Chapter 4: Love Turned Into Betrayal, Ambition Turned to Love

"No light, no light
in your bright blue eyes
I never knew that a light could be so violent
a revelation in the light of the day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
and I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
You want a revelation. You want to get back
But it's a conversation I can't have tonight
You want a revelation some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
You want a revelation, you want to get back
but it's a conversation I can't have tonight
You want a revelation, some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say ..."
~No Light by Florence and the Machine

"I will take you down the only road
I've ever been down
You know, the one that takes you
to the places where all the ends meet, yeah."
~Bittersweet Symphony

Elizabeth was sent to Coldharbour. It was the home of her great-great grandmother, Margaret Beaufort, where she had welcomed the Queen Dowager Elizabeth Wydeville and her daughter, Elizabeth of York after her son's triumphant entrance to London. The King's mother was so excited to greet her son after fourteen long years of exile, and to present him his future bride.

Lizzie didn't know if the rumors about her namesakes were true, but she heard from some of Anne's servants, that the Princess of York had been romantically involved with her uncle, and the only reason why she agreed to marry Henry VII, was because her mother forced her and had no other choice.

'Is this what is to become of me right now as well?' She didn't realize that she said this aloud as her aunt laughed and told her to stop day dreaming. "You are not the only who's lost everything. I lost my mother and the only person I could rely on was myself."

"I know, you told me that Auntie Bess."

"Apparently I didn't tell you enough. When your mother came to me at Hatfield, I had nothing. I repeat, I had nothing. She didn't care, as long as it made her look good."

"That is not what Susan or the Duchess told me."

Bess laughed. "The Duchess felt sorry for your mother and Susan was her best friend. They would see her in a good light of course. For Susan especially, your mother was a saint but I saw her for who she was. When Kitty Howard came and genuinely gave me her friendship, did you think your lady mother thank her for that or she befriended her as well? She told me, she is the devil, she is a harlot. She was this close of saying she is a harlot like your mother, but my puppy-eyes stopped her. See, I learned at a young age dear, that tears are a woman's greatest strength and I learned through my mother's example, from what I was told by Kat Ashley -what your mother didn't want me to know- and Kitty Howard, how to be a lady and that saved me from the poor house an being pitied. Your mother however, always looked to the horizon, always thought of herself better than anyone. Who was she? She didn't have a title, nothing without our father and her reluctance to admit it, brought her a lot of pain. You think you deserve something because of who your mother was, well here is the sad news dearest niece: You don't get to have anything just because you want it. Welcome to life."

Just as Bess was about to turn and leave, she was stopped by her niece's voice. "So is that it? Just get used to it and go on with your life?"

"That is the only thing we can do. We are women dear, and without a title and marriage we are nothing."

"But you chose your husband. You didn't care what my brother or anyone said, you chose him and you are happy."

"That is true but it did cost me, far more than you can ever imagine. Your brother, King Philip, nearly executed him for it. He would have if he didn't die so suddenly and so conveniently. Your brother took the throne and he let us be. For many years though, people looked at us like we were a pair of moral deviants. Royals don't get to live happily ever after, that is the rule when you are in politics. This is the life we were born for, and we can't afford to break the rules."

"I don't believe that." Bess rolled her eyes. "And I know you don't believe it either. Search your heart, if you could do it over again, would you still marry him?"

"Of course I would. But I am not a monarch's sibling, you are and who is to say that the King didn't bed you so he could use you as a figurehead and take us all out at once? It's not unheard of you know. William was a bastard after all and even though England has never had a Queen Regnant, Matilda was this close to becoming one. You could very well be his fucking puppet."

"He loves me."

"You are really an insufferable creature." She grabbed Lizzie's hand and she flinched as her aunt dug her nails in her skin again. "I stuck by you, watched over you, and spoke for you when no one would. If it wasn't for me you would be dead now like your no good mother. I am telling you now: Grow up! He will never love you, he will use you just like my cousin used you. All men are like that, even your real father."

