PP CH10

Chapter 10

Katniss' POV

I'm not sure how I got here, but I'm in my old room at the training center. Darius is here. His eyes never leave the door, as though he's guarding me from what lies beyond.

My stirring has drawn his attention, and as our eyes meet, I give him a weak smile. I hope that he understands how grateful I am for his presence. I see him tense as footsteps approach my door, and when I see him relax, I turn to see Effie's head poked through the door.

"How did I get here?" I ask.

"Darius carried you," she replies, as if it's obvious. I shake my head. Darius carrying me away from the stage is my last memory, but that's not what I mean. Since I'd arrived, I'd been in the tribute training room, handcuffed to a bed, why is it that I'm in my room, free from shackles?

"No, I mean here," gesturing to my room, and my lack of restraints.

She gathers me close, but I recoil in terror as I smell the faint odor of roses. The look of hurt on her face is clear, but she answers me gently.

"Compliments of President Snow, along with the magnificent bouquet of roses in the living room." I nod numbly, and I request that she throw out the roses; I blame it on my pregnancy.

"What happened to Johanna and Annie?" I asked.

"I'm sure they're around here somewhere..." A look of discomfort crosses her face, but I don't know what it means.

An awkward silence decends between us, and I watch her bite her lip while studiously examining the tip of her shoe. She looks back at me, giving me a warm smile, "You were so brave during your interview. I'm so proud of you," she says before leaving the room.

I don't feel brave, I don't feel anything, but the overwhelming desire to be with Peeta.

Peeta. There is nothing that I wouldn't give to be with him at this moment, to feel his strong arms around me, his breath on my hair, guarding me from the nightmares that so often plague my dreams.

I feel bereft. There is so much I wish I had told him, but it was Peeta who was gifted with words. Peeta hadn't been afraid to acknowledge his feelings, I hadn't even been willing to admit that I had feelings, aside from my love of Prim.

Prim had somehow figured out that I love Peeta, and she had urged me to tell him, before it was too late. I had been foolish, afraid that sharing my feelings would only urge his to sacrifice himself for me. At least I told him once, but I wish I had told him over and over. There are so many thoughts I wish I had shared; how thankful I was for him, how having him by my side made living as a Victor bearable, that if I were to bring a baby into this world, I couldn't imagine a better father, and countless other things I'll never get the chance to say.

Never had I imagined that I'd be without him, bringing his child into this world on my own. Peeta was supposed to be the one who made it through the Quell...

This was the one thing I knew for sure; if Peeta died in the arena, I'd die with him, but I would do everything in my power to ensure that he made it out alive.

The tears slide down my face, and I make no move to hide them, as I grieve for all of the moments we won't have him by my side. There is nothing I desire more than to be with him now.

Understanding is evident in Darius' gaze, as he comes to the side of my bed. Gently, he lifts me into his arms, cradling me as if I were a small child. There is a subtle rocking motion, and it takes a moment before I realize that he is timing it to his gait as he conveys me down the hall. I hear Effie screaming at him, but I tune it out when he stops before a door and sets me on my feet.

I take a deep breath, and smile gratefully at him before opening the door. Somehow, he knew just what I needed.