(Author's notes – big thanks to all who have read, reviewed etc. But special hugs to CMiller13 for planting the kernel of an idea which saved my brain from melting trying to gel the two timelines. Sorry it takes so long for me to update but I really have no idea where the hell I'm going with this!)

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"Huh?", said Faith awkwardly as she sipped her strong black coffee drumming her fingernails on the porcelain cup.

"I said elbows off the table", replied Regina as she unfolded a paper napkin and neatly placed it on her lap.

"Listen, just 'cos you say I'm a Princess don't make me one", snorted the slayer derisively as she tossed her leather jacket over the back of the chair as the two brunette's sat in the coffee shop trying not to feel too uncomfortable in each-others presence.

"Doesn't every little girl want to be a Princess?"

"Did you?"

"Touché", replied Regina knowing full well the horrors of being part of the monarchy, "I know it's supposed to the pinnacle of everyone's life but it truly is a gilded cage"

"And besides, in case you haven't noticed", Faith said motioning to her glorious bosom, "I'm not a little girl"

"So I see", Regina nodded, "But there's no escaping the fact that you are a Princess. I know you may not believe or want it but it is still so, and even though you have all the manners of an unkempt peasant…."

"Hey", protested the slayer slamming her coffee cup down on the wonky table.

"Oh come off it dear, I'm sure it's not the first time you've heard that"

"True, I get it all the time from B. But still, I'm proud as hell to be blue collar", grunted Faith internally cursing that she left her cigarettes back in the library knowing that Buffy would've thrown yet another pack of hers away.

"Very well. But I'm sure we can smooth out those rough edges of yours a little"

"You wanna go all My Fair Lady on my ass? You want me to be Eliza or something? Screw that"

"Oh for Pete's sake", sighed Regina pinching the bridge of her nose, "Is every woman in my life going to be a stubborn, foul mouthed, leather wearing….."

"What the hell are you talking about?", Faith said losing track of the conversation.

"You'll see", the deposed Queen said with a small smirk toying with the ring on her finger, "But back in my realm…"

"Yeah, about that", interrupted Faith, "That whole thing is totally wack. I still can't believe every fairytale character I ever heard of is real. Shrek, Hellboy, Jesus, Bambi…."

"Well I'm not sure about…..oh, excuse me", Regina said answering her cellphone, "Hello? …..oh yes, it is her and no mistake …..no, not yet …..I'm not sure that's a good idea …..no honey, wait, we've been over this a million times …of course I'm not ashamed of you or…..oh very well, we're at the coffee shop on Main Street …..ok, baby….bye"

"Everything ok?", asked the slayer seeing the faraway gaze and the dopey smile on her mother's lips.

"Huh? Oh, yes, it's fine"

"So what's gonna happen to Quentin?"

"Who?"

"The chubby guy in the tweed", said Faith with quirked brows.

"Oh him, well the spell I used on him will wear off in a day or two until he can crawl back to whatever bridge he belongs under"

"If you're gonna do magic on some slimy, arrogant English turd that everyone hates….why not do it to Piers Morgan?"

"I think he's on enough hit lists without adding him to mine", Regina replied with a wink, "Would you like another coffee?"

"No, I'm cool"

"Are you sure? Nothing's too good for my daughter you know", Regina said placing her hand on top of Faith's scarred knuckles.

"Yeah, about that. How do you know I'm really your kid?"

"A mother always knows, my dear"

"That's it?", replied the slayer raising an eyebrow, "That's all you're going on?"

"And your tattoo. Tell me, why did you get that design?", asked Regina as her eyes scanned over every curve of ink.

"I dunno, I just thought it looked cool", shrugged Faith evasively.

"Don't give me that, I know you don't know me yet but you can trust me. Honestly, why did you get that particular design of tattoo?"

"I…it kept coming to me….in a dream…", Faith muttered not knowing why she would so easily expose her truths to this woman.

"In a memory my dear, the design on your arm….it's part of my family crest. Look deep into your heart my dear, you know it to be true my darling Esmerelda", Regina said with gentle and even tones.

"Will you stop it with that Esmerelda shit. Why d'you give me such a goofy name anyways?"

"It….it was the name your father always liked, he mentioned it one time when we talked about ….our future …..together", Regina said still feeling the bitterness of the memory.

"Who is my Dad anyway?"

"His name was Daniel, I loved him so much. I was willing to give up my entire world to be with him but we were betrayed. M-my own mother tore his heart out in front of me"

"That's wicked gross", winced Faith before calming her words seeing the pain which still hadn't dulled in Regina's eyes, "I'm sorry"

"It was your loss too. I was still buried in my grief when my mother forced me into marrying the King, you see…she found out I was pregnant"

"With me?"