Lizzie's eyes turned wide. She didn't think her auntie could've known.

Bess smiled sardonically "Oh yes, I know. Mary always thought she was two steps ahead of everyone, and the ambassador too but I could see right through him, the way he looked at your mother, when she disappeared for days end. One day I couldn't resist my curiosity so I followed her. There she was, naked as the day she was born, mounted by your father."

"Henry is ..." Lizzie was about to say, her voice hard and her glare intensified, the harsh truth about her half-brother but Bess beat her to it.

"Your father's bastard? I know. I have always known ever since that night, when your mother's belly was barely showing and she was pregnant with you."

"But your support of Henry over our bro ... half-brother" she rectified "Why?"

"Because your half-brother was an imbecile. Henry was everything England always wanted in a King. Edward, God bless his soul, was too weak and too caught up in Calvinist fever, and Philip, he believed in nothing and he was weak, and cruel. And yes, my father was cruel but he didn't go to the great lengths that your half-brother Philip went. And of course your mother was too entitled and would have turned back the clock on England. Henry has been the only one in our family with my father and grandfather's strength. Perhaps you think I was wrong in lying under oath, saying that he was begotten in holy matrimony, and the true son of Philip, Duke of Bavaria and Mary Tudor, but I was right in principle because unlike the rest, I do care for my country and I will do everything to protect it." She underlined the word 'everything'. "Good waiting niece, I hope you have time to ponder on what you've done and beg God forgiveness for it." She said then let go of her hand and left.

~o~

Philip II asked everyone about where Lizzie was but no one wanted to tell him. He even threatened one of her maids who begged him to leave her alone after he drew a crowd of lesser servants. Finally, consume by his frustration, he visited the King.

Henry was even more reluctant to tell him where she went, but felt very enthusiastic about in the golden opportunity he had to mock her. "I am afraid my poor sister is gone. She said she had something very urgent to tend to. Women, right?

"Don't you dare touch me!" Philip hissed and pushed him away. "You may pretend in front of the others that you are my equal but we are not equals. I am King of Spain, Naples and other territories and what are you but the King of a small Isle?"

"Careful Your Majesty, you do not want to let your personal feelings get in the way of doing your job."

"How dare you tell me what to do cousin ... or should I call you baseborn cousin instead?" Philip grinned at this, seeing the younger man's eyes flare up. "Don't think I haven't heard the rumors concerning your mother."

Henry IX's tone became colder. "I repeat Your Majesty, you are our guest here and we have an agreement as father in law to son in law, that you will marry my daughter, joining both our Houses and putting an end to our dispute over the Portuguese crown."

As if you could ever beat me. He wanted to grab that man's throat and kill him right here and now. How stupid he was, to think he could ever bow to this man. Without him, Henry was nothing.

And with an air of pure arrogance, he told Philip as he turned his back on him "I expect you to read our agreement tomorrow morning when I give my last toast over your union with my daughter."

"No!" Philip said and when Henry didn't pay him any heed, he put his hand on his shoulder and forced him turn back to him. "This is what you will do. First, you will tell me where your sister is and then you will say that our treaty isn't broken but I have chosen a new bride and I will put the matrimonial ring on Lady Carey."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would and I will! I am King of Spain and you!" He let him go and pointed a finger at him "You are nothing but a bastard who dares to wear the color purple and act as one of his betters."

"I am a King, not your servant or your friend but a King just as you claim to be one, though judging by the way you are acting, no one would know they were talking to one instead of a common thief."

"Bastard! I descend from Kings, my blood runs purer than yours. Who are you or any of your lot, the so called noble Tudors if not paupers descended from Welsh Princes and bastards whom history would have surely forgotten if it wasn't for the fact that the true Kings of England and their families were fighting and murdering each other?"

"You forget that our Trastamara ancestors were also descended from bastards so if the Tudors are bastards, then so are the Catholic Kings."

