Barry sat at a table alone at Jitters, sipping a coffee and waiting for Iris to finish her shift. Meanwhile Iris was watching, handing customers their money back and grabbing lattes while furtively glancing at Barry every couple minutes.

He had his head down, staring at the table. For once his phone was nowhere to be seen, not to mention he was actually sitting down instead of leaning against the counter, criticizing her coffee making skills or going on about some new science tidbit he had found out. He was off, and he had been since he had gotten sick, maybe a little before that too. She figured he'd be better by now, that he'd have bounced back with time, but it had been a week and it seemed he was always either edgy and jumping or slipping into quiet brooding.

When the clock hit twelve she punched out, grabbed a coffee for herself, and slid into the seat across from Barry.

He looked up. "Hey."

"Hey," she said back.

They exchanged small talk for about five minutes before Iris stopped, silent until Barry looked up at her.

"What?" he asked at the look on her face.

"Do you want to go somewhere? Back to your apartment? What's going on, Barry, you look awful and you're barely talking to me."

He shrugged. "I'm tired."

She frowned. "Do you still feel sick?"

He shook his head quickly. "No."

"You're still panicky?"

He shrugged.

"You've gotta talk to me Barry."

He shrugged again and picked at a muffin he was eating. Iris saw him wince.

"Are you hurt?"

"No," he said, and the look of confusion was genuine on his face.

"You just winced."

"Oh, it's my tooth," he said, working his jaw and scrunching his nose.

It took about three seconds for Barry to realize he shouldn't have said that.

"Did you –"

"No, and it's fine," he said.

"Barry –"

"End of discussion," he said.

Iris dropped it, watching him carefully as he took a few more bites, all without the aforementioned wince.

"Well," Iris said, "As I was saying, is this still about the medical stuff?"

"It's always about the medical stuff." If Iris didn't know better she'd swear she could detect a bitter note in his voice.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"You were there."

"It's over. It's done. You're OK."

"I know," he said.

"Then why are you still upset?"

Barry was getting agitated, Iris could tell. "You know why."

"Do you want to go back to your apartment?"

"I don't need to go back home, Iris, I'm fine."

She gave him a look.

"Relatively."

"Do you have to do anything else?"

"No. Not right now anyway."

Barry, taking a bite of a muffin, suddenly winced and stopped.

"Are you OK?" Iris asked.

"Yeah," Barry said, shaking his head, "Yeah, it's fine."

He kept going, but on taking another bite, the same thing happened. After that, Barry put the muffin down, but Iris didn't miss the slight shake in his hands before he hid them under the table.

"Barry, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, "My tooth, it's fine. Are you meeting Eddie for dinner tonight or are you free? I was thinking maybe we could –"

"Barry," Iris said slowly. "You know, the last time I went with you to the dentist was three years ago. Now, the last time I went to the doctors with you was two years ago, and apparently that's the last time you went too. Please tell me the last time –"

"I went to the dentist, Iris, it's fine." He looked down as soon as he said it.

"Barry."

"I did. I just might not have you know actually gone into the actual office."

"Oh my God, Barry –"

"It's just teeth – it's fine. I just need a little ice and I'll –"

Iris already had her phone out. "Yeah, Eddie can you call your brother – yes the dental surgeon," she looked at Barry. "Barry needs an appointment ASAP. Just, please, yeah and tell him Barry's not great with dentists. Love you too babe, bye."

"I have a dentist!" Barry yelled.

"Yeah, and Eddie's brother can get you an appointment today."

"Iris –"

"I know, you don't like sudden things – but I have all day off and I know you do too, so let's go."

"I'm not going," he said, "This isn't a life or death thing – you can't guilt me on this one – it's just a tooth."

Iris gave him the look.

"I'm not going," he said.

Twenty minutes later Barry was in a taxi on his way to a dentist office across town. Granted, he had his best I-am-extremely-pissed-and-also-you-owe-me-like-five-gallons-of-ice-cream-after-this-is-done face along with his arms crossed and his face set to a scowl, but he was in the taxi.

Iris had her hand on his arm, speaking encouragingly.

"I know this was a bit sooner than you wanted – I was hoping for a couple hours to relax first, but Eddie said there was an opening now and it's the only one in the day, and that's with pulling a few strings."

Barry was silent.

"He said he's having the best hygienist work with you. It's probably a cavity."

Silence.

"Barry, you're a grown adult and a super intelligent forensic scientist, stop glowering like you're five."

"I'm not glowering, I'm just not speaking with you," Barry said.

"That is not helping your case," Iris deadpanned.

They arrived shortly, and after a brief period in the waiting room were let in. When Barry got up to go inside Iris stood up too and he glared at her.

"Oh I am not waiting out here," she said, "You'd probably climb out the bathroom window."

He scowled some more and they were led in to the room where Barry sat down on the chair and Iris on another seat nearby. Not out the window. He would just run and magically appear back at his apartment. Where it was nice. And didn't smell like rubbing alcohol. Not to mention he was locking the door and Iris wasn't coming in, the door be damned, she could knock it down if she wanted to.

