Rock and a Hard Place 2
It is one of those moments when everything seems to slow down and everything goes all soft and glowie, like those 80's pictures. And I realize how much I fucked up, because Bobby is going to kill me, and Angel is going to kill me, and Jack and Jerry too, probably. I feel like a regular Monday morning quarterback. Case in point, drugs are bad.
I open my mouth slowly, going to say something, but Bobby's eyes are fire and ice and I shiver and shut my mouth. He goes to stand, hand clenched in a fist over the pills, so I open my mouth again, then I shut it 'cause I really don't know what to say. So in the end, I look like a dying fish, gasping for air before I die. Fitting, I guess. Drugs were the bait, Bobby the fisher, me, well, you get the point.
All this probably takes place in a matter of seconds, but who knows, for me it feels longer.
"Those aren't mine." I whisper.
Bobby lunges off the couch, jumping over the coffee table and backpack and snags my arm with a hard grip, shaking me, drugs still clutched in his hand. "What the fuck were you thinking?!" He shouts.
I wince at the unexpected pain in my arm. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Bobby has me so close I can feel his hot breath on my face and smell the salami he enjoys so much. I shrink down under his glare, feet pulling me away from my brother. I can feel him shake with anger, not even sure what to do.
Angel makes a sound of disbelief, shaking his head. He's standing now, his hat pulled low on his furrowed brow and Jack is next to him, looking betrayed and disheveled. Then Bobby jerks me back to look at him, his eyes boring into mine, the anger making him shake.
He pulls me around again, letting me swing out from the force of his arm, and he turns me to the side, securing me against his hip. Then his hand is hitting my ass so hard my hips jerk forward. And I'm pulling against his forearm, hands trying to push him away, face scrunched in pain and hollering for him to stop.
But he doesn't.
So we turn in a circle. I try to dance away while Bobby nails me again and again, his concentration solely on burning my ass with his hand. And it hurts like hell. He's never spanked me this hard and my eyes tear up.
My Dad used to hit me like this, sometimes. Except he'd grab a belt and hit me anywhere, my ass, my hand, hell, my face. Anything he could get a hold of was fair game. I'd walk away with bruises and sometimes I'd even wake up in some furniture he broke and I couldn't move from the bruises and the pain. This is different though. The only similarity is how scared I am and how mad Bobby is.
I feel tears burn in my eyes, threatening to spill over, but Bobby stops. He roughly pulls me forward again and I hang my head. I go to wipe my eyes, backing away, but my oldest brother grabs my hands, clamping them in his and pulls my chin up. I try and avoid his eyes.
"Look at me." He says, his voice tense.
I glance at Angel and Jack instead. They're still there, arms crossed over their chests, but they look more sad than anything. I look back at the carpet, letting my socked foot pick at a frayed piece of carpet.
"Boy, you best start talking." Angel warns from the corner.
I gulp, meeting Bobby's dark eyes. "M'sorry." I glance between the three of them.
Bobby barks out a laugh. It's hollow and forced, not his usual loud and echoing one. "Oh no you don't. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me where the fuck you got these." He holds up his fisted hand. "You steal them?"
I close my mouth, looking back at the ground. Bobby gives me another hard shake. "Tell me what I fucking want to know, Alex. I'm sick of talking to your hair. Don't make me ask again."
"No."
"No what?" He shifts on his feet.
"I didn't steal them."
"Then where'd you get drugs, kid?" Jack asks, his voice laden with concern. Usually Bobby or Angel would tell him to shut up, but now, they want to know too. And I want to shrink until I'm Nick Szalinski or something and fall into a hole in the carpet to get lost in the fibers of the minute world.
I shrug. Bobby goes to turn me around again. I blanch. "No, no, no! I, uh, I got them. Bought them, with money."
It doesn't save my ass though and Bobby gives me a look before landing two more painful smacks. I suck in my breath, the pain reignited, and the he turns me back to face him.
"From who?"
I shake my head, face scrunched and hands sneaking down to rub the burn from my ass. "I dunno, just some guy. I didn't get his name."
Bobby snorts. "Yeah, you did. Don't lie to me, I will fuck you up." He growls.
I squirm. "C'mon, Bobby, I don't, I swear!"
He leans in close, his hand squeezing my shoulder. "You wanna go another round?"
I shake my head. "But—"
"Then tell me where the fuck you got this shit from." He growls. I lean away, pushing my thin frame to the right, struggling against my brother's muscled arm. I feel his hand clamp down harder on my bicep. Finally I just look at him, the silence not working.