"You fool. I met with Chapuys and let me say that you do look like him a lot." Philip said and he wasn't messing around for once. Henry IX took more after his real father than his brother Christoph whose face resembled more his mother.

"I will not stand you or any of your dirty Spaniards to talk this way about me or any other member of my family."

"Your family! Your family is the biggest mistake in the history of Europe and I am glad that I will not be marrying into it. And I am glad I am not going to be a part of it."

"You will go into that party tomorrow and tell everybody of our agreement or I will see that the rest of your days are long and torturous."

"You will not get me to marry your skinny daughter. If you truly value Spain, then you will show it by announcing that our alliance still stands but I will marry your sister instead and as my Queen she will be a head higher than you and your puny daughter."

"This was not part of the deal Habsburg!"

"I am altering the deal, thank our Lord that I am not going any further."

Henry IX's lips were so pressed together that they formed a thin line. When he opened his mouth to speak, to Philip's amazement, and sudden hidden admiration he got from the man, his voice became even colder, and his eyes colder still.

"You will get nothing from me and my country. England has welcomed you with open arms, humored you even, and you have spit in our faces. This is how you want to play, so be it. You will have no mercy from us when you need our aid again."

"Oh you are good, very good but Henry ... I am better." He said and with that, he left the annoying, pompous ass of a King and went to the only man who could get him the information he wanted.

~o~

Christoph was nervous. The King had taken his sister to an undisclosed location which he knew thanks to his spies, and they had just told him that his master had visited him, asking his cousin all about it.

"Damn, damn." This day couldn't get any worse. If the King were to find out, or even suspect ... He was brought out of his thoughts by his wife.

"You should just tell him Chris. He is not going to wait until you tell him that you knew and go on your knees, begging his forgiveness."

"Shut up wife, you are not helping."

"You men are so predictable. Why don't you just tell him and get it over with? What are you so afraid? If the King really values this alliance then he will accept Philip's deal."

"It is not that! Don't you get it

"I get it, it is you that doesn't get it. Look, Spain is going to complain no matter who the King marries. And they have always been xenophobic about strangers."

"Exactly! That is why his father had to marry Isabella of Portugal so he could get the people's support and stop the nobles from supporting another rebellion! What do you think this is going to do when they find that he didn't just marry an English royal, but a bastard and a widow at that?"

"So? It will be -what's his name- John Gaunt or something marrying his daughter to a King of Castile all over again. It will be fine."

"That was different!"

"How so? And don't yell me or it is no sex night for you again." Christoph was about to open his mouth but he closed it, knowing that his wife always made good on her promises (and threats -his mind added making him feel more miserable). "John married a woman like his cousin married her sister, who wasn't legitimate and she gave him many children and one of them married the King of Castile."

"Daniela, honey I know what you are trying to get at-"

"So what are you complaining about?"

"But this is different." He said moving his hands wildly but Daniela just saw it as another over-the-top dramatics that his mother always did, gesture which worked for everyone but not for her. After spending years in the Chapuys household, she got used to these antics.

"John of Gaunt was legitimate, his wife was not but he was and in this world if your father is legitimate but your mother is a bastard it doesn't matter as long as they were married."

"Yours weren't married." She quipped.

"Lizzie's parents weren't married and officially nobody knows how her father was, so in everyone's eyes she is a bastard. And that is enough to make her hated no matter where she goes."

There was a knock at their door. "What?!' Daniela almost jumped out of her seat at his shouting. What was it with Tudors and shouting? She thought. "I am very busy!"

"I am sorry sir but His Majesty is in the solar. He requests your presence."

"King Henry?" He asked, mentally crossing his fingers, wishing it was him. He wasn't ready to face his master.

"No, sir. King Philip of Spain."

Bless my luck -he thought sarcastically, adjusting his doublet, not bothering to look at his wife who was grinning widely, and stepped out the door.