The hygienist came in and after the formalities she had Barry's mouth open and was poking and prodding it with that stupid pointy torture device. She was in the middle of examining the tooth that was troubling Barry when she hit a sensitive spot, and a stab of pain ran straight from the tooth deep into his jaw.

Barry almost jumped up then and afterwards his hands shook like he was in a vibrating chair but the hygienist was good and was much more carful around that tooth afterwards. Barry didn't feel any more pain, besides the slight discomfort of the metal think poking at his tooth. He was dizzy when she was done, gripping the edges of the chair because Iris was too far away and he was not asking to hold her hand like a two year old.

"Alright, you have a fair sized cavity in there but everything looks OK. You'll need to come back to get that fixed, and another time to get a regular cleaning done. And you need to floss more."

Barry stopped paying attention after that. Two visits. Not one. And he did have a cavity, a bad cavity, one that would require Novocain and drilling and bright lights and him having to lay still for an extended period of time. Iris made him the appointments, the cavity in another week and the cleaning a week after that. They were in the car and pulling up on his street before he realized Iris was driving to his apartment. They were inside before he spoke at all. Two visits. One cavity. Drilling. Novocain. His teeth didn't heal. Oh God, but the Novocain – the Novocain wouldn't work, he realized suddenly.

He broke out into a sweat. Caitlin, for all her skills, was not a dentist. He was going to have to go get a cavity filled and they would give him Novocain and he would feel everything. They couldn't even put him out, sedate him – laughing gas wouldn't work. He'd always had laughing gas when he had to get stuff done – it relaxed him just enough for him to let them do the work. He couldn't use it anymore – couldn't use anything. They were going to drill into his teeth and he was going to feel every little bit of it.

"Iris I have to go," Barry said, suddenly turning just as they were at the door of his apartment.

"What – why, you said –"

"I forgot," he said, "I'm late."

"Alright, where do you need to go, I'll drive you."

"No, it's fine, I'll see you later," he said, "I just need to grab something from inside."

"Barry, what's going on," Iris asked.

"Nothing, I'm late," he said, wiping his hands off on his pants as his palms kept sweating. Novocain. Drilling. He'd feel every single bit of it.

"Barry –"

"I'll see you later," he said. And he shut the door, going inside his apartment. Iris banged on the door but there was no answer. By the time she turned around to go back to her car Barry was halfway down the fire escape and about three seconds later he was in Star Labs.

"Whoa," Cisco said as he appeared out of nowhere.

Caitlin looked up as well, startled.

"I have a cavity," Barry said.

Cisco looked at Caitlin.

"Umm, OK."

Barry disappeared again, and two seconds later he was back with a pair of pliers in his hand next to Caitlin, grabbing her arm and pulling her over to the hospital bed.

"I need you to pull it out," he said.

"What?" Caitlin looked at Cisco but he was just as confused as she was.

Barry laid back on the bed and pushed the pliers into her hands. "It's the second to last molar on the right." He pushed his head back on the bed and squeezed his eyes shut. "Just pull it out quick." He opened his mouth wide.

Caitlin and Cisco looked at each other as Caitlin held the pair of pliers.

"Come on," Barry said, "I can take it, just – just do it quick." He clenched his hands together. When after a few more seconds nothing happened Barry opened his eyes, desperation setting in. "What are you waiting for? Come on," he said, "Come on." He braced himself again. "Damnit, just do it," he shouted finally, his face breaking.

Caitlin finally snapped out of her reverie. "Barry," she said, "I am not pulling out your tooth."

Tears were pricking the corners of his eyes. "You have to," he said, "I have a cavity and I can't – I can't have Novocain and they have to drill it – you have to pull it out. Come on, I can't do it myself."

She looked down at the pair of pliers. "And your solution to being unable to have it drilled is to pull the whole thing out – Barry you won't have any teeth left if you keep pulling out any of them that have any problems."

"Well what do I do?" Barry shouted, suddenly getting up. He was pacing around, eyes snapping all over the place. "I can't – I'm not letting them drill into my – I'm not having them fill it."

"Barry, calm down," Caitlin said.

"I can't!" he shouted, "I can't calm down they're going to drill into my tooth and I can't get nitrous oxide and I'm going to feel every damn little bit of it, Caitlin, I'm going to feel the whole thing –"

Barry's voice cracked and he cut off, shuddering. He turned quickly, away from them, swiping at his eyes with the back of his wrist.

"Hey, Barry, we'll figure something out," Cisco said.

Barry trembled, his back to them.

"Yeah, just, hang on a second, relax. We'll figure it out."

"I have to go," he said.

And then he was gone, leaving Cisco and Caitlin staring at the space where he had been.

OK i think i have decided that i will be incorporating a self harm bit so there will be a warning for that appearing on the next chapter - PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THAT - i will put all warnings at the beginnings of chapters so you guys are aware - besides that please review! And don't worry there's going to be some major comfort coming up :) Let me know ideas comments and suggestions please!