I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you're showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I'm not much for dancing

But for you I did

There was a rap at the door.

"Come in!" Stiles hollered. The door opened and John came in. "Hey." He pushed his chair away from the desk and turned to face him.

"Hey." His dad sat on the bed and looked at him. "So. How are you holding up from lunch?"

Stiles looked away. "I'm holding," he said finally. "It was hard. It's Lydia."

"I know. I gotta tell you, I never thought you two would end."

Stiles bit down on his lip. "Me neither."

"Should I not have brought it up?"

Stiles hesitated and then shook his head. "It's okay. I appreciate you asking."

"You still love her." It wasn't a question. Of course it wasn't. Stiles nodded slowly. "Why don't you tell her?"

"Because… I ended it for her."

"Ah, right. I forgot." John leaned back against the wall. "Maybe it's something to reconsider."

"No. Even if I did, I don't think she would. Not after I hurt her. I was supposed to... I was supposed to be the end of the line. When I broke up with her, I took away her boyfriend and her best friend in one sweep." He shook his head. "There's no going back from that."

John nodded once. "Well. How was it seeing her again?"

"Hard. All I wanted to do was kiss her and tell her I was sorry. But all I could do was a hug and pleasantries. I don't know how to be this thing with her. All I've ever known is to love her every day harder than I did the day before and to let her know she had someone. Now I want her to know she has me but I don't know how to tell her. And even if I did she wouldn't take me up on it. I don't think she trusts me anymore."

"Breakups are hard," his dad said quietly. "But Stiles, I've never seen any two people handle a breakup like you did."

"Yeah, it wasn't great."

"No, it was magnificent."

Stiles stared at him. "What?"

"Normally people want to be with each other, that's why it hurts, and they tell themselves no and they stay away. But you two? You wanted comfort from each other and you got it. She would come here or you would go there. Or you'd meet or you'd call. And sometimes you'd fight and you'd tell each other exactly why it hurt and what you wished could be done and then you'd just cry together. Now that? That relationship… I can't believe that's over. I refuse actually." John got up. "I just think you need to figure it out."

"I don't know, dad." Stiles stared at the floor. "I don't think either of us could survive another goodbye."

"Last night in California," Scott said, clapping him on the back. "I am so not going to survive without you."

"You'll be okay." Stiles grinned at him but his heart was aching. Suddenly he didn't want to go. But he wasn't sure how much he ever wanted to go. He just wanted to get through it. He wanted to survive this break up. He hoped Lydia "won" the break up (got over him faster) but he wanted to survive. Leaving seemed the way to do it.

Lydia was over for dinner too. Just about everyone was. It was Stiles's goodbye party. Granted it wasn't much of a party. Everyone forced themselves to high spirits but no one was actually happy. After everything they'd gone through it wasn't natural for someone to be going so far away.

Stiles tried to catch her eye but she avoided eye contact. Since they'd stopped going to each other for comfort, they'd started seeing less of each other. A lot less. Stiles hated it. He hated the distance and the look of pain he'd occasionally see flash in her eyes. He hated knowing that he'd made her cry so many times, that he'd caused her to cry herself to sleep. He hated himself. This was why he had to go. Lydia deserved the chance to do better.

Near the end of the night, Stiles was rinsing dishes without John or Melissa's knowledge (they didn't want him doing anything) when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Thinking it was one of them busting him, he whirled around. Lydia was looking at him, unshed tears shining in her eyes, her beautiful hair falling around her in perfect curled locks. "Lyds…"

"Can we talk? Outside?"

Stiles nodded and she took his hand and led him out. He shivered at the touch and hoped she didn't notice. He loved her so much, too much. "What's going on?" he asked as he shut the door behind them.

"I'm about to leave. I wanted a chance to say goodbye. I'm not coming to the airport, Stiles. I can't."

Stiles closed his eyes and nodded. He'd expected that. "Okay."

She looked hesitant and then she closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, pulling her as close as he possibly could. "Stiles Stilinski, I have one thing to say to you…" He braced himself. "Thank you."

"What?"

"Thank you. You have been my friend for a long time, longer than I realized. You were the only one who saw me completely and you've always been there for me, even when I know it hurt you to do so. Like with Jackson. And you filled in for Allison, going shopping with me and watching romantic comedies. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget the boy who saw me."

"Lyds… This isn't that kind of goodbye." He was scared by the tone in her voice, the way she was speaking, and he could hear his fear in his voice. "It's not forever."

"I know." She looked up at him, still in his arms. "But things are changing. And I need you to know."

"Know what?"

"That I saw you. That I'm grateful, that I always have been. …That I love you. That I'll always love you, that I've loved you longer than you know."

Stiles felt a catch in his throat and looked up at the half moon and blinked. "I know."

"Stiles?" Her gentle, soft hand came up to touch his cheek and guide his face down to look at her. A couple of tears had fallen. It was only then that he realized a few had fallen from his eyes too. "One last kiss?"

Stiles leaned down, cupped her face in his hands, and whispered, "Are you sure? Will it make it harder?"

"It's worth it," she murmured.

And he kissed her. He felt all the regret and all of the pain that was in store. He could feel the love and the laughter that they had shared, like the beautiful friendship that had led into the imperfectly perfect relationship. He felt Stiles and Lydia, like the end of the best part of his life.

She was the one to pull away first. She let her hand slide across his cheek slowly, as if her fingertips were trying to memorize him. And then her hand fell away and she backed up to her car, not breaking eye contact. She was crying. He watched her get into her car and pull away.

"Goodbye Lydia Martin," he whispered, raking his fingers through his hair.

Lydia sat on her bed, staring at a framed picture on her dresser. She loved that picture. Scott, Allison, Kira, Isaac, Stiles, her. The one time their group had been whole and together. That period ended quickly. She wished they had tackled Derek into the picture but she didn't own a single picture of him. Probably never would. Derek didn't seem like he did pictures.

She looked at where she and Stiles stood. She was looking at him, laughing at something that he'd said or done, and he was beaming with pride that he'd made Lydia Martin laugh. She'd give anything for him to do it again.

There was a knock and Natalie poked her head in. "Hey, honey. I have hot chocolate."

Lydia felt herself smile against her will. "Okay."

Natalie came in and sat beside her. "You aren't in jammies yet?"

Lydia shook her head and got to her feet. She moved to her dresser, pointedly not looking at the picture, and opened a drawer. She froze. There was an old T-shirt that was ten times too big for her. She slowly lifted it. Did it still smell like him? Probably not. Before she could think better of it, she pulled off her dress and pulled it on instead. She moved back to the bed and sat down, crossing her legs as she pulled her mug to her.

"Did I not do good by inviting him?" Natalie asked suddenly, looking at her with worried eyes.

Lydia shook her head. "I wanted to see him again. I needed to. I can't avoid him. We're going to be a group again whether we like it or not." She picked at a loose thread on her blanket.

"Why don't you tell him?"

Lydia shook her head. "He can't know how much I miss him."

"Why not?"

She couldn't answer at first. Finally, she whispered, "He was supposed to be the one that didn't hurt."

"Honey…" Her mother rested a hand on her knee. "All love hurts, even the right ones."

Lydia looked up and bit her lip. She wished her mom was right but… "I just can't say goodbye again." She moved towards the dresser again and tugged off his old shirt, tossed it away. She couldn't do it.

And I hope the sun shines

And it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you

You wish you had stayed

You can plan for a change in weather and time

But I never planned on you changing your mind

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

I hope you liked it! Let me know!