"I repeat myself, what the hell are you doing here, Gold? Have you come for…..", Regina snorted as her palms crackled with irate magic as she glanced to her daughter.
"Calm down dear, it's just a conversation", Gold replied as he leaned on his cane and stepped forward into the Mayoral mansion ignoring Regina's gawping at his ungentlemanly conduct.
"So who the hell are you?", Faith asked warily as she felt her knuckles whiten sensing the anger and fraught of her mother.
"Please Faith, this isn't what you think", Giles said as he fidgeted nervously, "This is Mr Gold, or you may know him as Rumplestiltskin….he….he's my father"
"What?….like in the real deal kind of Rumplestiltskin?", Buffy said blankly, "You mean he's the actual guy? As in 'guess my name and I'll stomp through the floor in a hissy fit' kind of Rumpelstiltskin?"
"Pfft, like you're one to talk about stomping your foot in a hissy fit", mumbled Faith earning a slap to the back of the head from her girlfriend.
"Hey, just who was it who had that petulant huff after Austin beat The Rock?", Buffy quipped back cheekily.
"Touche"
"Girls…please", Regina snapped a little more harshly than she's planned, "This is serious….ish"
"Sorry", both slayers said back in unison.
"So you're the bad ass Dark One everyone is shittin' themselves over?", snorted Faith stepping closer until she stood shoulder to shoulder with her mother. "Some weirdo with a gangsta lean?"
"Excuse me?", Gold said with surprise.
"Come on dude, you look like a clown without make-up", taunted the slayer feeling a strange tingle flow through her skin as she could hear Emma try and stifle her giggles in the background. "I thought your heart was meant to be blacker than a goth's clothesline"
"Be careful Fai, he's all super-hyped with the magic mojo", began Buffy through gritting teeth.
"Er, does she come with subtitles?", Mr Gold asked his son nodding towards the blonde slayer.
"Believe me father, it takes some getting used to", Giles replied with a slight smirk. "But this isn't the time to berate Buffy on her mangled grasp of our mother tongue"
"And you must be the Princess that was stolen", Mr Gold said with a wavering smile as his focus snapped on Faith, "It's a pleasure to meet you at last, Your Highness. She has your eyes Regina"
"Dude, you are way creepy", the brunette slayer retorted finding his smile uncomfortable, "Shouldn't you be online pretending you're a marine and grooming some twelve year old boy?"
"Not now Faith. So are you going to explain yourself Bae?", Regina snapped as Giles and his father stood in the hallway feeling the putdowns and glares barrel into them with all the muster of a gaggle of ovulating ladies.
"Faith. Buffy. I've failed you as both as a Watcher as well as a decent human being, I see that now. It's almost as if my negligence was conjured up merely to facilitate some half arsed plot twist", Giles rued dolefully, "But now I have a chance to rectify it, to all of you"
"How?", asked his blonde charge with no idea what was going on.
"Willow", Giles said plainly hoping the slayers wouldn't punch first and ask questions later.
"If you hurt one of Faith's friends then I will rip off your face and use it to wipe my ass with", snarled Regina as her eyes narrowed.
"Regina, please….", Mr Gold said softly offering a small smile.
"Saying please doesn't work on me anymore", she spat back with a small air of victory.
"I know, I was just being polite", Gold said with a nod, "Things are different now, I'm different now"
"Oh really?"
"You more than anyone should understand the true meaning of sacrifice Regina. When I realised Belle's heart truly belonged to Red then….as much as it hurt….I couldn't stand by and watch her suffer, though I loved her I needed to let her go so she could find her happy ending. Regina, between you and I we've been at the centre of so much hurt, but now we have a chance to truly mend our errors. To give the happy endings we all deserve. We've all been wrong in so many things and as the saying goes :- 'there is no sin unforgiveable for those who seek redemption' "
"But what about Willow? What did you do to her?", Buffy sneered angrily.
"Nothing that bad dearie", Gold smiled, "But now you're here Regina….well you may have ruined everything"
"Me?", coughed the interim Mayor in surprise.
"Yes, I actually got to Sunnydale before you Your Majesty", smiled Mr Gold, "And I tracked down my son, well it's a long story but we talked… for a very long time. I won't go into the drawn out prosaic details of it all as it will take way too long and I can already see your eyes starting to glaze over, but he's given me a chance to redeem myself in his eyes. And the young Miss Rosenberg is the way"
"How?", asked Buffy with worry etched into her tone.
