Where My Heart Lies
Chapter 15: Forgiving & Moving Forward
Edward
Bella had declined my marriage proposal citing we needed more time to adjust to being with each other. I won't lie I was a little disappointed in her saying 'no' but understood her reason. It has been nice being able to walk up to my daughters being in the same house as me. I have come to realize it's the little things in life that means the most.
"Are you dressed?" Bella asks as she knocks on the door. It's been a month since I have asked her to marry me, and my parents have decided to have a dinner.
"I am, but don't feel like going out," I mutter as she laughs at me.
"Yes, I know the feeling. I tried calling Esme to tell her, but she just said they would bring the dinner here instead," she half mutters softly. Yes things were tensed all around. Bella had not spoken to Alice or Rosalie just like me, but my mom was adamant to fix things.
"How bad could one dinner be?" I ask as she chuckles.
"Well knowing your family it could be a disaster?" She replies as I know the feeling. This could be a great family meal or the start of a family feud. Bella helped me down the few steps on the porch as I watch the tans chasing after Rosie my dog who had been staying with my parents.
"Girls," Bella says as I hobble toward the SUV getting in and putting my cane on the side of my leg. Carlie got in behind me as Emmalin was behind Bella.
"Mom, is Grandma Esme going to make everyone be nice," Carlie asks as I turn to look at Bella.
"What do you mean?" Bella asks as she looks in the rearview mirror.
"I heard Uncle Emmett saying that you and daddy don't like Aunt Rosalie or Aunt Alice anymore is why you don't come, and visit when the family gets together," Emmalin say as I just chuckle softly.
"Well," Bella starts but then stops. It is quiet the rest of the way to my parents' house as I think of what to say about all of this to the girls.
"Carlie, Emmalin, I don't know what everyone else is saying about why we don't come, but it all comes down to your Aunt's not being nice. When I was missing your Aunts were mean to your mom, they didn't help her out," I say as Bella turns to look at me.
"Like when we were at dinner with Grandpa Charlie," Emmalin say as I look over at Bella with a questioning look.
"Yes," she says as I see the girls nodding their heads. "I don't know what is going to happen in there, but you two are the most important things in your dad's and my life. Neither one of us would change what has happened. We are here together," she says as I smile. We might not be perfect but Bella was right we were together and that is more than what some might be.
My mom was waiting at the door as we walked up the steps to the door. I felt Bella intertwine her fingers with mine as the girls went ahead of me. We were working on becoming a family, and all the little things that Bella was doing was helping me appreciate having her in my life. I would take back the stupid things I had done to her over time if I could, but the idea that she was here with me right now made me all warm on the inside.
"Great you guys are here. I thought I might have to have Emmett go pick you two up," she says as I walk through the door behind Bella and the girls.
"Esme, the door has locks," Bella says half joking, but I heard the underlying intention in her words.
"Yes, Bella they do, but family should be able to get together for a Sunday Brunch without issues," she replies with a tight smile as her warning is very clear in her words.
"Mom," I mutter like a little child as Bella laughs.
"We'll behave if they do," she replies squeezing my hand as I smile.
"Right, how old are the two of you," my mom asks as I watch the twins running toward Alice's kids. We joined everyone in the family room before heading to the dining room table.
"Let's all bow our heads and be thankful for the whole family being here," my dad says as I look over to Bella who is looking anywhere but at the people around the table.
My dad says his prayer as we all bow our heads. I was very thankful for just being alive really. I was even more thankful for Bella never giving up on finding me. I was lost in my thoughts as my dad finished his prayer. Carlie was pulling on my shirt sleeve as I almost dropped the bowl being passed to me.
"Sorry," I mumble as I put some mashed potatoes on her plate and mine. I then hand them off to Bella who gives me a puzzled expression.
The food is all passed around as small talk starts. I ignore most of the looks from Rose or Alice each time they look in my direction. I really wasn't ready to talk with them. I knew they were sorrowful for what they did, but their actions hurt Bella and the girls. It was the principle of the issue that still bothered me.
"Bella how are you and Edward doing," Jasper asks as I finally look up at him.
"We are actually at a really good spot. We have talked a lot about the future and what we both want. Edward has been doing well with his therapy and might go back to work part-time," she says softly as I knew that already. She was right though we had been talking a lot about our future.
"I asked Bella to marry me," I blurt out as the chatter seems to cease as everyone turns to look at the two of us. "Did I say that out loud," I mutter as I look toward Bella who was blushing.
"Yes," she mutters back as I give her a weak smile.
"What did you say?" Alice asks quickly.
"No," we both say at the same time.
"You told him 'no'," Alice repeats as I play with the apple pie in front of me.
