A/N: Wow this chapter really wrote itself. I hope that you like it and will continue to read the story as we move onto the next chapter. I will update when I get 10 reviews for this chapter, if not it will be awhile till I update.--jaymelynn

Letting It Go!

Charlie held me the whole time; I waited for Carlisle to come back. At times I felt it hard to breathe, he may have hurt me but my heart still held a spot for him in it. I wasn't sure how big it was, but I knew it was there.

Sure I was angry for what he did, but I also know I was no better in the situation. I ran from him before talking with him when he was sober. Maybe things would have gone differently. He might have decided something totally different from what he had said and did the night before. We might have even been able to work through the issues that were at hand. Then I remembered the note from the motel guy in my purse from Edward.

It began;

Dearest Bella,

I can't imagine what the last five years has been like for you. I guess it didn't help to have me yell and hurt you the way I did. Yeah I guess I was too drunk to remember the events of that night. I just remember waking up the next morning and you had disappeared.

I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you and even my family. I spent a year searching for you to no avail. I thought you just ran away, but I caused it by my actions. I'm also very sorry for telling you to 'get rid of it' when you told me you were pregnant. I wasn't thinking very clearly.

I want you to know I'm proud of you for the job you have done with the girls. They are very lucky to have you as their mom. I just wish I had done things differently. Please forgive me for hurting you in so many ways. I know just because I was drunk doesn't mean anything- my actions spoke very loud that night. I just want you to know how horrible I feel about it all.

Please don't take it out on my family they haven't done anything wrong to you. They lost a daughter and sister all those years ago so try to cut them slack. They also do deserve to be apart of your daughters life they are their family after all. If you want to blame some one place it where it belongs on me.

I have never stopped loving you or thought about what I would do if I ever saw you again. You stole my heart all those years ago and I want you to know it belongs only to you it will always. I'm going away for awhile to work out my new revelations. I broke up with Jessica because I really didn't love her. I was only dating her because my family was tried of seeing me mope round the house.

I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me – then maybe I can forgive myself for the hurt I have caused for you. I also pray to be allowed in my daughters' life one day to know them and make them proud to call me father. I love you always Bella.

Always

Edward Cullen

My heart ached as I processed the very heart felt words he wrote. All this time I harbored ill will against him and he didn't even remember the whole ordeal. No wonder he fell apart when I upped and disappeared. I had ripped out his heart at the same time, as he did mine. I thought he jerked mine around, yet I had practically had done the same thing to him. Emmalin and Carlie need their father and he needed the chance to know his daughters. Finally I realized I needed to fix this problem. As much pain as our families have endured because of us, they need to have some kind of normality. My thoughts were running wild even as Carlisle came back into the room.

"Bella, are you ready to go," he whispers as I look over to Charlie who seems to have fallen back to sleep.

"Carlisle, did Edward ever mention to you or anyone why he thought I left," I asked him as he slid right into the car beside me.

"No, he never knew what happened the night before. He did say he was sort of plastered so he took you up to his room to hide out, but he must of fell asleep because when he opened his eyes you were gone and he had a major headache," he snickered as he said the last part. I bet Edward had a headache as much as he drank that night I was surprised that was all he had.

"I wish I could have blocked out that night," I muttered as I watched him pull to the side of the road.

"Bella, whatever happened to you two is in the past. You both need to think of the future and what it holds for your lives. He was miserable for close to a year after you disappeared. I talked with him, Charlie talked with him and one day he just snapped out of his slump and started to come back to life," he said nervously shaking his head as if trying to put something out of his mind.

"It drove me insane the first few days away from Forks. I didn't go to my mom and Phil because they had Lily to worry about. When I told her I was pregnant shortly after moving to New York; she was really angry and disappointed with me. I told Charlie a few months after I left and he told me I should come back and let him take care of me. I told him this was something I needed to do on my own. I didn't tell him Edward was the dad until a few years ago, but by then he already figured it out. He kept telling me Edward deserved to know about them and I wasn't being fair to them by keeping you out of their lives, but he understood I needed time," I said pausing sliding back as much as I could in the seat.

"Would you tell me what happened between the two of you back then," he questioned.

"I guess now knowing his said from the letter he wrote me it was all a misunderstanding. Things though got way out of hand even at the point of being violent," I say as I retell the events of what happened that night that caused all this damage.

