"Sorry I'm late," Barry said, quickly walking into the police building and going up to Joe. "The cab driver just –"
"It's fine, Barry," Joe said, "You're just on time actually, we need to get down to a crime scene."
"Oh, perfect," Barry said.
"Just come on," Joe said, pressing a coffee into Barry's hands and heading for his car outside.
"Oh, thanks," Barry said, "You know I don't usually drink coffee, though."
"Figured you burn through it fast enough now that the caffeine won't get to you too much anymore."
"Worth a shot," Barry said, taking a sip. They got into the car and Joe started to drive off.
"So what's the crime scene?" Barry asked, still sipping the coffee.
"Robbery?"
"What place?"
"Some jewelry store," Joe answered. Barry was about to ask more, but just then Joe turned up the radio. Barry drank the coffee while looking out the window, quickly getting lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't until they Joe stopped the car that Barry realized where they were.
"Star Labs?" Barry asked, looking at Joe in confusion. For maybe a full second, Barry was utterly confused, then the sigh from Joe and that familiar look on his face flashed a light bulb
"You tricked me," Barry said.
"Barry –"
"They called you?"
"Dr. Wells –"
"I can't believe you lied to me and told me there was a robbery!"
"Barry, come on, let's just go inside and get this over with."
"I'm not twelve anymore, Joe, you can't drag me in there," Barry said. His stomach was clenching but he was telling himself it was just anger and not fear.
"Barry, I know you don't like –"
"I'm a perfectly capable adult, Joe, I don't need you to lie to me – now I'm going back to work, where I'm supposed to be right now."
Barry got out and slammed the door to the car, already looking for a taxi.
"Barry," Joe said, going after him, "Dr. Wells called me and said you had to have some bloodwork done. He emphasized that this was very important, and that a physical examination, to make sure you are not going through adverse effects, was imperative."
"I'm fine," Barry said.
Joe grabbed his arm. "Well then let's go make sure."
Barry ripped his arm away. "I'm fine. I don't need any physical. And I don't need you to coerce me into going. I can take care of myself."
"I know that," Joe said, softer, his hands open, "Which is why, I brought you here. Because I know that you'll make the decision to take care of yourself."
Barry clenched his hands, wanting nothing more than to run as fast as he could as far as he could away from there. The fear was needling its way into his brain again. He did not want to go in there. He really, really did not want to go in there.
"And I know," Joe said, placing a hand carefully onto Barry's shoulder, "that it can be very hard for you. Which is why I am here."
Barry looked up at him, working his jaw. It felt like his muscles were rung tight as a wire.
"I really don't want to," he said, despite himself.
Joe took a step forward, leading him towards Star Labs.
"It'll be fine, Barry, I promise."
Logically Barry knew that there were a million reasons for testing. They still had no idea really how he was doing what he did, or why he was even alive. They still had no idea what any side effects could be. They still had no idea if his body could hold the answers to diseases and disorders. And at the very least, he had been in a coma for months, had to consume a ridiculous about of calories, and hadn't been to a regular doctor's appointment in over two years, though he would deny it if Joe asked.
But none of that stopped the crippling desire to run out of that exam room as soon as he stepped foot in it. It didn't help that here he was, being led in by his pseudo father to the dreaded doctor's office like some five year old.
"For the record," Barry said upon entering and seeing the three scientists ready and expecting his arrival, "I feel personally betrayed."
"Sorry, man," Cisco said, "Desperate times."
"It wouldn't have been a problem if you returned any of your calls," Caitlin said.
Barry cringed. Dr. Wells smiled at him and patted the bed already set up for him. "Come on, Barry. We'll get everything done quick for you."
Barry gingerly sat down and reclined on the bed, wringing his hands together. Caitlin started with the usual monitors – the machinery to monitor his brain waves and pulse – he was used to that stuff. They used it often.
"Heart rate's up, but you're nervous. Try to keep calm," Cisco said, watching the monitors.
"I am," Barry said.
"Blood pressure normal," Caitlin said.
"Good," Dr. Wells said, writing something down. "What about your injuries, Barry?"
"They're all healed," he said, just as Cisco leaned down to take a look at the place where a cut had been.
"Hm," Dr. Wells just said, looking to Caitlin.
"Alright, now just look at me," Cisco said, shining a light into one eye and then the other. He continued the action when Barry felt a hand on his arm. He immediately jerked it back, spinning on Caitlin, who held a needle in her other hand.
"It's alright, Barry," she said, gently, "Just keep looking at Cisco for me."
Joe's hand was on his shoulder again, and Cisco was smiling, making some joke, trying to get his attention, but Barry was shaking his head back and forth, looking at Caitlin and holding his arm back. Suddenly his breathing had kicked up and his head was spinning.
"No, no, I can't," Barry said, pushing himself up on the bed. Caitlin pulled the needle back, out of view.
"Yes, you can," she said gently again, "just look at Cisco for me, OK? You'll barely even feel it."
His breathing faltered, catching in his throat, and then suddenly he was gone.
There was a whoosh of air and Barry was across the room, all the monitors ripped off and papers flying. He was pulling down his sleeves, tugging at the bottoms.
"I can't do this right now," he said too fast, clenching his hands again and shaking his head. "It's just too much at once, I'll come back."
"Barry," Dr. Wells started.
"No," he said, "I'm sorry, I just can't."
Joe took a step towards him and then Barry was another five feet back. "Barry," he said softly, "Come back and sit down. We'll take it nice and slow, try again."