"Of course with you. My mother threatened to kill you while you were still in the womb, to protect you I consented to marrying that desiccated sack of bones"

"Damn, your Mom was wicked bad", Faith said with arced brows.

"There's a lot more to my mother than you may first think, for back then she didn't have her heart"

"Huh? Like the Tin-Man or something?"

"Not quite dear. She used her powers to pull her own heart out so she could no longer feel the pain and despair that the wake of dark magic always leaves. I didn't know it at the time, I just thought she was twisted and cruel, but she was simply a shell of humanity….but since the curse broke she returned to Storybrooke. At first I didn't know what to do nor what to expect but…..she's changed", Regina said with the glimmer of a smile.

"Changed? Into what? Like a horse or something?"

"A horse? Why on earth would she do that?"

"Er….I dunno. It was the first thing I thought of", Faith shrugged.

"May I continue? Apparently after the curse began my mother found her heart and put it back in…"

"Simple as that?"

"Will you please stop interrupting, dear?", Regina said with a scowl which drew silence from Faith, "Anyway, she came to this world and….well we talked. Once her heart was returned she suffered so much guilt and pain over her actions that she wanted nothing more than to make it up to me but as we were in Maine she couldn't get to us until after the curse broke and she sailed over to our world. Long story short, I forgave her and we started over. I mean if Henry can forgive Emma for giving him up at birth whilst apparently suffering no moderate to severe abandonment issues, then I had to forgive my mother as I know what it's like to lose your heart. So we called a truce and began again, our past is in the past and so we've moved on. …..except that thing with my mother and Hook"

"Hook?", asked Faith seeing her mother's forehead wrinkle with disdain, "As in Captain Hook?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so"

"Cool, what's he like? I mean all the movies had him as this cool guy with a flair for the dramatic and fancy hats"

"Damn those movies. No my dear, Hook wears a lot of black, and has this brooding menace and wears way too much eyeliner"

"Oh sweet Elvis, are you really telling me that Captain Hook, the bad ass of the seven seas…dresses like a fourteen year old emo girl?", Faith said incredulously.

"Yes I suppose he does", Regina said with a small chuckle.

"So does he have a range of hooks and things, you know like Trapjaw from He-Man? I mean, if he's in the kitchen can he take his hook out and replace it with an egg whisk or a pastry brush or something?"

"Possibly. But more than that…I mean, he's not that much older than me", Regina said with a sudden snort of disdain, "And he…. and my mother….."

"Oh god, you mean my grandma is shacked up with that Abu Hamza wannabe?", Faith coughed with wide eyes.

"I'm afraid so. They'll be here eventually, they wanted to take the scenic route by sea"

"That's wicked gross", Faith said as her face crunched up at the thought of Hook sex, "But we've sorta diverted from the original story here. When I was still in your womb, Grandma wanted to kill me?"

"The darkness in her wanted to but I hoped that once she saw you she would find that spark of humanity again …..but that little bitch found out the truth before I had a chance to work anything out", Regina replied with a slight snarl.

"Who?"

"Snow"

"You mean Snow Whitey was keepin' you down?", Faith said with a scowl.

"Yes, though I imagine your view of her has been warped by all these silly stories which have painted her to be the heroine and me to be the villain. Just because someone writes it down doesn't make it true, just because someone tells you something doesn't mean you have to believe it. That's how Mormonism started"

"Oh….right"

"Yes, I imagine you've been brainwashed with all these stupid tales about how Snow was some sweet little girl when I entered their lives. Not true, as she wasn't that much younger than me when we met which was probably why she resented the marriage to her father more than I did as it took her further away from the throne. It was Snow who told my mother about my love for Daniel, it was Snow ….who stole you from me", Regina said fighting back the tears.

"How?", asked Faith wrapping her fingers around her mother's hand unsure as to why she felt this increasing ease around her.

"She was a jealous and spoilt little bitch, always thinking I was trying to steal her father's love from her, nothing could be further from the truth. Once you were born it would've meant you would've become Queen before her own child, in order to keep hold of her power she plotted against me. When you were born…. she gave me this potion, she said it was to help me recover as you took nearly two days to find your way out of me. Talk about a marathon labor, but when it was over and I held you in my arms I was so weak and confused that I didn't even think twice about her giving me the potion"

"What kinda potion?"

"It was a love potion she had made a deal to acquire. It wipes the memory of the one you love the most, it erased every fleeting moment I had with you. In all these years after the curse I felt the emptiness of my soul, a heartache and sorrow I carried with me always with no idea why. It's only since the curse broke and all these magicks came to an end that I could remember you again"

"So what did you do? After I was born I mean?", asked Faith feeling her mother's pain.