"Su Majestad. Esta es una sorpresa. No esperaba verlo sino hasta la semana quentra cuando usted y la Princesa..." [1] Philip raised a hand and stopped him.

"You and I are going to play a little game. You are going to tell me yes or no, or give me a clear answer of what I ask or it is your head, you understand?"

"Ah ... Yes Your Majesty but may I ask what this is all about?"

"Tut, tut, yes or no, or a clear answer." Christoph said no more. After a long minute of silence he started. "Where is your sister?"

"Isabella? She is in Antwerp looking over my states and hers from her late husband's, I told you last week."

"Not that sister you fool. Your other sister-"

"Your Majesty, I am afraid I don't know-"

"Don't try to fool me! One Tudor already tried to and I could have chopped off his head and delivered it to his blessed aunt in a silver platter if he wasn't a King, so I am not in the mood for you playing dumb right now. Where. Is. She?"

"Your Majesty ... I ... I-I really don't know."

Philip smiled coldly at him. Anyone else would have been intimidated by his cold smile but not Christoph. The King of Spain was going to need more intimidation to get through his Ambassador.

"Tell me Christoph, do you value loyalty?"

"Your Majesty?"

"Loyalty. Do you value loyalty?"

"Your Majesty, you know that when I took this position I promised that I would upheld my commitment to Spain and to you. There is no one who has been more loyal to you than I."

"That is true, except for now. You refuse to tell me where your sister is, and you refuse to acknowledge your connection to her. Family, you once told me after I appointed you Ambassador, is everything to you. I didn't doubted you then, because I had seen when I briefly stayed with your folks, who united you all were but now I am beginning to wonder if you were lying to me like your father lied to the previous Henry many times."

"I am loyal to my family, sir."

"Then why won't you do this for me?" Switching to Gaelic which his servants didn't speak, he continued: "You as I know that the late Duke of Bavaria was not the King of England's father and your mother was not some Italian-Spanish orphan who moved to Savoy. We are family, Christoph, the Countess Dowager is much your family as she is mine and I intend to make her my wife and the next Queen of Spain."

"Your Majesty, the Countess Dowager is a bastard as I am. Even if your intentions with her are pure, your people will never see her as anything other than what she was born as. Think of the consequences."

"I already have and she will be my Queen whether you like it or not, it is your job as my servant to tell me things not to give me political advise."

"I beg to differ Your Majesty but it is my job as your Ambassador to tell you when you are doing a mistake even if you don't wish to hear it."

Philip raised an eyebrow. My, my, he thought, these Tudors sure like being bold. Perhaps it was in their blood. Philip considered it foolish. Nothing good comes out of being so bold.

"If you marry this woman, it will only bring you despair. Think of what happened to King Edward IV of England, of the House of York, who destroyed not only his children's lives, but destroyed his own dynasty and ended hundreds of years of Plantagenet rule when he married the Grey widow. People rebelled against him."

"And you really think it was just because of that? You don't think it was because of other political motivations?" He asked. "I am getting very weary of this Christoph. I know that you care about the welfare of your adoptive country and myself, but this is what I want. I love her and nothing is going to change that."

When Philip said this, instead of making Christoph better, it made him feel worse. Because he would have felt much better if His Majesty said that he had an ulterior motive for marrying his sister, but now that he was admitting his love for her, it made things more serious and dangerous.

"Your Majesty perhaps it is better that you forget about her. The King intends to marry her with Beauchamp and she will be very happy. It is best to let her go."

"Damn it man! You won't stand in the way of my happiness. Tell me where she is or you and your sister will never step foot in Spain again!"

Christoph sighed. God help me. Damn his sister and her Tudor blood. "She is at Coldharbour."

Philip laughed and slapped his shoulder. "Good man, you will take me there. Let's go." He said and Christoph had no other option but to go in disguise as His Majesty had once been fond of doing in his teenage years when he would sneak into Madrid and pretend he was a commoner to visit his infamous mistress, Isabel de Osorio.

