I know. I'm terrible. In my defense, I have nothing to back up the beginning of this sentence. Please forgive me?

Honestly, I don't know if I'll be able to post anything soon. A lot of things are happening in real life, so... I'll try as hard as I can.

The events of this chapter are happening two months earlier. I'll fix some things in the previous chapter so it will fit better, but those are minor. You don't really need to re-read everything.

Also, this chapter explores Jade's subtle changes in her attitude towards her relationship with Tori. Hope I make sense.

Please review!

Two months earlier.

Every time I come home, I have no idea what to expect. I always brace myself for the worst. Jade with a random girl on the couch; Jade with a random girl on the floor; against the wall; on our dining table. Several scenarios out of the aforementioned have happened in the past, anyway.

Actually, her latest affair was what finalized my decision about leaving for summer tour. Caroline's been going on and on about that for ages, and one morning, I flew into the studio, my eyes red and my hands shaking, ready to sign any paper she could give me. I had to get away from the nightmare that was my relationship. If you could even call it that.

And now I'm back, and I have no idea what to expect. I did expect Jade to be ecstatic when she found out I left for the country tour. The question right now is whether her partying is still going.

I pause and take a deep breath before turning the lock. The house greets me with eerie silence. I'm astounded to find it clean: no empty bottles or naked bodies scattered on the floor. I'm even more astounded when I raise my eyes to be met with Jade's scrutinizing gaze. The cold rage in her icy blues makes me shiver involuntary.

"Welcome back," she states. There's nothing welcoming about her tone. She's not the warmest person as it is, but right now, it feels like drowning in the frozen river. "I thought you'd call. I wanted to give you a lift from the airport."

"Caroline picked me up," I reply, going with the attempted politeness as I cross the room to the stairs. "The jetlag is killing me, I think I'm gonna sleep for a while."

"That's it?"

I freeze, my knuckles turning white as I squeeze the bag handle tightly.

"What do you mean?" My tone is neutral.

"You could at least look at me, you know."

It's not the phrase that makes my blood run cold: it's her tone, soft, quiet. If I didn't know better, I'd say she sounded broken. But I do.

"I'm really tired, Jade," I utter as I turn to face her. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait."

"You just up and left." Her accusation is almost sharp, but her voice betrays her at the end as it breaks.

I keep silent as I watch her, and something boils inside me. Anger seeps into my blood as I watch her act like a caring girlfriend who's been wronged. She doesn't get to play the victim. Not after everything.

I explode.

"So I should've stayed, then, huh? What, you wanted me to stay and watch as you cheat on me right on this fucking couch?! Maybe next time I should join the fun, even, what do you say?" She blinks, shocked, and I laugh. "Yes, I left. I was going to, anyway. That's kinda my job, Jade – but thank you for making the decision so much easier."

She's next to me, suddenly, searching my face with her beautiful, beautiful eyes, and there's something new in her gaze.

For the first time in forever, I'm struck with an insane thought that maybe she's afraid of losing me as much as I'm afraid of losing her.

"Stop the drama, Vega." Her words crash into me together with the reality, wiping away the crazy hope in my heart. "We have a deal."

We do. An unspoken agreement. She's damaged; she's like that, and she can't change, and I should take it or leave it. I think I'm starting to realize it's not that she can't be someone else. She won't. Not for me.

Maybe, I should leave it, after all.

She narrows her eyes at me as she catches an unfamiliar scent. That's right, Caroline changed her perfume – again. It was bound to happen – I'm surprised it took her this long. But the thing about Jade is she's a girl of habit, and she automatically assumes that everyone's like her, too.

She thinks I've been with someone else.

"Who was it?" Her voice is so quiet I barely catch the question. When I do, my thoughts are confirmed. I decide to play dumb.

"What are you talking about?"

She backs me up against the wall, a soft growl rumbling deep in her chest as she glares at me. I drop the bag as she grabs my hands, pinning them to the wall on each side of my face.

"I can smell them all over you," she snarls, her gaze fierce. "Whose perfume is that?"

I know I'm about to play a dangerous game, but I simply can't resist. Not when I have her so riled up. It actually surprises me that she's so concerned with who I've been with. Jade is a possessive type – I knew that, the whole school knew that. Yet, she never displayed any jealousy with me; but then again, I've never actually tested her.

Now I will.

"That's for me to know and for you to lose sleep over," I snarl right back, our faces millimeters away from each other as I lean in, mocking her. "Don't worry, it wasn't a model. I'm leaving those to you."

For a second, it looks like she flinched. But only for a second.

Next, my legs are around her waist as she punishes me with her kiss, as brutal as her hand on my wrists. Another hand grips my thigh, fingers digging the flesh. I'm certain I'll find bruises there in the morning. I'm also certain I don't care.

Because no matter how poisonous she is for me, I'll always crave her touch. The tour's been a pure torture without Jade. I was unbelievably wound up, and I did try to satisfy my urges by substituting her, but I couldn't go through with it. I wish I could say it was because I'm not a cheater, but the reason is a far sadder one.