"There was nothing I could do as I had no idea why my heart ached every minute of every day, Snow just watched as I suffered as she thought I was trying to usurp the throne from her. I hated being Queen and the loneliness ate away at my soul. When the King died a few months after your birth I thought I was finally free of him and his leaking bladder, but Snow was a vindictive little vermin and claimed I had something to do with his death", said Regina idly stirring her latte with her spoon.

"And everyone believed her?", quizzed Faith in empathy.

"Of course, for she was Snow White, the so-called virginal Princess who was beloved by all. But behind the closed doors of the castle only those close to her could see the truth behind the myth. So when I was blamed for the King's death I fled to the land of the ogre's as I didn't want to cause her anymore pain. Even though it was she and her feckless husband who used their power and influence to intimidate Sidney into killing the King, they were a jealous and ambitious pair but as ever the truth has been practically erased in order for them to rule"

"Ogres? You hung out with ogres? Don't they like eat babies and shit like that?"

"What utter nonsense", Regina snorted as she toyed absent mindedly with the gold band around her finger, "But anyway, Snow and her husband knew exactly how to manipulate the masses to their own ends, to paraphrase Goerring 'If you tell a lie, tell a big one and keep repeating it. Eventually the people will come to believe it'. So soon enough the people of the land thought Snow as pure, chaste and could do no wrong and I was the Evil Queen all callous and scheming. The stories spread and with each passing of the lips more lies were added until I was vilified and Snow and Charming were seen as the heroic pairing who overcame the evil of the land. For they could not be seen as the angels if I wasn't portrayed as the devil. And nothing unites people like a common enemy, once I was the scourge of the realm every kingdom sent men to aid in their damned crusade"

"How come everyone thought you were evil then?"

"Tell someone they're evil or bad, tell them enough times they'll start to believe it. I'm sure if ever you make a mistake and were then branded wicked enough times you'd start to fall for their short sighted beliefs"

"So you weren't evil? Then why did you run?"

"I went into exile to try and stop our land from tumbling into the horrors of civil war with Snow and I battling over the throne. A throne I didn't even care about, but there were many who would've supported my campaign if I stood my ground. Instead I stood in the western lands with the ogres and goblins as Charming's ever growing army tried to conquer their lands to wrest control of the ogre's precious silver mines for their own gain. They claimed they wanted peace, but their idea of peace was to crush everyone who dared defy their power. That idiot Charming, like anyone who desires war, was just trying to overcompensate for his small and inadequate genitalia"

"How come we never heard the truth of these stories before?", Faith said feeling a pang of grief echo around her heart.

"That damned Walt Disney has a lot to answer for. In the years since our tales came to this world the truth has become so distorted that no-one wants to know the truth behind it all. The stories were recycled, exaggerated and twisted to suit their own design", snorted Regina in disgust.

"Wait, you said that Snow made a deal for that whole memory zapping potion she tricked you into drinking. What kinda deal?"

"Snow is as stupid as her husband and so made a deal with Rumplestiltskin. I don't know what it was but safe to say it wasn't going to be to her advantage"

"Rumplestiltskin? You're shittin' me?"

"No, I am not", Regina said trying hard not to chide her child over her crude language, "He is more cunning than most give him credit for but nothing like those stupid tales paint him to be, he may be vindictive but he's not the monster everyone likes to believe he is. But my guess would be that once the realm was torn by war anyone and everyone wanting to gain a measure of power would've turned to him and made deals thereby giving him almost unlimited control of our land. It's basic capitalism, buy low sell high"

"I thought those deals were usually about claiming someone's first born?"

"He was much too late for late as Snow's child was already eleven when I became Queen. Though Emma, that's her daughter, was sent far away to some kind of regal boarding school for she was never close to her idiot parents. And due to Charming's erectile dysfunction they wouldn't be bearing any more children which may be why Rumple twisted the magicks to punish Snow for deceiving him. So when he created the curse and gave it to me….."

"You mean you really did curse them all?", said Faith pulling away from the suited woman.

"Yes, I cast the curse but I had no choice, if I didn't bring everyone here then the whole realm would've been dragged into that stupid war. The horror, the chaos, the countless dead of innocent civilians. I wasn't going to stand idle and let Snow and Charming gain control of our entire realm. I wasn't going to let them have their happy ending"

"And what was their happy ending?"

"Power. Control of everyone in our land, they wanted to take all my magic I assembled to protect myself as they wanted no other monarch to threaten their absolute dominance. That's why I brought everyone here hoping they could find their worth free from the shackles of oppression"

"So how come I didn't end up in Storybrooke? What the hell happened to me?"

"I don't know, when you were taken from me I have no idea what happened to you or how you ended up outside our borders. It was only when the curse broke that…."