"And don't worry Christoph, I wasn't really going to do anything to you."

What?! Seeing his look, made Philip laugh harder as they boarded their carriage. "I could have just asked Daniela to come and get the truth out of you!"

"You know it's a while since I've done this." Philip confessed. They arrived at their destination and Christoph waited until the Lady of Pembroke and Leicester left so they could make their entrance.

"Halt. State your business." The guard said.

"I am Christoph Chapuys, these are my papers. All the information is there."

"I am sorry Your Excellency but the King gave us explicit orders-"

"Do you know who I work for? Good, then you will not want to disappoint my master because he will report to your King directly and I doubt he will be pleased to know that you had anything to do to change his mind regarding his daughter." He said in a strict tone.

The guard gulped and stepped aside, letting him and his secretary pass.

As they made their way in, Christoph had an easier way getting upstairs where they were keeping her. Everything was ready for the King and her to climb down from the ladder he would provide once he stepped out.

Philip thanked his Ambassador and stepped inside the room where they were keeping Elizabeth.

~o~

Lizzie heard the door come in. Judging by his heavy foots, it was another one of her brother's guards to check on her. She didn't need that right now. With just a lit candle to read her book, she raised her voice at his thug. "I don't need more surveillance. Tell my brother that he doesn't need to send more guards on me. If he really wants to help me then bring me ink and paper so I can write and more books!"

Ever his Lizzie. He thought, smiling vaguely. "If I knew you needed ink and paper, I would've brought that too along with some books. Preferably Plato's Republic which I know is your favorite or some of mine so you can see once and for all that the Roman thinkers are much better than your Greek philosophers." He added the last bit with a chuckle.

That voice! Philip! She turned and there he was.

He took off his hat. "Hello my fair lady."

"Philip but how ... Does my brother know you are here?"

"Worry not about your brother. Your other brother brought me here." He said hugging her but at the mention of Christoph she pulled away. He sighed. "Lizzie come on, I knew. You and him have the same eyes and I visited your father, and to be fair your older brother takes after him a lot."

"I didn't expect you to find out. Being related to him has always been a stain, I would rather think that I was related to someone else."

Philip knew she was angry and had her own reasons to hate Eustace Chapuys, so he dismissed the venom in her voice to turn to more pressing matters. "Bess, if you'll allow me to call me Bess for I can think of no better way than to honor my English maiden, I want to make you my wife. I meant it before and I mean it now and nothing anyone says can deter me from my objective."

"No Philip ... I can't ... If I marry you, people will hate me, they will blame me for everything. At first I thought you and I could live happily ever after like in the fairy tales the Duchess of Somersets used to tell me every night but ..."

"But what?" He pressed, deeply hurt that Bess was about to break his heart. He was angry at her, true, but he was sadder, that she was giving up so easily.

"What?!" He asked more strongly and the hurt was now more evident in his face. Even with the dim light she could see it. She sat down and he took her hand. She began crying and she looked away.

A part of her face he had noticed since she turned to him and embraced him was covered and although the sight of her loose hair drove him mad with desire, he could sense something was wrong.

Bess tried to resist but he was quicker and tearing it away he saw it. "Who did this to you?" He was no longer angry at her, but he was seeing red. And if he saw Henry or any of his minions, he vowed he would kill them all. Smart or not, he didn't care anymore. Let others play at politics for once. I have done my part. I will kill that bastard King if I see him again. He swore.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!" He lowered his voice immediately hearing footsteps approaching. He waited until they were far away, then he spoke again. "Bess, you must come with me. I can take you away from all of this."

"You can't Philip. I am a whore. What we did-"

"was no different than what married couples do and it was a promise I made so in the eyes of God, we did nothing wrong-"

"In the eyes of the one true God according to my brother who sees it all we did" She said with sarcasm, though her tone was also as hateful as the glare she gave him (which he knew was not directed at him but at her brother).

