Chapter 3: Wujing (No. 84)

I sit at the dining table and just stare out of the window.

"Are you okay?" Gabe asks me.

He had to sit down with a psychopath who stabbed him and he's asking me if I'm okay. This is why I love this man. He always puts other people before himself.

"Yeah. Fine. Why?"

"It's just that Reddington comes into our lives — Zamani comes into our home. That's a lot of intrusion of personal space. It's a lot for anyone to take, Liz. I want to make sure that you're okay — that you're going to be okay."

"I'm not one of your projects, Gabe. I'm your wife and if I need to talk to you, I will," I tell him as I rise from the table and throw my jacket on over my purple blouse.

"You see? This is what I'm talking about. You're under stress, I know. But I don't want you bottling it all up, Liz. I can't let you live like that. Don't shut me out. Please."

"But why would Reddington send Zamani into the house?" I ask. "He already had what he wanted. He had his deal with me. I just don't understand it."

"Liz, you had Reddington nailed nine ways to Sunday in Montreal. You know how he works more than you think you do. But you can't and won't figure out all the answers within two weeks of meeting the man. You can't believe anything we know about him. He's shrouded in mystery and falsehoods."

I just sigh. He's right. This isn't his fault. "I know."

My phone suddenly chimes with an incoming new text message.

"Is that him?"

I just nod.

"Be careful."

I follow his instructions to a hat shop. I see Reddington in the corner of the store trying on fedoras.

"An opportunity has come our way," he says when he notices me come into the store.

"Yesterday, the Chinese killed a CIA agent in Shanghai. They took his computer, which they thought could decode a message they intercepted. It couldn't. They've asked me to help."

I just look to the store clerk like: "Hello? We're not the only ones in here."

"Oh! Roderick is a dear old friend."

Well, if Red is not going to pay any attention to him, then I won't.

"So let me get this straight. You're decoding CIA messages on behalf of the Chinese?" I'm pretty sure that the offense in my voice is nothing compared to the offense I'm feeling. I get that Red is a globetrotter, causing international messes and such, but he used to be one of us. He used to stand for his country and now he does nothing but for his own gain and amusement.

"You make it seem like treason: so black and white. It's not. It's green. The fact is: American secrets are for sale by an assortment of reputable venders, myself included. If I don't do this, someone else will. The man paying me is called Wujing."

Oh, him. Everyone in the Federal Government has heard of him, but he's a ghost. He's undetectable. He's a notorious spy killer and secret-seller.

"I've already forwarded them your cover," Reddington tells me.

"Cover? What cover? You know my history, Reddington, so tell me where did you see that I'm a decryption expert? I know nothing about it!"

It's true. I'm not the world's best computer-user.

"Carolynn Gibbons, PhD in Applied Physics from MIT."

"You're asking me to betray the life of an American Agent? Maybe you can do that, but I can't. I'm not you, Reddington. I can't betray my country."

"This is a guy who the Intelligence Community has been talking about as if he were a figment. I'm giving you the opportunity to grab him. Now, the good news is that he isn't even in China. He's right here in your own backyard. Play your cards right and I can still make Lisbon before breakfast."

"WDCJ: a small radio station five miles from here. The building was bought by a corporation fronted by the Chinese government," Reddington reports.

"But if I do this, that means the Chinese will know the asset's name as well," I say aloud.

"Then the race begins," Reddington replies.

"We try to save him while the Chinese try to kill him," Gabe says from beside me. "We could lead the Chinese in the wrong direction. Then again, they might not know what the message contains, but they know what it isn't."

"Dr. Keen is right. We do this for real or we don't do it at all," Reddington says.

"Okay…" I begin, "But everyone here is missing one important detail: I know nothing about encryption."

"I can help you with that," Gabe says.

He sets me up with a tech who spouts out a whole lot of gibberish. I don't understand any of it. He talks of "magic boxes," and "data lockers."

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Once we're clear of Wujing and in front of Red's hotel, we just sit here in his Mercedes in awkward silence.

"You didn't have to kill him," I tell Reddington.

"I believe I will always do whatever I feel I have to do to keep you alive," Red tells me.

Oh, are we finally starting to see some emotion? By George, I believe we are.

"Why?" I ask him.

"Because of your father."

The question is: is he talking about Sam or the man who produced the sperm to create me? I don't hold a whole lot of warmth for the man. He abandoned me when I was around four years old. Three years old is when cognitive abilities are in place. It's the year when memories are able to be stored. That's my problem; I have no memory of my life before Sam adopted me. It's all gone. That's why I can't afford to live in the past. It's so broken that I wouldn't even know where to begin to clean up the pieces.

"Did you know him?" I ask.

"I wish the answer were as simple as the question seems. But the truth is, the question isn't simple either."

"What'd you do, kill him? An answer you are unwilling to give has nothing to do with its complexity. One thing I've learned about humanity is that you can never put anything past anybody. You act like it, but we're not the same. I've got a family: people who care about me and rely on me. But you — this is all you have."

"I have you," he tells me.

I just laugh. It's the only reaction I can think of to do. "You cast yourself into a world where friends don't exist. You only have associates. You realize and acknowledge that those people can turn on you in an instant. You're so used to everything being trades and negotiations that you think you can put your foot in my door and get whatever you're looking for with the promise of answers. You think that you can keep me frustrated and thirsty enough for answers to keep you around. I'm here simply because you put me here. It's my job. You asked for a Profiler, so a Profiler you get."

I get out of the car and just begin the walk back to HQ. I need the air. I need to clean space for thought processing.

When I get there, it is dusk and by the time I file the paperwork and update Reddington's profile that I've recently began writing down, I grab my keys and drive home. I get there to see that Gabe isn't and Melanie is being watched by my Mother in-law.

Gabe's POV:

I walk underneath the overpass to see Reddington standing there with his back to me. He is standing alone, but I'm sure Dembe is not far behind. It's not like Red has to worry about anything. I'm not here to hurt him. He and I have a very common interest.

"Hello, Gabriel. It's been too long," Reddington tells me without turning around.

"That it has, Red. That it has."

"I've been happy with you, Gabriel. You treat Elizabeth well."

"You didn't call me out here to discuss the Husband Handbook, Red."

Red finally turns to look at me. "No. I did not."

"If you're here to tell me that Liz is in increased danger because you're here to solve some unresolved issue with her, don't bother. I already know. Just like I know you sent Zamani into my house to remind me. You act like I don't know that it is my job to take care of my family — From any and all dangers. I'm her husband, not some asset you hired! You haven't been here, Red. I have. You aren't there when she dreams of fires and wakes up screaming. I am. I'm the one that's there, Red! I am!"

"Well, I'm here now," Red tells me.

I just scoff. "But in what capacity? You want something from her, that's obvious. If it's something from the past, forget it. She's asked me to try to tap into it, but it didn't work. I've tried anything and everything that's in my tool belt and nothing. Her memory has been tampered with and she knows that. We might not be experts in that field, but we're not stupid."

"I never said you were."

"Look, Red, just be prepared to have her do the one thing you could probably never stand her to do."

"And what might that be?"

"Care. You two are going to have a messed up relationship. She's in more danger because of you and she's still going to want to rescue you from whatever danger you're in. You're going to matter to her. Which scares you more than anything. By the time your deal is over, you two might have a better bond that she and Sam ever did. You won't be just a commodity to her. She Profiles the hell out of you, Red. She's good at what she does."

I turn around and make my way back home.