"What made it break anyway?", interrupted Faith as she signalled to the waitress to bring her a cookie.

"True love", Regina breathed with a flickering smile.

"Whose?"

"Mine. When Daniel was killed my heart shattered, I only held it together knowing that you were soon to bless my life but like I said….when you were taken….I carried these wounds for so long I never thought I'd feel love again. But when Henry came into my life I finally felt my heart begin to beat again"

"Who's Henry? Your new guy or something?"

"My….son", Regina said with a wince hoping that Faith wouldn't feel she had been so easily replaced.

"Your son? Y-you mean I have a brother?", replied the slayer with wide eyes.

"Sort of"

"What do you mean 'sort of'?"

"I adopted him, and when his birth mother, Emma ….it's a long story …but her and I ….well, we're together now"

"His mother? You mean you got it on with…. so you're a spare rib tickler now? You exchange the scamp fingers?"

"I have no idea what that means but I'm guessing it's vulgar"

"Sorry", replied Faith for some reason allowing herself to be softly chided.

"After your father died I knew no other man could ever measure up, and does it matter what form true love takes? What shell it comes in? You cannot deny your heart's true desires. For despite what my mother said love is not weakness, it is strength. It is bravery to let someone else in your heart despite knowing that it might kill you. It wasn't until Emma and I felt the true love echoing between us that the curse finally broke"

"So how did you explain to this Emma chick about the curse an' everything?"

"You seem to have missed the link here, for Emma is Snow's daughter. She's a Princess from our realm, but when she realised the truth of her parents desire for power and bloodshed she was sent away, did you not listen to that part dear? Anyway, when the curse came Emma was with them in the castle for once but they forced her into this magic closet and sent her to this world, but I have no idea why she ended up outside the boundaries of Storybrooke and aged into a full grown woman whereas the rest of us stayed the same. But do you think it's mere coincidence that both you and Emma wound up in Boston?", Regina asked with a quirked brow.

"Oh….right", Faith replied more confused than she was when they started this conversation.

"I know Emma wanted to love her mother but she couldn't get past Snow's true self serving nature, and so wished to have nothing more with her"

"Like Sorcha and Queen Bavmorda?"

"Who?", asked Regina with a frown.

"Haven't you ever seen 'Willow'? With Val Kilmer and that short dude?"

"Well I…."

"There you are! You didn't tell me there were like three coffee shops on this street. We've been in every one of them", came a sigh of frustration from behind the former Queen.

"Sorry honey", replied Regina as her eyes sparkled into life and her smile brightened accepting Emma's kiss on her succulent lips.

"Ewww, gross", said the young boy standing next to them.

"Right back atcha kid", said Faith with a shake of the head.

"Oh, this is Esme….I mean Faith. Faith, this is Henry", Regina said proudly but with a touch of fear wondering how the young girl would react.

"As in...my brother?"

"Well yes", Regina replied seeing Henry smile widely at the young woman who shifted nervously at his innocent grin.

"Man, this is too much…I need…", said Faith standing up waiting for her head to explode from information overload.

"I know this is a lot for you to take in, to try and make sense out of. Wait, where are you going?", asked Regina worriedly.

"I…I need to think…just…I gotta go…", Faith said with a frown not knowing what would come next.

"Esme…..Faith? My darling?"

"Just…", sighed the slayer knowing only one person could help her with this, "I..I need to talk to someone"

"But…..", Regina called out as she watched Faith spin on her heels and nearly sprint from the coffee shop leaving the former Queen reeling in her wake.

"So she did freak out then?", asked Emma placing a comforting hand on Regina's back sensing the sorrow rippling through her system.

"Yes, I hoped she wouldn't but….I imagine it's a lot to take in", sighed Regina slumping back into her chair as her strength seemed to erode with each pace of the slayer who fled from her gaze.

"You mean going from a lonely girl from the rough side of town to finding out you're from a magical realm and a Queen loves you. Been there, done that", smiled Emma sliding her arm around Regina's shoulders.

"But she's so…..I've laid all my cards on the table. What if….what if she believes all those stupid stories about me being evil?"

"Lemme go talk to her, one Beantown girl to another", said Emma with a squeeze of her arm.

"Thankyou honey, but please…. be gentle"

"Hey, you know me", Emma winked back as she snapped to her feet and scampered out on to Main Street in pursuit of Faith.

"So that was my sister?", Henry asked as he picked up a menu wondering if the hot chocolate in California was as good as it was on the east coast.

"Yes honey, she is", Regina said with a sad smile.

"Right. So did you ask her just what a 'slayer' was?", the boy asked wanting to know every facet about the newest entry to his unusually assembled family.

"Not yet, but I will do. I just hope I'm not too late"