorry kid, we couldn't save the girl." I let out an anguished cry and start removing my IV's, there is no life for me without her. Someone walks up and injects me with something. Darkness decends again.

This cycle continues several times, me removing my IV's, someone injecting me, darkness, but this time is different. I wake up in a windowless room, on a hospital bed, but there are no tubes to remove. After a few moments, Haymitch comes strolling in. Why won't he let me die?

"Peeta, I need you to stay with me. This is not the time for hysterics; not if you want to save the girl."

This has got my attention.

"Rumor has it that the Capitol has Katniss. There is no proof, yet, but there is a lot of buzz. Let's get you settled in, and see what we can find out."

I cautiously sit up, and find that I've regained full motor function. I follow Haymitch down the halls. Judging from the lack of windows, except for the skylights at the top of the main corridor, we must be underground. It is a sea of grey. The walls are grey, the ceilings are grey, everybody wears grey. My fingers twitch for my paintbrush, these large expanses of wall make me long for a canvas. I could do so much to fill the walls with life. Finally, I know what I must ask Haymitch.

"Why are we here? Why didn't we just go back home?"

Haymitch lets out a long sigh before running his fingers through his hair. He leads me into a small L shaped room with two narrow beds, a sink, and a small door that leads to a toilet and shower on one side, and a couch with a coffee table, and a small space that looks as though it may be used to hold an extra bed, on the other. Four eyebolts in the wall above each of the beds draw my curiosity. I look at Haymitch, and he points to the bed that holds a grey outfit, indicating it as mine, and waits for me to take a seat.

"There is no District 12. As soon as Katniss sent that arrow into the force field, they cut the power to District 12. Some kid rounded up as many people as he could and brought them to the woods that surrounded District 12, but there wasn't much time, and people weren't keen to follow." He takes a breath, giving the information time to sink in. "Peeta, I'm sorry, but your family didn't make it. Very few people from town did."

I nod in acknowledgement, and he slips out of the room leaving me to grieve. Since the last Hunger Games, I wasn't as close to my family, but it still feels like my heart has been ripped out. The woman I love, who finally returned my feelings, has been ripped from me, once again. She was my family, and my only peaceful dreams involve her, wrapped in my arms, I would dream of the future we might have together, sometimes building a family of our own. Now, I find out that I'll never see my parents and brothers again. My father's twinkling eyes dancing as he laughs, my brothers merciless teasing, the hope that someday my mother would find the happiness that she so desperately seeks, possibly in the grandchildren. I cry until no more tears come out, and exhaustion overtakes me.

Haymitch. This is not the face I wanted to wake up to, but there he is in the bed across the divide, staring at me.

"Finally, you're awake."

I stare at him quizzically. My stomach growls and he lets out a chuckle.

"You're wasting away to nothing, kid. Come on, lets go get some breakfast."

He places an arm under a machine on the wall, and it stamps something onto his arm, indicating for me to do the same. I place my arm in, and when it releases, I see a schedule. 8 a.m. Breakfast. I look at the clock, it reads 8:30. If I were at home, the bakery would be open, my family already up for hours preparing the bread and baked goods. If I were lucky, I would be preparing the frosting as a cake cools, letting the world slip away as I spread the fluffy frosting and form delectable creations. Instead, I'm following a surly, old drunk down the halls. "Peeta!" I hear called out, and I smile as I catch Delly bounding toward me. We had been neighbors, spending our younger years playing in our yard, drawing animals in the dirt or playing school. She always wanted to be a teacher. I look around to see that many of the faces look familiar, not in a way that I would know their names, but faces I've seen walking through town, on their way to the mines, or walking children to school. I do recognize a few faces, of people I actually know. People I went to school with. The thought comforts me. Delly snaps me from my reverie. "I've got to get to class, but I'll catch up with you during reflection," she says, before she bounds off down the hall. I have to hurry to catch up with Haymitch, as he stands in a line of people who are eyeing me as though I'm some sort of curiosity. I push the discomfort down. This has been happening ever since we returned from the first Hunger Games. I watch as non-descript grey porridge is slopped into my bowl, grab a spoon, and follow Haymitch to a table in the corner.

"It isn't much, kid, but it doesn't get better if you let it get cold."

I give him a faint smile at his joke, "yeah, thanks." I take a bite. Not much might be a stretch to the food that is expanding in my mouth, no matter how much I chew it, I can't seem to swallow it. I see laughter in Haymitch's eyes, but he schools his face into one of polite boredom as he pushes me a glass of water. Even the water here tastes bad, but I don't complain. A large watch I hadn't noticed Haymitch wearing begins beeping, and he picks up his tray, signaling for me to follow. We dispose of the trays, and hurry down the hall to a staircase that takes us further and further below ground. Haymitch is practically wheezing as we exit the staircase through a large metal door, and enter a conference room of sorts. There is a woman standing at the front of the room, and I can sense that she must be in charge.

"Peeta," she says, "so nice of you to join us. I'm President Coin." She smiles and shakes my hand, but there is no warmth in her eyes, or her smile. She seems calculating, and she gazes at me as though she is measuring me up. As my eyes scan the room, I catch sight of Gale. Perfect. He is watching Coin intently as she drones on about something. I see that he is also wearing a large watch, and unlike most of the people here, he is wearing the uniform of a soldier. I lean over to Haymitch, and tersely whisper, "What is he doing here?" A hint of amusement touches the corners of his mouth as he responds, "Who do you think led people out of 12?"

His response hits me like a ton of bricks. No wonder people from town wouldn't follow him, a kid from the Seam. My mother probably ran him off with her rolling pin if he came to the door. And there's a big if. He hasn't exactly hid his disdain of Merchants, especially me.

I know he must hate me. He's in love with the same woman I am. I remember the familiar feeling of my heart being ripped from my chest every time I saw them together, hand in hand ever since right after their fathers died in the mining accident. They would sell squirrels at the back door to my father. Occasionally I would answer the door, the joy of seeing her would always be drowned in the way that he had tucked her behind him, protecting her from whatever was on the other side of the door. He would negotiate the deals, handing her the money, and then taking her hand in his, they walked away. Sometimes, I would catch glimpses of them walking home from school together, corralling his brothers and her sister like doting parents. My stomach would roil, feeling like I was looking into their future, as he swung Prim up onto his shoulders; or the time he was holding his little sister Posy, and she reached over and put her chubby arms around Katniss' neck, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. They looked natural together, forming a world that involved just the two of them. Katniss had one friend, the mayor's pretty daughter, and Gale dated girls, until Katniss turned 16, and he didn't anymore. I suspected that it was because they were dating. I saw the way that he looked at her, as though the sun rose and set on her. The only relief I got was that she seemed oblivious.

In that way, I am glad that I was in the Hunger Games. It gave me a chance to have her undivided attention, worming my way into her heart. She may have called out to save him in her nightmares, but that was nothing compared to hearing her call out my name those nights on the train, limbs tangled together, hearing her say that she loved me, waking up with her in my arms. Will I ever feel that joy again? The walls feel like they are closing in. I silently stand, and walk out. I can't remember how to get to my room, so I wander down the hall and until I find a utility closet. I sit on the edge of a mop bucket and sob, wondering how Katniss is doing.

I close my eyes, imagining her sweet face looking up at me, and I place a kiss on her lips, pulling her close, and whisper all of the things I wish I could say to her right now. I open my eyes, wipe away the tears, and head back into the room labeled COMMAND.