"Like this", Mr Gold said said sweeping a hand over his face changing it into the mottled visage of Rumplestiltskin, "By adopting my old persona I have terrified and hurt her, thought only in a minor way"
"And how exactly is that helping her?", Buffy spat clenching her fists ready to let them fly.
"Willow has leapt into magic without thinking of the consequences so when I came to see my son he asked me to fix his mistakes. So with a little magic of my own I hope to show her the path she is on, how no good will come of her dalliance with the dark arts"
"Despite what you may think she is in no real danger", Giles said a little brighter, "It's all a charade"
"Indeed. I believe the term is 'scaring her straight'. By enforcing such darkness on her she will learn to temper her magic and seek help in learning it the right way", Gold said proudly. "Before she crosses that line and her soul does indeed belong to the Dark One"
"That sounds kind of like a cheap cop out to me", Faith said with curiosity, "But The Dark One? Ain't that you?"
"Not here, outside the borders of our realm the Dark One has no claim over my soul yet his powers still infuse my being, I don't know why but I'm not going to question the fact that I am now free of its evil shackles. The power of the Dark One is not like what you've been lead to believe, it's more about the manipulation of idiots than acts of pure evil, much like Sarah Palin. But that damned Snow and her cadre of sycophants wrote the stories and spread their lies throughout the kingdoms. It's a long story and I'm sure the tale has been changed many times in this world and under different names, but the power of the Dark One has seeped into this world for untold aeons"
"But Giles said this world was already really old, and demons have been around since forever. He said the last demon leaving this dimension bit a human and they became the first vampire", Buffy said trying to be a smart ass.
"I did", said the Watcher before his father cut him off.
"Oh what utter bollocks. What about dinosaurs? Did they not exist before humans, are you telling me that demons and dinosaurs were bedfellows? And what part does evolution play in this scenario? Were there Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon vampires? Or only since modern man came about did demons come here?"
"He's got a point B", Faith nodded, "Like I've said before, it's like the crap about one slayer being born into every generation. I mean, we've had three slayers here in the last two years so it seems that into every generation about a dozen slayers are born. Face it B, we're not a rare breed"
"Ok, I get it", Buffy backed up, "So then ….er….Gold? What's your story"
"I was once a normal man, though cowardly, and in my desperation to protect my son the essence of the Dark One took over my body and I became little more than a puppet to a malevolent spirit. But now it cannot control me here…..I have a chance to make it up to my son", he said casting a sorrowed gaze towards Giles who offered a faint glimmer of a pride ridden smile in return.
"Why now?"
"Human weakness….it never goes away", Gold replied with an aching soul.
"I've been foolish and selfish in my duties as a Watcher. I need redemption as much as anyone", Giles said with shame prickling his heart.
"And why should we trust someone who drives a 2CV?", grunted Faith, "It's hard enough trying to take you seriously when you wear that stupid tweed hat"
"What's wrong with my flat cap?", countered Giles.
"Dude, everyone knows the flat cap is merely the homophobic cousin of the beret"
"You know this all sounds complicated, convenient and kinda contrived", Faith said with a confused look.
"It is, and it's full of inaccuracies, hypocrisy and contradictions. But try and keep up dear", Regina said squeezing her daughters hand a little more.
"So what's your part in all this?", said Buffy to the Queen.
"I….well….Rumplestiltskin taught me how to use magic, so I would never again be a victim. But over time I equalled, surpassed and would finally erase his legacy as my magic comes from my soul and was never bartered for. It's why I had no price to pay for it. You see, my mother was addicted to magic when I was born so it lay dormant in me until Rumpelstiltskin showed me how to unleash it"
"Why would he do that?"
"His magic isn't as strong as natural born magic like mine, it's why he deceives and feeds on the weakness of others, and it's their deals which give him his power much in the same way as pseudo despot Rupert Murdoch. He wanted me as an ally but when he tried to turn me to darker magic I refused. Does it not seem strange that if Rumpelstiltskin wanted to come this world so badly, why didn't he just enact the curse himself?"
"It's true", Gold said feeling strange at being to admit his failings after all this time.
"He could create the curse but wasn't powerful enough to make it happen, that's why he needed me but he really had no idea just how strong my magic is, it's always been a part of me", said Regina with a pause as she turned to Faith, "The same with you"
"Me?", squawked the slayer.
"Yes, you"
"Well tie me in a rubber sack and throw a cat in", gawped Faith in disbelief.