"No."
"Alex, I swear to God…" He goes to move me again.
"Okay, okay." I hold up my hands, but Bobby still goes to turn me. "Okay. Bobby! Cray gave them to me."
Bobby is livid. "Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck are you doing, talkin' to Cray? You little shit!" He shakes my arms and I make a sort of squeal, not dignified at all. Yep, that's me, stuck pig over here.
"Bobby, please."
"No, don't you fucking start with me." He glowers, eyes boring into me like fire pokers. I shrink back, my shoulders coming up close to my ears as the rest of me pulls away from him. "You're gonna answer me, or I will put you over my knee and wail your ass black and blue." Bobby goes to yell more, but then we hear: "Bobby."
It's forceful, but controlled and almost sad too. I glance over to the doorway of the living room. Jerry has his jacket in his hand, a worried look on his face. "What's goin' on?"
Bobby glares between me and our brother, too angry to speak. Jack and Angel shift from their quiet corner to look as well. I probably look like a mess, with tears in my eyes and one sock missing.
"Bobby, you don't need to be doing that." Jerry looks at the older man. "He's emotional, y'all can't start wailin' on him."
"Too late." Jack coughs, swiping his hand on his pants.
Angel smacks Jack's shoulder roughly. "Shut the fuck up, Jack." Jack looks slightly hurt, but just leans back, still watching our middle brother.
Jerry shakes his head again with this news, looking more worried.
Bobby eyeballs me, his expression softened. "You tell him what you did." He releases my arm, pushing me forward. I stumble a little before looking back at my oldest brother. Bobby nods. "Go on."
Jerry looks expectedly at me.
I shake my head slowly. I can't. I can't look Jerry in the eye with his condescending, anxious, sad look. I can't watch Angel shake his head and slam his phone shut one more time, or Jack lean against the wall quietly with his stern watch, only ruined by his anarchic hair.
I can't look at Bobby.
Bobby makes a guttural noise, turning me and pushing the pills into my hand. I gulp.
Jerry notices and grunts in disbelief. "Drugs, Alex?" He just sounds disappointed, maybe even a little shocked, which seems worse than Bobby's shouting and cussin'.
I feel my eyes fill up again and I squeeze away the wetness in shame. I find the floor again and the boring pattern on our carpet. There's a stain there too, probably from coffee or the tomato sauce from a misplaced slice of pizza.
"Use your damn mouth." Bobby voices from behind me. I startle.
"Y-yeah. I'm sorry, Jerry." I glance around at my brothers, hand balled in a fist over the pills burning a hole in me. "Jack, Angel, Bobby. It was stupid."
I hear a few snorts. "Child, fallin' down the stairs is stupid. Drugs, they'll kill you." Angel states darkly. I nod slowly, eyes wavering on his stern expression.
Jerry just sighs again, his hand over his mouth. "Alright." He says finally. "We all gonna go into the kitchen and we're gonna talk about this, like civilized people." He gives Bobby a look.
Jerry nods at me and I slowly trudge after him, with the rest of our mismatched family behind me. Hell of a day this is.
XXXXX
"Where'd you meet Cray?"
I shake my head. "I didn't."
Jerry sighs, leaning forward in his chair. It feels like an interrogation at the table with all three of my brothers on the other side, watching me. Jack sits at the ends, toying with a quarter, spinning it and quietly slapping his hand down on in it every so often. Jerry and Angel are next, chairs slightly back from the table. Except Angel has his hat off again, leaning back in his chair with a sour look on his face, while Jerry leans forward, hands folded on the wood table.
"Then how the hell'd you get those drugs?" His voice is calm, but it holds a tone of warning.
"There's a kid at school." I shift in my seat, glancing between my brothers. Angel quirks an eyebrow at me. "And, uh, he's related to Cray, I think. I don't know how. He, uh, he gets me stuff."
"Bullshit." Bobby closes the fridge door, turning with a cup in hand to look at us. I turn in my seat. "You doin' drugs, princess, or you wanna rethink your situation?"
I'm not, not really. I swallow hard. "Yes." I mutter.
Bobby nods, pulling out a chair and sitting down solidly at the head of the table. "Where."
"Now c'mon, Bobby—" Jerry begins.
"No." Bobby looks at Jerry evenly. "We wanna know where the hell our kid brother is getting drugs. We're gonna find out."