"I can't say I tried but if you do not come then everything will be for nothing." He said and stood up, leaving but just then Bess said "Wait. Philip ... I do love you."

He smiled.

"Then come with me." He said simply, walking to her again, extending his hand. When she took it, he saw the marks on her skin and upon further examination, pushing her sleeve up he saw more scratches and finger nail marks. "Those bastards."

"My auntie Bess, she always said she loved me and was greatly disappointed by my behavior."

"That doesn't matter. We will get out of here and you won't have to see them again." He promised.

The two left England that day. It wasn't long before Henry felt he was the laughing stock, which he would have been if it wasn't for his temper and his stare which was enough to make any man, including the bravest and most brute of them, cower before him.

He could hear the laughter of his father. His real father as he approached him and told him that he should expect no less from a sister that was better than him in every way.

"Bastard!" Henry roared at him then left his study chamber screaming in his mind: Why can't I get rid of you?!

When he reached his shared bedroom with his wife, she wasn't very cooperative and told him this was his fault. Deciding he had enough of nagging ghosts and wives, he went to his private rooms and had his groom of the stool call his mistress and his aunt's cousin, Lettice.

As she took all of her clothes off, he couldn't help but compare her to Catherine. The first time the two had made love, it felt so wrong but so right at the same time. They didn't care of the consequences and probably that is what Lizzie felt as well. But he was a king and he could do whatever he wanted. Furthermore, Catherine was of royal descent with a claim to the Portuguese throne.

What his sister had done was treason. Plain and simple.

After succumbing to pleasure, he shut all his memories and his pains, but he was hit by them again in his dreams.

[FLASHBACK SEQUENCE: 21 YRS BEFORE]

To say that Henry was angry was an understatement. Her favorite playmate and secret crush, little Mary Seymour was showing off to his older brother Philip. "Oh why does Philip get to have the nice girls?"

"Don't worry Harry, you will get her someday. Besides, you are more handsome than Phil." His sister Lizzie said.

"You think so?" He asked, a wide smile on his face as he imagined himself married to her one day. Ah, what a day that would be. He was only eleven years old, but he knew all about marriage. It was when two people loved each other so much that they were willing to do anything -*anything*- to be together. He vowed that when he married Mary, he would never stray from her or look at another woman.

"I know so." Lizzie promised him and kissed his cheek. "You are a catch. And I am also proud of having such a handsome brother like you."

He giggled and hugged her. "I love you Lizzie." The two then went out into the gardens. Since the Duke of Somerset had died, and the Duchess was put in prison with many of her ten children separated, Lizzie got sent back to the Duke of Bavaria's care. A part of him was sad because that meant a lot of verbal lashing, but the other part was happy because he got to be with her again.

As the two stared at the night sky and pointed to constellations, Lizzie took his hand and squeezed it tightly, surprising him. He turned to her and saw the concern in her eyes. "What's wrong Lizzie?"

"Harry? Promise me we will be friends."

"I promise you Lizzie, you know I would never let anything come in between us. You are my sister and I love you."

"Please Harry just promise me."

"I will. But why all this worry? This isn't you."

Lizzie sighed. "I had a bad dream. I had babies and bad men came and took them away from me. And you were there being tormented by me because I accused you of something. I can't remember what but it had to do with my babies and you cried then you died. Harry, tell me you will never do something like that."

"Of course I will not Lizzie! Never!" Harry swore. He was horrified that his sister could dream something like that, worse that she could think that he would ever hurt her. He was one half of her. He would never hurt her. The two were one being. "I love you." He said, more serious now.

[End of FLASHBACK]

~o~

Henry IX awoke, drenched in cold sweat. He put his hands on his temples and said "Get out of there." He was tired of being haunted by the past. Hadn't he suffered enough?

Not realizing that he was being watched through one of the hidden holes in his paintings, he sighed and went back to sleep, moving closer to the warm body of Lettice.