"Yes my darling. I was going to tell you soon enough, but when you were born your soul was infused with my magic and it lies dormant in you, and I think it's time to unearth it"
"Ok, now you're getting' all mumbo jumbo on me again", Faith snorted not wanting to believe her mother's words.
"It's no lie, as my daughter you have all the powers of my magicks. It lies deep within your soul, powers which dwarf that of being a mere slayer"
"Hey", yelped Buffy at the sleight, feeling as unappreciated as David Blaine in London.
"Haven't you felt that energy since I came to town?", Regina aske staring deeply into Faith's unflinching eyes, "A tingling in your fingers, a murmur of power under your skin?"
"Well….yeah. But I just put it down to too much Red Bull"
"No dear, it's like a symbiotic relationship with you and I. In the presence of each other it's like we can feed and combine our magic. Now we are on the Hellmouth we can use our powers, we can help so many and make this a safe place to live once more. We can end the heartache and pain which has been married to this town for so long. I can show you the true essence of magic"
"What?", coughed Faith envisioning hour after hour studying ancient dusty tomes.
"I can show you how to harness the elements, it'll help protect you with slaying too. Before you start you have to find that affinity with your deep rooted powers, you can't just read a few books and recite the spells without thinking or else things will get bad very quickly. You must understand and create a harmony with the elements before any true magic can flow", Regina said sagely.
"Magick is from my realm, using it blindly in this world binds your soul to the Dark One as he is the conduit which makes the magic flow. Even though it no longer holds me hostage to its whim, I can still feel the Dark One inside me and I know it seeks to corrupt and taint any naïve soul in this world. And your friend Willow has been foolish enough to rush into the supernatural without a teacher, a guide to show her how to use magic in harmony with this realm", Mr Gold echoed.
"And that is my fault", Giles said sadly, "My past has blinded me to what I should've done, to what I should've been for her. I focussed on you Buffy for too long without realising how far Willow had slipped. But if we keep up this charade for just a little longer then I think it will scare Willow into controlling her magic before her soul is too darkened"
"Hey, I think I get it now", Faith piped up turning to her mother, "You're like Vader"
"I beg your pardon?", Regina replied with a furrowed brow.
"Rumpelstiltskin was like the all-powerful Emperor, feeding on your fears and insecurities until you would turn evil like him. But he couldn't control you 'cos your heart still felt love and that made you stronger than him, so you turned round and whooped his ass. You turned to the dark side because of loss and fear…."
"I never turned to the dark side, those are just silly stories. I was never evil despite the lies that Snow and her cretinous entourage spread", Regina replied.
"So does that make Emma some kind of Luke Skywalker?", Buffy asked with a smirk.
"Nah, Emski was a bounty hunter…..I guess that makes her more of a Boba Fett. Way cooler", smiled Faith.
"So …..what happens now?", Buffy asked as Regina allowed the magic gathered in her hands to drift away into nothingness.
"I am here in this realm now, it's the price I have to pay. I can never return home or else the Dark One will find corporeal form again and begin his reign of terror once more", Gold said leaning heavily on his cane.
"Well that's just peachy for you", Buffy drawled sarcastically, "But I'm still really pissed at you Giles"
"Me too", snorted Faith backing up her girlfriend who hadn't been this irked since Max left Sepultura.
"I know, and I accept that", Giles replied with a faltering smile, "But let me make it up to you. Between my father and I… we can help save Willow, bring her back from the precipice of idiocy and her eventual slavery to the Dark One. We can start over and teach her properly, start at the basics and teach her restraint rather than let her ego control her powers"
"I ask again, what happens now?"
"I have no idea"
"My visions of the future are hazy at best", Mr Gold said as he closed his eyes in seeming concentration.
"You know, I've never believed in your prophecies", Regina snorted staring down Mr Gold, "You're always so vague that your predictions could be applied to pretty much anything, just like any self-important gurning buffoon who works in the horoscope business. And of course there's the matter of self-fulfilling prophecy"
"Huh?", Faith asked.
"You tell someone about a prophecy and they go ahead and do something just because they've been told it's their destiny. They wouldn't have done it otherwise, it's a complete scam"
"I can see your point Your Majesty", Mr Gold acquiesced, "And you're more right than you know"
"Is anyone listening to me?", huffed Buffy looking around the room, "Where do we go from here?"
"Well there is a very serious matter to attend to", Regina said with a firm nod, "Something which will change our lives forevermore. An event which is more important than any trifling matter involving that redhead berk"
"And that is?"
"It's the Sunnydale Apple Pie baking competition…..tomorrow!"