They all look expectedly, and not for the first time today I don't know what to say. Honestly? Honestly, I heard about Cray. I knew the stories, because like anyone macho man, he has a reputation. You have to, to stay relevant. Anyway, I heard his business and about the money. And greenbacks are the sweet treasure of this world, and the key to new video games. So I found him, at his hub, chalked up a deal and left with a bag full of goodies to sell to the kids at school. The catch was I had to pay him back, as in $179.
I don't really know why he gave them to me. It's a helluva a lot of money to through at a kid, and think he'll spot you the payment. But Cray fucks people up. A lot. And I knew walkin' out of his lair that I didn't want my throat slit or worse. All I know is I'm royally fucked anyway I go. Dealing with Cray, loosing the goods, or telling my brothers I've been truant.
Bobby snaps his fingers by my face. I blink hard, eyes focusing on him. "Hey! Tell us where the hell met that royal fuck."
I shake my head, going to open my mouth, to tell him something else.
"Don't fucking lie to me, Alex. I wanna know." Bobby pins me with his look.
I rest back in my chair, my bony shoulders rubbing the wood slats uncomfortably. "At his place."
Bobby and Angel groan. "No shit." One of them mumbles.
Jerry sighs. "Alright then, when did you go, Alex?" He pauses, ignoring the frustration around us. Then I see his epiphany. "You been sneaking out?" My eyes go wide. How the hell did he know?
"N-no."
"We can tell you're lyin'." Jerry shakes his head. "We ain't dumb."
"I didn't say you were." I mumble.
Bobby snorts, moving his cup forward and leaning forward towards me. "Don't fucking lie. How many times?"
"Okay." I shrug. "I, uh, I skipped class today—" I cringe at my shitty explanation.
"These ain't recent." Angel points at the pile in the middle of the table.
I frown. Shitfire. "And other times…" I say more quietly.
"When?" Bobby is unrelenting.
Jerry watches Bobby before turning his gaze back to me. "How long you been doing this? Since Ma was here?" I bite the inside of my lip. "Alex?"
"Y-yeah." I say, my voice wet and emotional.
Jerry nods slowly. "You been doin' this for weeks? Months?"
I nod again, teeth sinking further into my cheeks.
"Damn." The three of them shake their heads. Jerry leans back, letting his hand swipe over his face, resting his forehead in his hands. Bobby just sits there though, glaring at me.
"Why the fuck—" He begins, voice venomous.
"Leave him alone, Bobby." Jack speaks quietly.
Bobby glares at the younger man. "Don't tell me what the fuck to do, Jackie boy. Leave him alone?" His voices rises. Jerry lifts his head. "Okay, we'll fucking leave him the fuck alone so the little shit can go get himself fucked up on drugs and get his ass beat!"
I cringe. "I'm sorry—" I try.
"I don't want to hear it." Bobby silences me. "This ends, y'hear me?" He points at me. I just nod. "I fucking mean it, Alex."
"Yeah, I promise."
"Don't fucking promise me. Make it happen."
"Alright man, y'all made your point." Jerry says slowly, watching our feuding brothers. He looks back at me, scratching his head. "Where did you meet Cray?"
"I, uh, I skipped class a few months ago. With a friend–"
"Who?" Angel pushes. "Daniel? Your little play date buddy?"
I glare at the ex-Marine. "It's not play dates, Angel." Angel snorts. But I watch my tone, remembering I'm on thin ice. Or more like in the frozen waters in the pond where the thin ice dropped my, but it's semantics, really. "But yeah, D'Shawn and I skipped."
Jerry looks confused, eyebrows furrowed and frowning. "Play dates?"
"Yeah play dates, little brother." Bobby fixes me with an icy stare, his sarcastic and sharp voice cutting into me. He knows. "See our baby brother over here snuck out at 3 in the fucking morning to go off with a little dipshit called Daniel." He gestures at me.
Jerry frowns. "That true?"
I nod.
He sighs, shaking his head. "Keep going, Alex."
"I knew about it all. You know, what Cray did, er, does. And I wanted some money."
"Why? You want some fuckin' cash, I'll give you some." Bobby glowers.
I shake my head. "I wanted to earn it myself."
"So you sell drugs?" Jack asks incredulously. I bite my lip.
"Shut the fuck up, Jack." Angel says again. "And stop playing with that damn thing." He smacks the back of Jack's hand, making the spinning quarter topple on to the table.
"Lay off, man." Jack growls, clamping his fist around the coin. Angel just looks back at us.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"Don't fucking apologize." Bobby growls. "Tell us what the hell we want to know, kid."
I nod and take a deep breath, opening my mouth to continue.
TBC
Thank you all, my faithful readers/reviewers; I'm so glad to see you're enjoying the story!