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Alice had decided to throw a Spring Break party and invite all of our friends. Edward seemed to notice that I wasn't drinking anything. He had though drank several beers, more than I thought he could possibly drink for his age. He decided that it was time for us to be alone so he took me up to his room. Once we were safely alone with the door locked he pulled me close to him on the bed.

"Edward, we need to talk," I whisper softly.

"Fine after you kiss me," he mutters drunkenly.

"No," I say as I try to push him off of me so I can sit up on the side of the bed.

"Why not?" he spats at me as he grabs me forcefully.

"Because I don't want to …. I can't," I whisper while he holds me down.

"Why can't we?" he questions angrily with his face just inches from mine.

"I'm pregnant," I mutter to the side of him as I struggle to get out from under him. I know he said the first thing that popped into his drunken head at least that was what I was hoping for, but in reality I wasn't so sure.

"Get rid of it, it's not even mine. Who knows who else you slept with – it could be Mike Newton's for all I know," he spat down at me.

"Are you crazy?" I question him. I could tell he was pissed and decided to take action he grabbed me hard and pushed me down deeper into his bed. I was struggling with him and crying all the while. It was making him crazy touching me in a weird way one that seemed to be out of lust. His eyes were a strange way staring out at me like I was some object and not a person.

Since I was wearing a skirt he pulled it up and ripped off my silk panties. I was begging him to stop, telling him; he was hurting me but all he did was push him further into me. The way he took me made me feel worthless and empty. I was moaning a crying out his name in pain, but he seemed to enjoy it. I made my mind up once he passed out I would leave for good before he could hurt me even more.

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We stayed silent for a little while as I'm sure he was trying to process the events of what I just told him. I mean hell Edward was his own son.

"Carlisle, why do you think he forgot about that night," I question really just wondering not mad.

"I'm not sure why maybe it was all done out of a drunken rage and he blocked it out because it brought him pain. I can't honestly tell you why, but I am sorry it happened. You both suffered over something that should never have happened. Alice and her wild parties," he mutters in a disappointing voice.

"You seemed to already know my little girls were his," I say absentmindedly.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Charlie let it slip one time during his checkup. I kept it a secret all this time because I liked knowing you were okay and it was good to have something no one in my family knew," he answers back as he pulled into his driveway.

"I guess I'm glad he got to share it with one of you guys. I missed your family so much while I was away it was hard for awhile, but dad would tell me anything new about you guys when ever he came to visit. I shared all of that information with the girls. They know you guys are their family, but I think it's going to take a little while for them to settle in with all of you," I say with a big smile on my face. This was the real first smile I've smiled since coming back to Forks. He led me up to the big porch that I use to hang out on a lot during high school.

The sight before my eyes as we walked into the door made tears come to my eyes. My little girls were playing with their cousins. We both stood there taking in the sight before us. He was watching his granddaughters all playing with each other. Then Carlie saw me.

"Mommy," she cried out as she ran up to me.

"Hi sweetie," I say bending down and scooping her up into my arms while making my way to the couch to sit down.

"Bella, oh darling I'm so glad to see you came and let the girls spend some time with us. They really are well behaved for five years old," Esme said as her only grandson ran up to her to be picked up.

"Esme, I'm sorry for being mean to you that night," I whisper as I start to cry. We spent the next hour talking about our families and what we were all doing. Alice, Jasper and Carlisle had joined us while Alice said Rosalie was finishing up the cooking in the kitchen. I didn't think anything about it. As we were all talking a sudden grown child entered the house barreling in yelling and screaming causing all hell to break loose.

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN," Esme yelled as Jackson started crying on her lap because Emmett freaked him out.

"Oh mom come on, he's just a big ole baby," he said as he whined until he saw me out of the corner of his eye.

"Bella, you're here," he continued as he pulled me up into a bear hug squeezing both Carlie and me together.

"Emmett can't breathe," I gasp out trying to catch my breath.

"Mom dinner's ready," Rosalie called out from the kitchen perfect timing I thought.

"Momma, are we staying for dinner," Emmalin asks.

"Yea, Mr. Carlisle asked me on the way over here," I say as we followed everyone else into the dinning room. I was seated next to Alice, across from Rosalie and where Edward would have been sitting if he was still here. I felt bad for making him run away.

"Before we eat let's say grace," Esme says as she places her hand on her husbands. Everyone bows their head as Carlisle starts;

Lord,

We come before you with humble hearts asking for your mercy and grace for our lives. You guide our hearts through the joy and suffering within our families. I want to thank you for bringing our daughter Bella back home along with our granddaughters Emmalin and Carlie. They are a blessing to be with. I pray that you would protect them and keep them safe while they are here visiting.

