Chapter 8
Peeta's POV
As soon as I hear the click of the door latch, I begin assembling my paints, setting up my easel in the corner of the room. Haymitch, clearly worn out, drifts off to sleep with his shoes still on. I think this is the first time I've ever seen Haymitch sleep during somewhat normal hours, and I can't help but smile as his soft snores fill the air. With every stroke of my brush on the canvas, I feel a little closer to her, from the way her eyes sparkle, to her soft smile, to the way her ringlets fell, and the dress that was definitely Cinna's design. Without thinking, I capture the protective way that she pressed a hand to her stomach. I've always knew that she was brave, but now there's a new kind of bravery, an almost fragile strength. I work late into the night, and as the hours march on, I'm transported back to the Quarter Quell.
The horizon was just starting to glow as we sat on the damp sand, our shoulders and hips pressed against each others. She watches the jungle, while I watch the water. I feel her sigh, and lean her head against my shoulder, and I know that it's time. I run my hand down her braid...
"Katniss, it's no use pretending we don't know what the other one is trying to do." I take a deep breath, willing my breathing to steady, "I don't know what kind of deal you think you've made with Haymitch, but you should know he made me promises as well." I feel her stir beside me, but I continue, "So I think we can assume he was lying to one of us." She raises her head and looks me in the eyes.
"Why are you saying this now?", she asks, and my breath hitches as I see the little worry creases on her brow.
"Because I don't want you forgetting how different our circumstances are. If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. You're my whole life. I would never be happy again." She begins to object, but I put my finger to her lips. Doesn't she understand how hard this is for me? It's different for you. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living." I pull the medallion over my head, gathering the chain in my hand as my thumb finds the catch, opening the locket to show her what I mean. I had Effie have this made. On one side, there's Prim and her mother, and on the other side is Gale. I'm just hoping that she understands. When I die, I want her to go on living, I wish it didn't have to be this way, but wishing won't change the fact that there will only be one winner this year, and it must be her. When I see the glisten of tears well up, I know she understands what I'm saying. "Your family needs you, Katniss. No one really needs me." I inwardly cringe as I hear the self pity in my voice, but she speaks up.
"I do. I need you."
This is not the response I wanted. Under normal circumstances, these words would be my greatest joy, but now, they're only making my Herculean task harder. I draw a deep breath, needing to make her understand, when she presses her lips to mine. There is a warmth in her kiss, the kind that causes my body to react to hers, and I'm wishing that I was a little less exposed; the acid fog had ruined our Quarter Quell uniforms, leaving us in just our underwear. As if sensing my discomfort, Katniss straddles my lap, hiding the proof of my excitement. I try to speak, but each time, she just continues kissing me, until I give in to the sensations. I've missed the contact with her, the chaste nights on the victory tour, not to mention the steamy nights, and mornings, and days... Her kisses become more demanding, and I can feel her need. She reaches down and swiftly frees me through my underwear, returning her hands to my hair. She runs her hand down my arm, and moves her underwear to the side before moving her hand up my chest, crossing her wrists behind my head and drawing me to her. I feel her swiftly lift, rocking her hips and impaling herself on me. I let out a hiss of pleasure, and our mouths find each other again. I slow the pace of our kisses, my hands on her back, pulling her close as we rock our bodies together, reveling in the sensations. We move together unhurried, drawing out and savoring the moment, neither one of us wanting it to end. This is more than the joining of bodies, this is a joining of souls. I'm worrying about how much more I can take when I feel her shudder, her body clenching around me, and I lose myself as her body begins milking my release. She slumps against me, and we stay like this for quite some time, but I know that the darkness will only hide us for so much longer. I run my hand down her back, and run my finger down the inside of her underwear covering her thigh, righting it with what looks like a caress. She slides quickly returns me to my underwear as well, but we stay cuddled in this position. The sky is streaked with pinks and oranges before she moves from this position, coming to sit next to me, my arm wrapping around her as she leans her head against my chest.
"I love you," I hear her whisper.
"I love you, too." I respond before adding, "You're going to make a great mother someday." I hope that she understands my sincerity. This isn't for the benefit of the Capitol, or the viewers, or the sponsors. It's my honest desire that she feel no guilt with Gale, and allows Gale to give her a family. She'd be an exceptional mother, the perfect combination of strength and softness. Her desire to protect her children would never allow her to abandon her children as her mother did, or beat her children as my mother did. With this, I place the chain around her neck, following it down to the medallion, allowing my fingers to brush against the swell of her breast. I place another kiss on her lips, before returning my gaze to the sunset.