"We were having a very emotional day. At the time I thought he asked only to find a solution to a problem. I know that Edward has always been the one, but I just didn't want to rush things," Bella says giving me a bright smile. I knew all of this as we have already talked about it.
"Do you think you will get married?" Rosalie asks her first question toward us. Edward and I both look over at her.
"Maybe, but not right now we are just enjoying our lives and spending time with our children. We have our whole lives ahead of us," I say as Bella smiles at me. The conversation is easy from that point forward. Bella and I both talk freely about the girls and our time together.
"Edward would you take a walk with us," Rosalie asks as the whole family began to head outside to watch the kids play.
"Go ahead," Bella tells me when I look toward her.
"Fine," I say as I head toward the stream that runs along the far side of my parents property.
"Edward we wanted to apologize for the way we treated Bella and the girls while you were missing," Alice says as she stops walking to sit on one of the old tree stumps that we use to use for our campfires when we were young.
"Don't you think you should be having this talk with Bella and not me," I say a little harsher than I should have.
"Alice and I have both tried to talk with Bella, but she refuses to speak with us," Rose says as I take a good look at my sisters. Alice was my twin, but I couldn't tell you how she could be so mean to the one person she missed for 5 long years. Rosalie has been a part of our family for as long as I could remember, but she really didn't like Bella that much.
"Why did you guys do what you did?" I ask as I see Rosie running toward us. She stops at my feet as I pet her.
"We were mad at her because she left you the first time only to hurt you even more the second time. Edward you finally seemed like yourself and then she decided that she was going back to where she had been living. It was hard for you," Alice says as I can hear the hurt in her voice.
"Yes it was hard, but I spoke with the girls every day. Bella didn't stop them from calling me or communicating with me once she left. I think we would have eventually found our way back to each other," I say as I knew this was true since Bella had said pretty much the same thing to me once.
"I guess we just didn't understand how she could freely walk away a second time," Rosalie says.
"Bella needed to take care of things before she even thought about a relationship with me. I would think you understood this when Bella came back to find me. She was the only one who didn't believe I was dead. Bella was the one you shunned," I snap as I stand up turning to head back to our parents house.
"Yes we did. We thought it was her fault you were gone. It hurt to see her here when she left you. It hurt to know you were gone and she was still alive," Rosalie yells at me as I turn to face her. She was crying. This wasn't Rosalie. "It hurt to think you were gone. Emmett lost a sparkle. The family seemed to be lost," she says slowly as I realize that it affected everyone.
"You guys," I say but before I could finish my thought I opened my arms as both of my sisters wrap their arms around me.
"It hurt," Alice mutters as she cries into my shoulder.
XOXOXOXO
Bella
When Edward came back he seemed different. He wasn't as happy as he was when we arrived, but I didn't push him. As I gathered the girls up to head home I reflected on the day. I was wondering what he talked with Rose and Alice about.
"I'm going to take a shower," he mumbles as I pull into the driveway. I get the girls out as I watch him walk into the house. It was killing me not knowing what happened. I got both girls cleaned up and ready for bed before heading back down stairs to let Rosie out before locking up.
"Hey," he says as I walk into the living room. He was sitting in the dark watching out the bay window.
"Are you alright?" I ask before sitting down next to him.
"Yeah, I just had a very overwhelming conversation with rose and Alice. We talked, cried and even yelled at each other," he says as he laughs a little.
"I guess that is good, but you seemed upset when we left," I say as I begin to play with the fringes on the throw behind me.
"I was trying to process everything. I know why you were made at them, and I will stand beside you no matter what. Yet, I miss them," he says as I smile. I knew he missed his family. I wasn't keeping him from them.
"It's alright," I reply as he looks over at me from hooded eyes.
"How is it alright?" he whispers as I lean into him.
"Edward, I don't hold any grudges with them. I have long forgiven them. I would never want to willingly keep you from your family. I just need time to cope with how they treated me. I have to remind myself it wasn't easy for them either," I say as he nods his head.
"They told me they were angry with you and took it out on our daughters. I forgave them, but said I would need time," he says as I chuckle.
"I would have done the same thing," I say softly as he pulls me closer.
"I know," he replies as we watch the fading sun go down in our front window. We were working on becoming better people for each other, but in reality we were growing up. Edward and I were learning that our past mistakes didn't define us, but they gave us the stepping stones to becoming better people. I was learning to lean on him for help as he was learning to come to me. If our younger selves could have done that to begin with, my goal though is to not hold back, but to move forward. I wasn't going to waste any more time on past regrets. Also, if Edward asked me to marry him again I would definitely say, 'yes'.