They weren't Jade.

"Jade," her name falls from my lips, broken, as she tears her mouth away, leaving me wanting more. "God…"

"Who was it?" She demands once again, her narrowed eyes concentrating on my face as she hikes up my skirt. I faintly hear a tearing sound as she rids of my panties, all the while never breaking eye contact with me. Her palm cups me next, and I'm ashamed when she finds me already wet.

I did say I craved her, didn't I?

"No one," I breathe out, technically not lying. "Please…"

I can tell by the look on her face that she wants to make me suffer. She planned on teasing me and never giving me a relief until I broke and fessed up about my supposed one-night-stand, but she overlooked one minor detail. She missed me. We may have our problems, we might be fucked up, our relationship might be damaged beyond repair, but one thing will never change. I'm the only one she's ever really satisfied with. No matter how many times she checked with all those other girls, she'll come back to me. At least that's my theory, because there has to be something that keeps her here.

Plus, the sex is phenomenal.

I gasp as she gives in, plunging two fingers inside me and driving them like mad, her body the only thing stopping me from sliding down the wall. I'm completely at her mercy, just how she likes it. But she decides to take it further.

Our lips meet in a fevered kiss again as she grabs my ass, hoisting me up on her hips and quickly walking us upstairs. My back collides with the softness of our bed next, and the familiar weight of her body on mine makes me forget about everything but us for a moment.

Next, I'm left alone, a cool draft on my heated core as she drops a quick kiss on my collarbone and picks herself up. I don't even have time to question her when she reaches in the drawer, silently watching me as her hand takes something out.

I watch her tensely as well, understanding her intentions when I see what's in her hand. She wants to fully claim me. As she steps into the harnesses of a strap-on, I feel myself clench in anticipation of what's to come. It's not often that she decided to take me this way, and when she does, it's always about possession. She wants to feel that I'm hers. It's a common fact that Jade is all about owning, plus she never did get over the fact that she wasn't the one who took my virginity. So, this is her way of re-claiming me over and over.

Little did she know, she actually was my first. I just chose not to tell her. She was drunk that night, and I don't think her conscience will handle the news well.

I probably should've stopped her that night when she decided to 'spice things up' with a fake cock. I also should've mentioned I was a virgin. I did neither. In my defense, she never asked. A flimsy one, I know.

I'm torn out of my memories as she plants a surprisingly gentle kiss on my knee, slowly reaching higher until we're face to face. My legs fall open on their own accord, entwining around her midsection.

"I missed you," the words slip from me traitorously, but it's too late to take them back. Jade scowls briefly, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what her thoughts are about. She still thinks I slept with someone else. I wonder how she feels, knowing I let someone kiss me, touch me, take me. That someone who wasn't her got to explore most intimate of places and brought me higher than she ever did.

I'm not even sorry when I feel slight satisfaction.

"Did you, really?" She replies, still scowling, staring down at me. I choose not to answer, instead kissing her, sighing with content at the taste of her lips on mine.

Then, I cry out as she enters me, more from surprise than pain. It does feel uncomfortable at first, however. The size isn't something I'm used to.

"Slower," I gasp as she stretches me. "Go slower."

She complies.

"Tell me when to stop," her whisper is rushed against my lips as the cock keeps penetrating me. I go still once it becomes too much, shaking my head so she doesn't go further. My breathing is ragged as I try to gather myself.

"Tori." I bite my lip as a rush of arousal rips through me at my name on her lips. Especially when it sounds like that. Quiet, almost tender, filled with concern. "Should I stop…"

"No," I quickly reply. "Just… easy, okay?"

Her slow pumps indicate she understands. Soon, I'm moaning constantly at the feeling of her inside me.

"Faster," I practically beg. "Please, Jade… Jade…"

Beads of sweat form on our bodies as she picks up her pace, slamming in me at the end. A never-ending string of moans and gasps with her name mixed in-between falls from my lips, louder and louder each time she deeply thrusts.

"Fuck," she swears, her face falling to my neck, hot puffs of air covering my skin. "You feel so good…"

I lose it.

My body freezes for a second before I arch my back, trashing around as I come, screaming her name. Distantly, I feel her erratic thrusts as she nears the edge too, climaxing moments later with a loud curse.

It's never my name.

But before I have time to reflect on that fact, I'm picked up and placed on the bed, my head on her chest as she almost tenderly traces circles on my back. Her breathing is still rough and uneven and she struggles to catch it.

Maybe it's because of the situation, or because I'm still weak from my orgasm, but I decide to tell her the truth.

"It's Caroline's."

"What?"

"The perfume. She got a new one, and she hugged me, and the scent was also clouding the car. That's why I smell like her," I rush to explain.

After a moment of silence, I lift my head to look at her. Later, I will berate myself for not looking up sooner. Maybe I would have been able to see her reaction clearly, but now, as I raised my eyes to her face, I barely caught something close to relief in her eyes before it was replaced with her usual melancholy.

"Okay," she simply replies.

The disappointment feels bitter in my chest.