We are amazed at how you have blessed our children with families of their own. Please keep all of our grandchildren safe while they are here on earth. Also we bring Edward to you keep him safe and guide him wherever he is meant to go. We will miss him while he is away and will hope to keep him close to us while he is gone. Make him see that he has two little girls here who need him with them.

Thank you for the food that has been provided for us to eat. Let our hearts always stay true to you. Amen!

When he was finished and everyone had opened their eyes the adults looked in my direction. I kept my eyes down on Emmalin who was seated right next to me. The food was passed as everyone served themselves and little conversations began to start up. Alice talked with me most of dinner asking different questions ranging from my job to how I liked living in New York. As dinner was wrapping up there was a knock at the front door.

"I'll get that," Jasper said as he went to the door.

"Where is he?" came a woman's voice.

"Jess, he's not here," Jasper replied.

"Like hell he's not here," he stated and we all turned to look toward the dinning room entry way as Jessica Stanley walked in angry with Jasper hot on her tail. When her eyes landed on me she looked pissed.

"What the hell is she doing here?" she questioned pointing her finger to me as she made her way to stand before me.

"That's none of your business," Alice replied stepping closer to me.

"Like hell it's not. I'm dating Edward not her," she snapped back taking another step closer to me than before.

"Edward told me he broke up with you. Your not his girlfriend anymore," I say taking a step back to protect the twins incase she did something crazy.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied. Rosalie was looking on with curious eyes trying to see where this conversation was heading.

"Jessica he broke up with you at the grocery store this afternoon after Bella walked home," Alice said probably trying to refresh her mind. Then Jackson walked up to her and she picked him up.

"This isn't over," Jessica shrilled out as she scampered out the front door and drove off.

We all looked at each trying to access what to think or do next.

"Well that was interesting," Rosalie said as she started cleaning the dishes up off the table.

"Let me help you," I say picking up dirty dishes.

"You don't have to," she says. I helped her anyway clean up the dinner dishes while Esme and Alice put the food away.

"Bella would you like to spend the night here since it is a little late and all," Esme asks while packing a small dish.

"No I think I need to go home. I still have some things that I need to do and think about," I say as I sit down next to Emmalin on the couch.

"Will you come again so that the kids can play together," Alice asks as she sits down next to me.

"Sure, I mean they are cousins and all right," I say giving her a smile. The rest of the night went by slow as I waited for Emmett to take me back to the motel. Once he said good-night to us and all I let the girls sty on the bed while I packed everything up to go back to Charlie's house. I went and checked out after I put all of our belongings in the Audi and made sure the girls were buckled up.

Even though I had felt angry at times at Edward it always went away when I looked into my little babies eyes. I hated to admit that he held a big spot in my heart. I also knew he was the father of the twins. He deserved to be a part of their lives even if he isn't meant to be with me. He was their family and they needed him too.

As we got back to Charlie's house everything was quiet. It seemed a little too quiet, but I put that thought out of my mind. For once things seemed to be moving at a safer pace. I did really find myself easing back into my life here in Forks. Carlie talked all about Sarah and Katie during their nightly bath. Emmalin just smiled and nodded her head every once in awhile as her sister talked.

We snuggled into Charlie's old bed for the night. I don't know how long we had been sleeping or anything as I started to smell smoke. Opening my eyes I could tell it was a faint amount of smoke coming up the stairs which meant most of it was downstairs. I quickly grabbed Emmalin and ran across the hall to the bathroom. I went back and got Carlie and placed them both in the tub. I ran some water and grabbed some towels.

"Girls you need to stay in this tub no matter what. Do not leave it unless someone comes in here for you. Here are some towels keep them wet and over your mouth so you don't breathe the smoke. I need to do something. You'll be safe here," I whisper as I place kisses on their foreheads knowing that we might never see each other again.

I ran back to my dad's room and pick up the phone and dial 911.

"Forks police station, this is," I cut the man off.

"This is Bella Swan. Chief Swan's daughter the house is on fire and we can't get out. My little girls are in the bathroom…." my voice trails off as I am knocked hit hard by something sending me and it crashing to the first floor. My body feels like its being ripped apart and I'm being burned alive. My head starts to hurt as I let the darkness take me with it.