Barry shook his head. "I can't do it right now, Joe."
"I know, I understand, Barry," he said, taking a careful step forward. "We won't do anything, OK, just come sit down, alright. Let them put the monitors back on, and we'll sit for a minute."
Barry could feel his heart thudding in his chest. He pulled at the edge of the collar of his shirt. He was sweating and his hands were trembling.
"Cisco," Dr. Wells said, "Why don't you get him some water."
"Right," Cisco said before darting out of the room. He came back a minute later, and after a pause, started walking towards Barry. Barry stayed where he was. He was starting to feel sick.
Cisco handed him the water and Barry took it, hand still trembling. He opened the bottle and took a sip, then another, letting out a deep breath. Cisco tentatively put a hand out against his back. "Come on," he said, leading him back to the bed. Barry hesitated in front of it, but sat down again, gripping the water in his hands, looking anxiously from face to face. They finished putting the monitors back in place, and then Caitlin carefully brought the syringe back out.
Barry's eyes stayed on it like glue. Immediately his hands started shaking again and his heart rate and breathing kicked up.
"I'm going to go really slow, OK, Barry," Caitlin said, "It's just me. I promise, you'll barely feel it. I'll be really quick." Joe's hand clamped down on Barry's shoulder, but Barry barely noticed. Caitlin got the syringe to within about an inch of Barry's arm when he pulled it away again, and it was tucked in next to his chest.
Barry swallowed hard and forced his arm to go straight again. "Sorry," he said, "I'm trying really – I just – I panicked." Caitlin moved the needle towards him again and the same thing happened.
Barry took a shuddering breath, wiping his hands down his face. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I just can't – I can't stay still." His whole body was practically vibrating. The panic was racing through his blood. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes, his heart feeling like it was going to explode. He just kept seeing the needle sticking out of his arm in front of his eyes and he felt like he was going to pass out.
"Barry," Caitlin said, "It's alright. It's just a needle. It only hurts for a second."
"I know," he ground out, shaking, "I know, I just can't –"
Caitlin slowly handed the needle to Cisco, then took both of Barry's hands in hers. She brought them down to his lap, holding them there. "Shh, it's OK," she said, "We're all afraid of something. Just take nice deep breaths, come on, like this." She started taking in long, even breaths.
Barry tried to match her, but somehow they still came out shuddering.
"That's good," she said, "Everything's alright." Her eyes flited to Cisco for just one second, and on cue he started to move in towards Barry's arm.
Barry jerked back with a sharp intake of breath, but Caitlin still had his hands in hers. "Hey, look at me," she said, "It's OK. I'm right here. Joe's right here. You're alright."
Barry flinched away, screwing his eyes shut for a second and squeezing tight on Caitlin's hands. Joe rubbed his shoulder as the needle pierced his skin.
"Ah," Barry said, the pain, although minor, seeming to cause a ripple across his skin, adrenaline spiking, causing ever nerve ending to tingle.
"Shh, it's alright, it's alright," Caitlin said.
"Almost done," Joe said.
Barry clenched his jaw, shudders running through him. For a second he couldn't breathe, then his heart kept pounding and he sucked in another sharp breath.
"Done," Cisco said, removing the syringe of blood and quickly taking it away for testing.
Caitlin smiled at him. "It's all done," she said, still holding his hands.
Barry opened his eyes, still trembling. Dr. Wells wrapped a bandage around his arm and carefully rolled his shirt sleeve down over it.
"I feel sick," Barry said.
"Drink some more water," Joe said, unscrewing the cap for him.
Barry took a few sips, the grey color fading a little from his face. After a few minutes his breathing and pulse were almost back to normal.
"Do you want something to eat, Barry?" Dr. Wells asked.
It seemed like a long time for the question to make sense inside Barry's head. He shook his head slowly.
"You should eat something anyway," Caitlin said. Dr. Wells came back with a sandwich in a couple minutes. Barry took a bite halfheartedly. He tried to smile to hide how he was still shaking a little bit, but it melted off his face as soon as Caitlin let go of his hands to get something from the tray again.
"I think maybe that's enough for today," Joe said.
Caitlin looked down at the tray. "We can do what's left another day."
Barry felt a momentary rush of relief at that. He leaned back farther on the bed.
"Sounds good," Cisco said.
"Why don't you take Barry home, Joe," Dr. Wells said.
Barry didn't need to hear that twice. He got up off the bed and was at the door before anyone else could say anything.
"Get some, sleep," Caitlin said.
"You did great, Barry," Dr. Wells said right before Joe caught up to him and they started walking out.
Barry didn't feel like he did great, he felt like he let the fear take control of him again, like he had embarrassed himself in front of his friends and had acted like a child. On the ride home he alternated between berating himself for not just getting it done with, reliving the massive relief that it was over, and working through the remaining bits of panic that always seemed to stick around afterwards.
Joe walked into his apartment with him, but within five minutes Barry was passed out on the couch. Joe just smiled and decided to leave him alone for a little while. He'd check up on him later. He walked out, closing the door quietly behind him.
OK guys what do you think? Not meant to be Barry/Caitlin but read it however you want – next chapter some Iris and Barry brother/sister type, but maybe something if you squint - Review please! I'm thinking a run in with Captain Cold again soon – it kind of bothered me in the episode how he healed so quickly even though it's supposed to be the one thing that could kill him, something that could slow him down. Might make it a bit harder to recover from then they did in the show – let me know your thoughts!